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Old 11-19-2017, 12:33 AM   #1
Reyhoney
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Help explain this?

Sorry.

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Old 11-19-2017, 01:15 AM   #2
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This is probably Bullshit.

If it's not, then you can safely say he has some form of sociophobia or even mild schizophrenia.

No ammount of rough sex makes you love your partner less or feel less attachment to them. First and foremost, your sex life and your relationship are kind of independent in a way. Of course they go together, but no matter what you do in bed and how hardcore it is - the way that the relationship progresses between two people stays pretty much the same.

There are hardcore 24/7 slave-master pairs who really take rought sex to the next level. There are punishments, strictness that borders cruelty, rough sex, of course. But guess what? Those people still love each other, and still get married. Even when they practice hardcore power exchange they go to movies and restaurants on dates, they meet with friends and spend time together.
Sex can never overshadow love, no matter how rough it is.

BDSM doesn't mean lack of love. Some of us like to hurt each other, some like to be hurt - both mentally, emotionally or indeed physically. Some like degradation, humiliation, other emotional stuff.
There are also pairs who do this mainly for sex. There are such friends with benefits for vanilla too.
But all the people who are into all of those things - they love and want to be loved. The most cruel of Masters wants some love in his life too, and he does feel deep affection and love towards a quivering and crying slave whom he currently beats with a whip. He does it not because he doesn't love - but because he knows this works bet for both.

The lack of love and empathy, dulled emotions - are one of main signs of sociopathy and schizophrenia.

Now, I really don't like to give advices like "Leave him, he's not worth you". Because we know only a tiny sliver of a situation here - a 250 word long post by you. But what he said is definitely a HUGE red flag.

Let's face it head on. He basically said he doesn't love you and is sticking around only for sex. At least that's what it sounds like from your words. Note, that if he was into you at all emotionally, he would have no problem saying he loved you too - it's not a marriage proposal after all.
There's a tiny sliver of chance that there are some odd prejudices in his head about True Love and not using this word lightly, blah-blah. But this doesn't sound like it. It sounds like he really is just around for sex.

What I'd ask myself - do you want to stay with such person?
Even if it WAS because of rough sex - DO you want to stay with a person who doesn't love you? Who numbs his feelings of love and affection in favor of a fuck?
I wouldn't. I'd break up, IF it was really the situation I have in my head.
What's your goals? Do you want to get married, a happy family (with a bit of rough fuckery)? If yes, then this man clearly doesn't sound like anything you should waste your precious time on.

I'm not giving you any direct advice. Because the situation would be clearly much more complicated than can fit in 250 words. I'm giving you things to think about, but only you, in your situation, having all the information - can make a choice.

If you have any further questions - the people here will answer any of them.

Good luck! I'm sure you'll find happiness as long as you don't sit on one place!
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Old 11-19-2017, 01:20 AM   #3
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The guy I was seeing and I have been having a lot of rough sex, heís always been dominant but his ex gfs never wanted any of it. He would talk so big about all the things he wanted to do. He seemed almost obsessed.

Fast forward to recently we took a vacation and after a few drinks I told him I loved him. He was completely thrown off and shellshocked. I donít think he expected it and he said heís not there or at that level. He explained that he didnít feel that spark or chemistry because of the level of rough sex we were having was too much for him that he had to numb his feelings for me in order to do it.

Is he just giving me any BS excuse or is there any truth to this? I canít help but think I was set up to fail because even when weíd talk about sex, itís all he talked about.
Rey, this following on from previous things you've said is just going to lead to me (and I'm sure the other good women who'll comment below) saying ... walk away. You really deserve better than this. Trust me, if you're enjoying the rough sex, you'll find a guy whose into that who isn't an emotional dwarf. IMO, he's using the sex as an excuse to avoid emotional commitment.
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Old 11-19-2017, 01:28 AM   #4
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To follow up on what Kim said, I think most of the guys can be into rough sex. BDSM is not for everyone, but rough fuckery is kind of instinctive in a way, so I'd say 90% of men will never be against it if you ask.
In fact, many men have to learn to hold themselves back and be more gentle, because that's what many women want.
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Old 11-19-2017, 01:48 AM   #5
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Thank you both! Very good points there. And thank you for actually remembering my previous posts.

