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Small breasts for the FMC

8letters

8letters

Writing
Joined
May 27, 2013
Posts
2,233
I've got a brother-sister story written and I'm editing now. Here's the initial description of the sister:
Monday a few weeks later, my sister was waiting for me when I got to my car. She was short at 5’3”, thin and had small tits. The former gymnast look, which she was. She was wearing a white blouse and gray skirt that came down to her knees. Very professional looking to me.
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Here's part of their first sex scene. The sister Mia has snuck into her brother's bedroom dressed as his old girlfriend Ginny
The hoodie was unzipped now, and Mia was holding the bottom of the hoodie next to the zipper with each hand. I could see enough through the gap where the zipper had been to know that Mia was wearing dark panties and wasn’t wearing a bra. How much of mine and Ginny’s Friday nights was Mia going to reenact?

Mia held her pose. I realized she was waiting for me to say something more. I said, “I’m so glad you’ve come to visit me, Ginny.” My brain was warming to this game, so I thought to add, “I really missed you last Friday night.”

Mia silently laughed. She started flapping the sides of her hoodie as she asked, “What did you miss? Was it my…” - Mia suddenly flung open the hoodie - “TITS!”

Mia’s small, nicely rounded mounds stood out proudly from her chest. They were shaped like a section of an orange. Mia’s erect nipples dominated the small, dark ring around them.

I stammered out, “They’re…so…beautiful.”

Mia flashed me a pleased grin as she tossed the hoodie on to the floor. She leaned back and said, “You’ve seen them lots of time before. I’ve always liked showing them off to you. Remember how I used to parade around naked in front of you while you cooked breakfast?” Mia leaned forward and shook her chest at me while laughing naughtily. I was mesmerized by her display. I was overwhelmed by how sexy my sister was. Pretending to be Ginny freed her to act amazingly seductive and alluring.

Mia gave me an exaggerated sad look. “But I won’t be able to have breakfast with you tomorrow. I can’t stay too long, and you’ve got to go to work. Tsk, tsk.” Mia struck a couple of poses to show off her chest to me even more. Then she said coyly, “But you liked to do more than just look at my tits, didn’t you?” Mia grabbed my wrists and raised my hands upward. “You also liked touching them.”

Mia put my hands over her tits. I automatically cupped them. I moaned, “They feel so good.” I squeezed them lightly. “They feel wonderful…Ginny.” I had almost said Mia.
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I'm thinking this scene would work better if change the initial description to "nice-sized tits" and then use vague terms to describe the size of her tits. What do you think?
 
The physical description of the narrator's sister rubs me the wrong way. "She was short at 5’3”, thin and had small tits." It seems leering and disrespectful and unnecessary. I instantly don't like your narrator. In your stories the relationship between brother and sister usually has elements of respect, sweetness, and romance. This description suggests you are headed in a completely different direction, and it makes me wonder whether I'm going to like it.

If I were you I would ditch physical descriptions like this at the outset. Just describe her as petite and having the figure of a gymnast. Everyone knows what that means -- probably small breasts, probably short. Readers can draw their own specific mental pictures.

Save the lewdier and lustier descriptions of sis until later in the story as his feeling for her evolve.

I don't like "nice-sized tits" any more than the other because "tits" seems wrong (I'd use "breasts" if you have to use anything like this) and "nice-sized" is bland and nondescriptive.
 
Simon's advice is spot-on.

Descriptions are so difficult to get just right, enough (preferably small or unusual) detail to intrigue, but not so much to flood the reader's mind. I agree that allusion to a 'gymnast's body' is sufficient, and quite evocative.

Would your sister say 'tits'? If so, that works, otherwise using the terms she would is better. All my friends growing up had sisters who said 'boobs' or 'breasts' (and disliked 'tits') but that may just be a function of my time and place.
 
Mia’s small, nicely rounded mounds stood out proudly from her chest. They were shaped like a section of an orange. Mia’s erect nipples dominated the small, dark ring around them.
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How can she have rounded mounds shaped like a section of an orange? An orange section is wedge-shaped. If you meant half an orange, then you can just leave the sentence out. It's already covered by "rounded mounds."

I know this isn't part of the description you were asking about, but I also have trouble imagining how Mia "silently laughed."
 
There is, I’m pretty sure, a ‘small tits’ niche fetish, but Simon is right, your initial description is not going to earn general approval, not at all.

That doesn’t mean you cannot bring them into the story if there’s a good reason. In my entry for a recent COVID-related contest, Time Out of Time, I wanted to set the FMC as unsatisfied not only with being lonely and isolated by the virus, but also with herself. Early on, I described her thusly:
She caught sight of herself in an old freestanding mirror. She ran the duster over its face, then paused and turned back and forth to examine herself.

