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Old 09-04-2017, 01:07 PM   #1
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Song based Golden Shovel challenge

This challenge derives from a review in the NY Times of a collection of Golden Shovel poems based on the poems of Gwendolyn Brooks. Briefly the form developed by Terrance Hayes follows these rules.
  • Take a line (or lines) from a poem you admire.
  • Use each word in the line (or lines) as an end word in your poem.
  • Keep the end words in order.
  • Give credit to the poet who originally wrote the line (or lines).
  • The new poem does not have to be about the same subject as the poem that offers the end words

In this song based challenge, apply a line, or lines from a song you identify with and give it the Golden Shovel treatment.

For example, "You don't wanna go to Charlottesville" is put together from the title and last two lines of the refrain of Bob Dylan's Stuck inside of Mobile with the Memphis blues again

You don't wanna go to Charlottesville

after Bob Dylan

You don't wanna go to
Charlottesville if your skin be
black, for white folks there stuck
with a lost insurgence playing inside
their heads, a confederacy of
dunces, stretching from Mobile
Alabama north on I65 with
stops in Montgomery and Birmingham, the
South's heartland, then up I22 to Memphis
where we sadly sing the blues
black and blue all over again.

I'll accept entries until Sept. 22, the fall equinox, post them over the weekend in this thread. Entries should be sent to me as a private message and I'll post without attributing authorship. I'll open a separate thread for comments, discussion and author attribution. Authors will be revealed the weekend of Sept. 30.
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Old 09-06-2017, 12:32 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Piscator View Post
<clip> I'll accept entries until Sept. 22, the fall equinox, post them over the weekend in this thread. I'll open a separate thread for comments, discussion and author attribution. Authorship will be revealed the weekend of Sept. 30. </clip>
Won't posting in this thread reveal the authorship?
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Old 09-06-2017, 07:52 AM   #3
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Sorry GP - yes posting here would reveal.

Entries should be sent to me as a private message and I'll post without attributing to an author.
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Old 09-11-2017, 11:09 AM   #4
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Tweeks

To keep this challenge on the page, I'll start the poems thread when the number of entries reaches 10 (currently 7 and counting) rather than wait foe Sept 22.

I also request that authors add a link to the version of the song the are usung for the poem. For authors who have already submitted, just send the link and I'll add when positing.
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Old 09-14-2017, 11:26 PM   #5
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Last tweak please put your comments on poems and guesstimates as to the author in this thread not the thread with the poems and links
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Old 09-15-2017, 01:29 PM   #6
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brief read-through this morning - what a great crop of writes! and that first has - has - to be greenmountaineer unless 12 has suddenly returned
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Old 09-17-2017, 11:21 AM   #7
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In #10 "A Million Candles," it seems that the poet is challenging Cohen's rather somber assertions but leaves a question mark at the end.

I liked the song and the poem in the manner they were linked and because both were thought provoking. There are a few stylistic changes I would have made. That said, the poem still made a profound impression with me.

Although I have a few suspects as authors in some of the other selections, I'm miffed as to who wrote this.

P.S. On 2nd thought I'll guess butters, although I'd bet no more than a cup of coffee on it.

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Old 09-17-2017, 11:50 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmountaineer View Post
In #10 "A Million Candles," it seems that the poet is challenging Cohen's rather somber assertions but leaves a question mark at the end.

I liked the song and the poem in the manner they were linked and because both were thought provoking. There are a few stylistic changes I would have made. That said, the poem still made a profound impression with me.

Although I have a few suspects as authors in some of the other selections, I'm miffed as to who wrote this.

P.S. On 2nd thought I'll guess butters, although I'd bet no more than a cup of coffee on it.
i'd have been pleased to have written it, gm, but it's not mine. i'm decidedly lacking in the writing department at the moment.
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Old 09-17-2017, 12:45 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmountaineer View Post
In #10 "A Million Candles," it seems that the poet is challenging Cohen's rather somber assertions but leaves a question mark at the end.

I liked the song and the poem in the manner they were linked and because both were thought provoking. There are a few stylistic changes I would have made. That said, the poem still made a profound impression with me.

Although I have a few suspects as authors in some of the other selections, I'm miffed as to who wrote this.

P.S. On 2nd thought I'll guess butters, although I'd bet no more than a cup of coffee on it.


Quote:
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i'd have been pleased to have written it, gm, but it's not mine. i'm decidedly lacking in the writing department at the moment.
If you're ever in Vermont, I'll buy you a cup of coffee, even Harry!
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Old 09-17-2017, 01:31 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmountaineer View Post
[/b]



If you're ever in Vermont, I'll buy you a cup of coffee, even Harry!
you're on
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William Dement (the father of sleep medicine) said:
"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives."

