The Widowed Lord

That clock

It taunted him its ticking echoing across the empty halls of his large manor. The memories it carried were wounds through his tattered souls. The memories were at one time happy and sweet. He could still remember when he presented it to her for instance giving it as a gift on their first wedding anniversary. When he closed his eyes he could see her stroking the golden trim her small fingers caressing it as she looked at him with pure love. He remembered it tumbling to the floor of their bedroom forgotten as they indulged in another bout of love making…..
Now it haunted him following throughout the house. He knew it was his own imagination but it didn’t stop him from hearing it no matter where he went in the house. Even as far away as the south tower it continued echoing and only being dulled by drink after drink.

“I want that clock destroyed” He growled to his butler as he pulled the heavy drapes back over the window. Lord Stefan Agnes hissed from the bright light his eyes half closing as he tried to hide from the light. His butler ignored his protest and continued to open the windows letting more and more light into the dusty cluttered tower.

“I am going to ignore that” Butler Christopher said brushing some dust off of his coat as he turned to his lord and friend “Now let’s get you up and ready I am sure you don’t remember but your new bride is coming today”

“Is she now?” Stefan said chuckling as he wiped some dried beer from the corner of his mouth. He rose from the dusty armchair teetering ever so slightly as he gazed at his confidant with unforced eyes.

“Poor girl” Stefan said chuckling moved and kicking some spare bottles away “I don’t know what she did to get this punishment but she has no idea what she is getting into”

“Perhaps you could play nice Lord” Christopher said watching him as he moved around the room “The poor girl is going to be in our region for the first time in her life! You’re already married to her”

“Bah!” Stefan said waving his hand as he pushed the door to the tower open. It opened with a grinding sound echoing in the cavernous empty hallway.
Christopher joined him as he walked down the staircase. Stefan’s long royal blue coat lay heavy on the staircase as they made their way down.

“She isn’t my wife” Stefan reminded the butler “I won’t take her into my bed… This I swear to you Christopher!”

“If you say so sir” Christopher said his tone bored and dismissive “But you would do best to treat her with respect.. She is here because of her father”

Stefan sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. He knew Christopher was right, he knew the girl was a victim of an unfortunate circumstance just like he was. It wasn’t her fault but she was still a stranger an enemy coming into the home of he and his late wife.

Still….

“I’ll do my best” Stefan finally said running a hand through his unkempt dirty blonde hair “When is she set to arrive?”

“Word reached us that she would be here in an hour or two” Christopher replied turning to direct a few of the maids still in his employment. Now that Stefan was aware of the day he noticed the subtle changes happening in his estate. Things were being moved and cleaned a year of dust being scrubbed and wiped away. He watched the procession shifting uncomfortably as Christopher led him to his bedroom.

“Get cleaned up my lord” Christopher said his tone firm “I will fetch you when we see her enter the estate”

Stefan grunted in response and moved into the room. There was a hot bath waiting for him and Stefan quickly went to work cleaning himself up. He did his best to ignore his body the telltale signs that said he let himself go. The middle-aged man was once the epitome of physical health with a rippling physique and muscular forearms. Now his gut was forming, and even though his forearms were still large he moved much more slowly.

He bathed sinking into the hot water and closing his eyes. He let the warm water wash over his body taking with it the lingering effects of his lack of movement today. He pushed himself up after staying under and began to scrub cleaning himself even as he muttered and cursed the king. It was hard to think they were once friends and allies.

But these days it was hard for him to remember any of the happy times.

He finished washing up and got out. Christopher attended to his hair giving his rough five O clock shadow a shave and taking care of his long blonde hair. Once he was more presentable Christopher helped him dress choosing a royal blue overcoat, a pair of white trousers, black boots, a white undershirt and black vest. Once he was dressed a maid came fetching them and letting Stefan know his bride was set to arrive.

“Everyone outside!” Christopher shouted gesturing for them all to vacate the estate. The modest procession of servants filed out of the house going to stand in a small line. Stefan and Christopher moved to the center of the line standing tall as a carriage appeared over the hill.

Caroline had never been this far away from home in her life. The rolling green hills looked completely unfamiliar and when the carriage had entered heavy woods that were thick with fog, she grew concerned. Perhaps her father had truly lost his mind as many people had suggested. She didn't think that what she had done had warranted such a harsh punishment, but her sister had insisted that she be sent away and that is what had happened.

