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Old 07-28-2003, 11:47 PM   #1
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being taken

I recently watched a classic porn movie called Sex World. The basic plot of the movie is that Sex World is like a resort where couple and singles can go to secretly have their fantasies fulfilled.

For the most part it is an excellent film that actually has a storyline that modern suck-n-fuck films of today lack... but I digress.

One of the plot lines follows a couple who have lost zest in there sex life, The man is too soft and gentle, and the women wants more assertiveness and aggression. The womans fantasy is pretty much a rape fantasy where she gets smacked around a little and is taken by force.

Now, being a lover and not a fighter in bed, the concept of such brute force is totally alien to me.

So the question is: Are rape fantasies for real? If so whats the appeal? I can understand BDSM and a whole lot of other things but I just can't wrap my head around the actual idea of a rape fantasy.
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Old 07-28-2003, 11:54 PM   #2
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Rape fantasies are in deed for real. Most people call it consentual rape when they do it. My husband and I have done it, but usually during a role play session. We're a bit of an odd pair, in that we role play out the same set of characters that we've had for like 5 years now. They started out from a role play game, all of them, and we'd just take em to bed with us. Some got along, some didn't. The ones that didn't were the must fun to play in bed. I digress. Consentual rape usually isn't brutal, at least not how we do it.

It's more of the women struggling and saying no, but responding freely. The man usually isn't as hard as a rapist would be, etc.

It's something that usually can be done fairly easily, or evolve over time from just getting a bit rough, to doing it.
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Old 07-29-2003, 12:11 AM   #3
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i like the idea of being taken by force...... in an extremely trusting relationship.... my current lover is the only man that i have even revealed these fantasies to....

i trust him with my emotions and my body .

but , my idea of "rape" is for him to show me his strength...i like to struggle and exhaust myself pitting my power against his..... i like when he grabs my hair.....forces me into whatever position he wants to take me...... roughly grabs my breasts....kissing me hard, just thrusting his tongue into me.... there is a lot of wrestling and struggling.......he talks roughly and tells me what i'm going to do, and i of course am talking tough and screaming no.

i like him to force my legs apart....and jab his cock into me..........if i'm on my knees, i like him to smack my ass hard............. as i tire and struggle less, his caresses become soft and gentle......i just love being exhausted and overcome by him...

i do not want to be hit .....and / or degraded.
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Old 07-29-2003, 12:25 AM   #4
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When it comes to rape as a fantasy, I don't believe it is really rape a woman wants, but the feeling of being overpowered and made to submit. The bit about being smacked around confuses me. I'll take a spanking any day, but can't understand allowing any smacking around, if you mean on the face, etc. Although, some people get turned on by things I could never fathom.

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Old 07-29-2003, 12:32 AM   #5
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Its very true, check out the BDSM's "your ultimate fantasy" thread.
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Old 07-29-2003, 01:03 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by BlueSugar
Its very true, check out the BDSM's "your ultimate fantasy" thread.
Thanks for the info to the thread, BlueSugar. It must really depend (as does everything) on the person and past experiences. As a woman who has been both raped and beaten, I would not wish that on someone. Yet, I do have my own kinks. Therefore, to each his/her own, and have fun with your quirks (fetishes, fantasies)!

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P.S. I do like being man-handled by my guy every now and then...
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Old 07-29-2003, 01:25 AM   #7
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welcome... i just noticed that it was a theme on the other board so i share. I don't like when people post their Q on every board, but I do like when they mention that something that is parallel or related to another thread in one of the threads that it is similar to. Have fun Some of them are light play others are definetly more rough.
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Old 07-29-2003, 01:31 AM   #8
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Thanks for your insight. In the movie the women was actually smacked (or appeared to be smacked) in the face and it was quite an unexpected event.

Being a guy I have been subjected to a lot of conflicting information as to what a women likes. Being married has allowed me to test the waters in regaurds to sexual play and I have learned that what a women likes, and what a woman wants, are two very seperate things.

I would like to chat more about this but I am really really sleepy right now.

But I will leave you with a couple more questions. What is so appealling about being taken? Is it the pleasure of not knowing whats going to happen next, or is it the element of fear? Is fear involved at all?

p.s. BlueSugar I did a seach but my computer is being dumb tonight. perhaps most my questions will be answered there.
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Old 07-29-2003, 01:51 AM   #9
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just go to the bdsm board and search around for the thread "your ultimate fantasy" it has 3 pages to it, and is on the first page the last time i checked. i believe your answers are answered there and more so.
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sometimes I can hear the heavy breathing through the PM window... makes my skin crawl.
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Old 07-29-2003, 06:24 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by y=mx+b
Being a guy I have been subjected to a lot of conflicting information as to what a women likes. Being married has allowed me to test the waters in regaurds to sexual play and I have learned that what a women likes, and what a woman wants, are two very seperate things.
I'll just point out that you've tested and learned what YOUR woman likes and wants. Be careful generalizing much beyond that point. That said, you're correct, in my experience, that often women (and men, for that matter) "want" something, and then once they have it, decide they don't like it nearly as much as they expected.