She had a fairly cute face, but nothing all that inspiring. Her bright china-blue eyes were her best feature, but the list began there and ended there. Her figure could most kindly be called 'slender'. An A-cup bra was generous for her - when she could be bothered to wear one - and her lack of hips had been her despair since grade-school adolescence. Meh - it was like she'd been on vacation or something when they handed out proper womanly figures.

Not that it matters, she thought to herself, gloomily. It's not like I'm going to meet anybody here in Lockdown Central.
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The thing is, I was able to use that image to springboard the whole thing when she soon after found a man to whom a small bosom didn’t matter. She found happiness as she was, tossing her dissatisfaction with her figure into the garbage. The A-cup also served to cinch a fairly significant magical twist at the conclusion. So my mentioning her small breasts had a purpose and added to the plot - as opposed to just being a throwaway bit of description.


And I fully agree with Yowser’s comments. Sensitivity can be a cringy sort of word, but a big chunk of your readers are female. ‘Tits’ is, I think, generally used by menn most women I know are at least mildly offended by it.

That doesn’t mean you can’t ever say ‘tits’. You just need to use it when it’s appropriate. I did a story, Pictures at an Exhibition, in which a female art student is trying to understand how men view erotic imagery. She and the male character are examining a painting of two topless women. After some discussion, she presses him:
"So, you think they're 'hot'. Why?

"OK. They're very pretty, very toned and," he paused momentarily, "they do have really nice figures."

"'Nice tits' is what you mean," Fiona asked. Jamie looked down to see her grinning broadly.

"OK, yeah. You asked me what I was thinking as a man. So, yeah, 'nice tits'. But..."

"No, that's enough, Jamie. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. But I really do want to understand."
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In context, the term is used humorously and, I think, not only works but also adds to the story.


Bottom line? It’s your story, but I’d use caution with that bit.
 
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Thanks for all the feedback. My thoughts:
* I was expecting some to argue that as I'm writing a erotic fantasy, the FMC should have at least average size breasts, preferably large breasts
* I'm going to change the initial description to "She was 5’3” and slim. The former gymnast look, which she was." I agree with those that said something to effect that that would be enough to imply what her figure is like. It's also a non-sexual description, which is good for early in the story
* I want to get it right, but at the same time I don't think it's hugely important. The description is in the second scene and readers have already somewhat formed their opinion of the main characters. I think readers want a small sketch of what the narrator's love interest looks like. I don't think people read every sentence closely
* SimonDoom wrote "nice-sized" is bland and nondescriptive. Nondescriptive is good in my book as it allows the reader to imagine whatever breast size they wish. I used "nice" exclusively to describe the size of the FMC's breasts in "My Lingerie Loving Sister Moves In". That seemed to work very well in that story
* jsmiam recommended "Perky". I think I'll cut out the size description in the sex scene and use vague terms like "perky" and "nice-sized"
* NotWise wrote I also have trouble imagining how Mia "silently laughed." Mia makes the physical motions of laughing, but doesn't make a sound
* Tarnished Penny quoted a section of her story. I hate the I-looked-in-the-mirror trope and would have found some other way to have the narrator describe herself
* I think there's a huge difference between saying out loud "tits" and thinking "tits". The narrator would have used some other term besides "tits" in a conversation
* I have been persuaded to not use bra size when describing a character. A man is not going to be to able to accurately judge what bra size a women is wearing if she's wearing clothes, and bra sizes vary significantly from manufacturer to manufacturer
 
SimonDoom said:
The physical description of the narrator's sister rubs me the wrong way. "She was short at 5’3”, thin and had small tits." It seems leering and disrespectful and unnecessary. I instantly don't like your narrator. In your stories the relationship between brother and sister usually has elements of respect, sweetness, and romance. This description suggests you are headed in a completely different direction, and it makes me wonder whether I'm going to like it.

If I were you I would ditch physical descriptions like this at the outset. Just describe her as petite and having the figure of a gymnast. Everyone knows what that means -- probably small breasts, probably short. Readers can draw their own specific mental pictures.

Save the lewdier and lustier descriptions of sis until later in the story as his feeling for her evolve.

I don't like "nice-sized tits" any more than the other because "tits" seems wrong (I'd use "breasts" if you have to use anything like this) and "nice-sized" is bland and nondescriptive.
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I'm going to agree, it sounds derogatory to me, certainly not erotic. short, a former gymnast, petite would be a good word. If she's small chested, perky is a good choice...could toss out things like not much more than a mouthful...

short, thin with small tits...that might not even get you anywhere on Tinder. Nah, not really, breathing is good enough on Tinder
 
8letters said:
Thanks for all the feedback. My thoughts:
* I was expecting some to argue that as I'm writing a erotic fantasy, the FMC should have at least average size breasts, preferably large breasts
Click to expand...
Where does this notion even come from, that erotic fantasy automatically assumes "preferably large breasts"? That's a porn trope, surely? Simon doesn't get Citizen Kane, I don't get big tits as a turn on. Give me rosebuds any day.