We did end it. I feel like weíve reached the end for the time being. Thereís nothing more I could give to him, I gave him a 100% of me as best of my abilities. This is actually our second breakup again because he showed insecurity and uncommitment and then apologized saying heís ready for whatever is ahead.

Also how could he not feel that spark when the entire vacation he was all over me and very touchy feely. I donít buy it. He just heard those words and choked. He said what he felt was just comfort and intimacy because itís a routine comfortable relationship now. After that he cried the entire evening wanting to hold me.

If he wants fireworks every day, then good luck with that, he may as well go live in Disney world cause itís a fantasy.

I think I better just lick my wounds and move on.
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Old 11-19-2017, 01:53 AM   #6
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You'll be fine. Eat a lot of chocolate, sleep a bit, watch some shit movies, cry a bit, find a nice guy on here to chat with ... seriously, if a guy wants to spit on your face but says he 'deliberately numbs' himself in order to do so (or whatever twaddle he came up with), he's ... well, obviously you're quite fond of him, so I won't be mean. But there's better men out there. In the mean time, there's wine!
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Old 11-19-2017, 02:32 AM   #7
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I saw your later post, Reyhoney, and that you broke things off. I'm sorry you're hurting, but it'll get better. Be kind to yourself.

This might be a little off-topic, but whatever.

I'd also like to say a few things about love and kink. One doesn't exclude another, but having one and not the other also doesn't mean there's something wrong with the person(s) or the relationship.

Some people like to compartmentalize things and do kinky shit with people they don't have romantic feelings with. It's completely fine. It might make handling guilt or other mixed feelings for all the nasty things they do easier. There can be chemistry on a sexual level even if there is none of that on a romantic level.

And it still doesn't mean the person(s) involved are weird, broken, borderline schizophrenic or anything like that. Or that they don't care about the well-being of the person(s) they're playing with. It just means that they're not romantically interested in them.

I'm guessing explaining it as "I have to numb my romantic feelings" might seem easier especially for someone who's new to the game than admitting that they're simply doing something to get their rocks off.

Love and romance definitely change the dynamic of a relationship. I've been involved in a dynamic where we've both loved each other, where I've deeply loved the other person and not had those feelings reciprocated and in a dynamic where at best our relationship beyond kink was what you'd expect from two people who are randomly seated next to each other on a long distance flight: you make a little small talk but that's about it.

Each of these relationships has provided me a chance to explore different aspects of kinks on an emotional level. Especially loving someone who doesn't love me back, but is willing to grope me and choke me (even after me being open about my feelings and vice versa) was an intense headtrip for an emotional masochist such as myself. I'm not the strongest of communicators, but in cases of catching the feels I've noticed it's usually the best to be open about it and let the chips fall as they may.

I realize it's not everybody's cup of tea and I'm definitely not trying to say that anybody should stay in a relationship that doesn't fulfill them, but I seriously have issues with the concept that love and emotions should be a part of a BDSM relationship or beware sociopathy and schizophrenia.

I'd also like to state again that this is in no way directed at Reyhoney. Mere general musings about love and BDSM prompted by the topic.
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Old 11-19-2017, 02:54 AM   #8
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After that he cried the entire evening wanting to hold me.
Don't let him get under your skin with pity and misery. He'll just have to numb his feelings some more. Don't let him worm his way back in by meaningless apologies or crying on your doorstep.

As for yourself - I wish you best of luck. I wish you to find a man who will take care of you and all of your needs, who will share your feelings.
Good luck!
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Old 11-19-2017, 03:07 AM   #9
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I saw your later post, Reyhoney, and that you broke things off. I'm sorry you're hurting, but it'll get better. Be kind to yourself.

This might be a little off-topic, but whatever.

I'd also like to say a few things about love and kink. One doesn't exclude another, but having one and not the other also doesn't mean there's something wrong with the person(s) or the relationship.

