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Old 10-16-2017, 11:15 PM   #1
Amnemis
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I'm a Brat in Sub-Frenzy pls help

Hi i'm Zoe, a 23yo trans girl from Australia and i'm in a bit of a pickle. Right, so, well I met a Dom for the first time online without even trying, I just put an ad up for a casual hookup and mentioned I would like to be dominated. We started emailing and never has anyone spoken to me the way he does and thinking about the things he wants to do to me makes me writhe around and tense up and get weird stomach cramps that just feel soooo good.

I actually remember getting the same feeling as a child, the stomach contractions and the ecstasy they brought. Of course I didn't really have the capacity to tie those feelings to anything sexual at that age, but i was hooked on day dreaming about being caught by evil creatures that would restrain me and put me through things so painful that my will had no choice but to break and then they would corrupt my mind until i was also evil or whatever... I was obsessed with imagining that in different ways for years.

So i mean... that's a pretty obvious clue to oneself... but regardless those feelings were forgotten and throughout my exploration of my sexuality i never met anyone who was able to help those desires burgeon. So now that my clearly deeply rooted urges have surfaced i'm going fucking mental. The Dom i've been speaking with hasn't replied in 4 days now after fairly frequent communication and i'm pretty sure it's deliberate and the waiting is driving me insane. I've been researching as much as i can and learned that what i'm experiencing is a Sub-Frenzy and i know that means i need to be careful but holy shit fucking fuck how can hold back this tidal wave of lust? It's deafening, overwhelming and all consuming. I've never been this turned on in my whole life and i neeeeeeeed to have my urges sated.

I just don't know what to do with myself... how do i fill this hunger? If anyone has any advice or experience they feel like sharing i'd be very appreciative. Thanks for reading.

Last edited by Amnemis : 10-17-2017 at 12:38 AM.
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Old 10-16-2017, 11:21 PM   #2
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Good luck girl, everyone goes through this early on and I know you can get past it I would tell you to let it our slowly but from what I found that Might only work for my sub so your going to have to find your own way to cool down.

You are not going to be able to get out of your Sub-Frenzy until your Dom comes back to finish you or you break and have to be punished.
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Old 10-16-2017, 11:59 PM   #3
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I don't think that even Gordon Ramsay could write a better recipe for disaster.

I hear it's best served on the rocks.
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Old 10-17-2017, 12:48 AM   #4
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Yeah, I donít have any advice for you or anything, but thanks A LOT FOR FLOODING MY BASEMENT, TOO!

Jerk.


I mean... uh, that sounds awful. Good luck, sweet girl.
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Old 10-17-2017, 02:53 AM   #5
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I'm guessing your PM box has been flooded. Maybe that will help. There are a ton of "doms" out there who will float your boat. Especially ones who won't just stop talking to you for 4 days.

What should you do? Masturbate. Watch porn. Write a personal ad, find someone new to boss your around online. Thoughtfully join your local community and find someone trustworthy to bring your fantasies to reality. That takes some time but might be the most fulfilling path.

Just don't do anything stupid because your pussy is reacting to someone's words. Be careful. Be smart.
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Old 10-17-2017, 03:29 AM   #6
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sissy has little advice and wishes you the best.
To sissy trust is the biggest issue in a Dom/sub relationship. This relationship serves both parties and that is when it works. You have to be careful because there are people out there that can read you and push buttons to get you to do for them but it will leave you empty.
Best to take it slow at first and find a release, this will not be the only time this happens to you.
Find an interest to burry yourself in until this passes. Make your mind go to another place for a while.
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Old 10-17-2017, 06:18 AM   #7
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I have had experiences with Dom's or just plain dating where there has been regular daily contact and it all stops, it's called ghosting it happens a lot, real life has got in the way of cyber life. But to be fair most of the Dom's I have had online daily contact with have told me that they have to stop and given me reasons.

In general I think most people are nice and ghosting is not the norm. Would anyone else agree?
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Old 10-17-2017, 08:40 AM   #8
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Somewhat related realization

My imagination and I need a safe word for when I have sufficiently humiliated myself. Like if I suddenly yell - LAKEHOUSE - my mind should respond with a complete, immediate reboot.
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Old 10-21-2017, 09:53 AM   #9
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I'm sorry you are going through this. I've had this happen to me many times and I've basically just moved on with life. I wish I could be of more help.
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Old 11-01-2017, 01:39 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue View Post
I don't think that even Gordon Ramsay could write a better recipe for disaster.

I hear it's best served on the rocks.

I agree with this.

BE CAREFUL.

SO many Doms online can say the cliche words to get a sub turned on (until we learn better). I have learned to recognize an attitude through the text. BUT, when it's new, the simplest "you're a good girl aren't you?" can make it feel like OMG HE KNOWS ME.

He may be genuine and kind and a trustworthy Dom, but there's a TON of guys out there playing the role, manipulating subs just to get what they want.

