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Old 12-23-2003, 03:10 AM   #126
wishfulthinking
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Hi again, part three of Innocent Pawn is up today. Thankyou for the wonderful feedback for part 2!

This is the part where I say it is great, please vote, blah blah. But it sucks. Just how lame it is I can't tell, because when I read through it, I'm looking for mistakes and not getting a feel for the story. So I'll wait until I get a few "you suck" comments before giving it a rewrite! I'll just skim over the list of volunteer editors in the mean time.

Edit: I'm adding this little extra bit to say, out of my 3 stories, this one is doing the best, even though I like it the least. Go figure.
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Old 12-23-2003, 03:12 AM   #127
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Smile My first story

Hi, everyone. I just started writing last week, at the urging of one of my online friends. It is something that I have wanted to do for a long time.
My first story Gene's Birthday Suprise is still up in the new story section, and my second should be up in the next day or two. My first story started out as a fantasy, but soon took on it's own life, heh.
The second one gives more background on some of the characters and adds to the first one.
I am currently working on my third and I should be submitting it within the week, as long as I am not too busy with other things.
I would appreciate hearing what anyone has to say about my storys and my writing. I can see myself improving with each one. But, there are things about them I could not see, until someone pointed them out to me.
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Old 12-23-2003, 03:53 AM   #128
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Old 12-23-2003, 04:55 AM   #129
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Thank you, I will remember that.
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Old 12-23-2003, 01:06 PM   #130
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My first written exploration into the world of BDSM. This story has a slightly different flavor though. At least I think it does.

Chapter 1 is more of an introduction of all the main characters. Kind of a prologue I guess. So it dabbles in D/s but doesn't have a full blown scene. Chapter 2 however...

Anyway, here's the links. And as always your inputs and feedback are much appreciated.

Hugger

Four Corners Society, Ch. 1

Four Corners Society, Ch. 2
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Old 12-23-2003, 10:45 PM   #131
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My latest tale, "Taking Dani's Place," is now posted to the Incest category:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/sh....php?id=121159

Comments always welcome!

Sabledrake
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Old 12-24-2003, 01:24 PM   #132
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My second story

My second story is up in group sex, it tells of the events in my first story from the viewpoint of one of the characters, and also gives more background on how the four people came to be together. It also adds what happened after they went to the hottub, and mentions the woman, who is the center of my third story.


I was hoping to have my third story submitted this week, but when I had it about 75% done I read a post that changed how I write. (thank you dr_mabeuse) I am now in the process of rewriting, what I have written so far, and I should have it up next week.

In the mean time feel free to read the two that I have and let me know what you think. I prefer an honest opinion, if there is something I can improve on, let me know.

here are the links to them:
Gene's Birthday Suprise http://www.literotica.com/stories/sh....php?id=120560
Tanya's Move http://www.literotica.com/stories/sh....php?id=121228

Last edited by Fluidinmotion : 12-25-2003 at 06:18 AM.
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Old 12-28-2003, 10:52 AM   #133
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Dear Mom and Dad

Dear Mom and Dad I thought this was just a minor humor piece while I tried to find the time for my increasingly ambitious works but the viewing and the voting have been hot and heavy this morning so I offer it to all for a quick smile. It's in the form of a brief letter home from a rather dense young lady. Comments?
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Old 12-28-2003, 05:41 PM   #134
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Dear Mom and Dad

Barnaby,
Mom and Dad was a gas! But like I said in my feedback, I'd never want to get a letter like that from my own daughter.
Jenny
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Old 12-28-2003, 11:59 PM   #135
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My new story is up titled Conquered: Spoils of War.

It is in the sci-fi category, but pure filth (a stroke story if you will) about a king deflowering a new slave before his generals.

Cheers, WT

(Also, Innocent Pawn Ch.04 is just getting the finishing touches, so should be up any time in the next 2 weeks.)
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Last edited by wishfulthinking : 12-29-2003 at 12:05 AM.
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Old 12-29-2003, 10:21 AM   #136
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Charlevoix Chapter 8

Chapter 8 of “The House on Charlevoix Street” is now posted, in which Abigail is required to seduce a brilliant young violinist, and in so doing learns something surprising about the Doctor’s feelings for her. Abigail continues to grow into her sexuality as she tries to understand it and to reconcile her own self-respect with her strong feelings of sexual submission.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/sh....php?id=121992

I’ve wanted to do a piece using music as a theme for some time, and I’m not quite satisfied with the way it comes off in this chapter. Music and sex have so much in common, I think I could write a sex scene entirely in musical terms, but I D

I’ve wanted to do a piece using music as a theme for some time, but I’m not quite satisfied with the way it comes off in this chapter. Music and sex have so much in common, I think I could write a sex scene entirely in musical terms. Unfortunately, this wasn’t really the place to do it. So what we have is a situation when Abigail seduces/is seduced by the young Maestro, and then is witness to a three-way BDSM debauching of her friend Virginia in which the violinist uses his bow on the bound woman.