Some people like to compartmentalize things and do kinky shit with people they don't have romantic feelings with. It's completely fine. It might make handling guilt or other mixed feelings for all the nasty things they do easier. There can be chemistry on a sexual level even if there is none of that on a romantic level.

And it still doesn't mean the person(s) involved are weird, broken, borderline schizophrenic or anything like that. Or that they don't care about the well-being of the person(s) they're playing with. It just means that they're not romantically interested in them.

I'm guessing explaining it as "I have to numb my romantic feelings" might seem easier especially for someone who's new to the game than admitting that they're simply doing something to get their rocks off.

Love and romance definitely change the dynamic of a relationship. I've been involved in a dynamic where we've both loved each other, where I've deeply loved the other person and not had those feelings reciprocated and in a dynamic where at best our relationship beyond kink was what you'd expect from two people who are randomly seated next to each other on a long distance flight: you make a little small talk but that's about it.

Each of these relationships has provided me a chance to explore different aspects of kinks on an emotional level. Especially loving someone who doesn't love me back, but is willing to grope me and choke me (even after me being open about my feelings and vice versa) was an intense headtrip for an emotional masochist such as myself. I'm not the strongest of communicators, but in cases of catching the feels I've noticed it's usually the best to be open about it and let the chips fall as they may.

I realize it's not everybody's cup of tea and I'm definitely not trying to say that anybody should stay in a relationship that doesn't fulfill them, but I seriously have issues with the concept that love and emotions should be a part of a BDSM relationship or beware sociopathy and schizophrenia.

I'd also like to state again that this is in no way directed at Reyhoney. Mere general musings about love and BDSM prompted by the topic.
These are good points. I guess I struggle to imagine trusting someone enough for any bdsm-reated stuff if I didn't feel some sort of other connection ... but of course, that's just me and the way I do things. And maybe that'll change for me (enough other things have certainly changed that I know nothing's certain).

I think for Rey, this guy just sounded like he was having problems being emotionally honest fullstop, regardless of whatever sort of sex they were having. But I also know that when you find someone that you have kinky sex with for (I think it is) the first time, it's easy to think you'll never have that with anyone again ... I know I've certainly felt like that at times. So maybe we put up with stuff we wouldn't brook in a more 'vanilla' relationship.
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Old 11-19-2017, 09:01 AM   #10
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What truly confused me is the way he was treating me outside of the bedroom. Constantly holding me, my hand, kissing my hands, my forehead, pulling me to him if we are standing anywhere, wanting to hold me after sex and fall asleep holding me. Even when weíd just be talking his eyes would well up and heíd say things like how he just wants me to enjoy today and be happy.

And I forgot to mention that after my love ďdeclarationĒ and all his crying he said that maybe on another deeper level I do love you, then a bit later he said I do love you, just not enough. Then the rest of the day he kept whispering I love you which just did nothing but confuse and hurt me.

He said when we would kiss that was when I felt so emotionally connected to you, as if I was pouring my soul into you. To me, that means that the chemistry and spark have nothing to do with it.

I donít think he knows what he needs or wants, or having a conflict between his head and his heart? Iím not sure. Confused people confuse.
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Old 11-19-2017, 09:18 AM   #11
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And I forgot to mention that after my love ďdeclarationĒ and all his crying he said that maybe on another deeper level I do love you, then a bit later he said I do love you, just not enough. Then the rest of the day he kept whispering I love you which just did nothing but confuse and hurt me.

He said when we would kiss that was when I felt so emotionally connected to you, as if I was pouring my soul into you.
To me, this sounds like he was steadily going from what he truly felt to more and more lies. That in the beginning he just said what he really felt, and thought you'd accept it. WHen you didn't, he became worried of losing you, so he went from "not loving you" to "loving you not enough" to simply telling you he loves you.

In my mind that sounds like a confused man who desperately is trying to find some hook to keep you, to say something that you WANT TO HEAR that will undo his previous fuck-up.

