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An asylum for haiku and haikuists

MathGirl

MathGirl

Cogito
Joined
Aug 4, 2002
Posts
5,825
Damned haikus have spread around here like gonorrhea at church camp. Myself being possibly the worst offender. I suggest this thread be dedicated to haikus and those who perpetuate them. That might keep them from becoming as invasive as crabgrass and Harry Potter posts.

My morning haikus
are important as bee emm
sure wish I could stop

I wake in AM
full of dumb Jap poetry
at least I don't grunt

My heart soars with joy
rid of unwanted poems
morning haiku dump

MG
 
Sunday Tea

A woman is in her cups
Her brassiere runneth o'er
Twin volcanoes erupting



Thanks, MG.

Relieved, Perdita
 
Haiku etiquette

I don't know a damned thing about haikus. Are they all supposed to be seventeen syllables with a 5-7-5 syllable scheme?
If that's true, then Perdita just committed something other than haiku. Nice, though.
MG
Ps. Perhaps it would be best to welcome any type of poetry on this thread. As long as it's in basically poor taste.
 
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Fuck, I thought I had it right (kept changing syllables to fit). I like the idea of Haiku-like and other pomes (that's how Joyce spelled it for his one book, Pomes Pennyeach).

And who will be the judge of taste, MG?

poetically yours, Perdita
 
Taste

perdita said:
And who will be the judge of taste, MG?
Click to expand...

Dear Perdita,
Can't define bad taste, but I know it when I see it. Like it, too.
MG
Ps. "Haiku-like" is good. Haikuoid? Haikuiform?
 
Haikuic is my personal choice.

I always thought Ralph Wiggum of "The Simpson's" had a pure, uncorrupted mind that truly captured the simplicity of the haiku. (Wait, that's not "always," that's "never." Get the pesky words mixed up all the time.) Observe:

It tastes like burning!
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
I bent my wookie.
 
A thread devoted
entirely to haiku?
This ought to be good.
 
Gabriel_Lee said:
Life, the universe and everything.
Else.
Seventeen syllables.
Click to expand...
Dear GL,
You're really having some difficulty with this, aren't you? Just when I thought you had it nailed, you come up with a sixteen syllable haiku.
MG
Ps. Didn't think I'd count, did you?
Pps.
Poor Gabriel Lee
he tries so hard but cannot
get hang of Jap pome
 
MG's haiku rules

ProofreadManx said:
A quick summary of "rules"
Click to expand...
Dear PM,
Thank you. That's very good. Think I'll pick and choose the rules I will follow:
1. 17 syllables
2. 3 lines
3. 5-7-5 scheme
4. Capitalize first word each line
5. Make sound like translated from ferrin language

Haiku ain't so hard
Use MG's rules, it easy
But not really haiku

Who care what folks think
Write haiku good for the soul
Even if not real thing

Even bad haiku
Beat jab in eye with sharp stick
But only barely

MG
 
MG: I'll go with haiku-like, plus use titles (thanks anyway Manx). Sweetbutt, I think you've found your niche.

Perdita


Antony and Cleopatra

Noble soldier loses heart and war,
Egyptian queen pussy-whips the Roman bloke,
She gets the last asp.
 
Tony and Cleo

perdita said:
Noble soldier loses heart and war,
Egyptian queen pussy-whips the Roman bloke,
She gets the last asp.
Click to expand...
Dear Perdita,
That summed it up perfectly. Why even bother to read Cliff's Notes?
MG
Ps.
Now to bed early
Haiku will hatch in bowel
Spew forth in AM
 
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Crap.

Edit: Not a minimalist haiku, just a postal fuckup, Perdita
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Romeo and Juliet

Italian teen girlie pops cherry after fête
Cum, night, cum; is it a plane, a lark?
No, it's superboy Romeo; all lights out.
 
Re: Tony and Cleo

MathGirl said:
Dear Perdita, That summed it up perfectly. Why even bother to read Cliff's Notes?
Click to expand...
MG, I'm impressed. Did you really read the play, or watch the Burton/Taylor melodrama? Actually, I love their film, their personae at the time matched the main characters, though not so exquisitely as Sh're wrote them.

big sis, Perdita ;)
 
My man is so strange
Drinks Crown Royal all night long
Then tries to fuck me

What a funny joke
But, I get a nice long poke (sorry for the rhyme)
I get off a lot (he does not... darn, there I go again)

Giving up.
Tipsy Wantonica:rose:
 
King Lear

Three daughters' love is tested; two lose.
King becomes fool, good girl is hanged.
Howl times five; rats and dogs live on.
 
MathGirl said:
Dear GL,
You're really having some difficulty with this, aren't you? Just when I thought you had it nailed, you come up with a sixteen syllable haiku.
MG
Ps. Didn't think I'd count, did you?
Pps.
Poor Gabriel Lee
he tries so hard but cannot
get hang of Jap pome
Click to expand...
It's seventeen syllables if you talk proper, like wot I do.

What's this 5-7-5 thing? Not more rules?
 
Gabriel_Lee said:
What's this 5-7-5 thing? Not more rules?
Click to expand...
Bugger haiku rules.
Why do I have to count stuff?
That not poetry.

Note: Poetry = 3 syllables, for people who speak proper.
 
perdita said:
King Lear

Three daughters' love is tested; two lose.
King becomes fool, good girl is hanged.
Howl times five; rats and dogs live on.
Click to expand...
And that's much more than 17 syllables. Am I being picked on?

Suspiciously

GL
 
Favoritism

Originally posted by Gabriel_Lee And that's much more than 17 syllables. Am I being picked on?
Click to expand...
Dear GL,
Yes. Keep trying, though.

Pertida has a la carte blanche here. Anyone who can summarize a Shakespeare play in less than thirty syllables of doggerel must be given plenty of slack.
MG

Feel poem coming on
Everybody should stand back
Send for more Charmin
 
Maths, that's one of the nicest things ever said of me, to do with my brain anyway. I feel quite authoritative, I may even try bitching later on.

luv, Perdita
 
Carmen

Gypsy dark-eyed wh’ore rolls cigarettes
Flirts rough with soldier and toreador
Sings a lot, fucks, dies free and clear.
 
AM haiku excretion

So sad this morning
Feel lost, bereft, without hope
Out of cereal

Oh joy! Heart is light
Soar on wings of happiness
Neighbor has Wheaties

KM heap pissed off
Her bottom seem badly chapped
Rides cotton pony?
 
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