Caroline Beaumont had been born into luxury. Her mother was a high class whore, kept by the king to be used her saw fit and the Lady Beaumont had enjoyed every single moment of it. Her only regret is that the fair haired Caroline had not been born a boy. A boy would have brought more money and prestige, a larger house and a higher title. Instead, little Caroline had given her mother a smaller title, a smaller fortune, and a lover that was trapped forever.

Her life had been a lonely one. The royal court was a viper's den one that needed a sharp mind and thick skin to survive. When her father had insisted that she come to live with him, she had quickly developed both. The queen never liked any of her husband's bastard children and she disliked Caroline the most. She was prettier than the princess, smarter, more well liked. None of that would do when it came time to find a husband for the older and plainer woman.

The carriage rocked against the ruts in the road, Caroline's thoughts brought back to the present as she pulled the velvet curtain aside and caught sight of her new home. She had been married just a week earlier, a document signed in her father's office sealing her fate. She knew nothing but her husband's name: Stefan. She knew that she had a new title, but she wasn't even sure what it was. It was so confusing.

As the carriage came to a halt, she watched as the door was opened and a hand appeared to help her down. The air there was fresh and smelled of pine, the surrounding forest lending a slightly gloomy air as she stepped into the open for the first time, her thick cloak falling around her as she looked at the servants gathered. Her golden hair was pinned back in a becoming style, a few pieces floating on the soft breeze that blew that morning. Her sharp blue eyes seemed too large for her face, rimmed with thick lashes. The rest of her features were delicate, but weary, showing just how uncertain she was about this entire situation.

“There she is” Christopher whispered leaning in as the carriage door opened. Stefan merely grunted doing his best to seem uninterested as she began to appear. He was dedicated to the course of action the one of welcoming her but remaining cold and detached. He was sure she was pretty enough but again he wasn’t interested. Of course her story didn’t help that of being born to one of the kings whore and the rumors of her proclivities at the castle.

Then he laid eyes on her.

Some of his frosty outlook thawed as he took her in. She was a stunning creature beautiful even though indecision and worry stained her features. His eyes took in the gown and bodice she was wearing and his tongue flicked out over his bottom lip.

“Don’t” He whispered shaking his head “remember her”

He closed his eyes and pictured his wife striding forward. He smiled as he watched her black hair sway in the wind. Some people said as time went on the memories of a loved one faded. That wasn’t the case with him however.

They only got stronger…

“Lord!” Christopher whispered his tone angry “Open your damn eyes”

Stefan growled but opened them taking her in. He cleared his throat and strode forward taking her hand and kissing it.

“Welcome to our estate Lady Caroline” Stefan said his tone polite and neutral “I speak for all the staff when I say it is a pleasure to see you. My attendant Christopher shall get your bags please come inside”

He gestured with his hand and once she moved he fell in behind her. Christopher moved the minute they left directing the servants to grab her bags.

It was strangely silent as Caroline stood there staring at the gathered servants. She assumed that the man that was dressed nicer than the rest was her new husband. He was tall, his hair was a shade or two darker than her own. He had grown thick in the middle, but his arms still told her that he had once been a powerful man. It seemed appropriate that the queen had demanded that she be married off to a man that was slowly growing fatter and more disinterested as he aged.

"My lord." Caroline said as she nodded her head towards him, her voice slightly husky and deep, but just as sweet and gracious as it had always been.

As he motioned for her to enter his home, she slowly moved to do so. The castle was well maintained and smelled of a fresh cleaning. It was light and airy as she stepped in through the front door, but she could see the touches of the man's first wife seemingly everywhere. It was very apparent as she turned and saw a large portrait of the man behind her and a raven haired woman gracing the large staircase.

Caroline thought that she was a beauty and silently wondered what had happened too her. It was obvious that he still had some thoughts and feelings on his first wife and she thought it would be rude to ask. Instead, she turned, took off her cloak and offered it to the first servant who reached out to take it. Her dress was expensive, dark purple and sewn with silver threads that sparkled in the light. Her bodice clung to her body, displaying her chest in a modest manner. She wasn't a flashy person, but she did enjoy nice clothing. Her wardrobe was full of gowns like this one, but as she looked around at Stefan's home, she realized that they might be out of place.

"Your home is very nice, my lord." Caroline said, turning to look at Stefan.

Stefan watched her move into the manor and he followed after her. The outside was a flurry of activity as Christopher led the team of servants in unloading her things and bringing them in. Out of the corner of his eyes Christopher watched as the two moved into the manor and the door closed behind them.