As for holding your hand and liking physical contact - that doesn't really apply to love exclusively. He could simply physically enjoy having you near him (which all men do, with all women), and he simply kept doing it.
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Old 11-19-2017, 09:02 PM   #12
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I don't recommend giving any quarter.

Sounds like he isn't right.

Fuck him off. It's not easy, I know, but sometimes you have to.
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Old 11-19-2017, 09:16 PM   #13
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Hey, Rey.
I canít add to what the others have advised, but Iím glad you got rid of him.
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Old 11-19-2017, 11:17 PM   #14
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I really canít thank you all enough for the support and encouragement. It really made me realize that this didnít just fall apart because of just me like he made it sound. I was going crazy blaming myself and thinking if only I had done better.

I made mistakes and those mistakes were me not standing up to myself, and not telling him what I need too. I wonít dwell on self pity though, like you all said Iíll learn so I can do better in the next relationship.

Again, thank you to each and everyone here who helped and comforted me.

Love to all.
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Old 11-20-2017, 12:27 AM   #15
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I really canít thank you all enough for the support and encouragement. It really made me realize that this didnít just fall apart because of just me like he made it sound. I was going crazy blaming myself and thinking if only I had done better.

I made mistakes and those mistakes were me not standing up to myself, and not telling him what I need too. I wonít dwell on self pity though, like you all said Iíll learn so I can do better in the next relationship.

Again, thank you to each and everyone here who helped and comforted me.

Love to all.
((((Reyhoney))))

yup. move on. learn these hard lessons. but do not carry the burdens this man would put upon you. you do not deserve to carry them.
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Old 11-21-2017, 09:57 AM   #16
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I'm a guy and I'll tell you, from what little bit you shared, he's full of shit..Spark or chemistry often happens before sex even comes into play, if anything rough sex would make you even closer if thats what he was really into, he may be full of shit about that too..
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Old 11-21-2017, 11:54 AM   #17
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I'm a guy and I'll tell you, from what little bit you shared, he's full of shit..Spark or chemistry often happens before sex even comes into play, if anything rough sex would make you even closer if thats what he was really into, he may be full of shit about that too..
Agreed! The man's a plonker.
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Old 11-21-2017, 04:42 PM   #18
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You guys are all right. I deserve someone who is strong enough to tell me the truth and not excuses.
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Old 12-18-2017, 06:18 PM   #19
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I wanted to update on things. After these awful things went down we completely stopped talking, I even changed my phone number and deleted him everywhere. 5 weeks later he emailed me. He was apologizing and taking responsibility for his mistakes and hoped Iíd forgive him.

Then he explained what he meant by numbing his feelings. He said he thought heíd love to be rough with me, as rough as he always used to talk about all macho and big but after we actually did it he realized that he didnít like it. That because of his feelings for me, he had to shut his cause it was hurting him to think heís hurting me. That heís more sensitive about it than he thought he was. It got to him. He said I wish I was more sincere and just told you without feeling too emasculated for saying it. He said when weíd have the more gentle slower sex it felt so different in a special genuine and good way.

I told him Iím moving on and healing and thanks for everything and he said even though it hurts thinking Iím moving on, heís happy for me.

Is all that some new BS? Could it be true? I havenít replied to his email again and I wonít, but I do want to know for my own peace of mind if he could be telling the truth now.
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Old 12-18-2017, 06:58 PM   #20
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Once bullshit...always bullshit. Nothing has changed.
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Old 12-18-2017, 07:05 PM   #21
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Once bullshit...always bullshit. Nothing has changed.
Agree 100%.

And if he is telling the truth why do you want someone who takes that long to realize things?
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Old 12-18-2017, 07:13 PM   #22
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Agree 100%.

And if he is telling the truth why do you want someone who takes that long to realize things?
I donít. I just wanted to know if this is yet another lie.
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Old 12-18-2017, 07:45 PM   #23
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The reason he's emailing you is to see if he can still abuse you. He hasn't found another victim yet so he thinks by playing on your emotions and apologizing he might get you to go back to him. That way he'll be able to keep abusing you without expending any additional effort.