The story starts a bit slowly because I took pains to make this a stand-alone chapter. Therfore there’s an explanation at the start of just what has been going on between Abigail and the Doctor. I’m hopelful that this is the penultimate chapter in the series, and that the next should close their story.

---dr.M.
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Old 12-31-2003, 12:14 AM   #137
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Talking New Story

Greetings All,

I have two stories one is brand new and would invite any and all to read and see what you think. Thanks alot

niyah2:eek:

Him

Our Story
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Old 01-08-2004, 05:49 PM   #138
Black Tulip
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Stupid double post. Way past my bedtime.
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Old 01-08-2004, 05:51 PM   #139
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Talking The Amazons are finished

Part 3 of my story about the Amazon warriors is up. In my opinion that wraps it up.

Feedback will be very welcome.

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Old 01-09-2004, 12:39 AM   #140
SouthSkyEyes
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Greetings all ...

SouthSkyEyes here ... long time poster, first time reader ...

Actually, seriously, I stumbled onto Literotica just last week. Please be kind, I've got this terrible headache having recently crawled out from under this big rock, you know.

I've submitted three writings, one poem and two short tantalizing stories. First one's published, the poem. One story should be published the next day or so. The other ... it appears to be lost somewhere at Literotica.com, perhaps fell to the floor, gathering footprints somewhere between the group sex and toy departments.

I truly welcome your critiques / votes, especially at the moment for the poem (this one's a short light whimsical piece), "My Favorite things," written for my wife (yes, by me), as a Valentines day message.

My Favorite Things

Looking forward to corresponding with you.

SouthSkyEyes

Update ... five days and one big fat 'humbling' later ...

Arrrrrrgh!!!!!! After waiting, a week, I received notice today my stories must be revised, to align with the dialogue formatting guidelines expected on Literotica. It happens these two stories are not dialogue driven.

But rules are for our own good, in support of quality and good taste for all, I reminded myself, as I rummaged through the pics recently posted on a Literotica photo thread titled, more or less, "Let me see you masturbating while surfing for porn." (Please, if you would, at least pretend to have no curiosity as to why I am aware such a thread exists).

So I changed the two stories, resubmitted them and now wait, not so patiently, anxious as all heck, actually. If I don't get feedback from someone soon I might .... well who knows, but hopefully my wife will appreciate what happens.

So ... I'll continue reading the works of others (if you've posted here recently and haven't heard from me yet, you will). For the time being I'll provide feedback privately, out of respect for the inherent fairness of welcoming / withstanding your critiques as openly and honestly as I offer to you.

Sincerely,

SouthSkyEyes

Last edited by SouthSkyEyes : 01-14-2004 at 10:14 PM.
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Old 01-11-2004, 12:23 AM   #141
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Getting longer (my stories that is)

This is my first time on this list and also my first story to pass more than one page in length. I usually write the story, and then don't end it, which is starting to tick off my readers.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/sh....php?id=123407

This is chapter five of my sci-fi Champions of Terra. Please take a look if you are at all interested. feedback would be greatly appreciated!
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Old 01-12-2004, 03:18 AM   #142
wishfulthinking
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Innocent Pawn Ch.04 is up. Isabella, after learning that Leonn is planning to use her for revenge against her father by impregnating her, tries to escape. She doesn't succeed, and receives gentle punishment in the dungeon, which is a turning point for their growing feelings for each other.

I say gentle punishment, because this is a non-consent story, not a bdsm piece, so I just thought I would warn people because the word 'dungeon' may be misleading.

Happy reading, and any suggestions, criticisms and comments are welcome.

Cheers, WT
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Old 01-12-2004, 09:13 AM   #143
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Hey everyone, my new story is up.
John's Confession. Please let me know what you think.
Here is the link http://www.literotica.com/stories/sh....php?id=123733
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Old 01-13-2004, 04:08 PM   #144
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I have three new stories up. They are all doing worse than I expected, so I would appreciate some of you reading them and telling me via feedback what the heck is wrong with them, lol.

I think I know the reason for the low votes on the BDSM story since I did it in second person, and I know alot of people hate reading that point of view.

You can find the links to the stories in my siggy. Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read them and send feedback.

CM

Last edited by Lady in Disguise : 01-14-2004 at 12:40 PM.
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Old 01-14-2004, 12:34 PM   #145
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Final Chapter of "Charlevoix Street"

The ninth and final chapter of "The House on Charlevoix Street" is now posted:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/sh....php?id=124036

This brings the story of the Doctor and Abigail to a close, for now at least, and it's now on to something new.

---dr.M.
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Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the
milk of Paradise...

