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Old 05-06-2016, 06:54 PM   #1
NewbieMaster097
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Unhappy Can I be Master, even though I'm a bottom?

Hey everyone, I've recently gotten into the whole BDSM scene, and after all the stuff that I've seen and found after some looking around, I have to ask: Can I still be a Master even though I'm a bottom?

I'm a very dominant person, and I love being in control, sexually or otherwise. It was the reason why I got into the whole BDSM scene in the first place. However, my preferred sexual position is as a bottom, a very aggressive bottom mind you, but a bottom nonetheless, and from what I've noticed in the scene so far, is that most people expect bottoms to be the submissive, subservient types, and I'm not that at all.

I rather tie someone up, than be tied myself. I'd rather make the decisions, rather than simply follow them. And don't even get me started on hitting and slapping. i don't mind dishing it out so long as the other guy wanted it, but if a top randomly slapped me in the face in the middle of sex, I would deck him on the spot.

So guys, is there even a chance for someone like me in the scene? I know there are passive tops out there. But BDSM, and definitely, Master/Slave is a whole different ball game, and I'm not so sure.

Any advice?
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Old 05-06-2016, 07:01 PM   #2
NewbieMaster097
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Also, if you haven't already figured, I'm gay by the way.
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Old 05-06-2016, 07:07 PM   #3
Consilience
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This is confusing.
If you're a certifiable D why do you take on the role of an S?
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Old 05-06-2016, 07:11 PM   #4
CutieMouse
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Are you talking physical position during sex?

Because if that's the concern, I don't see how ones physical position = PYL or pyl. In addition, there are no rules that say a PYL can't order a pyl to do XYZ "topping" exactly how the PYL wants it. You're a master who loves a good flogging? Telling someone to flog you and exactly how you want it done, isn't turning in your secret kink decoder ring... It's getting your wants and needs met, exactly as it would if you were telling your partner how to perform ___ sex act, take a spanking, or make your coffee.

PYL = dominant, top, master, etc
pyl = bottom, slave, submissive, etc
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Old 05-06-2016, 08:02 PM   #5
SpunThings
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A bottom is not someone on the bottom during sex. Generally in BDSM a bottom likes things being dome to them, like slapping and being tied up. There is no conflict here since you describe yourself as a top. A top is someone who likes to do things to people.

With that said, a master can be a bottom. Generally a master is the person in charge in a relationship. So a master could order their partner to spank them or tie them up or whatever. Sometimes master is used to describe someone who has skills beyond just being in charge in a relationship. The thing is, there is no one definition that everyone agrees on for that label.
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Old 05-06-2016, 08:25 PM   #6
J_R_Ashunwhy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieMaster097 View Post
Hey everyone, I've recently gotten into the whole BDSM scene, and after all the stuff that I've seen and found after some looking around, I have to ask: Can I still be a Master even though I'm a bottom?

I'm a very dominant person, and I love being in control, sexually or otherwise. It was the reason why I got into the whole BDSM scene in the first place.
There is such a thing as 'topping from the bottom,' however....
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieMaster097 View Post
However, my preferred sexual position is as a bottom, a very aggressive bottom mind you, but a bottom nonetheless, and from what I've noticed in the scene so far, is that most people expect bottoms to be the submissive, subservient types, and I'm not that at all.
A 'bottom' would refer to the person having the actions during play performed on them,submissive,ply,etc. not just which ever sexual position you prefer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieMaster097 View Post
I rather tie someone up, than be tied myself. I'd rather make the decisions, rather than simply follow them. And don't even get me started on hitting and slapping. i don't mind dishing it out so long as the other guy wanted it, but if a top randomly slapped me in the face in the middle of sex, I would deck him on the spot.
^Does not sound like a bottom. Also, more communication before a scene would be suggested if you have a fear of your partner randomly committing aggressive acts not previously discussed between you two.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NewbieMaster097 View Post
So guys, is there even a chance for someone like me in the scene? I know there are passive tops out there. But BDSM, and definitely, Master/Slave is a whole different ball game, and I'm not so sure.

Any advice?
Stop referring to yourself as a 'bottom' based off of the sexual position you like, and start referring to your actual personality preferences.
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Old 05-06-2016, 08:29 PM   #7
Consilience
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I think this proves how sexually incompetent I am.
Couldn't even work out that he probably meant positioning.
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Old 05-06-2016, 09:38 PM   #8
NewbieMaster097
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Wow thanks everyone! You've all really helped clear this up for me. I always assumed top and bottom strictly referred to physical position, and that that had no merit in an actual BDSM relationship.

Now maybe I can feel more confident in meeting new potential fetish friends/partners. 😆
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Old 05-06-2016, 10:44 PM   #9
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I'm gonna leave this good post by Stella Omega out here for you to read. It may have some information/definitions that may be helpful:
http://forum.literotica.com/showpost...&postcount=148
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Old 05-07-2016, 12:18 AM   #10
Freya_Gin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CutieMouse View Post
Are you talking physical position during sex?

Because if that's the concern, I don't see how ones physical position = PYL or pyl.
I agree. I've "topped" while being facesat by a woman. I teased and teased until she begged me to make her cum. Fun!

Quote:
In addition, there are no rules that say a PYL can't order a pyl to do XYZ "topping" exactly how the PYL wants it. You're a master who loves a good flogging? Telling someone to flog you and exactly how you want it done, isn't turning in your secret kink decoder ring...
What secret decoder ring?! No one ever mentioned a secret decoder ring!
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