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Old 06-17-2003, 02:01 PM   #1
Etoile
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Coming Out

Feel free to share your coming out experiences here. Did you stay in the closet for a while, or did you jump right out to everyone? Are you out to some people (friends) but not others (co-workers)?

For myself, coming out isn't really a conscious thing...it's just who I am, and I just integrate it into everyday conversation by mentioning my girlfriend. Sometimes it takes people a while for the gears to click, but I've never lost friends or anything as a result. I came out to my parents over the phone, and their response was basically "so what?" I told them they were supposed to have questions, but they really didn't! I guess I was lucky in that.
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Old 06-17-2003, 02:13 PM   #2
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i don't tell anyone anything. those that know, know. those that don't, don't need to. i've been burned too many times to risk trusting on a whim. i've become very careful about opening my mouth and spewing out the fact that i'm bi.
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Old 06-17-2003, 02:23 PM   #3
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A number of my friends know I'm bi. Many in my family know too. But I don't make a point of advertising it with people I know. A few friends have shied away from me after finding out. But I figured we weren't meant to be friends in those cases. I used to hide my sexuality while still in high school, but I grew out of that after I graduated and moved on to college.
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Old 06-17-2003, 02:26 PM   #4
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*stalk*
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Old 06-17-2003, 02:28 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by Andreina
*stalk*


*stalking the stalker*
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Old 06-17-2003, 02:31 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pookie_grrl


*stalking the stalker*
im in lit-love-lust with you
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Old 06-17-2003, 02:38 PM   #7
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Lightbulb Re: Coming Out

I was 15 when I came out. First there was my best friend. It was almost by accident. We were talking on the phone and she set it down for a moment to get a soda. When she came back she said, "Oh my God, my sister's friend just hit on me". I paused for a moment and then blurted out, "Is she cute?" Again, there was another short pause and my friend said, "You're not, are you?" And I replied, "I'm not what? Lesbian? No, I'm bi." She said, "Cool" and that was the end of it. I was surprised it was over that fast and that she was "still" my firend. I guess I didn't know what to expect.

Then there was my boyfriend. He was my first "serious" boyfriend and we had already dated for most of our freshman year. It was now the summer after sophomore year and we were "back together". I told him, "There's something I have to tell you". Then I pretty much blurted it out like I had with my friend. He didn't say anything to me. Finally I asked him what was on his mind and he said, "It's either me or women". (At this time in my life, I had one "affair" with a friend as a child, but no other contact with any other female. I knew I was bi, though, and that my childhood experience was NOT a "phase", etc.) So I said, "bye". He said, "No, seriously..." I said, "I am serious. If you're going to force me to chose then you're gone". (Then that opened up a whole other can of worms and a bad time in my life...)

So, one by one I began to come out to my other friends. The rest of them took it well. By the time I was 18, we got AOL at home. From that point on, all new friends knew I was bi even before meeting me in person.

Also, around 18 or 19 my mother discovered by accident I was bi. I had a buddy list category called "Bi Women". My mother asked, "Why would you want to talk to bi women?" So I told her. She's under the belief that "if she ignores it, it'll go away"... I'll "turn" straight. As far as I know, no other family knows I am bi. Neither do co-workers. It's none of their business. (I don't closet myself on purpose, but I don't wear a bisexual name tag either.)

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Old 06-17-2003, 02:40 PM   #8
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I'm wondering if Bi's have the same coming out issues as Gay/Lesbian. Especially Bi-Females since it seems to be ever so popular nowadays.

I never even bothered any kind of coming out about the fact that I like chicks too. Before I realized there was any kind of attraction to females, I never announced to people that I was straight, so why bother doing it now? People will find out eventually if they stick around me long enough, the same way they'll figure out what type of guy I'm attracted to, or that I like crunchy peanut butter and nike sneakers. Heh.
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Old 06-17-2003, 02:54 PM   #9
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those who know that im bi know not because i told them but because they have been good enough friends to notice by themselves.
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Old 06-17-2003, 03:09 PM   #10
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I've not really come out to anyone in my family. I always figured it's not really an issue when I've not been in relationships with women. My sex life was always my business and I chose not to share with my family. I have made od handed comments that drop hints to some of my family members, but never outright admitting it.

Things have changed tho, Now I'm in a relationship with a woman. Now comes the hard part...coming out.
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Old 06-17-2003, 05:49 PM   #11
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I never really came out, it just sort of leaked out in dribs and drabs. Every time I sat down to tell anyone, they always said "Yeah, I know."