For good measure I'd change the email account too and make it a clean sweep. All it takes is one "read receipt" and he'll know you still have the same email address and are still around to try to victimize some more (or harass).

Dump his ass forever.
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Old 12-18-2017, 08:55 PM   #24
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The reason he's emailing you is to see if he can still abuse you. He hasn't found another victim yet so he thinks by playing on your emotions and apologizing he might get you to go back to him. That way he'll be able to keep abusing you without expending any additional effort.

For good measure I'd change the email account too and make it a clean sweep. All it takes is one "read receipt" and he'll know you still have the same email address and are still around to try to victimize some more (or harass).

Dump his ass forever.
I would but changing an email is such a hassle! Also he could send all the emails he wants, it can never ever take back the hurt he caused.
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Old 12-18-2017, 10:27 PM   #25
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The guy I was seeing and I have been having a lot of rough sex, heís always been dominant but his ex gfs never wanted any of it. He would talk so big about all the things he wanted to do. He seemed almost obsessed.

Fast forward to recently we took a vacation and after a few drinks I told him I loved him. He was completely thrown off and shellshocked. I donít think he expected it and he said heís not there or at that level. He explained that he didnít feel that spark or chemistry because of the level of rough sex we were having was too much for him that he had to numb his feelings for me in order to do it.

Is he just giving me any BS excuse or is there any truth to this? I canít help but think I was set up to fail because even when weíd talk about sex, itís all he talked about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reyhoney View Post
I wanted to update on things. After these awful things went down we completely stopped talking, I even changed my phone number and deleted him everywhere. 5 weeks later he emailed me. He was apologizing and taking responsibility for his mistakes and hoped Iíd forgive him.

Then he explained what he meant by numbing his feelings. He said he thought heíd love to be rough with me, as rough as he always used to talk about all macho and big but after we actually did it he realized that he didnít like it. That because of his feelings for me, he had to shut his cause it was hurting him to think heís hurting me. That heís more sensitive about it than he thought he was. It got to him. He said I wish I was more sincere and just told you without feeling too emasculated for saying it. He said when weíd have the more gentle slower sex it felt so different in a special genuine and good way.

I told him Iím moving on and healing and thanks for everything and he said even though it hurts thinking Iím moving on, heís happy for me.

Is all that some new BS? Could it be true? I havenít replied to his email again and I wonít, but I do want to know for my own peace of mind if he could be telling the truth now.
I may be off base here...but: It seems to me that he's told you the same story consistently. Plus, it appears that he was kinda ashamed that he wasn't what he pretended to be in regard to being Dominant. In other words, it doesn't appear to be a shut and closed case that he had a preconceived plan to take advantage of anyone.

This be as it may, the real question becomes; Do you really love him? Can you see a relationship where maybe he isn't Mr.D ?

In my experience, honesty with an intimate partner is one of the hardest things to become comfortable with with. Truth and honesty is far more revealing than nudity and even intercourse...it's hard! I don't know anything about you guys age or experience really, but if you're both rather young and inexperienced I can see where he might have been really unsure and embarrassed about it all.

Bottom line is that you should listen to your gut instincts in regard to just walking away. If rough sex is really important to your happiness, then maybe it's not worth pursuing, since he's 'fessed up about his fantasy. But if there are sincere feelings of mutual love, then maybe that's also important? PLEASE IGNORE all of this if it does not resonate or ring true to your gut feelings! I do not know anything about you, or this relationship, except what's in this thread.
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[ My own little definition of love: The phrase- "In Love" falls short, I think. Love may begin with an attraction, but it is much more than just attraction...Love is an offering from one to the other. It is a mutual offering and receiving of honesty, vulnerability, mutual care, etc...I offer my love to you, if you receive that love and offer yours to me in return, we have entered into a cycle of mutual love. The cycle continues, and love grows stronger and stronger through the years, so long as we both continue to offer and receive all that Love entails. When either person breaks that cycle, then the shared love has died.]
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