Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > BDSM Talk

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 05-02-2015, 12:49 PM   #1
MeekMe
ヽ( ̄д ̄;)ノ=3=3=3
 
MeekMe's Avatar
 
MeekMe is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(; ̄◇ ̄)┘
Posts: 1,912
Lifestyle

I've been pondering this for awhile. I've started to read phrases like, 'I'm new to this lifestyle,' or 'I'm new to this world,' or 'I've been in the lifestyle for xx years,' and I kind of roll my eyes. I think I'm having trouble with the use of these words and the insinuation that BDSM or d/s or m/s is somehow part of a whole other planet. And the insinuation that your entire life has to transform to enjoy BDSM.

Lifestyle conjures up images of someone that starts trying to change their whole life around like throwing out all junk food and rearranging their furniture to be more feng shui.

Only it looks more like making a list of things you want someone else to do and decorating a room in your house in black and red with modified Ikea furniture.

So, what do you think of these phrases? Like, dislike, have a better way of looking at it? I am just struggling to get the image of a lifestyle magazine out of my head and would love to hear other interpretations and views on the subject. I suspect I'll see some POV changing perspectives and I look forward to it, because I really dislike thinking in such a cynical manner.
__________________
ψ(`∇´)ψ
Sometimes, I wish I was an evil genius. Maybe a little taller, too.


There are a lot of ways to do it. How does your relationship work?
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-02-2015, 02:16 PM   #2
Curious_in_Cali
Just right here
 
Curious_in_Cali's Avatar
 
Curious_in_Cali is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Suspended in daydreams
Posts: 16,653
I kind of read "lifestyle" to be something that drives the pulse and pace of your life. So if the stuff that falls under your BDSM umbrella is a medium or framework for how you approach your day to day stuff then it's a "lifestyle".

If you keep the furniture black because it's good feng shui and central to feeling right and whole, then that would maybe fall under "I live a feng shui lifestyle". If you spend a Saturday geeking out in feng shui and paint all your furniture black but then keep it that way because you just like black furniture, not so much?

The word "lifestyle" seems to be about the rules that run your life stuff. Kind of makes sense to me that rules and agreements are core to most BDSM stuff regardless if they are written and signed in triplicate or an understanding that is negotiated and held as mutual agreements between consenting adults.

Maybe?
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-02-2015, 03:00 PM   #3
midwestyankee
Done
 
midwestyankee's Avatar
 
midwestyankee is offline
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 28,449
I'll be interested to see what people who actually use it to describe their own lives mean by the word "lifestyle." My sense is that for a certain (possibly large?) subset of people who regularly practice some elements of BDSM, the word serves as a signal for something, possibly that they participate in their local BDSM or leather community. For them it means that BDSM is a part of both their private and their publuic lives. Others may use it differently, of course, and it will be interesting to see what everyone has to say.
__________________
I'm not evil. My mother had me tested.

Please visit Yank's Free Range Turkey Trot Warming Hut and Bondage Barn.

If you or someone you love is fighting cancer, drop by The "Fuck you cancer!" thread today.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Collar_N_Cuffs View Post
Shank, you're a bigger tease than even I can be!
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-02-2015, 03:54 PM   #4
SpunThings
Really Experienced
 
SpunThings is offline
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 156
It bugs me too because I suspect it is overused and many (not all) people who use it don't actually consider BDSM their lifestyle, it's just the thing you say because you want to be "in".

There's my cynical take on it.
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-02-2015, 04:11 PM   #5
Gianbattista
Literotica Guru
 
Gianbattista is offline
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,241
When I read lifestyle I presume tht for these people the bdsm is an intrinsic part of their relationship that is always present ( 24/7) and that is a vital part of the relationship.

An equivalent might be I have a close acquaintance who is single and accepts she will remain so because of various factors but one of those being on her complicated wish list the leading requirement is Practising Christian and she cannot contemplate marrying outside her faith or someone less involved. I guess I make a similar 'leap of assumption' when I read lifestyle, that it is an intrinsic part of the life and relationship that is a deal breaker over a relationship without it.



