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Old 11-27-2017, 01:21 PM   #1
kurrginatorX is offline
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 62
My Transgender Lover: First submitted poem


Feedback appreciated. Rating as well.
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Old 11-27-2017, 09:02 PM   #2
Gerund Whore
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UnderYourSpell is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 14,818
I've never seen 'Quid Pro Quo' written as 'Quo Pro Quid' before, does it take on a different meaning when used backwards?.
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 03-21-2018, 08:35 PM   #3
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JCSTREET is offline
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Location: Tailwaters of Lake Ontario
Posts: 1,727
It's really quite exceptional

Originally Posted by kurrginatorX View Post

Feedback appreciated. Rating as well.
There's a fluidity that carries the reader along as if swept on a torrent

This verse:

"She leads me to an altar, I succumb
I give myself to her, to her caress
Though trepidation fills my mind, my loins
My actions now are free from all duress:
I take her lips to mine, I feel her breasts
I let her be the man she deigns to be
Then softly (yet enthused) at her behest
I give her what it is she seeks from me"

Is quite brilliant. You effectively mirror the dilemma that although this encounter has filled your thoughts and led to avid masturbation in the past, the reality is intimidating, as it would naturally be for most who hadn't already broken their cherry at a university pride dance and just cried "away all care . . . landlord, yet another wine.

It's a terrific snapshot of that curious amalgam of excitement and dread which attends a taboo tryst and many readers will need to take a personal break after reading.

You've done it, son written a blinder as they say in the North of England - up there in the Danegeld

“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them and women are afraid that men will kill them.” — Margaret Atwood

The problem with sex in the movies is that the popcorn usually spills.
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