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Old 03-05-2003, 11:22 PM   #26
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One possibility is that the sensitive areas are not being sufficiently stimulated. Some thing like stimulating everything but the clit.

My wife enjoys giving head, so much so that she often forgets to stimulate my sensitive areas, I have even gone soft when that happens.

During intercourse all areas get the same stimulation.

Teeth also enter into the equation. Pain counteracts other stimulants.
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Old 03-05-2003, 11:23 PM   #27
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Another male perspective...

1) As James G 5 said, some guys just don't cum from oral sex. Some don't cum from handjobs. Some take forever to cum from intercourse. Different guys get more turned on by different types of stimulus. Generally speaking though, ALL of it still feels good. If you really want to swallow cum, then bring him to the point of cumming with whatever technique or stimulus works best for him and then pop his cock in your mouth as he starts cumming.

2) "...why [can] a guy can last an hour in your mouth, but no where near that long during intercourse?"

Sweetnpetite's question is partially answered above. Another reason is sometimes that during intercourse the vagina (or anus) is snugly wrapped around the entire circumference and length of the penis, providing more stimulation. Also, in most positions, the guy controls both depth and speed, thus allowing him to bring himself rapidly to orgasm.

3) Most importantly, ask yourself why it's important to you that he cum. The most important and central point of sex (IMHO) is pleasing your partner. If he's loving the feel of your BJ but not cumming, so what? Suck his cock as long as you're comfortable doing so, as long as you enjoy it, but then move on to something else. Sure, cumming is great, but when it becomes the "goal" of sex, a lot of depth, fun, and spontateity is lost.

Bottom line: There's almost certainly nothing wrong with either you or your bf. Just have fun and do what feels good.
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Old 03-05-2003, 11:40 PM   #28
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Re: How long does it take a guy to cum when getting a blow job?

Originally posted by paintergrl
I have been told that I give great head when I go down on a guy. I have only seriously gone down on two guys, and each time it either took forever for them to cum, or not at all. When I'm done neither one can really walk, but they never came. I have various methods, that I use at time, Altoids, Head Candy, different positions, different places, etc. So is it just the guys, or is it me? How long does it take an average guy to cum when getting a blow job?

I don't know what average is when it comes to guys and the time it takes them to cum. I've been told that I'm good when it comes to going down on guys. I've been able to make men cum by doing so alone. My SO does not cum from oral sex though. I know he likes the feelings he gets and tells me that I'm really good. I'm not disappointed though that he doesn't cum since I know he enjoys the time I do spend there.
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Old 03-06-2003, 12:26 AM   #29
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Re: Another male perspective...

Originally posted by DuckLover
3) Most importantly, ask yourself why it's important to you that he cum. The most important and central point of sex (IMHO) is pleasing your partner. If he's loving the feel of your BJ but not cumming, so what? Suck his cock as long as you're comfortable doing so, as long as you enjoy it, but then move on to something else. Sure, cumming is great, but when it becomes the "goal" of sex, a lot of depth, fun, and spontateity is lost.

Good point!
How many threads are there here where women talk about how focusing too hard on "trying" to come and making it a "goal" can derail it?
It can happen for guys, too
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Old 03-06-2003, 06:37 PM   #30
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my personal opinion, its gonna depend on the guy, technique or not. Some will come with the slightest touch and some can hold out and enjoy it.
Unless your causing pain hun, then i seriously doubt its you.

just my opinion.