Lit Stories: The Cabinet of Dr. Mabeuse...
Even more... T h e W e b s i t e
~The Love That Is Not Madness Is Not Love~


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Old 01-15-2004, 07:11 PM   #146
SadieRose
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Lovedemonlover

Quote:
Originally posted by Alex756
Well its not that new, was a May story, but I'm sticking with the concept for another installment slightly differant, so thoguht I'd throw it in the thread.

My little erotic horror short:

http://www.literotica.com:81/stories...y.php?id=92151

Its called Demonology : The Cowboy

The demonology since its part of a seris I'm doing about demons, the cowboy becasue thats what he is.

It s a little short about a demon, well actually half demon, picking up a little pray in a 'cowboy' bar, you know the kind in a city where few have probbaly even seen a horse

I'd love comments.

Alexandra


That was a terrific tale Alex. I love non-human characters in erotic fiction and Mark is very cool and tremendously sexy.

Keep 'em cumming!

*grin*
xx.Sadie
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“Well,” Jabez purred appreciatively. “That one’s smitten, for sure! What did he do to ruffle your feathers?”

“It’s a long story,” Rayne said, through clenched teeth.

“Would it have anything to do with you being caught up by the stiletto heel in a tram line dressed as a very pretty girl?”

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Old 01-15-2004, 08:10 PM   #147
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Undead Rule!

I have a bit of a fetish for Undead characters right now. I've always had sympathy for the dark side of the force, so this is a bit of an outlet for that emotion.

The Rayne Wylde stories have been with me for a few years now but they've been written in bits and pieces so you'll have to bear with me if they don't always happen in chronological order. They centre upon a band called Whipsnade and three of its main protagonists; Singer, Rayne Wylde; Drummer Simon Hathaway, Wylde's best friend since childhood but never his lover; and their manager Matty Greening, who is also Wylde's ex.

They follow Ray through the horrors of his pre-Undead youth into his teens 'On the Game' in London and finally to his date with Destiny at the hands of a 3,500 year old Vampire known as The Everman, who has his own personal reasons for wanting to get under Rayne's skin.

I love character psychology, so Ray has a tendency towards submission when he's around stronger men (or women), as a result of events in his youth. However he is quite dominant and forceful with less experienced lovers.

The "Habit..." storyline centres on how he became Undead and the effect it had on his life and the lives of those who love him.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/s...y.php?id=120290

http://www.literotica.com/stories/s...y.php?id=120295

http://www.literotica.com/stories/s...y.php?id=123989


"Balham..." is a vignette written about his experiences as a London rent-boy when he was 19.

http://www.literotica.com:81/storie...y.php?id=118787


"Falling like Rayne" was written in Barcelona and is about power and exhibitionism, and the filming of Whipsnade's hyper-erotic "Animorous" video.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/s...y.php?id=109978


Warning. These are not gentle stories. Those with an aversion to occasional blood and pain (physical and emotional) might be advised to look away now.

xx.Sadie
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“Well,” Jabez purred appreciatively. “That one’s smitten, for sure! What did he do to ruffle your feathers?”

“It’s a long story,” Rayne said, through clenched teeth.

“Would it have anything to do with you being caught up by the stiletto heel in a tram line dressed as a very pretty girl?”

Sadie's Stuff
http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions
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Old 01-18-2004, 09:57 PM   #148
SouthSkyEyes
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Question Desiring, needing - offering, committing

In brief:

> First of two stories finally up.
> Links at bottom of this message.
> I allocate time to read the works of others - I will read your stories and provide feedback to you.

---------------

New stories:

Of two friends and 30 fingers:
Cat: Group Sex (Couple's massage of friend turns sexual)
Will you assume the role of Craig, Susan or their gender ambiguous friend?

Shopping for that special gift:
Cat: Toys (man buys toy for wife)
The humerous story of my embarassing shopping excursion to buy my wife a ... well, you've probably guessed by now. But things turned into the surreal when Sir O'gate joined in that evening.

I welcome and value your feedback, especially your critique offered without concern over how much I'll appreciate receiving it.

Few spelling errors have already been pointed out - still working of fluency of read / breadth of enjoyment.

What did / didn't you enjoy? What would have made it a more tantalizing / enjoyable read?

In gratitude,

SouthSkyEyes


New Story Links

Of two friends and 30 fingers

Shopping for that special gift
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Old 01-20-2004, 12:36 AM   #149
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Kimiko Larsen

Kimiko Larsen

This went up about a week ago, but I wanted to post it here simply because I haven't received any feedback on it whatsoever -- which is a first. It's a very short sex scene of a cross-national couple trying to get pregnant. I'm thinking it might have done better in the "Loving Wives," rather than the "Interracial" category. Hard to say. Thoughts? Flames? I'd love to hear it. And don't be afraid to ask for feedback on your own story.

Arigato-

-M@
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Old 01-20-2004, 12:37 AM   #150
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Double post, sorry.

Last edited by SpaceToast : 01-20-2004 at 12:40 AM.
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