Quote:
What is so appealling about being taken? Is it the pleasure of not knowing whats going to happen next, or is it the element of fear? Is fear involved at all?
I'll summarize a bit from previous threads on the topic; a quick search should lead you to them. Part of the appeal for some women IS the unexpected. I haven't heard anyone express an enjoyment of actual fear. All rape fantasies I've heard described are contingent upon a very secure, trusting, and loving relationship.

Most of the women I've seen post on the subject cite the loss of responsibility for the action as their turn on. Especially for women who feel guilty about enjoying sex or trying new activities, a rape fantasy means they are not responsible for what happened. Thus, they can try something they would otherwise revile, perhaps enjoy it, and not have to feel guilty for requesting or initiating it.

For some people, myself included, part of the appeal is the taboo nature of force and control. In modern egalitarian society, using force to get your way, exerting control over another person, making them do what YOU want regardless of THEIR desires is highly unacceptable, especially in a man-dominating-woman setting. The rape fantasy, when enacting within a very trusting, caring relationship, is a safe way to explore and exorcise such desires.

It will be CRITICALLY important that your relationship is absolutely trusting and rock-solid caring before attempting this kind of play. Talk about it beforehand.
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Old 07-29-2003, 09:40 AM   #11
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For me, a rape fantasy is all about being forced to enjoy and submit to my lover's power and strength. It's about giving up control and letting whatever happen, happen. It's being able to freely revel in acts that may cause you to normally cringe... and fall almost into a different persona, saying or doing things I wouldn't normally do.

That said, this is a fantasy of mine, however I have never acted on it. Or really even shared it with a lover. Sure I have had a couple of lovers who knew I like to be a little submissive at times, being held down or whatever, but my personality is so strong that I usually don't say, "Hey, I want you to force yourself on me... don't stop, no matter how hard I fight, unless I say the word, 'avacodo'. And do whatever your naughty thoughts lead you to..." Reason being that I would really really have to have tons of trust to let that happen... and to be honest, I only trust when it's been earned... I don't do like most, and trust someone until given a reason not to.

Maybe I gave you some insight I don't know.

But this fantasy line is a Huge turn on for me... I am horny after just reading through this thread... go figure.
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Old 07-29-2003, 09:55 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by y=mx+b
Thanks for your insight. In the movie the women was actually smacked (or appeared to be smacked) in the face and it was quite an unexpected event.
[snip]
But I will leave you with a couple more questions. What is so appealling about being taken? Is it the pleasure of not knowing whats going to happen next, or is it the element of fear? Is fear involved at all?
Speaking from a personal perspective, I rather enjoy getting slapped across the face...but that's just me. (Related thread in BDSM Talk: Face Slapping) There's also another thread called Punching, kicking, etc. in D/s... that is probably going to be more alarming to those of you who aren't as familiar with the D/s lifestyle.

Yes, fear is involved in my rape scenes. It is the total domination - physical and mental. Not only not knowing what's going to happen next (although that can often be easily predicted), but not being able to stop it.
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Old 07-29-2003, 10:34 AM   #13
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Sorry for generalizing I truly mean not to. I am also sorry for being Mr. 20 questions. But for those who engage in consensual rape, do you make plans the night before? Or do you rely on the suprise of spontaneity?

P.S. Gilly Bean , Sporty , Wantonica , BlueSugar , DuckLover , lilpriss , and Etoile This is really shedding light on the subject and I appreciate all of your wonderful knowledge on this subject
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Old 07-29-2003, 11:31 AM   #14
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This IS my ultimate fantasy! mmmmmm, starts out me being sound asleep in my warm, safe comfortable bed. My attacker breaks in, he has a mask over his face. Grabs me, rips my clothing off (there MUST be ripping of clothing) forces me into position. Ties me up then has his way with me...... which usually ends up with some great anal sex! I have yet to live out this fantasy. My current lover is WAY too gentle. And while a good hard spanking would turn me on immensly - I don't think I could go for the face slapping (too much like my marriage I guess!)