So be careful with how much you agree to do. Set limits, and stay within them. TAKE IT SLOW. Don't agree to being suspended by chains while 5 guys fuck you because you're turned on and caught in the moment. A friend of mine once met a dom, who tied her up, and then his friend showed up. She hadn't agreed to that, but didn't have a choice.

Also, tell a friend in real life where you're going, why, and when you'll be back. Just in case.

Keep in mind there's plenty of Dom fish in the sea, so if you feel a weird vibe, or even if his wants are different than yours, you can walk away with a smile, knowing there's plenty more to sift through to find one that fits you perfectly.
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Old 11-02-2017, 08:03 PM   #11
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I had to google what sub frenzy was. I had no idea....😳
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Old 11-02-2017, 10:33 PM   #12
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Quote:
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I had to google what sub frenzy was. I had no idea....😳
Okay... .good. NOW... everyone else reading this who does not know what sub frenzy is... go google it or find it in the BDSM library and read about it. It is a real thing.
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Old 11-02-2017, 10:53 PM   #13
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It is a real thing, and a caring D would be available to help, or to explain why he or she canít be.

Itís also the best name ever for a submissive superhero.
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Old 11-02-2017, 11:01 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cascadiabound View Post
Okay... .good. NOW... everyone else reading this who does not know what sub frenzy is... go google it or find it in the BDSM library and read about it. It is a real thing.
I googled and read. I have definitely fallen into it before (and still can if I go too long without having an outlet).


Thank you
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Old 11-03-2017, 12:06 AM   #15
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It is a real thing, and a caring D would be available to help, or to explain why he or she canít be.

Itís also the best name ever for a submissive superhero.
Hail SUB FRENZY!!!! Submissive Superhero !!!

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Old 11-03-2017, 12:15 AM   #16
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Hail SUB FRENZY!!!! Submissive Superhero !!!
Needed:

- Origin story
- Secret identity
- Powers
- Enemies
- If on a team, what team?
- Apology to OP for hijacking thread
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Last edited by DeepGreenEyes : 11-03-2017 at 12:17 AM.
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Old 11-03-2017, 12:43 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepGreenEyes View Post
Needed:

- Origin story
- Secret identity
- Powers
- Enemies
- If on a team, what team?
- Apology to OP for hijacking thread
Hmm, I wonder if Sub Frenzy should be a superpower, rather than the hero name?

Super-weakness: gets captured A LOT.
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Old 11-03-2017, 12:47 AM   #18
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Hmm, I wonder if Sub Frenzy should be a superpower, rather than the hero name?

Super-weakness: gets captured A LOT.
In fact... is at her most powerful when captured.

secret identity:

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Old 11-03-2017, 03:22 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cascadiabound View Post
Okay... .good. NOW... everyone else reading this who does not know what sub frenzy is... go google it or find it in the BDSM library and read about it. It is a real thing.
I wouldn't have thought it had a name, to me it just seemed like an aspect of grief over the loss of something once very profound.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepGreenEyes View Post
It is a real thing, and a caring D would be available to help, or to explain why he or she canít be.

Itís also the best name ever for a submissive superhero.
Yeah...see this makes me feel like my first foray was lead by a douchbag. When we parted ways, I felt like I was in a tailspin, and when I tried to rapidly replace what we had, (which in itself was hard to reconcile because I'd had serious feelings) his backlash was of epic proportions.

But, to err is human they say...even for a douchbag.


It might be that it's 3 freaking AM, but I am having trouble seeing what her/his powers would be. Creative genius is a fickle friend.
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Old 11-03-2017, 12:17 PM   #20
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Creative genius is a fickle friend.
Sidekick?
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Old 11-03-2017, 12:20 PM   #21
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I don't know about super powers, but when sub frenzy goes up against some cartoonist super villain One of them or the other just HAS to use a punny suplex or pile driver while yelling "SUB DROP"
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Old 11-03-2017, 12:25 PM   #22
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Oh I know; a super human pain tolerance.

Frenzying subs "always" talk about finding that they can take more than they thought... And conversely then proceed to do so until they are genuinely injured unless stopped by a Dom.

Life drain.

She exhausts anyone who dares dominate her, especially her sidekick; creative genius.

Too close to home?
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Old 11-03-2017, 12:29 PM   #23
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😁

I had to read all 3 posts to understand the "sidekick" comment. Yeah, I'm definitely ditching work early today, my brain is mush.
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Old 11-03-2017, 02:34 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shezaqt View Post
I wouldn't have thought it had a name, to me it just seemed like an aspect of grief over the loss of something once very profound.

Yeah...see this makes me feel like my first foray was lead by a douchbag. When we parted ways, I felt like I was in a tailspin, and when I tried to rapidly replace what we had, (which in itself was hard to reconcile because I'd had serious feelings) his backlash was of epic proportions.
Submissive Frenzy can be experienced by any submissive at any time, but it is most commonly associated with new submissives. In more seasoned submissive, it might appear at the end a relationship or during a difficult time during a relationship. Typically during submissive frenzy, there is an overwhelming desperation/need to have your desires fulfilled. Many of the activities in BDSM can elicit a physical endorphin reaction and can almost be something like an addiction and frenzy can feel like uncontrolled withdrawal.

