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Old 10-23-2017, 09:54 PM   #351
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Damn, you're lips feel so good on my cock.
What are you talking about i'm on the other side of the room.... Wait where's my pet snake?
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Old 10-23-2017, 09:54 PM   #352
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Damn, you're good . . . and you only started learning to play chess yesterday?
Uh huh. I lost my first game. That CANNOT be allowed to happen again.

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Wait where's my pet snake?
He ate my chess pieces. That CANNOT be allowed to happen again.
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Old 10-24-2017, 08:39 AM   #353
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Uh huh. I lost my first game. That CANNOT be allowed to happen again.



He ate my chess pieces. That CANNOT be allowed to happen again.
It so upsets me when Mommy and Daddy fight.
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Old 10-24-2017, 11:09 AM   #354
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It so excites me when Mommy and Daddy fight.
In your case, I can imagine; both of your parents used to compete for the World Wrestling Federation.
My Daddy always starts crying after the first blow; soo embarrassing...
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Old 10-24-2017, 03:07 PM   #355
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In your case, I can imagine; both of your parents used to compete for the World Wrestling Federation.
My Daddy always starts crying after the first blow job; soo embarrassing...
Maybe Mommy shouldn't bite so hard.
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Old 10-24-2017, 03:54 PM   #356
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Maybe Mommy shouldn't blame me about ruining Thanksgiving in 1987.
But enough about my issues. I'm hard and want to be bitten.
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Old 10-24-2017, 04:56 PM   #357
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But enough about my tissues. I want my lard to be bitten.
Sorry, no cannibals here.
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Old 10-24-2017, 05:02 PM   #358
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Sorry, no Hannibals here.
Pity, that. I only come to Lit seeking recipes for legumes, and am forever disappointed.
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Old 10-24-2017, 07:34 PM   #359
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I only come to Lit for recipes I can gum and am always disappointed! Dadgummit!
Will you just put your teeth in and eat like everyone else?!
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Old 10-24-2017, 08:07 PM   #360
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Jesus, Joe, you're embarrassing everyone in front of your prospective son-in-law!
I know, I know. But I have to pay for the wedding somehow, and I make a little extra when I work without my teeth. . . .
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Old 10-24-2017, 09:13 PM   #361
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I have to pay for the wedding?! Okay,
I guess it's better than getting married myself.
Agreed.
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Old 10-24-2017, 11:46 PM   #362
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A stitch in time saves return shipping costs.
I always knew you were a practical wench.
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Old 10-24-2017, 11:49 PM   #363
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I always knew you were practically a wench.
At least I wasn't theoretically a wrench.
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Old 10-25-2017, 12:04 AM   #364
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I'm some kinda tool, but I don't know which.
Needle-nose pliers, maybe?
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Old 10-25-2017, 12:07 AM   #365
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Need nose pliers, maybe?
No thanks; I usually cut the hairs with scissors.
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Old 10-25-2017, 12:39 AM   #366
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I have reached an age when hair starts sprouting out of unexpected places.
And I commiserate.
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Old 10-25-2017, 02:27 AM   #367
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My term on the National Misery Commission was quite rewarding.
Who bribed you, and with what?
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Old 10-25-2017, 06:40 AM   #368
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Can I bribe you, and with what?
Chocolate, coffee, sweet red wine, and whiskey.
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Old 10-25-2017, 11:41 AM   #369
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Chocolate, coffee, tart red wine, and whiskey.
Daggonit . . . I was only one word away from falling in love.
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Old 10-25-2017, 04:40 PM   #370
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Doggoneit . . . I was only one word away from falling in love.
What was missing . . . dogs? Sorry, I'm clearly a crazy cat lady.
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Old 10-25-2017, 07:23 PM   #371
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I have secret depths you are aching to explore.
Oh, I don't doubt it. But cats have caused me more misery than I can stand.
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Old 10-25-2017, 07:33 PM   #372
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Oh, I have caused more misery than I can stand.
Say three Hail Marys and ten Our Fathers. Te absolvo. Go and sin no more.
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Old 10-25-2017, 07:47 PM   #373
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Go into the closet and talk to Father Mike.
Yeah, I tried being a good Catholic, but it didn't take. I'm too fond of sodomy.
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Old 10-25-2017, 09:34 PM   #374
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Yeah, I tried rubbing a good Catholic on me, but it didn't seem to take.
Maybe she was faking it.
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Old 10-25-2017, 10:53 PM   #375
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Never let the possibility of failure slip from your mind when making love.
Oh, it's always uppermost to me.
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