There was a pretty good thread on here about how to get your s/o to be this aggressive - at least once in awhile. It just makes mine feel uncomfortable.. ohwell - I'll just have to keep trying! lol (practice practice!)
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Old 07-29-2003, 12:31 PM   #15
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My fantasy is to come home from my second job late at night with the house dark. I would think the kids and my husband is in bed. Then As I come in I am grabbed and gagged. Then forced to have sex. Why? Why not the forced part is fun it so it the idea that some one would want me so much that they would do something like that. Makes me feel sexy!
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Old 07-29-2003, 12:34 PM   #16
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mmmm, I like the gagged part! I might have to ad that to my fantasy! lol
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Old 07-29-2003, 12:49 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by DuckLover

Most of the women I've seen post on the subject cite the loss of responsibility for the action as their turn on. Especially for women who feel guilty about enjoying sex or trying new activities, a rape fantasy means they are not responsible for what happened. Thus, they can try something they would otherwise revile, perhaps enjoy it, and not have to feel guilty for requesting or initiating it.

Yeah, that. And the idea that you are so sexy, so irresistible, that the man's desire is overwhelming and he has to have you. You know, cheap romance novel stuff. ;-) That's why they sell so well.

I like the sheer physicality of it--I wink at my husband and run. His eyes light up and he chases me. By the time he bears me struggling off to bed, both of us are thoroughly worked up and panting, which gets things rolling fast. We don't have to plan in the least, but that's because we've already discussed it so many times and know just what to do.

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Old 07-29-2003, 03:52 PM   #18
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My man and I play this out on a regular basis. I have a take on it, from a very personal perspective.

I am never truly hurt. Sore, maybe, and perhaps I have a few bruises. I love the feeling of being held down, tied up, forced to take whatever he gives me...especially I don't know what's coming. It might be his hand across my ass, his cock piercing me before my body is ready, being forced to suck him off...I just don't know, but the POINT is, he's completely taking the power from me. I have no choice but to completely submit. I can bitch and whine and beg, and the response might be a fuck just the way I want it, or it might be a slap across the face before he fucks me in a way that is entirely opposite of what I was begging for.

Taking the power over my own body and giving it to someone I trust completely is a thrill beyond anything I can describe. It's heady, it's a rush stronger than adrenaline. It's a violent rending of all that I was brought up to believe...that good girls don't like rough sex, that women have to be in control of themselves, and even that fucking like animals is wrong. Those are things that were fed to me on regular basis as I grew up in a very strict and subdued household.

It's like saying...fuck all that is expected and acceptable. I want to be forced to spread my legs and come until I can't any more. And if he wants to take his pleasure from me, that is all the more wonderful. But the key element is trust. I believe with deep trust, any sensual and sexual act is acceptable. Without trust, there is a line that can be crossed, and it can become rape in the truest sense of the word.

I trust him to not take it too far. I trust him to not actually hurt me. And I also trust that he knows when no really DOES mean no. When I utter that little code word, everything stops. EVERYTHING. And since I trust him with my body, I can let go with him and allow all my worst fantasies come true.

The thrill is in the complete letting go and giving in. It's a luxury that I don't have otherwise. I have kids...a profession that takes a lot of my time...and a household to maintain. I have to be in control of things around me. But when we're in bed, I can relinquish that...and it's a mental release that is more powerful than any physical release I have ever found.

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Old 07-29-2003, 06:13 PM   #19
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Wow this has been very educational to me. I still have one question that has gone pretty much unanswered.

Do you make plans for it before it is to happen, or are you taken totally by suprise?
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Old 07-29-2003, 06:16 PM   #20
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What sheath said.

Nothing gets me hotter than pure primal testosterone-driven violence. To see it burning in his eyes. To feel his muscles clenching, preparing to rip me apart if I don't give in to his need. To listen to my own cries and know that although he hears them too, he will not heed them.

I get hurt, I get scared--sometimes a lot. I don't know the extents to which he will go with my body before he is satisfied. I don't stage them. It's entirely up to him. I don't want him to try and make me wet beforehand or to try and make me come during or to cuddle with me immediately afterwards. Those are all entirely counterproductive.

It's never been out of anything but desires I have seen in myself--not simply to submit, but to have my submission rendered irrelevant. He knows he could have me anytime he wants, and yet he still chooses to take me. That's what I crave.
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Old 07-29-2003, 06:22 PM   #21
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Wow, lots of nice descriptions. I too have a lot of forced sex fantasies. But I think it's really, really important to state that just because a woman fantasizes about it does NOT mean she actually wants it to happen. I think some men miss that distinction and think women want to be raped. Uh-uh, no way.

That being said: I love the loss of control and also the loss of responsibility. The responsibility part is similar to control but somewhat different, if someone takes your power from you in some ways you're no longer responsible for behaving like a "lady," screaming and struggling are okay, and somehow this really sets off orgasms for me.

I like that it is completely uncomplicated. It's fucking, raw and animalistic. It's just hot. mmmm...