But that is as a newcomer to reading about this and discussing with real feedback and patient people to correct false assumptions. I would not say it has made me feel anything apart from something that due to my assumption of its use, does not resonate for me, for our relationship. For us our relationship needs comes before our individual needs/ wants if need be, though we aim to unite both . Because that's the strongest way to make things work we think.

However, everything I read about the 'BDSM ' relationships seems like good relationship housekeeping to me.......good communication with regular checkins to check boundaries are in place or moving, honesty, trust, raising any red flags, discussion about what is expected from each other, and how things progress......I think this is just GOOD relationship stuff and if all relationships were as sensible many would be happier or people would accept incompatibility sooner.

Its pretty much how I said to G when we became exclusive...he thought it was hilarious luckily....'ok, fine, but is make no further commitment with in a year, and if there is nothing more committing within two years I'm off, I have a biological clock'
__________________
Elle and Gianbattista
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-02-2015, 04:14 PM   #6
SpunThings
Really Experienced
 
SpunThings is offline
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 156
OK, here's perhaps a kinder less curmudgeonly response. I haven't had any coffee all day (only tea).

I think the idea of a "lifestyle" comes from people who are more into the social aspects of BDSM, and maybe perhaps a sub-culture that involves different dress. A good parallel I can think of is people who consider themselves goths. The whole thing is totally alien to me because I more or less identify as vanilla. Except I have kinky sex with S&M and a clear power exchange so I guess I can't get away with calling myself vanilla.
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-02-2015, 07:12 PM   #7
Athalia
Really Really Experienced
 
Athalia's Avatar
 
Athalia is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: California
Posts: 406
My problem with the word "lifestyle" is that it's been too long equated with gay people, and it's usually shorthand for conservatives to say, "Well, it's really a style of life they've chosen." And we know that it's not really a choice at all, any more than many of our other sexual proclivities are simply choices, things we can dispense with whenever it becomes inconvenient. It's part of who we are, who we've accepted ourselves to be. We pursue this course because it enhances our lives in ways that others may not understand.

Maybe "life track" would be better?
__________________
My stories are at:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-02-2015, 09:47 PM   #8
desertslave
Amateur Painslut
 
desertslave's Avatar
 
desertslave is offline
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: At JustaSCOUNDREL's feet
Posts: 4,290
In the 80s, when I was first a learning sub and then a sub with a dom, we called it being in 'the scene.' It fit, in the sense that the rest of the time I was just my "public" me, relatively autonomous and on my own. When we got together to play either alone or at a club, then I assumed my submissive role fully. I thought of it, then, like the wonderful chances I was given to put on my comfy PJ's and be my full self.

Now, with Master, most of the time I get to be entirely me, and while I don't think I'd use "lifestyle" as our primary descriptive, I wouldn't deny that it fits, either. We have our ups and downs, but when I find myself wondering who I am or who I'm trying to be, it's nearly always 'his slave' first. We don't play in public (I have mixed feelings on that), we don't socialize with other known D/s people, so I guess we fail those definitions for 'lifestyle.' Still, that seems to be the simplest way to describe us. The Master/slave dynamic is always there, just closer to the surface sometimes more than others.
__________________
Art is like prostitution....first you do it for love, next you do it for a few friends, then you end up doing it for money.

Sexiness wears thin after a while, and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a treat! ~~Joanne Woodward

Please enjoy my stories
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-02-2015, 11:27 PM   #9
Bramblethorn
Mallory Heart Surgeon.
 
