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Old 08-11-2016, 03:41 PM   #1
silentcrs is offline
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 2
Muscular young woman story

Seeking feedback on a domination story about a muscular young woman. It is based on the Amy Hardstone character from amysconquest.com. I realize this is not everyone's cup of tea, but I would be appreciative of constructive criticism.

Story: https://www.literotica.com/s/amys-conquest-ss4-ch-01
Author: silentcrs
Genre: fetish
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Old 08-13-2016, 03:21 AM   #2
CompletedLeafie is offline
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 21
I love stories about big women dominating small men. Only thing that I would recommend is proof reading it, it has a few grammatical errors and a couple of wrong sentence structures. Apart from that you are in for a good start!

I might be slightly biased, because I love that this sort of stuff though, and would love nothing more than to see more people writing about this kind of fetish.

There are also a couple of authors you could draw some inspirations from, like submissiveromantic and a lot of others are on a site called Diana the valkyrie.
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Old 08-19-2016, 06:26 PM   #3
Highly inappropriate
Iceprincess12's Avatar
Iceprincess12 is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Between fantasy and reality...where nightmares play
Posts: 25,570
My apologies if that isn't supposed to be funny but that is a great read. I am not familiar with Amy Hardstone, but you did a great job with this character. So much of who she is is tied up with her physical attributes. When I started the story and I read voluminous breasts, I rolled my eyes thinking it was another story where a woman is her breast size. As I read more, I realized the physical is necessary to add to the story. I love how her biceps are dangerously powerful, it brings a very defined image of this girl that carries to the end.

The only criticism I would have is because Amy is physical, I would like more emotion from the other characters to more sharply define them. I would have liked more protest from the principal, more horror as he realized the inevitability of what she was going to do. It would have made her more powerful to show that even strong emotion doesn't stand a chance against her physical size. All in all, a very fun read.
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Old Today, 07:17 AM   #4
silentcrs is offline
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 2
Added a new chapter. Again, curious about feedback.

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