But, like I said, for fantasy or role-play only!
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Old 07-29-2003, 06:42 PM   #22
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Sometimes we'll talk about it the day before, sometimes we'll just talk about it for months or weeks.
He and I both enjoy the roleplaying and the rough/rape/dominant/submissive/being taken sex... it is a part of us, and a part of our sex life.
Most of the time it'll just happen, and I like that, adds to the moment that way.
Or other times he'll be rough and tease me till I cry, then make my bottom red hot with spanking... and the whole time hes telling me that he wants to take me, what he is going to do to my body, what he wants to do with my body, he wants to hear me scream, other name calling and if he wants a response I usually can only whimper but he'll spank a "yes" out of me or what not, or I'll fight against him (usually futile anyway but part of the fun) and it'll go on and on till he can't take it anymore and makes me either beg or he just takes me.
This usually leaves him and I drained and tired, and we'll relax and breath and cool down, and have pillow talk sometimes. BUt usually we'll just talk about sex openly with each other, and in the beginning we would talk about thigns that turned us on, and we would as each other if we could be rougher or do another position .... the best is discussing dreams or a story/porno we saw and said "hey... what do you think about this..."
It used to be about communication, and planning, now we just know each other.

And on the occasions where we don't want to rough it up, we say so and change the mood/mind setting and do something else with each others desires in mind.
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sometimes I can hear the heavy breathing through the PM window... makes my skin crawl.
LONG WINDOW STRETCHING SIG LINES OFFICALLY PISS ME OFF
friend: you are not responsible for our fetishes, nor for the fact that we turn to you to help us fulfill them
me: i like it. i'm the go to person no one talks about unless its whispered.



The Blank Manual...How do you like your Eggs?... My Very Own Sexpert Website!! Check it out!!

My Picture Thread ... ... BDSM Snail Mail ... Dear X, ... ...Ask A Porn Shop Retail Associate Anything!

ASK ME anything anything anything !!! Totally Anonymously www.formspring.me/sexpertjaneblow
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Old 07-29-2003, 09:05 PM   #23
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Thanks for sharing BlueSugar! It sounds like the two of you have a healthy and enjoyable arrangement! (I'm assuming, however, that you have a "safe word" predetermined in case the spanking et al. become too much for you.)
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Old 07-29-2003, 09:30 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by y=mx+b
Wow this has been very educational to me. I still have one question that has gone pretty much unanswered.

Do you make plans for it before it is to happen, or are you taken totally by suprise?
Depends, really. He seems to know when I'm getting furiously horny, and those are the times when he just comes right out with it. Like out of the blue, suddenly grabbing me and growling, "On your knees, bitch. Now!" And if I struggle, I get thrown to the floor anyway, and then the real fun begins.

Or he walks in on me while I'm dressing...or showering...and within seconds, he's slammed into me, with his hand over my mouth to keep me from screaming. Sudden, with no warning.

Of course, if I am not in the mood for it...I mean, not even CLOSE...he will know. He always does. Don't ask me how.

Sometimes we talk about it. Like today...I told him that I had been craving, for days, to just be tied to the bed and fucked until I couldn't breathe. Just used as a fucktoy, for hours on end. We talked about it a little, and he hinted about the satin ropes I have tucked away in my drawer. So...they will be in very easy reach this weekend.

We go through stages. We might not do rape scenes for months at a time, then do nothing else for four or five days. It just depends on our general mood.

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Old 07-29-2003, 09:51 PM   #25
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In lust

Quote:
Originally posted by BlueSugar
Sometimes we'll talk about it the day before, sometimes we'll just talk about it for months or weeks.
He and I both enjoy the roleplaying and the rough/rape/dominant/submissive/being taken sex... it is a part of us, and a part of our sex life.
Most of the time it'll just happen, and I like that, adds to the moment that way.
Or other times he'll be rough and tease me till I cry, then make my bottom red hot with spanking... and the whole time hes telling me that he wants to take me, what he is going to do to my body, what he wants to do with my body, he wants to hear me scream, other name calling and if he wants a response I usually can only whimper but he'll spank a "yes" out of me or what not, or I'll fight against him (usually futile anyway but part of the fun) and it'll go on and on till he can't take it anymore and makes me either beg or he just takes me.
This usually leaves him and I drained and tired, and we'll relax and breath and cool down, and have pillow talk sometimes. BUt usually we'll just talk about sex openly with each other, and in the beginning we would talk about thigns that turned us on, and we would as each other if we could be rougher or do another position .... the best is discussing dreams or a story/porno we saw and said "hey... what do you think about this..."
It used to be about communication, and planning, now we just know each other.

And on the occasions where we don't want to rough it up, we say so and change the mood/mind setting and do something else with each others desires in mind.

OMG. I think I'm in lust....

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Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
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