Bramblethorn's Avatar
 
Bramblethorn is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Can't you hear, can't you hear that thunder?
Posts: 3,789
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeekMe View Post
I've been pondering this for awhile. I've started to read phrases like, 'I'm new to this lifestyle,' or 'I'm new to this world,' or 'I've been in the lifestyle for xx years,' and I kind of roll my eyes. I think I'm having trouble with the use of these words and the insinuation that BDSM or d/s or m/s is somehow part of a whole other planet. And the insinuation that your entire life has to transform to enjoy BDSM.
Yeah, that's pretty much where I sit. For some people it clearly is a lifestyle and that's cool with me, I wish them all happiness. But for me it's not a lifestyle, just a thing that I enjoy doing; it doesn't colour every moment of my life.

It wouldn't bother me much except that we do seem to get newbies now and then who want to know if they're allowed to do something less than 24/7 and still call themselves a BDSMer, and I think talking about "lifestyle" as if it's the only option might contribute to that.
__________________
New for February 2015: The Wasp of St. Judith's. A night-shift nurse in a dementia ward, a burned-out old musician, and a new co-worker.

Stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions
E-books: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/Bramblethorn
Blog: http://bramblethorn.dreamwidth.org/
Avatar pic borrowed from http://www.oglaf.com with permission.
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-03-2015, 09:58 PM   #10
MsAmative
Really Experienced
 
MsAmative's Avatar
 
MsAmative is offline
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeekMe View Post
I've been pondering this for awhile. I've started to read phrases like, 'I'm new to this lifestyle,' or 'I'm new to this world,' or 'I've been in the lifestyle for xx years,' and I kind of roll my eyes. I think I'm having trouble with the use of these words and the insinuation that BDSM or d/s or m/s is somehow part of a whole other planet. And the insinuation that your entire life has to transform to enjoy BDSM.

Lifestyle conjures up images of someone that starts trying to change their whole life around like throwing out all junk food and rearranging their furniture to be more feng shui.

Only it looks more like making a list of things you want someone else to do and decorating a room in your house in black and red with modified Ikea furniture.

So, what do you think of these phrases? Like, dislike, have a better way of looking at it? I am just struggling to get the image of a lifestyle magazine out of my head and would love to hear other interpretations and views on the subject. I suspect I'll see some POV changing perspectives and I look forward to it, because I really dislike thinking in such a cynical manner.
I have a feeling what that phrase was meant to mean and how it gets used by a lot of people is vastly different these days. I have used it in the past, when meeting new people (especially online.) In my instance, we would use it to indicate experience level or how active they are in the public community.

I would assume that when the phrasing first began it was mostly meant to signal how long they had been involved in the public scene (such as munches/play parties) and has later become a indicator of how much experience they have in real life (if any.)
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-04-2015, 10:36 AM   #11
MeekMe
ヽ( ̄д ̄;)ノ=3=3=3
 
MeekMe's Avatar
 
MeekMe is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(; ̄◇ ̄)┘
Posts: 1,912
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curious_in_Cali View Post
I kind of read "lifestyle" to be something that drives the pulse and pace of your life. So if the stuff that falls under your BDSM umbrella is a medium or framework for how you approach your day to day stuff then it's a "lifestyle".

If you keep the furniture black because it's good feng shui and central to feeling right and whole, then that would maybe fall under "I live a feng shui lifestyle". If you spend a Saturday geeking out in feng shui and paint all your furniture black but then keep it that way because you just like black furniture, not so much?

The word "lifestyle" seems to be about the rules that run your life stuff. Kind of makes sense to me that rules and agreements are core to most BDSM stuff regardless if they are written and signed in triplicate or an understanding that is negotiated and held as mutual agreements between consenting adults.

