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Travellin' South - The Dominant Kiss?

catalina_francisco

catalina_francisco

Happily insatiable always
Joined
Jul 29, 2002
Posts
18,730
Hopefully I am not repeatng a previous topic, but to date I could only find its opposite discussed as a thread topic. As part of my journey of submission, the topic of Dominants and their willingness or desire to perform cunnilingus or fellatio on their submissive/s has at times become an interesting discussion with a variety of responses I think are worth exploring. There seems to be those who do, those who don't, and those who do or don't for a specific purpose especially during play. For now I am choosing not to list the variation of reasons and thoughts which have been shared with me in the interests of encouraging an open discussion not foreshadowed by any previous statements.

I think from the submissive, especially female, POV it is often a misunderstood or gray area of the sexual relationship which is not always that easily raised for discussion with their Dominant, or welcomed, depending on the circumstances. While I am aware some may not see it as a specific BDSM related issue, I know for many the whole act is related to the Dominant's perception, and at times the submissive's also. I would love both Dom/mes and submissives to share their thoughts and experiences in the hope we may all learn a little more about the life we choose to live, and those who share our choices.

Catalina :rose:
 
I would never let DomHood interfere with something as natural as eating pussy. As long as she asks to cum. Why would I deny myself something that I enjoy?
 
personally i have never been crazy about recieving oral sex..it just doesnt float my boat. and from my submissive perspective, i dont want him to do it. id rather go down on him four times in a row, making him cum each time, til my jaw is aching and sore, than have him go down on me once. i'd just rather serve him than have him "serve" me like that.
 
sigsauerprinces feels a bit like i do about the subject...i have never cared to receive oral sex. it has always just felt odd, strange, unnatural. like things were out of place. and this is how i felt BEFORE discovering that i was a submissive. it just goes against my submissive instincts, against who i am entirely. i would never stop a man from using my body in a way that pleased him, but i could never be comfortable with a man being in a position physically beneath him. i understand there are quite a few Dominants who use it as a bit of orgasm/pleasure control. but as i do not find it pleasant, this purpose would be lost on me. for me receiving oral could only ever be punishment, or something done simply because the man feels like doing it, and doesn't care how i respond (or don't respond).
 
WriterDom said:
I would never let DomHood interfere with something as natural as eating pussy. As long as she asks to cum. Why would I deny myself something that I enjoy?
Click to expand...

True, but some don't see it as being that simple it seems.:D

and did you ever get your Bullwhip Book?

Catalina :rose:
 
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sigsauerprinces said:
personally i have never been crazy about recieving oral sex..it just doesnt float my boat. and from my submissive perspective, i dont want him to do it. id rather go down on him four times in a row, making him cum each time, til my jaw is aching and sore, than have him go down on me once. i'd just rather serve him than have him "serve" me like that.
Click to expand...

From the perspective of some Dominants, the view you preferred them not to do it would encourage them to, whether they personaly liked it or not. I have been told for women who dislike it, it is a torturous way to have them submit, and seen in that light as serving their Dominant in the way he is choosing, not the way they prefer.:eek:

Catalina :rose:
 
catalina_francisco said:
From the perspective of some Dominants, the view you preferred them not to do it would encourage them to, whether they personaly liked it or not. I have been told for women who dislike it, it is a torturous way to have them submit, and seen in that light as serving their Dominant in the way he is choosing, not the way they prefer.:eek:

Catalina :rose:
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good point-IF the Dominant liked to perform it..which, although i dont like to generalize, i think the majority of them prefer not to. (but i could be wrong). but i wouldnt "hate it" either, like be really grossed out or uncomfortable. i'd just feel...somewhat uncomfortable, and.... really bored :eek:
 
ownedsubgal said:
sigsauerprinces feels a bit like i do about the subject...i have never cared to receive oral sex. it has always just felt odd, strange, unnatural. like things were out of place. and this is how i felt BEFORE discovering that i was a submissive. it just goes against my submissive instincts, against who i am entirely. i would never stop a man from using my body in a way that pleased him, but i could never be comfortable with a man being in a position physically beneath him. i understand there are quite a few Dominants who use it as a bit of orgasm/pleasure control. but as i do not find it pleasant, this purpose would be lost on me. for me receiving oral could only ever be punishment, or something done simply because the man feels like doing it, and doesn't care how i respond (or don't respond).
Click to expand...