“Don’t mess this up” Christopher murmured to himself before going back to the luggage.

Meanwhile Stefan watched as the new young wife of his took stock of the home. He bit back the comment the one that loudly proclaimed his wife was the one who designed the rooms. The portrait of her that dominated the room might have seemed like a hit below the belt to her but he didn’t really care.

It wasn’t her fault that her father forced her to marry a man claimed to another.
“Thank you” He said nodding his head and feeling awkward. What did he even say to her? Sorry? It wasn’t HIS fault her father was such an idiot! He and the king hadn’t spoken in two years now and their last conversation was the king yelling at him. His frantic letters back for the king to annul the marriage and give the girl peace were met with silence.

“I put you up in the south tower” He explained pointing at the staircase “The grand bedroom up there has been cleaned out for your use. We usually have dinner around six as per the norm. This isn’t the city but there are plenty of wide open spaces and paths for you to enjoy. I think you will find much to do here to take up your time if given the chance. I understand this… wasn’t the ideal but hopefully we can make this work”

Caroline glanced towards him in confusion as he stated that the grand bedroom had been cleared out for her to use. She had assumed that he would demand that she stay with in. They were married, after all. She wasn't necessarily pleased with this news. It was what her mother had done through most of her life, stuffed away in separate rooms to be paraded out for her lord's pleasure when he demanded it.

"I'm sure that I will find something to keep myself busy." Caroline said softly as she turned to look at all of the different items in the room again.

This first wife was everywhere, from the portrait to the items that were kept on shelves and the furniture that graced the rooms. It was very clear that he had not been the one to decorate these spaces or he had not done it alone.

"I've never been to this part of the country. It will take some getting used to, for the both of us. I've heard that it gets quite cold in the winter and the snow can leave a person stranded in a matter of hours." She was blathering once but she had nothing to really say to him. They were practically strangers.

They were making awkward conversation but he didn’t leave. After all this was his WIFE now and even if he would never touch her he needed to at least make her feel welcome. Even if he felt awkward about the entire thing. He shifted uncomfortably as he regarded her his eyes flickering around as if he was trying to find himself in the room.

“Yes it does” He said clearing his throat “It’s okay though. The manor rarely gets cold. The help is excellent at keeping the hearths going and the fires well stroked. I don’t go out much anymore so there won’t be a need to leave the castle unless you wish to”

He should say more to her! To tell her that he felt for her plight. He started to but then stopped blushing instead and turning to the staircase.

“Let me show you to your room” He said going over to the grand golden staircase that dominated the room.

“The servants made it up to you as best they could as a welcome present” He explained taking her hand and help her up “I am sure you will enjoy it!”

He rarely left, which explained the extra weight he carried. It seemed her new husband was a recluse. Of course her father had picked the one person in his kingdom that would keep her at home more often than not. She let out s soft sigh as he tried to explain things to her, the conversation as awkward as her attempt had been. Then he turned and offered to show her to her rooms.

"I assumed that we would be sharing a room." Caroline commented as he took her hand to lead the way upstairs. "However, if this is the way that you think things should be, then I will accept that. It is your home, after all."

She mentioned sharing a room and he stiffened. He didn’t want to have this conversation didn’t want to tell her what he meant about that. He felt another surge of sadness for this beautiful creature who found her way into his home. A part of him was tempted to say something to her father directly about it.

He turned to her gazing at her with sad eyes. He awkwardly cleared his throat before he finally spoke.

“I’m sorry my dear” He said reaching out to cup her face “Your father probably didn’t tell you this but I am in mourning. My wife died a year ago and I have yet to get over it and never plan to. She was the light of my life and I still sleep in the bed we shared. I am afraid your father has given you to the last man in France who could love you”

Caroline was slightly surprised by his words as he confessed that her father had married her to a recent widower. It wasn't uncommon among the nobility to marry quickly after the death of a wife or husband, but it seemed that Stefan had no intention of getting over the memory of his first wife. Her father had given her a good home but had effectively made her nun. And for what? For kissing her brother-in-law and being caught? For being the daughter of a whore? For being prettier than a sister who saw her as competition?

"Well, that certainly explains some things." She said softly as he touched her cheek. "You do not have to worry about me, my lord. My life had been a series of exceptional disappointments. I will try my hardest not to sully the memory of your wife."

