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Old 11-05-2017, 03:18 PM   #451
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Listen, the little fucker was handsy and he stank, so I disemboweled him.
That was extreme MP! Put them back in.
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Old 11-05-2017, 03:21 PM   #452
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Don't you think disemboweling is a bit extreme, MP?
Nah, doctors do it every day. I had it done once. Got a kid out of it.
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Old 11-05-2017, 03:28 PM   #453
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Doctors kill people every day, It's normal.
That doesn't sound normal, it sounds criminal.
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Old 11-05-2017, 03:35 PM   #454
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That sounds formal, and delightfully liminal.
Fine, you put on your tux and go to the opera with him. Me and my fever chills are staying home under an afghan.
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Old 11-05-2017, 03:44 PM   #455
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Oprah gives me the chills.
I think the opposite, Oprah's a pretty chill cat!
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Old 11-05-2017, 03:48 PM   #456
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Oprah's pretty chilly when you meet her in person.
I always suspected as much. Have you met Ellen Degeneres?
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Old 11-05-2017, 06:44 PM   #457
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Oh, these fucking Hollywood people! Have you met Ellen Degeneres?
Stuck her hand right down my pants. Yup. Said it was okay with Portia. Then demanded I bring her Starbucks. They are utterly disconnected from the rest of humanity. . . .
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Old 11-05-2017, 07:57 PM   #458
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Will you please stop demanding I bring you Starbucks? They are utterly disconnected from the rest of humanity. . . .
Okay, fine. A latte from the local shop will do, plain with cinnamon on top, please.
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Old 11-05-2017, 08:09 PM   #459
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Okay, fine. A lay from that blonde barristo with cinnamon on top, please.
Oh, no! If you're gonna be doing him, don't expect me to add seasonings!
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Old 11-05-2017, 09:04 PM   #460
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Oh? He adds free seasonings if you do him?
I don't know, that's just what I've heard.
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Old 11-05-2017, 09:17 PM   #461
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The coffee twinks talk to me.
Then I hear it third-hand in a bar at 2:00am. It's a remarkably poor form of communication given the technology we have at our disposal.
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Old 11-06-2017, 02:00 AM   #462
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Then I heard it through the grapevine, at 2 am! .
It's just salacious gossip at that point.
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Old 11-06-2017, 07:03 AM   #463
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It's just grist for the coffee station mill next morning at that point.
Everybody always figures out who's fucking whom.
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Old 11-06-2017, 07:27 AM   #464
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It all comes out in the end.
I think it's more interesting that way. It never gets to begin if it all comes out in the beginning.
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Old 11-06-2017, 11:02 AM   #465
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Yeah, I was pretty stoned that time I saw REM in college.
I can't think clearly. Look to me for reason, it's not there. I can't even rhyme. . . .
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Old 11-06-2017, 12:33 PM   #466
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I got rhythm, I got music, I got my man,
Who could ask for anything more?
*claps* Verra nice. Judy Garland?
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Old 11-06-2017, 04:08 PM   #467
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Clap yo' hands. Ella Fitzgerald?
No, no. It's Den Mother Debby, singing "If you're happy and you know it."
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Old 11-06-2017, 05:24 PM   #468
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No, no. It's Satanic Den Mother Debby, singing "If you're happy and you know it."
I've heard about people like her!
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Old 11-06-2017, 05:35 PM   #469
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I've heard about people who are worse than me!
The ones that are better aren't terribly interesting.
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Old 11-06-2017, 06:39 PM   #470
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Mother Theresa isn't terribly interesting.
Hush your mouth!
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Old 11-06-2017, 06:53 PM   #471
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Shut your mouth!
Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks?

Shaft!!!
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Old 11-06-2017, 09:44 PM   #472
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I think I got the shaft!
Is that like the cold shoulder?
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Old 11-07-2017, 01:36 AM   #473
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I'm going to toy with you, you simple man, because I know your mind is in the gutter.
SHAFT!!!
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Old 11-07-2017, 02:02 AM   #474
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SHIFT!!!
Shut up, I'm driving this car!
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Old 11-07-2017, 02:33 AM   #475
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Shut up, you backseat driver!
But I'm in the front seat . . . sitting right next to you.
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