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Old 11-07-2017, 10:11 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by LiamHDunn View Post
To RH's point, I'm not sure the skills needed to be a successful on-line PYL are the same as this needed to play in real time/ face to face.
In either case, the decisive requirement for a longterm PYL is a willingness to work at cultivating effective communication.
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Old 11-07-2017, 10:43 AM   #27
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In either case, the decisive requirement for a longterm PYL is a willingness to work at cultivating effective communication.
Where is the"LIKE" button?
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Old 11-09-2017, 03:44 PM   #28
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Where is the"LIKE" button?
Well, You know, even a broken squirrel with a clock finds a blind nut twice a day.
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Old 11-09-2017, 03:47 PM   #29
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Well, You know, even a broken squirrel with a clock finds a blind nut twice a day.
Are you ok?
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Old 11-09-2017, 05:54 PM   #30
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This thread is so good on many wonderful levels.
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Old 11-10-2017, 07:04 PM   #31
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This thread is so good on many wonderful levels.
I'm glad you love this thread!
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Old 11-12-2017, 10:25 AM   #32
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What would make someone a "true" dom?
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Old 11-12-2017, 04:35 PM   #33
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What would make someone a "true" dom?
A "true" dom:

writes to me in the third person. (How is this girl doing today?)

writes the word "we" like this: W/we had fun last night.

insists I carry his bag when I meet him at his car and we head to the hotel room. Because sir said so.

tells me to go braless with a tight shirt and no panties with a short skirt. Heels, of course. But, you know, be classy. And he shows up in sweats and a hoody.

describes in his kinky "ad" he wants a true fuckmeat painslut who will be put in a cage when she's done being useful. Usually he's 55+ and requests 18-30.

demands he chooses what I wear, which is the cliche short skirt high heels. (I swear, that's part of why I married my guy. He loved that I wore big sweaters and long skirts and doc marten boots. Oh, the fun he had putting me in a rope harness when we wentout or freshly cropped nipples rubbing against a big wool sweater)

insists I call him sir after every sentence. And we just met.

Hey - in all seriousness - whatever floats your boat. If any of these things is in a person's bdsm tool box, that's fine. They're just not in mine.

A true dom is just a person who inspires another person or persons to follow or submit. What's true for one person won't be true for another.

There's a thread somewhere about what is a true submissive? It - as a lot of Talk threads seem to do - jumped the rails toward the end.
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Old 11-12-2017, 05:08 PM   #34
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Hey - in all seriousness - whatever floats your boat. If any of these things is in a person's bdsm tool box, that's fine. They're just not in mine.

A true dom is just a person who inspires another person or persons to follow or submit. What's true for one person won't be true for another.

There's a thread somewhere about what is a true submissive? It - as a lot of Talk threads seem to do - jumped the rails toward the end.
Found it I think... See link below:

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1442894
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Old 11-12-2017, 05:22 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
A "true" dom:

writes to me in the third person. (How is this girl doing today?)

writes the word "we" like this: W/we had fun last night.

insists I carry his bag when I meet him at his car and we head to the hotel room. Because sir said so.

tells me to go braless with a tight shirt and no panties with a short skirt. Heels, of course. But, you know, be classy. And he shows up in sweats and a hoody.

describes in his kinky "ad" he wants a true fuckmeat painslut who will be put in a cage when she's done being useful. Usually he's 55+ and requests 18-30.

demands he chooses what I wear, which is the cliche short skirt high heels. (I swear, that's part of why I married my guy. He loved that I wore big sweaters and long skirts and doc marten boots. Oh, the fun he had putting me in a rope harness when we wentout or freshly cropped nipples rubbing against a big wool sweater)

insists I call him sir after every sentence. And we just met.

Hey - in all seriousness - whatever floats your boat. If any of these things is in a person's bdsm tool box, that's fine. They're just not in mine.

A true dom is just a person who inspires another person or persons to follow or submit. What's true for one person won't be true for another.