She took a step back away from him and cleared her throats in nervousness. Desperately she wanted to be alone to wallow in the self pity that she felt. Her excile would be harder than she had previously thought that it would.

"If you would lead the way. I find that I've grown weary." She said softly, unable to meet his gaze any longer.

When she said that she was used to such disappointments he couldn’t help but wince. It truly was unfair to her for her father to saddle her with him. He knew to! Knew how much Stefan’s darling bride meant to him. He ignored his letters imploring him to stop and now here they were two strangers forced together when neither of them wished to be.

“I’m so very sorry my dear” He said reaching out to clasp her hand and give it a soft squeeze “I assure you that your virtue will remain intact. I will help you get out of this and even find you a suitable husband if needed. Trust me when I say I do not CARE about your fathers orders”

He released her hand and gestured for her to follow him up the last flight of stairs. He reached the landing and opened the door leading her into a tower bedroom that was made up for her. He hovered at the door way and let her look around.

“Can I get you anything?” He asked his intense eyes regarding her.

Caroline said nothing as she followed him to her room, pausing just inside the door to look around at the space that she had been provided. It was clean and warm, made up for her to feel comfortable and to decorate as she saw fit. She hadn't brought much besides a few sentimental pieces, but she would soon have them out to make this place seem a little more like home.

"No. I don't believe so." She said softly as she looked over towards him. "It'll be as if I'm not here."

It had been meant as a joke to lighten the mood but it came out as an almost solemn vow. She wouldn't bother him as it was very clear he wanted to be left alone with his grief. He would find that her father would not be willing to negotiate on his position. She was legally married and nothing would change any of that.

He heard her words but didn’t say anything. What DID one say? No matter how bad he felt for her it didn’t change the way he felt about being a husband. The most he could offer her was friendship and to do his best to make her stay comfortable.

“I’ll have Christopher come get you for supper” He said clearing his throat and awkwardly leaving. He closed the door behind him and went to his office for another drink.

And so began the two’s life together. It was painfully apart from the first week Stefan was speaking the truth about him not being over his wife. Some days he could be comatose and she would not see him while other times his cries echoed through the house. Most nights she ate alone with no ones company but Christopher who spoke to her more as a friend than a servant.

Sometimes Stefan would have what would be considered a “good” day. During that time the real Stefan would emerge. He would talk to her and draw her in speaking of a great love of literature. He would become animated and passionate and even give her books to read. Stefan library easily rivaled if not toppled the kings. Sometimes he would even go on walks with her outside the castle grounds though he avoided the graveyard like a plague.

Caroline tried her hardest to make her new home as cheery as she possibly could. The servants welcomed her, trying their hardest to make her feel as if she had been there all along. She rarely saw Stefan and he seemed to make no effort to see her when she was out and about. She explored the woods surroundinnrhe manor, getting lost from time to time until someone came to find her. She read as many books as she could get her hands on, especially those that Stefan eagerly insisted that she read. She just felt a sense of hopelessness. She ate to pass the time and felt that she would grow fat in her new marriage if that cycle continued.

"Has he always been this way?" Caroline asked Christopher as he served her lunch alone. "It's hard to gauge his moods. Some days he wants to be in my company and other days I never see him."

Christopher shook his head looking said at her words. His worry for his master shone as well as his love for the man. He gestured for the servants to move away leaving just the two of them in the dining room. He came over to her and bent down taking her hand as he looked her in the eye.

“The master is still in mourning” Christopher explained glancing to make sure he wasn’t coming in “He drinks and his moods are erratic. I believe one day he may come to love you if given the chance but for now all he can think of is the old mistress of the house. There was once a time this world was filled with happiness and love and he was a different man.”

He patted her hand before rising and giving a soft nod. He moved away leaving her to her thoughts as the servants came back and cleared her plates.
It was another two weeks before something changed.

“Your mother” Stefan said coming in and placing the letter on her desk “I have no read it but please tell me what she is planning. I am worried she is coming for a visit”

He was dressed nicely today clearly in one of his better moods. There was even something of a smile on his face as he sank into the chair next to her. He watched her as she opened it trying to gauge the mood of the letter as she read.

"Well, I'm worried she's coming for a visit too." Caroline commented as he handed her the letter and then took a seat beside her in a plush armchair. "You don't understand my mother, Stefan. She comes to be nosy. She will be directing things around here if you let her."

Caroline picked up her ivory letter opener and slit the top of the envelope, sighing as she read the letter inside. "She's coming. She wants to come before the snow starts. She says that she wants to see with her own two eyes that I'm being treated well."