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Old 03-06-2003, 07:29 PM   #31
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As has been stated...

different men respond in different ways so I don't hink there really is a norm per say for this sort of thing

My husband also takes particularly long to orgasm from oral sex. It has nothing to do with my technique, just that this particular stimulus, while highly enjoyable, does not arouse him as quickly as intercourse. Like you I used to be very upset by the fact that I seemingly couldn't " get him off" orally and used to literally go down on him til my jaw hurt. It started to really turn me off oral sex and so I talked to him about it to see what we could do. It turned out that as another poster mentioned his stimulation wasn't complete. The best way to describe it is that it is a similar sensation to the numbing a vibe can give with direct clitoral stimulation for to long. Feels good at first but after a bit it can actually make you lose sensation. I altered things a bit, concentrating not only on licking and sucking his head and shaft, but also stimulating his balls and his ass. Men's prostates are extremely sensetive and stimulating them can often trigger orgasm. For my husband this added a whole new dimension to the oral pleasure. He also found that if we are spooned in a 69 position where he can also pleasure me orally he can climax faster as more stimulation is possible.
If your man is comfortable having his ass played with try to stimulate the prostate during oral and see if that gets him to cum faster, or if not try lightly scratching your nails down the sensetive skin of his inner thighs or over his balls.

In the end if it doesn't feel good to both of you, then don't force it, accept that oral sex may in fact just be a wickedly enjoyable appetizer that keeps him nice and hard for the mains course!
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Old 03-07-2003, 04:24 PM   #32
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I and my girlfriend's oral sessions usually go on for quite a while, maybe forty-five minutes even. Of course she doesn't have my cock in her gob the entire time: she'll take it out now and again and we'll stroke each other and touch and rub and all that. Kissing is important, too. She enjoys doing it and I like to delay my orgasm as long as possible. Mstrskey is right about the numbing effect: I rarely come in one go (unless we are in a hurry!). It takes a few proper five minute masturbations and sucks and doing other stuff in between to give her jaw a rest. When it goes on for longer it feels more like an accomplishment, I suppose. Bwahahaha.
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Old 03-07-2003, 07:17 PM   #33
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i've noticed when i put all the feeling into my cock, everything is even more sensitive, and unless she uses her teeth, I don't last too long
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Old 03-07-2003, 10:53 PM   #34
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Do be honest there paintergrl of all the BJ's I have ever had I have trully recieved I have never cum. Why who knows? I love em thats for sure....
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Old 03-08-2003, 09:45 PM   #35
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I’ve had the same problem with my boyfriend. He tells me he loves it, and its obvious from his body motion and grunts that he enjoys it, but I’ve never been able to make him cum from it. The image of me between his legs, pleasuring him with my mouth adds to his overall enjoyment – as well as the feeling of my hair on his legs and thighs. But oral sex tends to be more of a gentle teasing ordeal for us…using my hand I’m able to be more forceful which is what he needs to get over the top.

Don’t feel like it says anything negative about you, though. Stop when your jaw hurts – don’t feel like an hour long marathon that numbs him and kills your mouth is gonna make up for anything ::grin::

By the way, I recently found a site that had tongue-exercises for guys to improve their cunnilingus stamina. Anyone know any fellatio work-outs?
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Old 03-08-2003, 11:01 PM   #36
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When having a partner going down on me all it takes is a for her to cease for only a couple of secs and may as well say would have to start all over. It is nothing wrong with your techique but just one of those things us guys have to tolerate. So if you wanted to bring a guy off quick don't stop keep going till he cums
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Old 03-09-2003, 09:19 PM   #37
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Re: How long does it take....

Originally posted by SempreAngela
I decide when it is time for my partner to cum. It is all in the technique. So the answer for how long it takes is simply, it takes as long as I want it to.
I agree, but I like to make him cum after about 10 minutes.

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Old 03-13-2003, 05:45 PM   #38
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I never cum with just a straight blowjob. There has to be some variation in the woman's style--moving from one techinque to another and even more important constant hand action. That is probably what you should try.
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Old 03-14-2003, 01:44 PM   #39
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It is virtually impossible for my botfriend to cum while someone is going down on him. He says that it's due to the fact that he was always told not to for so long. Trying to make him do it now will give you lockjaw.
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Old 03-14-2003, 03:54 PM   #40
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Thank you everyone for you insite, & advice. I feel soo much better knowing that there are guys out there who just can't do it. & that it's not all me. Thanks!!!
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Old 03-16-2003, 02:41 PM   #41
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heh for me to cum when a girl go's down on me means she needs to do more then just try to suck on it ...

