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Old 07-21-2016, 06:08 PM   #1
hailhydra
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Join Date: May 2016
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Any feedback greatly appreciated

Wrote the story about 2 months ago and the ratings for them was fairly mediocre. I didn't really care about feedback after I wrote it since I wasn't interested in writing any more, but now, I have regained my interest in writing. I feel like I didn't get a lot of constructive comments on the story(2 chapters) so I would appreciate any feedback about what I did right and what I can improve on.

https://www.literotica.com/s/price-f...rst-time-pt-01
https://www.literotica.com/s/price-f...rst-time-pt-02

Story is placed in nonconsent but it's also a fetish story focused on denial.
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Old 07-22-2016, 08:55 AM   #2
Bramblethorn
Mallory Heart Surgeon.
 
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I could nitpick the grammar a little, but I think the main reason for the low ratings is simply that you're writing a story where the victim is male.

As far as I can tell, a lot of the NC/Reluc readership are there specifically for stories about women being raped by men. When they encounter a story that goes the other way, they don't just click out and move on, they foam at the mouth and vote it down.
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My latest story Riddle of the Copper Coin mixes Arabian Nights adventure with modern-day romance. Fleeing from an unwelcome suitor, and armed only with her wits, Adiba attempts to rescue a princess from the City of Jinn.

My other stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions
E-books: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/Bramblethorn
Blog: http://bramblethorn.dreamwidth.org/
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