Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > Story Feedback

View Poll Results: Quick and easy for those who don't wanna type.
Dude, no problems at all. Keep writing. 0 0%
You know this is a sex site, right? 0 0%
Squick, squick, squick, squick. 0 0%
Wall of text first screen! TL;DR 1 100.00%
Man, you've got so many issues, I don't know where to begin! 0 0%
I'd rather type it out to help you out. See below. 0 0%
Voters: 1. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 02-05-2016, 06:23 AM   #1
Ewobbit
Experienced
 
Ewobbit is offline
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: In between the words on the screen
Posts: 91
Request for feedback

Greetings and salutations.

I am formally requesting reviews for my submitted works. Specifically;

"Valentine Vengeance" by Ewobbit, a novella
https://www.literotica.com/s/valentine-vengeance

This is an entry in the ongoing Valentine's contest and my first accepted submission under this nom de plume.

Currently, I can not complain about the score at 4.7 with 200 votes and five pretty encouraging comments at the time of this request. Not to mention several who have added me or this story to their favorites.

HOWEVER, there have been over 3,900 views. That means that 3,700 people didn't vote or comment for some reason. Doesn't it?

It is my intent to go forward from here and continue to submit works suitable for inclusion to Literotica, three of which are currently in various stages of completion. And I would like the opportunity to learn to make each better than the last. After all, while there might be some truth that a writer should write the story they want to write, if you don't take into account the readers, then it would be much easier to just daydream and jack off, right? To that end, I would like to hear from readers, even those that can't make it past the first page for whatever reason.
__________________
They decided I was part Ewok and part Hobbit. Now, excuse me while I brush my toes.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-05-2016, 08:39 AM   #2
NOIRTRASH
Literotica Guru
 
NOIRTRASH's Avatar
 
NOIRTRASH is offline
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,711
You lost me with the opening. Too Gilligan, too Brady Bunch for me. So I didn't read the rest, score it, or leave a comment.
__________________
I don't need to climb every mountain, I climb the one's I want.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-05-2016, 10:05 AM   #3
Ewobbit
Experienced
 
Ewobbit is offline
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: In between the words on the screen
Posts: 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by NOIRTRASH View Post
You lost me with the opening. Too Gilligan, too Brady Bunch for me. So I didn't read the rest, score it, or leave a comment.
Thanks JBJ.

I admit, I'm not quite sure I followed exactly what you meant, but it was helpful to know that the opening went south and you stopped reading. I pretty much figure you mean I took too big an exposition dump on the first screen.

Thank you.
__________________
They decided I was part Ewok and part Hobbit. Now, excuse me while I brush my toes.

Last edited by Ewobbit : 02-05-2016 at 10:11 AM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-05-2016, 11:05 AM   #4
sr71plt
Literotica Guru
 
sr71plt's Avatar
 
sr71plt is online now
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mid-Atlantic, USA
Posts: 40,642
Your vote ratio is just fine already, as is the rating. Beyond that, I'm put off by self-advertising by story contestants while the contest is going on. You're soliciting those who are also in the contest. Just me, I'm sure, but I see it as unethical and a bit needy and distasteful.

That it's allowed here is just another sign to me that the contests don't have all that much to do with the quality of the entries and more to do with the American Idol approach to "winning."
__________________
______________________

Last edited by sr71plt : 02-05-2016 at 11:33 AM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-05-2016, 11:33 AM   #5
Ewobbit
Experienced
 
Ewobbit is offline
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: In between the words on the screen
Posts: 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by sr71plt View Post
Your vote ratio is just fine already, as is the rating. Beyond that, I'm put off by self-advertising by story contestants while the contest is going on. You're soliciting those who are also in the contest. Just me, I'm sure, but I see it as unethical and a bit needy.
Truthfully, I had not considered myself a serious contender for the prizes upon submission and particularly in view of the comparisons of the numbers for the other entries I read. Most of which were deservedly ranking much higher.

However, I do take your point. Although, had I stopped to consider it, I think I would have anticipated getting 1 bombed further down the ranks by more serious competitors.

But, thank you for letting me know what you thought. I will take it under advisement and consider what I can do to rectify my possible error.
__________________
They decided I was part Ewok and part Hobbit. Now, excuse me while I brush my toes.
  Reply With Quote

Old 02-05-2016, 05:57 PM   #6
le_kitty
Really Really Experienced
 
le_kitty's Avatar
 
le_kitty is online now
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 447
Hey Ewobbit!

I actually started reading this the other day when you replied to my thread (which I thought was hilarious btw!). The opening was intriguing, your use of first person was done well and I got up to page 3 (the tab is still up). Your scene setting was good and I like that it's now veering off course for the protagonist. There were some funny moments too. I'm heading off now but I'll get back to it and leave you some more thoughts then.
__________________

  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:43 AM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.