Originally Posted by pillum
My contention is that there is no such thing as making love when having sex, it's all just fucking, though a lot (I hope most) of it is fucking in a loving and caring way. Making love is a great prequel to sex, whether it be pleasuring a partners body or their mind foreplay works, but when penetration is initiated we are just another species of animal, though we are the luckiest species in that we have the most pleasure centers both physical and sensual, that's about it.
So you're saying that there's lust, and then there's "making love" and the twain don't meet except during foreplay? And that if there's no penetration, there's no lust? I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around that one.
I've no doubt that lust can be an end of its own, and that once the sex gets hot and heavy, romance takes a back seat. But my succumbing to the act of lust is in itself an act of love, because I'm showing my lover a side that I don't show everybody. That's an important component for me. Maybe it's not love, maybe it's trust, but those two things are not easily separable in my psyche.
As for Jehoram's comment, I generally agree with that. Extramarital sex can be damaging if not approached with absolute honesty and respect for boundaries, but I've seen relationships where there there is a great deal of affection for the "mistress" as well as the wife. The only difference was that one woman had a piece of paper, and the other one didn't.