There's a thread somewhere about what is a true submissive? It - as a lot of Talk threads seem to do - jumped the rails toward the end.
Inspires another person to submit.
Love that.
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Old 11-12-2017, 05:37 PM   #36
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Originally Posted by Farawyn View Post
Inspires another person to submit.
Love that.
I do, too!
*fond memories*
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Old 11-13-2017, 10:16 AM   #37
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OK, I have to ask, what is the knock around enjoying playing dress up with your sub?
Is it a generally bad thing on Lit? Or us it a personal experience thing?

I enjoy dressing my playmate, but I also enjoy spending money on her to make sure the clothes I select make her feel special and beautiful.
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Old 11-13-2017, 11:04 AM   #38
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Originally Posted by LiamHDunn View Post
OK, I have to ask, what is the knock around enjoying playing dress up with your sub?
Is it a generally bad thing on Lit? Or us it a personal experience thing?

I enjoy dressing my playmate, but I also enjoy spending money on her to make sure the clothes I select make her feel special and beautiful.
Itís not entirely a bad thing. As Cookie pointed out though, itís often cliche and so very predictable. What seems to be the standard for what a lot of guys find sexy (short skirt, no panties or bra with heels) tends to not make me feel sexy. Thatís not my version of sexy, that to me, looks trashy.

I have no problem playing dress up. I really like when he wants me to wear something specific, or not specific but with guidelines. What I donít like is wearing something so far from my own style I just feel completely unhappy with the look. Some people really like the short skirt. I donít.
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Old 11-13-2017, 11:07 AM   #39
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Originally Posted by BeautifulBlueSky218 View Post
I've talked to a few people on here who claimed to be Dom's. However when I did speak to them, they didn't know much about the lifestyle and I could tell that they were fakes.

Is Experienced Dom's hard to find?

Over the years I've been learning about the lifestyle and one thing that I seem to like is how their never ashamed on what satisfies them.

Before I realized I was a true sub, I remember I was so ashamed by what aroused me and had a hard time talking about it with anyone. Now I simply on share it on here and it certainly has helped a lot.
My thinking is their busy and only the want- to- bes are talking with you.

No not a Dom but a slut lover OH Yes!
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Old 11-13-2017, 03:24 PM   #40
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Itís not entirely a bad thing. As Cookie pointed out though, itís often cliche and so very predictable. What seems to be the standard for what a lot of guys find sexy (short skirt, no panties or bra with heels) tends to not make me feel sexy. Thatís not my version of sexy, that to me, looks trashy.

I have no problem playing dress up. I really like when he wants me to wear something specific, or not specific but with guidelines. What I donít like is wearing something so far from my own style I just feel completely unhappy with the look. Some people really like the short skirt. I donít.
Exactly, I think she has to really feel good in and about it.

I believe that it's truthful to say that when I have taken a playmate shopping, with few exceptions, I have never said "You're getting this". It's always, "show me choices of things that make you feel sexy." From there, I may or may not encourage her to try something on if I think she want to, but for is reluctant for some reason. "Good girls don't dress that way", us an example. But if it's just about my wish fulfillment and not the enhancement of her self image, or ego or confidence, or what have you, then I think it's the dirt if thing you address.

I will confess to putting a girl in a shirt skirt a time or two, but only when the setting or activity was appropriate.
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Old 11-13-2017, 03:41 PM   #41
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Exactly, I think she has to really feel good in and about it.

I believe that it's truthful to say that when I have taken a playmate shopping, with few exceptions, I have never said "You're getting this". It's always, "show me choices of things that make you feel sexy." From there, I may or may not encourage her to try something on if I think she want to, but for is reluctant for some reason. "Good girls don't dress that way", us an example. But if it's just about my wish fulfillment and not the enhancement of her self image, or ego or confidence, or what have you, then I think it's the dirt if thing you address.