With my family, it was not an easy process for them to accept my sexuality, but eventually, they did, without a lot of overt trouble.
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Old 06-17-2003, 06:36 PM   #12
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good thread...

i came out to my mother on my sixteenth birthday by bringing home my "girlfriend". She was (and Is) awesome. She told me not long after that she thought i was lesbian with hetero tendencies. (LMAO) As is, most people of any importance to me know that i dig chicks. I have dated a few guys in my time (long enough to get my babies!!) so by definition i guess i would be "bi" but i like my mother's label alot more!!!!
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Old 06-17-2003, 07:41 PM   #13
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Basically how I came out was my parents said they were coming home from vacation on Sunday but they came home on Saturday.
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Old 06-17-2003, 07:44 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by MzChrista
Basically how I came out was my parents said they were coming home from vacation on Sunday but they came home on Saturday.
Sweet....(i wish i coulda seen their faces)

BTW...noticed you countless times on GB may i say "hello"
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Old 06-17-2003, 08:04 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by apet4you
Sweet....(i wish i coulda seen their faces)

BTW...noticed you countless times on GB may i say "hello"
Well yeah its funny now.

Hi back to you. Dont worry Im really as sweet as candy.
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Old 06-17-2003, 08:06 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by MzChrista
Dont worry Im really as sweet as candy.
Heh. Nothing's quite as sweet as cherry tho.

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Old 06-17-2003, 08:07 PM   #17
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how bout if we just call it a draw...(myself...well vanilla and chocolate work for me!!!!!!)... (luv both av's BTW...gimme some nice dreams!!!)
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Old 06-17-2003, 08:11 PM   #18
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Heh. My girl likes it so well that I'm keeping it. Tis me, after all, so why not flaunt a little bit.

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Old 06-17-2003, 08:11 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by apet4you
how bout if we just call it a draw...(myself...well vanilla and chocolate work for me!!!!!!)... (luv both av's BTW...gimme some nice dreams!!!)

Well I was gonna agree that shes probably sweeter than me, but a draw is cool.
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Old 06-17-2003, 08:12 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by SweetCherry
Heh. My girl likes it so well that I'm keeping it. Tis me, after all, so why not flaunt a little bit.


It looks damn fine to me.
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Old 06-17-2003, 08:14 PM   #21
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we are all in agreement then...cherry's ass is nice...(want one of my very own...a pic of cherry's ass) Now let's stop before we take over this thread completely....LMAO
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Old 06-18-2003, 01:26 AM   #22
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i personally like MzChrista' av, it's things like that that make me miss my ex-gf... mm she kissed so much better than any man i've ever gone near. and the skin and the soft features and the....
Gir everytime i come here i get so sexually frustrated. I Have a boyfriend, hooking up with a girl is cheeting... be good annie... Ommmmm
But yeah... comming out... all my friends know... it never seemed like somthing that needed to be "accepted" it was jsut an understood. Girls are hot... who really wants to fight that argument? I never told my mom and honestly i think she might have her suspicions... My family i've kept in the dark. They don't need to know becasue as far as they are concerned i'm with a boy and we're happy. I almost told my sister once and i started with "what do you think of girls kissing?" and she was like ":Oh my god eww that's so grose don't even talk abot that stuff" Needless to say she'll never know.
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Old 09-12-2012, 01:59 PM   #23
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I'm out to my closest friends, I am considered out by people who really don't know me. I am gay and very glad that I am. I lived a long period of my life in denial, when I sucked my first penis I knew then I was extremely gay. I was scared of women and after that I knew I was better then most of them when it came to giving a man oral sex. I am a bottom and very passive when it comes to sex with another man. I like to think I am the femme in a relationship.
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Old 09-12-2012, 02:19 PM   #24
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I present as butch, and it always surprises me when men don't read that. If the subject of sexuality comes up, no matter where I am, I will say that I'm bisexual-- lately though, I say I'm gay because so many men think "Bisexual" means "ooh, she'll fuck anyone, so she'll fuck me!"

It's not the first thing I bring up in, say, a job-- but if it comes up, I will say. I'm extremely lucky of course, living in Los Angeles instead of Podunk.
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Old 09-13-2012, 01:24 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andreina View Post
those who know that im bi know not because i told them but because they have been good enough friends to notice by themselves.
Well said....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel View Post
I'm wondering if Bi's have the same coming out issues as Gay/Lesbian. Especially Bi-Females since it seems to be ever so popular nowadays.

I never even bothered any kind of coming out about the fact that I like chicks too. Before I realized there was any kind of attraction to females, I never announced to people that I was straight, so why bother doing it now? People will find out eventually if they stick around me long enough, the same way they'll figure out what type of guy I'm attracted to, or that I like crunchy peanut butter and nike sneakers. Heh.
Exactly... but I prefer Smooth over Crunchy....lol
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