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Old 10-28-2017, 06:16 PM   #1
DavidKim
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Poems in 5 minutes or less

Here's one I just did... like or not like... give a 5 minute poem a try.

The autumn air was chilled as it often is in old New England
It was night, as he began his walk home after a drink with friends
Cutting through the park seemed a good idea, save some steps
As he made his way a figure under the old willow tree caught his eye
'Good evening' the soft feminine voice said from the dark
'Hello, cool evening' was his only reply as he stopped to take her in
The dark could hide much of what was there, still he could see the form
She was short, lean with raven hair and eyes dark on their whites
She offered her hand as a lady would, soft and tender with a dark lace
She was cold to touch, and silent now as he held it for a kiss to its back
In a breath, a kiss, a whisper she was gone, a feather in her hands place
From the willow high up he heard the 'caw' so familiar we all know
For she was just a crow, blessed with a moment for this man to know

Last edited by DavidKim : 10-28-2017 at 08:06 PM.
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Old 10-28-2017, 07:25 PM   #2
UnderYourSpell
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That to me is prose with line breaks but carry on
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
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Old 10-28-2017, 07:44 PM   #3
DavidKim
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
That to me is prose with line breaks but carry on
Absolutely! The idea is to put the thoughts down in 5 minutes or less. I can't worry about structure in that limited time. I'm not that clever.
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Old 10-29-2017, 11:21 AM   #4
UnderYourSpell
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Similar to this thread then that has been running for many years all of a sudden passion suddenly
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
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Old 10-29-2017, 01:10 PM   #5
DavidKim
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
Similar to this thread then that has been running for many years all of a sudden passion suddenly
Shit! If I had seen that thread I would posted it there.
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Old 10-29-2017, 01:40 PM   #6
Antagonee
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The Third Kalendar

Allegra's favorite apples are the lowest on the shelf
She'll watch the sky and see why she's outnumbered by herself
The water isn't hard to match; she doesn't have to move
The space is replaced in the plainest of taste
with the roots of a prisoner's race in her home after school

Last edited by Antagonee : 10-29-2017 at 01:50 PM.
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Old 10-29-2017, 04:00 PM   #7
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Oh, Mods.
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Old 10-29-2017, 04:07 PM   #8
Angeline
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Hey folks this is a moderated forum and I'm one of the moderators. If you both want to continue posting here, I suggest you read the forum guidelines. The people who come here do so to write poetry and help each other. Please note, especially, guideline five:

5. Do not threaten other users. Treat other users respectfully and do your best to make the poetry forum a supportive and welcoming place for everyone. Do not harass or belittle other users because they don't agree with you. Posts or threads that berate others may be moved at the moderators' discretion.

If you don't want to deal with another user, please put them on ignore. That is the most respectful thing you can do for the forum. I'm going to remove all the angry, shouty posts and we can get back to poetry.
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Last edited by Angeline : 10-29-2017 at 04:19 PM.
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Old 10-29-2017, 04:18 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GuiltyPleasure View Post
Oh, Mods.

5-Minute Fibonacci


It
was
wild.
A cleanup
in Aisle 7,
ugly words thrown like bad eggs.
It's near Mischief Night
or maybe
it's just
the
Moon.
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Old 10-29-2017, 04:40 PM   #10
DavidKim
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angeline View Post
Hey folks this is a moderated forum and I'm one of the moderators. If you both want to continue posting here, I suggest you read the forum guidelines. The people who come here do so to write poetry and help each other. Please note, especially, guideline five:

5. Do not threaten other users. Treat other users respectfully and do your best to make the poetry forum a supportive and welcoming place for everyone. Do not harass or belittle other users because they don't agree with you. Posts or threads that berate others may be moved at the moderators' discretion.

If you don't want to deal with another user, please put them on ignore. That is the most respectful thing you can do for the forum. I'm going to remove all the angry, shouty posts and we can get back to poetry.
I don't have a problem with any of that. Simply, I try never to be offensive to people in general. But, at the same time, I don't expect people to put up with my rubbish, if I was to be rude, offense, etc. So, I don't put up with other people's rubbish either.

My playing nice is dependent on the other players being the same!
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Old 10-29-2017, 04:41 PM   #11
DavidKim
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angeline View Post

5-Minute Fibonacci


It
was
wild.
A cleanup
in Aisle 7,
ugly words thrown like bad eggs.
It's near Mischief Night
or maybe
it's just
the
Moon.
Nice! Fitting, too.
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Old 10-30-2017, 01:05 AM   #12
UnderYourSpell
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Damn did I miss something?
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 10-30-2017, 02:36 AM   #13
UnderYourSpell
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DavidKim View Post
I don't have a problem with any of that. Simply, I try never to be offensive to people in general. But, at the same time, I don't expect people to put up with my rubbish, if I was to be rude, offense, etc. So, I don't put up with other people's rubbish either.