I will confess to putting a girl in a shirt skirt a time or two, but only when the setting or activity was appropriate.
Sometimes we hesitate because we want to know what he likes, we want to please, and wearing the item, knowing he likes it, gives us confidence.

I will admit, going into a store to show him what I liked had me blushing, but I love to shop together online to get ideas.
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Old 11-13-2017, 05:19 PM   #42
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Originally Posted by Owwee View Post
My thinking is their busy and only the want- to- bes are talking with you.

No not a Dom but a slut lover OH Yes!
There's a difference between being a slut and being a sub. Being one, does not necessarily mean a person is the other. Not saying You per say but lot's of people make that erroneous assumption.
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Old 11-13-2017, 06:07 PM   #43
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Originally Posted by barefootgirl69 View Post
Sometimes we hesitate because we want to know what he likes, we want to please, and wearing the item, knowing he likes it, gives us confidence.

I will admit, going into a store to show him what I liked had me blushing, but I love to shop together online to get ideas.
The hesitation is why it is imperative to get to know one another, to always communicate, communicate, communicate, before you every start seriously playing.

And, for me, knowing that she is made confident by the item, that makes it all the more worth the efforts.

As to the shopping, on line is a good start, but nothing tops taking her to a larger city with a fashion district and taking her into the stores for the treatment she will receive from the staff. To watch her treated like a princess, knowing that later, you will treat her much differently, and she will love both.
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Old 11-13-2017, 06:22 PM   #44
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Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
A "true" dom:
tells me to go braless with a tight shirt and no panties with a short skirt. Heels, of course. But, you know, be classy. And he shows up in sweats and a hoody.

insists I call him sir after every sentence. And we just met.
I love these two!
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Old 11-13-2017, 06:37 PM   #45
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I love these two!
I might be speaking from experience.
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Old 11-13-2017, 07:00 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by cookiecat View Post
A "true" dom:

writes to me in the third person. (How is this girl doing today?)

writes the word "we" like this: W/we had fun last night.

insists I carry his bag when I meet him at his car and we head to the hotel room. Because sir said so.

tells me to go braless with a tight shirt and no panties with a short skirt. Heels, of course. But, you know, be classy. And he shows up in sweats and a hoody.

describes in his kinky "ad" he wants a true fuckmeat painslut who will be put in a cage when she's done being useful. Usually he's 55+ and requests 18-30.

demands he chooses what I wear, which is the cliche short skirt high heels. (I swear, that's part of why I married my guy. He loved that I wore big sweaters and long skirts and doc marten boots. Oh, the fun he had putting me in a rope harness when we wentout or freshly cropped nipples rubbing against a big wool sweater)

insists I call him sir after every sentence. And we just met.
*puts this post in a glass case and hangs it on the wall*
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Old 11-13-2017, 09:24 PM   #47
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.......................

Last edited by cuckoldbob : 11-14-2017 at 09:34 AM.
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Old 11-13-2017, 09:28 PM   #48
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Are you ok?
Not really: Iím two bricks shy of the sharpest tool in the belfry.

But Cookieís post has helped me rise from the ashes like a canary in a land mine.
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Old 11-13-2017, 09:48 PM   #49
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Heh heh!

I just had a comment on a profile elsewhere from a guy enjoying my other stories.
He said "I'm a master myself."

Looking at his profile, he's this gamer type guy, looks about 22 with thick glasses, a schoolboy complexion and I think about hair 17 on his lip. O Great Master.
A Master Gamer... who'd a thought!
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Old 11-13-2017, 11:24 PM   #50
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I got this great email on the dating site I'm on yesterday:

"Sorry I don't know who Kim Gordon is!

Though I am a Dom and looking for a sub that I do know..

Have you ever been a sub?"

No indication of any aspect of my rather lengthy (I know, surprising for me) profile that made him think we might be compatible - a profile that also doesn't mention bdsm, or even kink in any shape or form.
I just never know how to respond to things like that ... 'Totally! Why don't you break out the handcuffs and I'll be right over'?
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