Caroline carefully folded the letter and placed it on the surface of her desk. "You've been warned. She isn't a woman to keep her tongue to herself."

“I once met your mother” He commented rising up as he went over to the window.

“It was when she first came to court” He said smirking “Your fathers latest prize. I was unmarried and so she made several innuendos my way. I thought it was all in good fun but a part of me wonders if she really thought I would be interested. Even then she was commanding the type that would have a king wrapped around her finger.”

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He stayed that way for several seconds before finally turning to her.

“What do we need to do?” He asked her coming over and placing a hand over hers “What changes must me make to our current… arrangement to give your mother no cause for concern”

"Stefan, she'll be able to sniff anything out. How do you think she has so successfully retained my father? She knows he is unhappy in his marriage. She'll know what we have between us as well." Caroline said as she stood and moved towards her windows tonlook outnover the misty wokds. "I do ask that you stay sober. I know it's difficult, but it would help matters if. You have a sharp mind."

Caroline turned back to look at him. "And I will try my hardest to keep her from mentioning your first wife. She might do it for spite and I don't want to do anything that might wound you. You've been more than accommodating to me in this situation."

“Clearly you don’t know much about me” Stefan remarked a confident smirk on his face for the first time since she arrived. He went to the door pulling it open and ducking his head into the hall.

“Christopher come here” Stefan said before stepping back. Seconds later he appeared nodding at both of them.

“Have the servants move all of my things into this bedroom” Stefan said causing Christopher to stiffen in surprise.

“Sir?” Christopher asked smiling softly “Have you two?”

“No” Stefan said rolling his eyes “My darlings wife mother is coming to see us and we want everything to be ready for her. The servants will move all of my things into this room and then gather the alcohol in the house to be hidden for the duration of the visit”

“I see sir” Christopher said deflating slightly “I will get it done”

With that he turned moving out of the door and leaving the two alone.

"Stefan, you don't have to do that." Caroline said as he insisted he wanted his things moved into her room. "My mother won't know any different if we share a room or not. It's not uncommon for a lord to have a different room than his wife. Look at my father. He's not shared a room with the queen for years."

“I do not need your mother hatching some plot of being worried” Stefan said shaking his head “I don’t want to give her any cause or concern”

He stepped out letting the servants have the room. He beckoned her to follow him with one finger as they moved walking through the halls. His eyes swept around the house as they walked taking stock of everything that could or would be worrisome. With some pain he realized he would have to remove most of the tributes to his wife. There were far too many to be considered polite.

“We will start eating together and practicing being around each other” He said moving down the landing of the steps “That way we won’t seem like total strangers”

"Stefan, we are strangers." Caroline commented as he mentioned that they would start eating together, pausing on the stairs as she looked up at him. "Sharing a meal together won't really change that. I don't know anything about you except what your servants have chosen to share or you have told me yourself."

"And I refuse to let you change around your entire home just because my mother is coming for a visit. You want your wife to still be a part of your life and I don't have a problem with that. I want you to keep things as they are." She said softly, knowing that it probably distressed him to have to think about removing all of the small items that he had kept.

“Maybe we are” He said ignoring her words as he continued to direct all of the servants. He moved with renewed vigor. There was a fire in his eyes not so much the fires of passion but the fire of a man who had a clear goal.

“But the least I can do is try to make this work so that your mother has no concerns” Stefan said directing a fresh round of servants with a wave of his hand. He turned to her and placed his hand hands on her shoulder looking her in the eye.

“You’ve done an old man a kindness by being here” He told her stroking her cheek “And even though my heart is reserved for another I will at least do right by you. Now do not worry about it. Go prepare for your mother and we will make our preparations”

"You're not old, Stefan. Far from it." Caroline said softly as he promised that he would take care of everything so that her mother wouldn't bother them too much. "You might think that you are but the loss of your wife has made you feel miserable for far too long."

“If you say so” He said softly his tone dismissive as he shook his head. He didn’t say anything more on the matter instead continuing to oversee the preparations for the house. The servants made quick work of the tasks removing any of the more overt signs of his wife. Once that was done he gathered the servants and quickly explained what was happening. He reminded them to be on their best behavior before retiring with her in the living room. It was the first time the two of them had used the social living space together.

“So tell me about yourself” He said forgoing the usual alcohol and instead sitting on the couch opposite of her “I know some of your history of course but tell me things only your husband would know”