My playing nice is dependent on the other players being the same!
Don't feed the trolls
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 10-30-2017, 03:55 PM   #14
Remec
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Don't Feed the Trolls

You
must
always remember;
They're not hungry,
but they cannot help eating
anything and everything
that they
happen
upon.


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"I have set my life upon a cast, and I shall stand the hazard of the die." -- Richard III

"Watch out for this guy! He's slick! And dark... and mysterious... and maybe even a bit evil! But in a totally sexy way!" -- BooMerengue
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Old 10-30-2017, 04:36 PM   #15
DavidKim
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Remec View Post
Don't Feed the Trolls

You
must
always remember;
They're not hungry,
but they cannot help eating
anything and everything
that they
happen
upon.


Very fitting, Mr. Morrison! Thank you... BTW, love The End! Oh, and Waiting for the Sun... my two favorites.
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Old 10-30-2017, 09:05 PM   #16
UnderYourSpell
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Who is Mr. Morrison?
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 10-30-2017, 11:13 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell View Post
Who is Mr. Morrison?

The profile pic for Remec... it's Jim Morrison... I'm a DOORS fan.
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Old 11-04-2017, 10:40 PM   #18
RhymeFairy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angeline View Post
Hey folks this is a moderated forum and I'm one of the moderators. If you both want to continue posting here, I suggest you read the forum guidelines. The people who come here do so to write poetry and help each other. Please note, especially, guideline five:

5. Do not threaten other users. Treat other users respectfully and do your best to make the poetry forum a supportive and welcoming place for everyone. Do not harass or belittle other users because they don't agree with you. Posts or threads that berate others may be moved at the moderators' discretion.

If you don't want to deal with another user, please put them on ignore. That is the most respectful thing you can do for the forum. I'm going to remove all the angry, shouty posts and we can get back to poetry.
Poetry first .. I agree ..

as a past membe. I havbe to say ..
listen to our M
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Old 11-05-2017, 12:37 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RhymeFairy View Post
Poetry first .. I agree ..

as a past membe. I havbe to say ..
listen to our M
Welcome back RF!

Hey it's the only thing I need to be agreed with on: poetry first. Otherwise it's your thing!
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Old 11-05-2017, 02:38 AM   #20
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I've tried to order a collection
of thoughts
they scattered like fish
when a predator swims past
lost fabrications
and gleams of light

the narration of my dreams is oppressed
by the in-articulation of breathing water
I babble my bubbles in an attempt to scream
discontent
realise I am the tyrant that
drowns myself
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Old 11-05-2017, 06:02 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by todski28 View Post
I've tried to order a collection
of thoughts
they scattered like fish
when a predator swims past
lost fabrications
and gleams of light

the narration of my dreams is oppressed
by the in-articulation of breathing water
I babble my bubbles in an attempt to scream
discontent
realise I am the tyrant that
drowns myself
I am sunken in the endless sea,
seen coral, anemone.
The silver streams that bubble
are as air to me, as unfeeling
serenity that comforts
in the current going nowhere
I have ever been, but singing
mermaid songs.
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Old 11-05-2017, 10:49 AM   #22
UnderYourSpell
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RhymeFairy View Post
Poetry first .. I agree ..

as a past membe. I havbe to say ..
listen to our M
Hiya RhymeFairy, good to see you
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 11-05-2017, 03:22 PM   #23
todski28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angeline View Post
I am sunken in the endless sea,
seen coral, anemone.
The silver streams that bubble
are as air to me, as unfeeling
serenity that comforts
in the current going nowhere
I have ever been, but singing
mermaid songs.
maybe the struggle to speak
should rest in the void of silence
where the air is a gasp at a time

or would you dare to hold my hand
to burst through the watery grey surface
dare to feel the light
dare to dream in the sound
of waves crashing on break waters
and sing so the world can hear
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Old 11-05-2017, 04:39 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by todski28 View Post
maybe the struggle to speak
should rest in the void of silence
where the air is a gasp at a time

or would you dare to hold my hand
to burst through the watery grey surface
dare to feel the light
dare to dream in the sound
of waves crashing on break waters
and sing so the world can hear
Would I break through to the light?

I am a creature of the night
and darkness is a dream to me,
dreaming where my nightmares cease.
I relegate all clocks to day
and when I have put time to bed
my darling ghosts come out to play
and loss is but a memory.

But yes I would hold your hand.
You are a friend, you understand
my worries and travails and I
have shared in yours so yes
I'll find you on the frothing shore
at twilight when the day recedes.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCQ_o4PoBjU

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Old 11-05-2017, 11:05 PM   #25
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Is she the predator or the prey?
Seeking out the sweetest flesh
by exposing her soft under belly,
drawing him in to join the feast,
each one taking what they need
until sated for now, lips are licked
savouring each tasty garnered morsel.
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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