either changing speeds and pressure .. to using a hand as well ... maybe every now and then stop sucking and just let the lips slide over the head ...

or even pull it out and stroke it while just licking the tip .

things like that will make me cum .. sometiems 4 to 5 min .. sometimes 20 min .. depends on how long it has been and how turned on i am at the time ..

course i will never turn down a lady that needs to pratice givin head
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Old 08-13-2005, 10:30 AM   #42
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Here is my experience. I got my first blowjob when I was about 24 - it was a nice surprise that she wanted to suck my cock and we had fucked the night before - I would say it only took me about 5 minutes at most to cum. That relationship lasted about 6 more months and she would suck me off about once a week. I then was married for a while and no blowjobs were part of that. After that divorce, I went about 4 years with only limited fucks so I got real used to my hand !!!

When I met my new wife, she was really interested in sucking me off - she liked the taste of cum and she wanted to see that she could get me off that way. It took almost a year of off and on trying by her. One night she just declared this was going to be the night no matter what - it took 30-45 minutes but I finally exploded in her mouth. That was more than 10 years ago but I can still vifidly remember how fantastice the experience was - it just felt so much different that cumming in her pussy (both are great, the blowjob was just a much different experience). Once we got past that first time, it only took me about 5 minutes of her blowing me to cum. In fact, I soon found I was asking for her to suck me off and she wanted a good fuch instead - I alsways that both could occur, but she didn't see it that way. Now I am past my second divorce and back to getting way too acquainted with my hand.

My conclusion is that, for me, I had gotten too used to th esensation of masturbating and it took a while for my cock to get accustomed to anything else (other than a pussy, which you NEVER forget). So, there is my long answer to your question.

Ps - looking forward to getting back into the saddle soon.
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Old 08-13-2005, 10:44 AM   #43
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I can vary it. When I was 16 I was teased and given my first blowjob. The girl said that if I could last 5 minutes with my dick in her mouth that I could fuck her. I added that if I lasted 6, she couldn't just quit.

I lasted 47 minutes. Can't forget that one.

So I have the ability to control it.
now that's some sweet tasting pussy!
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Old 08-13-2005, 11:20 AM   #44
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Lightbulb some techniques that work

I am a little curious as to why a man reaching orgasm quickly is the need. As men can only reach orgasm so few times, compared to my lots, I find it very sensual to prolong this. But the bottoom line is this. Watch your man masterbate, See the areas that he likes and focus on these.

Keep it mixed up, don't just put your mouth on his cock and suck. Your tongue can do much (saves a sore jaw too). Wiggling your tongue in a back and forth motion as you run up and down his cock will bring him pleasure, (be sure to do this all around the cock, but the under ridge is the most sensitive to this. Using the flat of hte tongue in the same motion, kinda like a cat licking her kitten.

Holding the base of the mans cock you can lick around the head of the cock. It is very sensual if you wiggle your tongue just where the head and the shaft meet. Sometimes going around in a circular motion and then changing the direction is good too. I like to do this and occasionally take the cock as deep as i feel comfortable. sometimes it goes down my throat, others not so deep.

The womans position can have just as much to do with the pleasure for the man. I myself love to give head in the sixty nine position. something about my cuming with a mans cock in my mouth is very gratifing for me. However, I find this one to be very good for the man. If he leans against a counter or wall, legs slightly in front and wide enough so that you can sit between his legs. (most men loves to watch his cock as it goes in and out of their lovers mouth). It is also good if you come out slowly, to look into his eyes. Added pleasure for you is that you get to watch his eyes roll back in pure pleasure.

But the body is one big playground. While giving head, i use one hand to explore the body. Each person has places that increase pleasure. Some men really like their anus played with, others their tits. But these are the obvious. The small of the back, the thighs, the inner part of his knees, his ankles when lightly rubbed can increase the pleasure and thus bring him off faster if that is your goal.

