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Old 11-25-2017, 08:53 AM   #26
Bramblethorn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SimonDoom View Post
Bramblethorn, would you describe your feelings for those you date outside your main relationship as love or something less? Or are the extra-relationship relathhionships just about fucking or something like That? To clarify my comment above, the latter doesn't seem strange to me; it's the former that's hard for me to imagine sustaining.
Depends which relationship we're talking about. There was one that would be better described as a fling between friends, but the others? Yeah, I'd describe them as "love". We went to museums and galleries and geeked out together, saw (bits of) the world, looked out for one another in rough times, and told one another "I love you". And sometimes got our hearts broken when it didn't work out. I reckon that counts.

Honestly the emotional part of loving more than one person at the same time isn't hard, at least not for me. It's the scheduling that's a killer.
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Old 11-25-2017, 09:50 AM   #27
pillum
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We're nothing but mammals.

My contention is that there is no such thing as making love when having sex, it's all just fucking, though a lot (I hope most) of it is fucking in a loving and caring way. Making love is a great prequel to sex, whether it be pleasuring a partners body or their mind foreplay works, but when penetration is initiated we are just another species of animal, though we are the luckiest species in that we have the most pleasure centers both physical and sensual, that's about it.
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Old 11-26-2017, 02:14 PM   #28
jehoram
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Originally Posted by Hypoxia View Post
In reality, families and lives or at least trust are shattered.
I'm sure that happens a lot. But not 100% of the time. In my experience, about 10% of those relationships don't shatter families or even trust, although the trust does get tested.

Polygamy has been around for thousands of years. I can't believe that the guy had a loving relationship with just one wife, and just fucked the others for fun. In a culture where monogamy is the law, we are required to believe in a society where there's only one true licit love possible. Screw that.
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Old 11-26-2017, 06:23 PM   #29
Athalia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pillum View Post
My contention is that there is no such thing as making love when having sex, it's all just fucking, though a lot (I hope most) of it is fucking in a loving and caring way. Making love is a great prequel to sex, whether it be pleasuring a partners body or their mind foreplay works, but when penetration is initiated we are just another species of animal, though we are the luckiest species in that we have the most pleasure centers both physical and sensual, that's about it.
So you're saying that there's lust, and then there's "making love" and the twain don't meet except during foreplay? And that if there's no penetration, there's no lust? I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around that one.

I've no doubt that lust can be an end of its own, and that once the sex gets hot and heavy, romance takes a back seat. But my succumbing to the act of lust is in itself an act of love, because I'm showing my lover a side that I don't show everybody. That's an important component for me. Maybe it's not love, maybe it's trust, but those two things are not easily separable in my psyche.

As for Jehoram's comment, I generally agree with that. Extramarital sex can be damaging if not approached with absolute honesty and respect for boundaries, but I've seen relationships where there there is a great deal of affection for the "mistress" as well as the wife. The only difference was that one woman had a piece of paper, and the other one didn't.
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