Maybe?
Well, "lifestyle" seems to be a pretty complex word and can encompass a lot of different things. So I think you're right in that it is something that drives the pulse and pace of your life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by midwestyankee View Post
I'll be interested to see what people who actually use it to describe their own lives mean by the word "lifestyle." My sense is that for a certain (possibly large?) subset of people who regularly practice some elements of BDSM, the word serves as a signal for something, possibly that they participate in their local BDSM or leather community. For them it means that BDSM is a part of both their private and their publuic lives. Others may use it differently, of course, and it will be interesting to see what everyone has to say.
I feel like it's a word that is appropriate for those that actually use it to describe their way of handling daily life. I can completely understand it in the context of those that are heavily involved in their local community. I'm sure I've used the word, but I find myself trying to get around it. I get very uncomfortable with the word, "lifestyle" when talking about myself. I don't feel like my lifestyle is best described as being heavily influenced by BDSM. There is some influence, but it's not the same as say a "green lifestyle" in which you do your best to lower your carbon foot print.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SpunThings View Post
It bugs me too because I suspect it is overused and many (not all) people who use it don't actually consider BDSM their lifestyle, it's just the thing you say because you want to be "in".

There's my cynical take on it.
Perhaps, if I'm not mistaken, most everything I've read has talked about BDSM in terms of a lifestyle. I see a lot of informative literature that tends to speak in terms of 24/7 with just a small portion on bedroom only. What's a better word for we have a system that isn't quite m/s and we make appropriate decisions based on what's needed but we still have a d/s kind of thing that works and we're kinky in the bedroom?
__________________
ψ(`∇´)ψ
Sometimes, I wish I was an evil genius. Maybe a little taller, too.


There are a lot of ways to do it. How does your relationship work?
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-04-2015, 10:45 AM   #12
MeekMe
ヽ( ̄д ̄;)ノ=3=3=3
 
MeekMe's Avatar
 
MeekMe is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(; ̄◇ ̄)┘
Posts: 1,912
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gianbattista View Post
When I read lifestyle I presume tht for these people the bdsm is an intrinsic part of their relationship that is always present ( 24/7) and that is a vital part of the relationship.
'
Quote:
Originally Posted by SpunThings View Post
OK, here's perhaps a kinder less curmudgeonly response. I haven't had any coffee all day (only tea).

I think the idea of a "lifestyle" comes from people who are more into the social aspects of BDSM, and maybe perhaps a sub-culture that involves different dress. A good parallel I can think of is people who consider themselves goths. The whole thing is totally alien to me because I more or less identify as vanilla. Except I have kinky sex with S&M and a clear power exchange so I guess I can't get away with calling myself vanilla.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Athalia View Post
My problem with the word "lifestyle" is that it's been too long equated with gay people, and it's usually shorthand for conservatives to say, "Well, it's really a style of life they've chosen." And we know that it's not really a choice at all, any more than many of our other sexual proclivities are simply choices, things we can dispense with whenever it becomes inconvenient. It's part of who we are, who we've accepted ourselves to be. We pursue this course because it enhances our lives in ways that others may not understand.

Maybe "life track" would be better?
I'm seeing a pattern here. Though, I feel like "life track" is like planning out things you want to accomplish by certain times in your life. Like saying you want to own a house by the age of 30.

I'm starting to feel like lifestyle isn't the silliest word to use. Though I'm really contemplating the BDSM Lifestyles mag where the articles are about the latest in BDSM fashion, home decor, etiquette, etc. etc. Think "Better Homes & Gardens" but with crops and catsuits.
__________________
ψ(`∇´)ψ
Sometimes, I wish I was an evil genius. Maybe a little taller, too.


There are a lot of ways to do it. How does your relationship work?
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-04-2015, 11:04 AM   #13
MeekMe
ヽ( ̄д ̄;)ノ=3=3=3
 
MeekMe's Avatar
 
MeekMe is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(; ̄◇ ̄)┘
Posts: 1,912
Quote:
Originally Posted by desertslave View Post
In the 80s, when I was first a learning sub and then a sub with a dom, we called it being in 'the scene.' It fit, in the sense that the rest of the time I was just my "public" me, relatively autonomous and on my own. When we got together to play either alone or at a club, then I assumed my submissive role fully. I thought of it, then, like the wonderful chances I was given to put on my comfy PJ's and be my full self.