For me, when I finally recognized what my need was for D/s and submission my need was so great it felt unmanageable. It was out of control. Finally my need had a name, I could understand it and there were people who wanted to meet my need. It was in that moment that I began the initial stages of submissive frenzy.

I wanted it/ needed it, had to have it and anything I could do to experience what I had longed for so long had to be met. The problem with this is that these needs clouded my judgment. Sub frenzy universally is described as leading to a lack of common sense and rational thought, desperation, and risky behavior. It is quite common that first experiences done in this frenzy can have a negative or damaging effect on the novice submissive. Your judgment is blurred and the Dominant you are in contact with could seem too wonderful, you 'fall in love' faster and will do anything to experience what they are offering.

Most submissives have a story about something that went a little wrong or very wrong when they were in frenzy. Many tell of requiring medical attention, or just being grateful their bad judgment did not have the result of putting them in the grave. Try not to feed the frenzy, no matter how desperate you may be.

In more seasoned submissives, sub frenzy can sometimes be experienced as a need to perhaps 'have their edges taken off', and typically they know how to do that based on their own experience. A more experienced submissive is usually able to figure out what part of their "need" is paramount and figure out a safe way to get that met. For instance, go to a Dominant they trust but are not bonded to and ask them to relieve their physical need in a play session. Many PYL's (experienced ones) will be willing to assist or aide their friend knowing that keeping the submissive's edges down will allow that submissive to retain the majority of their rational functions while they are seeking a permanent partner. This kind of thing helps to reduce a subs vulnerability and keep frenzy at bay.

Frenzy is a normal and common response to the needs you are discovering. Allowing it to take over your other primary goals in life, however, is dangerous and should be monitored. Find people you can talk to when you are feeling a surge in desire. Try to keep the monster at bay until you can find an outlet in a safe and rational way.
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All stories are, in some form, prayers." ~Brian Doyle
"Politeness can be mistaken for flirting because itís so uncommon."
On a Lit Hiatus - back eventually. My belongs to Mr. T
"take a deep breath and remember who the fuck you are"

Last edited by cascadiabound : 11-03-2017 at 02:38 PM.
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Old 11-03-2017, 03:19 PM   #25
shezaqt
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cascadiabound View Post
Submissive Frenzy can be experienced by any submissive at any time, but it is most commonly associated with new submissives. In more seasoned submissive, it might appear at the end a relationship or during a difficult time during a relationship. Typically during submissive frenzy, there is an overwhelming desperation/need to have your desires fulfilled. Many of the activities in BDSM can elicit a physical endorphin reaction and can almost be something like an addiction and frenzy can feel like uncontrolled withdrawal.

For me, when I finally recognized what my need was for D/s and submission my need was so great it felt unmanageable. It was out of control. Finally my need had a name, I could understand it and there were people who wanted to meet my need. It was in that moment that I began the initial stages of submissive frenzy.

I wanted it/ needed it, had to have it and anything I could do to experience what I had longed for so long had to be met. The problem with this is that these needs clouded my judgment. Sub frenzy universally is described as leading to a lack of common sense and rational thought, desperation, and risky behavior. It is quite common that first experiences done in this frenzy can have a negative or damaging effect on the novice submissive. Your judgment is blurred and the Dominant you are in contact with could seem too wonderful, you 'fall in love' faster and will do anything to experience what they are offering.

Most submissives have a story about something that went a little wrong or very wrong when they were in frenzy. Many tell of requiring medical attention, or just being grateful their bad judgment did not have the result of putting them in the grave. Try not to feed the frenzy, no matter how desperate you may be.

In more seasoned submissives, sub frenzy can sometimes be experienced as a need to perhaps 'have their edges taken off', and typically they know how to do that based on their own experience. A more experienced submissive is usually able to figure out what part of their "need" is paramount and figure out a safe way to get that met. For instance, go to a Dominant they trust but are not bonded to and ask them to relieve their physical need in a play session. Many PYL's (experienced ones) will be willing to assist or aide their friend knowing that keeping the submissive's edges down will allow that submissive to retain the majority of their rational functions while they are seeking a permanent partner. This kind of thing helps to reduce a subs vulnerability and keep frenzy at bay.

Frenzy is a normal and common response to the needs you are discovering. Allowing it to take over your other primary goals in life, however, is dangerous and should be monitored. Find people you can talk to when you are feeling a surge in desire. Try to keep the monster at bay until you can find an outlet in a safe and rational way.

That's great stuff up there and I thank you for sharing your wisdom. I don't feel in that place anymore, though my current relationship barely boarders on D/s. That took some reconciling....that after so long of finally coming to terms/finding what I wanted, then being rudely jolted out of the bliss of having it...to now, where I'm more or less okay with not having it fully.

Wow, that was really awkward, sorry, writing on the fly.

More like thoughts soon. Wish I could save and keep working on it but that is beyond my scope of knowledge.
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