I feel for you
I really do and I have made some pretty bad decisions in that state too. I found a glass of Baileys and a bar of chocolate helped me, All I can say is it does get easier with time and experience. I have finally come to realize the bad side of this and feel relieved and free to be out of a sub Dom relationship, In the depths of sub frenzy I never imagined feeling this way but at the minute Iam not only facing life without a Master but moving forward with the promise that I will never submit again.
Try to realize that this is a blessing a chance to break free