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Old 06-03-2017, 04:45 PM   #51
clistenovena
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeandraNyx View Post
I think this is a great example of how you can write a good sex scene without having to use the word "cock" every two seconds, something I could use work on, myself. That could actually be a fun writing exercise: writing an entire sex scene without reference to the genitals! Maybe I'll give it a go someday.
This is, hands down, one of the best ideas I've seen presented. Seriously.

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Originally Posted by LeandraNyx View Post
Blowback incoming, lol!
Called it!

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Originally Posted by LeandraNyx View Post
I mean, I get the sentiment, and there's some truth in there. If you go around with your cleavage spilling out, you're gonna get at least a few quick looks and I'd argue that most people can't really help those sort of reflexive glances. But just standing there and staring? Or making gross comments? Maybe I'm alone here, but nudity--let alone revealing clothing--isn't inherently sexual and it is certainly not an invitation for sexual attention.
While yours is quite an astute perception, one I can honestly appreciate, when it comes to those counted among the population, revealing clothing, and therefore the body therein, is enough to invite the sexual attention, whether it's desired or not. I'm sure there are a goodly number of individuals across the globe who maintain decorum in the face of cleavage, however, too many remain immune to that sort of self-control. With all that said, if I go out wearing little bits of strategically placed fabric, I'm going to expect the staring and comments.

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Originally Posted by LeandraNyx View Post
I mean, even if I am at a play party--where people are expected to be provocative and the play is public--I still don't pull that shit.
Considering your change of venue from out in the regular ol' public to a play party, it's a smart move on anyone's part not to "pull that shit."

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Originally Posted by LeandraNyx View Post
Even if I am talking to someone completely naked--save for a foxtail buttplug and a collar--I look at their face when I'm speaking to them, not their tits.
You're a better person than me. I'd totally be checking out their collar.

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Originally Posted by LeandraNyx View Post
I don't walk up to strangers and say, "Hey, nice ass, looks like it could use a good spanking!"
You don't say that to strangers at the sex party or strangers at the market? The former would be met with quite a different response than the latter. There are some characters to be had in the produce section at the market, let me just say.

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Originally Posted by LeandraNyx View Post
Even at a goddamned sex party, I don't treat people like meat until we've negotiated that it's okay, because it's just common courtesy. I can't imagine behaving that way at a kink event.
"...don't treat people like meat until..." Heh.

You know, some of the most lovely and mindful folks I've ever met have been encountered at play parties. Curious how at these sexually-charged, graphically-minded events, my expectations of respectful behavior are well off the charts. In fact, I'd be rather appalled if I was treated with anything but the highest of regards (outside the negotiations, that is). Out in the vanilla world, a truly different story. No wonder why I prefer one over the other.

Thank you for the respectfully literate blowback. Fun.
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Old 06-03-2017, 04:45 PM   #52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kisandra View Post
I'm wondering what words some people think are turn offs and ons?

Personally, I love the c**t word but reluctant to use it in a story. Can't stand the ch*t word, ridiculous. But that's me; similarly I can't see myself using the p or v word....

Likewise, with butt, ass, rimming etc, how to describe...

And for me, the unexpected or incongruity is key. A ladylike character suddenly coming out with "Oh fuck!" in any setting, is very appealing.

Guys using bad words is a bit boring, unless it's something the woman wants...."go on Dave, say it. You know you want to; we're not in a board meeting."

k
Ok I give. I have been trying all day to figure out what the ch*t word is.
chat
chet
chit
chut
chot

I give up.

I love cunt. One of my favorite words.