True, but in some sadistic way they can have so much fun watching you squirm and knowing you hate every minute!!:mad: Could it be some Dominant's also see it as a way to encourage growth in the submissive by pushing such limits and dislikes? Perhaps emphasising the submission? :)

Catalina :rose:
 
sigsauerprinces said:
good point-IF the Dominant liked to perform it..which, although i dont like to generalize, i think the majority of them prefer not to. (but i could be wrong). but i wouldnt "hate it" either, like be really grossed out or uncomfortable. i'd just feel...somewhat uncomfortable, and.... really bored :eek:
Click to expand...

LOL...must admit some can make it seem more entertaining than others...and of course there is always the thought of teeth so sharp and sadistic, so close to a tempting morsel. ;)

Catalina :rose:
 
catalina_francisco said:
True, but in some sadistic way they can have so much fun watching you squirm and knowing you hate every minute!!:mad: Could it be some Dominant's also see it as a way to encourage growth in the submissive by pushing such limits and dislikes? Perhaps emphasising the submission? :)

Catalina :rose:
Click to expand...


yes i can see that. but then, it's not as i would not submit to it, or put up any protest to it. it's not my nature to complain or refuse or protest. so i will grin and bear it regardless. what i hate though, are the times when i'm serving another Man and he decides to go down on me because he thinks it's just going to turn me on like crazy, make me cum, etc., and he notices my slight squirming and thinks that they're squirms of delight, so they just continue to do it more and more aggressively...blech! lol
 
catalina_francisco said:
True, but some don't see it as being that simple it seems.:D

and did you ever get your Bullwhip Book?

Catalina :rose:
Click to expand...



Yeah I got the book. I think I would have enjoyed it more if I hadn't seen the video first. There was a lot of overlap. It is something you just have to practice. Like the guy said in the video, the learning curve is slow for 90% of the time, then suddenly you just get it. Mine is a 4 footer and I think the shorter ones are more difficult. When it warms up I'll practice more
 
As a man I like the smell of a good clean pussy. I love the taste and the smooth texture of the sensitive skin. I love the feel of her squirming (can't really think of a better word) as she orgasms. I love how she becomes hyper sensative after the fact and I love to continue through her protests untill I feel her relaxing and another orgasm beginning.

As a dominant man I still love all of the same things and I find nothing "submissive" about doing it. That is what I think many of you are getting at without saying that word.

I've often read in stories, so many 'scenes' where the sole point was to have a submissive woman go down on her 'dom' but I dont' find a woman giving a blow job to be submissive either. So I don't understand this type of scene.

Sure there are ways that you can make it a bit more submissive for her. Forcing her down on you until she gags might qualify.
 
I am also in the club of women who dislike having someone go down on me. I find it extreamly uncomfortable, mentally, and I really just dislike it. The only times I allowed it to be done, I was just starting to experiment with sex, and I was about 19. The last time it was done, I didn't allow anything; I was tied up and had no choice, and I know for sure he didn't see it as any kind of submission on his part... it was something he wanted to do, something I didn't want him to do, and he didn't care what I wanted.
 
NCShin said:

As a dominant man I still love all of the same things and I find nothing "submissive" about doing it. That is what I think many of you are getting at without saying that word.

I've often read in stories, so many 'scenes' where the sole point was to have a submissive woman go down on her 'dom' but I dont' find a woman giving a blow job to be submissive either. So I don't understand this type of scene.

Sure there are ways that you can make it a bit more submissive for her. Forcing her down on you until she gags might qualify.
Click to expand...