Suzie looked at EB. "You're just sorting out the movie buffs, aren't you?"

"Yep, and the philistines." ;)
 
electricblue66 said:
Where does this notion even come from, that erotic fantasy automatically assumes "preferably large breasts"? That's a porn trope, surely? Simon doesn't get Citizen Kane, I don't get big tits as a turn on. Give me rosebuds any day.
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Some people have that prejudice. Some don't. I got curious after reading 8letters comment and went searching for a list of the most popular porn stars, because I suspected the list would have some small pairs represented.

There are a lot of those lists (top 10, top 20, top 100) and they're mostly garbage. I found one from Fortune Magazine from early 2018 that described a rational method for constructing the list, so I checked it out. It gave the top twelve (I think it was), and without checking anybody's pictures I could peg two of them as being small-breasted women: Elsa Jean and Riley Reid.

If I actually checked photos, I'd probably find at least one more small-breasted woman on the list. Caprice wasn't even listed, and she's been popular for years now despite bearing (baring?) only about a handful -- or two, really.
 
electricblue66 said:
Where does this notion even come from, that erotic fantasy automatically assumes "preferably large breasts"? ;)
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It doesn't automatically assume that, but I think it's fair to say you are playing to a larger audience when your hot FMC has large breasts as opposed to small.
 
electricblue66 said:
Where does this notion even come from, that erotic fantasy automatically assumes "preferably large breasts"? That's a porn trope, surely? Simon doesn't get Citizen Kane, I don't get big tits as a turn on. Give me rosebuds any day.

Suzie looked at EB. "You're just sorting out the movie buffs, aren't you?"

"Yep, and the philistines." ;)
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Yeah, but which are which?
 
SimonDoom said:
It doesn't automatically assume that, but I think it's fair to say you are playing to a larger audience when your hot FMC has large breasts as opposed to small.
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Are there some form of stats to back that up?

I've never seen a difference in how my stories are received based on the size of my female characters breasts as I write both types.

I think the only people obsessed with boob size are boobs themselves, big, round and very soft.
 
lovecraft68 said:
Are there some form of stats to back that up?

I've never seen a difference in how my stories are received based on the size of my female characters breasts as I write both types.

I think the only people obsessed with boob size are boobs themselves, big, round and very soft.
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That's a marshmallow you're describing there, LC :).
 
I tend to leave details out and let the reader imagine them however they want.

But sometimes it's the little things that are important (no pun intended).

For instance, I usually leave out hair/eye color. Shape/look of their face.

But I feel compelled to mention breast size and nipple color. Those are the kinds of details that readers look for in erotica, in my opinion.

And small breasts have their place, despite big boobs dominating porn. A lot of people like small breasts. And I think it's great to represent each type of body, skin color, race, and breast size for each story.
 
HeyAll said:
I tend to leave details out and let the reader imagine them however they want.

But sometimes it's the little things that are important (no pun intended).

For instance, I usually leave out hair/eye color. Shape/look of their face.
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If I mention hair colour or style, or eye colour (as examples), I do it early for the same reason. In my latest, I'm 10k words in, and one of the female leads - I know she's honey blonde but I've not said it. Too late now: if I say she's blonde, readers will think, whoa, not in my mind she's not.
 
HeyAll said:
I tend to leave details out and let the reader imagine them however they want.

But sometimes it's the little things that are important (no pun intended).

For instance, I usually leave out hair/eye color. Shape/look of their face.

But I feel compelled to mention breast size and nipple color. Those are the kinds of details that readers look for in erotica, in my opinion.

And small breasts have their place, despite big boobs dominating porn. A lot of people like small breasts. And I think it's great to represent each type of body, skin color, race, and breast size for each story.
Click to expand...

You think most women look for breast size and nipple color?
 
HeyAll said:
I tend to leave details out and let the reader imagine them however they want.

But sometimes it's the little things that are important (no pun intended).

For instance, I usually leave out hair/eye color. Shape/look of their face.

But I feel compelled to mention breast size and nipple color. Those are the kinds of details that readers look for in erotica, in my opinion.

And small breasts have their place, despite big boobs dominating porn. A lot of people like small breasts. And I think it's great to represent each type of body, skin color, race, and breast size for each story.
Click to expand...

I tend to use the shade of a woman's nipples, maybe because it's something that I like to know and it appeals to me

I never use stats, I'll say ample...let the reader decide what that is as they create their mental image.

And if we're getting into facts, women's breasts, like women themselves, have a variety of shapes sizes and factors. Two women could be a 34c but not be the same size, many women complain of being in between the standard cup sizes etc...so technically you're still not getting it down right, but maybe the reader who needs the sizes doesn't think that much.
 
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