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Old 09-19-2017, 11:25 PM   #11
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i'd think the first posted up is G's - feels like his voice, at least, and i'm really loving that last one from 'all you need is love'. brief, but soooo profound
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Old 09-20-2017, 09:32 AM   #12
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19 submissions so far , the window is open through Friday..
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Old 09-22-2017, 11:31 AM   #13
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what a crop this challenge has reaped

and 21 is so damned good. author - there's something a bit Tzara-ish to it, or AH, maybe even Piscator... then again it could be Guilty PLeasures or Mer or or or

in otherwords, not a clue
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Old 09-22-2017, 11:39 PM   #14
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The End

by the Doors - The End

I was going to try something with some of the lyrics but I couldn't. So I'll leave you with the last two verses of their 11 minute and 47 second edifice.

This is the end,
beautiful friend
this is the end
my only friend, the end

It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die
This is the end


Thanks to all who contributed. In all there are 21 submissions. It's now time to offer comments and guesses as to who wrote what.

I'll put together a list of contributors over the weekend. However to make things a bit more difficult, I won't divulge he number of submissions for each contributor. Authors will be revealed the weekend of Sept. 30.
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Old 09-23-2017, 11:07 PM   #15
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Authors

9 Authors

Angeline, butters, greenmountaineer, Gulity Pleasure, legerdemer, Minervous, Piscator, Remec, Tzara

21 GS submissions

Accordingly some authors have more than one entry.

,
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Old 09-27-2017, 02:21 PM   #16
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I'm still hoping to steal time enough to make comments on some of those GS poems - I really enjoyed a lot of them, but in particular loved #15, The Boxer.
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Old 09-28-2017, 12:18 AM   #17
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Sorry haven't been around, I've been ill again and now my husband is in hospital and I'm not coping with it very well.
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
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Old 09-28-2017, 02:52 AM   #18
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Sorry haven't been around, I've been ill again and now my husband is in hospital and I'm not coping with it very well.
My best wishes to both of you, Annie. Hang in there... get better...
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Old 09-29-2017, 09:50 PM   #19
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My best wishes to both of you, Annie. Hang in there... get better...
Thank you Mer he was supposed to come home yesterday but it was postponed , so I'm back in a dark place again.
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 09-30-2017, 12:25 AM   #20
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Annie - Thanks for droppingby but you have nothing to be sorry for.

All the best to you and your husband for a quick recovery.
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Old 09-30-2017, 09:28 PM   #21
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Annie - Thanks for droppingby but you have nothing to be sorry for.

All the best to you and your husband for a quick recovery.
Thank you ....... I've just been forced to write again for my new poetry group which I'm probably not allowed to even mention oops!
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Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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Old 10-01-2017, 11:25 AM   #22
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At the 11th hour, 59th minute, coz I can't resist being silly and playing the guessing game:

1 gm
2 Tz, maybe
3 Remec
4 (gm, or Piscator???)
5 gm
6 butters
7 Tz, maybe
8 GP
9
10
11 Piscator?
12 Angeline or GP
13 Minervous
14
15 Ange
16 Remec
17
18
19
20 gm
21 Ange
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Old 10-02-2017, 03:06 PM   #23
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Revealatiion - Title, Song & Singer(s) Author

Thanks to all who took part in this challenge. The poems, songs and authors are listed below and author will be added to the poems thread.

1 Louie, Louie : Louie, Louie - The Kingsmen: greenmountainer
2 Fuzz Tone, Sixth Form: Psychotic Reaction - The Count Five" Tzara

3 Fear is Here: Watching the Detectives Elvis Costello: Piscator
4 Campus Nostalgia: Another Brick in the Wall oart 2 -Pink Floyd: Remec
5 Not Again: Me And Julio - Simon and Garfunkel: Guilty Pleasure
6 On the Street: Child Of Mine - Carole King: Guilty Pleasure
7 Expectations: Everybody Knows - Leonard Cohen: Guilty Pleasure
8 Eliminator: Legs - ZZ Top: Minervous
9 self.esteem: Self Esteem - The Ofspring : Tzara
10 A Million Candles: You want it Darker - Leonard Cohen: legerdemer
11 One More Time: The Stranger - Billy Joel Guilty Pleasure
12 Obsession: Strange Boy - Joni Mitcehel: Angeline
13 Would you dance: Angie Baby - Helen Reddy:butters
14 Goodbye: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - Elton John: butters
15 How a Poem's Made: The Boxer - Simon and Garfunkel: butters
16 Do You Recall: Rock n Roll Suicide - David Bowie: butters
17 What lasts is love: All You Need is Love - Playing with Change's cover of the Beatles: Angeline
18 One Manic Tempo: I Wanna Be Sedated - The Ramones: Tzara
19 I'll Make You Dizzy, You Little ****: Dizzy - Tommy Roe: Tzara
20 Geopolitics: Popsicle Toes - Michael Franks: Piscator
21 Clique: Monster Mash - Bobby Pickett: Minervous
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Old 10-02-2017, 04:24 PM   #24
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Wow! Some of those were unexpected. As usual I was wrong in most cases. Great idea for a challenge, p'tor.
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Old 10-02-2017, 09:39 PM   #25
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What a great mix of poems this challenge produced. Thank you P'tor for the challenge and your hard work putting it together.
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