Old 04-08-2016, 05:48 PM   #1
swingerjoe is online now
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Curious feedback

I recently submitted a story that has become my lowest-rated story to date. Only a handful of people commented, and nearly every comment was about the immorality of the main character. I'm genuinely curious to read some additional feedback from some seasoned authors and readers, so I figured I'd post a link here. If anyone wants to volunteer to give me some honest and frank feedback, I would greatly appreciate it.

The negative feedback really surprised me, as I thought it was one of my better stories. I wonder if perhaps I posted it in the wrong category, or if readers disliked the story because of the sadistic tendencies of the main character, or if the story simply isn't as interesting as I think it is.

Anyway, I've received some very valuable and constructive feedback here before, so I figure I'll go back to the well for more. Thanks in advance!

Hunter's Prey: https://www.literotica.com/s/hunters-prey
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Old 04-09-2016, 08:13 AM   #2
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It is one of you better stories

It's also what your feedback says: emotionally draining, literary, too realistic and disturbing, horrific in the bastard-protagonist like "Silence of the Lambs", and you even got the knee-jerk emotional lashing out "twisted fuck, it is all your fault you made me uncomfortable, something is wrong with you, not me" response, too. It covers most responses you could get on a story like this, so really, good work.

I only had to read the scene where Hunter rejects Dani utterly and completely without feeling any regret because it is entirely her fault because she betrayed him (no room for discussion of how she might have gotten to that point or his role in it). Then watch watch she is willing to do to stay with him. No talk, no empathy, not attempt of understanding or respect. That was painful. I have seen it many times and have been there.

Painful stories will be voted lower, because that is not what most are looking for here. It is very intelligent, very well written, and has a purpose. It is a good story, but not a feel-good story. Big difference when you might be hoping for something better than reality when you begin a work of fiction.

No real reason to be discouraged, I think you succeeded in writing a good story that evoked real responses. Your comments are good ones; your readers were really thinking and feeling when they wrote those.
Typically I write in Sci-Fi & Fantasy settings and characters are often non-human. The action runs from consent to non-consent to BDSM to group sex and more.

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My Stories

"Let me tell you the plot of every one of his damned stories. Somebody wanted something. That's the story. Mostly, they get it, too." ---Desire, Endless Nights, Neil Gaiman.

Last edited by Etaski : 04-09-2016 at 08:52 AM.
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Old 04-09-2016, 08:23 AM   #3
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This is a happy place for perverts. Unless you are writing in the non con or EH section everyone else wants a form of HEA and realism and anything dark and gritty is frowned upon regardless of talent
Yes I fucking am.

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Old 04-09-2016, 10:23 AM   #4
swingerjoe is online now
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Thanks very much. This is the type of feedback I was hoping to receive. What you've written makes perfect sense.
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Old 04-09-2016, 07:48 PM   #5
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I'm not surprised by the feedback you got. I don't have a lot of stories up, but one of my favorite bits of public feedback so far was "Your characters are vile." I thought that was great. They were supposed to be that way.

I've always worried that I would shape my writing to what the Literotica readers wanted and then lose something that was better. Lit has developed it's own community with it's own limited range of acceptability. The feedback you get from your readers is relevant to Lit, but not necessarily outside of Lit.

This isn't a good feedback on your story. I read the first few paragraphs and I thought it was interesting and (as far as I went) well written. The title made me think that it would be a BDSM or non-consent story, so I didn't read further because, like all your other readers, I didn't have to.
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Old 04-10-2016, 05:51 AM   #6
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I didn't score it. I read a few paragraphs and became bored. Learn to edit.
Fuck with me and I'll take your balls and go home.
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Old 04-10-2016, 04:50 PM   #7
Mainefiddleheads is offline
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I know how that feels. I've had a couple stories that were short on ratings but high in my own estimation and on the other hand I've been surprised by high ratings of a couple stories I did not think would be well received.

For the most part I do not pay much attention to ratings as I am writing for my own craftsmanship predominantly.
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Old 04-20-2016, 10:24 PM   #8
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different agenda's

MFH , I as a casual reader want , in the words of Maximus Decimus Meridius (Gladiator movie), "Are you not Entertained ? Is this not why you are Here ?", simply to read a good story. I think a lot of the readership , especially in the LW category, simply want a good story that they can identify with. I think a lot of the Authorship wants to, and reasonably so , to stretch their literary legs and reach for heights that their fellow learned clicks will celebrate.
To borrow from another movie business comparison, most Academy Award winning films are not Summer Blockbusters. The Academia crowd will heap praise on some artful Indy film , which the Studios fund by way of the Summertime Spiderman and Transformers et .al cash cows.
Basically it boils down to pleasing the masses or pleasing the certain few.
A personal pet peeve of mine is the Grammar Nazis. I'll give an example , recently qhml1 has posted several stories that I personally enjoyed. But 20% of the comments were on his grammatical mistakes. The backstory was that he was going through some painful health issues and I could tell a difference in his technical writing, but the stories were still able to be followed very easily. To me this was the perfect metaphor for this category and even this site. His stories all scored over 4.0 , which as you know in the LW category is equal to the red boxes in any other hub , which shows what the readership likes and craves. But there were a handful of Authors who basically filleted him in the comments. So to me , there it is .
By the way, I have read all your submissions , and have really enjoyed them (BTB1980 withstanding ! lol chuckle).
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Old 04-27-2016, 09:35 PM   #9
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You got feedback?

Must be nice.
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