You make a very valid point IMHO. I think it is about how you look at the issue, what you feel. If someone enjoys giving oral sex to another, it is very difficult for that person to then see it as an exclusively submissive act. For me to give it can range from teasing and erotic, to submissive and serving...it all depends on what the purpose of my Dominant is in receiving it, what the mood of the moment is, and to who I am giving it. If I hated it, or am doing it when emotional and upset, or for someone who repulses me it becomes a challenge and an act of submission. If I am receiving it from someone I would prefer not to, or who I feel wants to use it in some form to make me feel vulnerable or controlled, once again it becomes an act of submission.

Catalina :rose:
 
I think being the going downer has an opposite meaning in lesbian circles than straight ones, and I've always viewed myself through that lens, whoever I've been fucking.

When I have someone's genitals at face level, it's a control game. It's a chance to be a stud.

It has no disruption to my personal notions of being on Top, there's no way that someone, male or female gives it up without feeling like they are giving it all up when my tongue does the work. I make certain of this via other psychological means, tying down, eye contact that says something other than "servicing" specific kinds of talk...even making oral into a reward for other things...etc.

Of course if I know that I'm with a girl who dislikes being gone down on, I'm more likely to employ the most effective method to produce wracking orgasms if I want the wracking orgasm to happen.

That seems obvious. You gotta ask the questions if you want someone to come, whether for altruistic or selfish reasons.

I'm very much into imparting the lesson that behavior is just behavior and if I'm the Dom I have the right to do whatever the fuck I please to get off, whether the bottom/sub thinks it proper or not. It's a reconditioning that has to happen on every level when so much as being penetrated normally signifies passivity.
 
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Maybe I am an alien here but I actually enjoy it a lot when a man goes down on me.
The only difference would be when I would let it be done by someone who I am not trusting, but this is for me a totally different story.

Sorry Catalina I am not answer your Question but I think I don’t have one.

:rose: Anna Sue
 
You're not unusual.

Being gone down on is de rigeur if you ask me. Nothing finer.

I like to hold them by the hair and ears.
 
If i thought it could be used as a means of correction or punishment, I would use it as such. As far as in scene, I keep it to a minimum, but sometimes is good, especially if she is suspended. But out of scene, I love to perform orally, absolutely love it
 
Anna Sue said:
Maybe I am an alien here but I actually enjoy it a lot when a man goes down on me.
The only difference would be when I would let it be done by someone who I am not trusting, but this is for me a totally different story.

Sorry Catalina I am not answer your Question but I think I don’t have one.

:rose: Anna Sue
Click to expand...

LOL, don't think you are an alien. Have to agree, there have been some mighty fine memorable moments of men doing such things to me, and who was I to tell them to stop?!! :p I agree with the trust issue...I am very protective of Master's protperty so if I felt there was a risk from the licker I would not feel so willing to be the lickee.

Catalina http://www.logtenberg.info/sex/18+01.gif
 
niteshade said:
I am also in the club of women who dislike having someone go down on me. I find it extreamly uncomfortable, mentally, and I really just dislike it. The only times I allowed it to be done, I was just starting to experiment with sex, and I was about 19. The last time it was done, I didn't allow anything; I was tied up and had no choice, and I know for sure he didn't see it as any kind of submission on his part... it was something he wanted to do, something I didn't want him to do, and he didn't care what I wanted.
Click to expand...

So much can depend on the mind and how we accept or see things. I can relate to your feelings as I have been there at times for various reasons.

Catalina :rose:
 
Saint_Sinner said:
If i thought it could be used as a means of correction or punishment, I would use it as such. As far as in scene, I keep it to a minimum, but sometimes is good, especially if she is suspended. But out of scene, I love to perform orally, absolutely love it
Click to expand...

Welcome to the board Saint_Sinner. I look forward to reading more of your postings. I think for some it can be used very effectively as a punishment, and one that for the right submissive will be remembered. LOL, now you have managed to convince me you belong to the oral devotee association. ;)

Catalina :rose:
 
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