Now, with Master, most of the time I get to be entirely me, and while I don't think I'd use "lifestyle" as our primary descriptive, I wouldn't deny that it fits, either. We have our ups and downs, but when I find myself wondering who I am or who I'm trying to be, it's nearly always 'his slave' first. We don't play in public (I have mixed feelings on that), we don't socialize with other known D/s people, so I guess we fail those definitions for 'lifestyle.' Still, that seems to be the simplest way to describe us. The Master/slave dynamic is always there, just closer to the surface sometimes more than others.
It sounds appropriate in this context. It's something that comes first and influences your life in its entirety.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bramblethorn View Post
Yeah, that's pretty much where I sit. For some people it clearly is a lifestyle and that's cool with me, I wish them all happiness. But for me it's not a lifestyle, just a thing that I enjoy doing; it doesn't colour every moment of my life.

It wouldn't bother me much except that we do seem to get newbies now and then who want to know if they're allowed to do something less than 24/7 and still call themselves a BDSMer, and I think talking about "lifestyle" as if it's the only option might contribute to that.
I think you've said what I am feeling perfectly. Anything less the 24/7 seems to get dumped on in some cases. It's the way I feel when I see things like "24/7 for real." Wait, you mean some people are only 24/7 for pretend? Or anything less the 24/7 isn't real?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MsAmative View Post
I have a feeling what that phrase was meant to mean and how it gets used by a lot of people is vastly different these days. I have used it in the past, when meeting new people (especially online.) In my instance, we would use it to indicate experience level or how active they are in the public community.

I would assume that when the phrasing first began it was mostly meant to signal how long they had been involved in the public scene (such as munches/play parties) and has later become a indicator of how much experience they have in real life (if any.)
I've heard it being used this way. "I've been in the lifestyle for x years," is a common phrase.

This is making me think. Let's say Joe Average joins the forum and he's only ever had vanilla relationships. He wants to have a more "BDSM lifestyle" or he's really interested in the "d/s lifestyle." Can he say he has experience in the "lifestyle" if he doesn't find a partner to enjoy it with in real life (or even online)? Like he's decided to start introducing these things but for whatever reason goes months/years without finding an appropriate partner. Does it only count as a lifestyle if someone else does it with you? Are there practices he can introduce in his life that would be considered a lifestyle change without it involving other people?
__________________
ψ(`∇´)ψ
Sometimes, I wish I was an evil genius. Maybe a little taller, too.


There are a lot of ways to do it. How does your relationship work?
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-04-2015, 03:04 PM   #14
Bramblethorn
Mallory Heart Surgeon.
 
Bramblethorn's Avatar
 
Bramblethorn is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Can't you hear, can't you hear that thunder?
Posts: 3,789
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsAmative View Post
I have a feeling what that phrase was meant to mean and how it gets used by a lot of people is vastly different these days. I have used it in the past, when meeting new people (especially online.) In my instance, we would use it to indicate experience level or how active they are in the public community.

I would assume that when the phrasing first began it was mostly meant to signal how long they had been involved in the public scene (such as munches/play parties) and has later become a indicator of how much experience they have in real life (if any.)
I've been BDSMing for almost 20 years, but I've never been involved in the public scene. While I appreciate that there's a lot to be said for learning the ropes from a live community, I'm also shy of strange people, especially where intimate personal stuff is concerned.
__________________
New for February 2015: The Wasp of St. Judith's. A night-shift nurse in a dementia ward, a burned-out old musician, and a new co-worker.

Stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions
E-books: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/Bramblethorn
Blog: http://bramblethorn.dreamwidth.org/
Avatar pic borrowed from http://www.oglaf.com with permission.
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-04-2015, 03:49 PM   #15
MeekMe
ヽ( ̄д ̄;)ノ=3=3=3
 
MeekMe's Avatar
 
MeekMe is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(; ̄◇ ̄)┘
Posts: 1,912
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bramblethorn View Post
I've been BDSMing for almost 20 years, but I've never been involved in the public scene. While I appreciate that there's a lot to be said for learning the ropes from a live community, I'm also shy of strange people, especially where intimate personal stuff is concerned.
I haven't been BDSMing for very long and the plan isn't to join in on community events. Maybe, but probably not going to happen. I prefer to keep this to myself. There's no reason for me to go meet local people (I also don't want to know about their personal stuff).
__________________
ψ(`∇´)ψ
Sometimes, I wish I was an evil genius. Maybe a little taller, too.


There are a lot of ways to do it. How does your relationship work?
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-04-2015, 03:54 PM   #16
SpunThings
Really Experienced
 
SpunThings is offline
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 156
We've had kinky elements, and BDSM elements from very early so I've been doing it a long time, and also have no desire to join any community (outside online).

I think what is happening is that most "bedroom only" people probably aren't interested in reading up on theory, discussion, etc. The few of us that are not quite so fervent, or into 24/7, but DO enjoy in depth discussions about our interests are in the minority in the active online discussions.

Because I would bet that more people are into more moderate BDSM (not 24/7, and not spending a large portion of their free time on it, not participating in events).
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-04-2015, 04:32 PM   #17
MeekMe
ヽ( ̄д ̄;)ノ=3=3=3
 
MeekMe's Avatar
 
MeekMe is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(; ̄◇ ̄)┘
Posts: 1,912
Hm, we focused on lifestyle, but how about when someone uses a phrase like, "this world is so new to me."

Or I've come across a profile that said something like, 'I've always liked [insert thing] even in my vanilla life,' as if they are no longer that person or living the same life.

Do we become new people after checking the BDSM box? Are we no longer "vanilla" ourselves?
__________________
ψ(`∇´)ψ
Sometimes, I wish I was an evil genius. Maybe a little taller, too.


There are a lot of ways to do it. How does your relationship work?
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-04-2015, 05:33 PM   #18
Primalex
女房と畳は新しいほうがよい
 
Primalex's Avatar
 
Primalex is offline
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 3,895
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeekMe View Post
So, what do you think of these phrases?
I think the discussions about these phrases are the worst part of this lifestyle.
__________________
Primalex 2.0 - now with FetLife
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-04-2015, 05:40 PM   #19
MeekMe
ヽ( ̄д ̄;)ノ=3=3=3
 
MeekMe's Avatar
 
MeekMe is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(; ̄◇ ̄)┘
Posts: 1,912
Quote:
Originally Posted by Primalex View Post
I think the discussions about these phrases are the worst part of this lifestyle.
How so? You tend to make good points so I would love to hear more from you on this.
__________________
ψ(`∇´)ψ
Sometimes, I wish I was an evil genius. Maybe a little taller, too.


There are a lot of ways to do it. How does your relationship work?
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-04-2015, 08:15 PM   #20
luvnmyboys
Really Experienced
 
luvnmyboys's Avatar
 
luvnmyboys is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 214
In my opinion, lifestyle implies that it influences the structure of your daily routine and the way you communicate which would be 24/7 or close to that. It could also imply that you are active socially with others. World is just silly to me. It's an activity, not something from another planet. I wouldn't use lifestyle for myself as we are bedroom only and not involved in bdsm socially.
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-04-2015, 08:25 PM   #21
midwestyankee
Done
 
midwestyankee's Avatar
 
midwestyankee is offline
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 28,449
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeekMe View Post
Hm, we focused on lifestyle, but how about when someone uses a phrase like, "this world is so new to me."

Or I've come across a profile that said something like, 'I've always liked [insert thing] even in my vanilla life,' as if they are no longer that person or living the same life.