However mine has been to prolong the orgasm, and I do this by every time I notice that his balls begin to tighten i grab the balls and pull them gently away from the body. or occasionally i squeeze the head of the cock tightly, this sensation only works half the time, with him blowing his load the other half of the time.

Keep in mind that sex is not a race, but an adventure. So much to try and so much to do. Enjoy it all!! If you really want to do a man well. Wait until you are on a long road trip, set the cruise contol, and go down on him. Be warned that he may or not cum, but if not, i guarentee him pulling you over and you getting the benifits.
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Old 08-14-2005, 02:05 PM   #45
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Try 69?

I have found that 69, with a little anal stimulation is a quick kicker!
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Old 08-15-2005, 03:40 AM   #46
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How long it's gonna take a guy to bust his nut depends on a number of things. These are the most relevant, I'd say:

1) How horny he is
2) How good your technique is
3) How enthusiastic and into doing it you are
4) How long it's been since he came
5) How relaxed he is
6) Whether there are distractions

It can take me anywhere from 5/10 minutes up to 45 minutes to blow my load, depending on how these things combine.

The most important is your enthusiasm. Nobody likes to get their dick sucked by somebody who is doing it as a chore. Watch porn to learn how to give an "enthusiastic blowjob." Why do you think guys like watching blowjob videos? It's because we want our women to be as wanton and cockhungry for our bones as the starlets on the screen are for those of their gentleman suitor. Cut out the middleman and give him that wild, unabandoned enthusiasm he needs.

Make the room dark so he concentrates on feeling it. Talk dirty and shit to him, "Your cock this, your cock that," and moan the whole time like he's fucking you and you are enjoying being fucked.

Considering playing with his ass. If he's secure he won't think he's suddenly becoming gay/bi (unless he is already, in which case it wouldn't be insecurity, just reality setting it). Do this throughout, intermittently, or as he is about to cum. He should like it. It makes me fucking explode.

And give him a little foreplay first. I personally like being pinned down and having my girlfriend's beautiful breasts dangled just out of reach of my mouth; or, having her stand and dance over me, not letting me touch her. . . sexy shit. Gets me fucking horny. I should go wake her up. . .

Last edited by BarnabySchmidt : 08-15-2005 at 03:45 AM.
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Old 08-15-2005, 06:49 AM   #47
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I never ever cum by blow jobs. I don't know if my partners are not good at giving blow jobs or what.
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Old 08-15-2005, 04:52 PM   #48
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Well, thats the way my GF and I have sex 99% of the time. Both of us are very concerned about having kid's at this point in our lives, and neither of us has found an acceptable bcontrol method as of yet that doesn't cause some sort of discomfort for one of us.

BJ's are great!

Let me say it again.. hehe.. BJ's are great!

A big thing that makes a difference if you want a guy to cum in your mouth, is showing and telling him that its ok and that you want it. I dated someone before my fiance', and she would do oral, but got really upset the one time I came in her mouth. Afterwords, it kind of created a stumbling block for me for a long time. With my current GF, she rarely swallows, but she loves for me to cum in her mouth, and I do so now with relish!

But it took nearly 3years for us to get that comfortable with one another. And sometimes it still takes me a long time, dunno why.. god knows it feels great. If I know that she's into it, and wants it, it tends to happen fast. If it seem like a chore or that she's doing it out of a sense of "obligation" then it can take forever. <now if I could only convince her to ... well.. more on that later.. hehe>
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Old 08-15-2005, 09:18 PM   #49
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I don't know whether this was covered already, but a man who grips his cock too snugly when he masturbates is dang near impossible to make cum from oral alone. I have seen it at least ten times now: they use the kung-fu death grip on their penis, and you simply can't match that with your moutn. I've asked men I have suspected with this problem to jerk off for me, and sure enough, there it is, the too-tight grip.
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Old 08-15-2005, 09:21 PM   #50
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Originally Posted by paintergrl
How long does it take an average guy to cum when getting a blow job?
This varies wildly. Some men just aren't wired to come from oral.
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