Do we become new people after checking the BDSM box? Are we no longer "vanilla" ourselves?
Quite possibly. I am nearing the end of four-year waiting period for my New Dominance Personality Transplant. It's supposed to increase one's love of sadism, raise testosterone levels to a near Bruce Banner-like level, and make the receiver tun instantly tumescent at the sound of rustling pubic hairs. I can't wait. [/hijack]
__________________
I'm not evil. My mother had me tested.

Please visit Yank's Free Range Turkey Trot Warming Hut and Bondage Barn.

If you or someone you love is fighting cancer, drop by The "Fuck you cancer!" thread today.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Collar_N_Cuffs View Post
Shank, you're a bigger tease than even I can be!
  Reply With Quote

Old 05-04-2015, 10:10 PM   #22
MeekMe
ヽ( ̄д ̄;)ノ=3=3=3
 
MeekMe's Avatar
 
MeekMe is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(; ̄◇ ̄)┘
Posts: 1,912
Quote:
Originally Posted by midwestyankee View Post
Quite possibly. I am nearing the end of four-year waiting period for my New Dominance Personality Transplant. It's supposed to increase one's love of sadism, raise testosterone levels to a near Bruce Banner-like level, and make the receiver tun instantly tumescent at the sound of rustling pubic hairs. I can't wait. [/hijack]
I needed this smile. You can hijack my thread anytime. This little bit of humor always helps me.

This thread, much like many that I make is really about introspection. I get hung up on these words and I can't really figure out what it is that bothers me. I think in pictures and feelings and often words come out all mangled. Seriously, people who have received greeting cards from me can tell.

Anyway, I appreciate all of the replies. My view has softened a little.
__________________
ψ(`∇´)ψ
Sometimes, I wish I was an evil genius. Maybe a little taller, too.


There are a lot of ways to do it. How does your relationship work?
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-07-2015, 12:20 PM   #23
gluttonne
Experienced
 
gluttonne is offline
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Pee Dee swamps, SC
Posts: 75
I would say that most people who use terms like lifestyle/world/scene are excited to self-identify as part of an edgy subculture, or genuinely feel that they are making a conscious departure from whatever they previously considered themselves a part of. Some folks like the idea that they are undergoing a stage of growth or transformation, and the label of a lifestyle is almost like a mantra. Some people really just fall in love with the social aspects of the subculture and are proud to consider themselves members of a group that is freer/more honest/edgier in their eyes.

Personally, while I've had friends who were into various kinds of kink that generally fall under the BDSM umbrella, and we've had conversations with them that we couldn't easily have with the uninitiated in general, neither I nor most of the women I have ever been involved with are particularly extroverted. I personally enjoy meeting new people with common interests, and enjoy building strong friendships, I don't find any particular group always gets me. Being a musician, it's always easy to talk about music with other people who make or are passionate about music. Same goes with techy sorts of people, people who enjoy spending time in nature, psychonauts, people who believe that individual liberty is the most essential trait to a successful society, fans of various kinds of movies, food, cars, etc. I am interested in lots of things and enjoy discussing them, especially with people that I can learn from or teach something new to. Unfortunately, being social drains me, particularly with people I don't already know, so I am much more likely to connect with an interest or an individual person than the concept of a lifestyle.
__________________
catch you with my death bag
you may think I am insane, but I promise you I will kill again
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-07-2015, 12:45 PM   #24
JAMESBJOHNSON
TRAILER TRASH KING.
 
JAMESBJOHNSON's Avatar
 
JAMESBJOHNSON is offline
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: COME AND GONE
Posts: 50,572
Someone send the whiny bitch the official decoder ring and a supervisor size bottle of sedatives.
__________________
“To know me in the flesh is to pass onto better things”. Raymond Chandler
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-08-2015, 12:05 PM   #25
xxxSubSamxxx
Experienced
 
xxxSubSamxxx is offline
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 90
Calling it a lifestyle is easy for me....as I am learning I am changing and it's a part of my life now....albeit new.

Sam xx
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:11 PM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.