Dick, cock, seem interchangeable to me. Once someone told me this though
little boys have dicks, men have cocks
At the time I thought yeah that makes sense, but now I use both freely.
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Old 06-03-2017, 04:48 PM   #53
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Old 06-03-2017, 04:58 PM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeandraNyx View Post
mean, I get the sentiment, and there's some truth in there. If you go around with your cleavage spilling out, you're gonna get at least a few quick looks and I'd argue that most people can't really help those sort of reflexive glances. But just standing there and staring? Or making gross comments? Maybe I'm alone here, but nudity--let alone revealing clothing--isn't inherently sexual and it is certainly not an invitation for sexual attention.
That's exactly the problem I'm having with the Nude contest - I'm not comfortable about it. It might be the climate that causes a different view from me (rarely being exposed to such things), but I don't like revealing clothing. In those situations, I just don't know where and how it's appropriate to look. I'm not an ass-man, I'm not a breasts-man; I don't get attracted by big blobs of meat and fat, but if something is presented and emphasized, I can't help but notice, and anything unusual attracts my attention. The same with disabled people - I try not to look, but I'm curious. But when it concerns disabled people, I hate myself for treating them as different - when it concerns people dressed extravagant, I hate them for making me uncomfortable.

If I manage to finish the more serious story for the Nude Contest (I'm still very much struggling) you might get an idea about what goes on in my head.

Quote:
I mean, even if I am at a play party--where people are expected to be provocative and the play is public--I still don't pull that shit. Even if I am talking to someone completely naked--save for a foxtail buttplug and a collar--I look at their face when I'm speaking to them, not their tits. I don't walk up to strangers and say, "Hey, nice ass, looks like it could use a good spanking!" Even at a goddamned sex party, I don't treat people like meat until we've negotiated that it's okay, because it's just common courtesy. I can't imagine behaving that way at a kink event, let alone with strangers on the street.
I don't think I would ever go there - Even going through the Red-Light district made me feel terrible. I feel sorry for people having to show themselves like that, as I don't believe most of those people do it for fun. Of course, at play parties, it is supposed to be fun, but that's not my type of partying. I honestly wouldn't know where to look, and I would feel very unhappy. Not like a kid in a candy-shop...

It might be me, calling the police if I saw something I consider to be too provocative in public. I have children, and I don't want them to be exposed to too provocative things.
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Old 06-03-2017, 05:20 PM   #55
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Old 06-03-2017, 07:11 PM   #56
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Originally Posted by clistenovena View Post

Quote:
I think this is a great example of how you can write a good sex scene without having to use the word "cock" every two seconds, something I could use work on, myself. That could actually be a fun writing exercise: writing an entire sex scene without reference to the genitals! Maybe I'll give it a go someday.
This is, hands down, one of the best ideas I've seen presented. Seriously.
My writing style is still evolving, but I have taken to writing a lot of sex without much (can't say none--especially in the case of the man's veined, throbbing shaft) explicit reference to the genitals. I like to save the explicit references for the right time.

I haven't made it through a whole sex scene that way.

Edit. I just checked the story I'm writing now and found this:

Quote:
Ximena tugged at Juan Francisco’s breeches until buttons flew and the front came free. She pulled her skirts out of the way when he lifted her, and he found her already wet, warm and soft. She tossed her head back and gasped when he thrust up into her.

Juan Francisco forced Ximena against the wall; she clutched at his shoulders and called his name while he took her. He was about to empty himself inside her, but he lifted her enough to slip out, and instead he emptied himself on her muff and on the smooth skin on the inside of her thighs.
The story is basically a bodice-ripper embedded inside an I/T story.
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Old 06-03-2017, 08:06 PM   #57
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Originally Posted by CoffeeWithMonkeys View Post
Ok I give. I have been trying all day to figure out what the ch*t word is.
chat
chet
chit
chut
chot
"chat" is French for "pussy" (in both meanings) but I don't know if that's what the OP meant.
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Old 06-03-2017, 08:50 PM   #58
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I've had this discussion enough times to know that HITD isn't likely to listen, but some things have to be challenged...

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Originally Posted by HandsInTheDark View Post
Revealing clothing has one purpose - to attract attention.
Nonsense. When I wear shorts I'm not doing it to show off my legs; I'm doing it because it's hot and the sets of "revealing clothing" and "cool clothing" overlap. A tight-fitting T-shirt might be because I've put on weight since I bought it and haven't updated my wardrobe. Or because I like the print on the shirt. Or because it feels snug. Or because I dressed in a hurry and it was the first thing at hand.

It's not always about you. It really, really isn't.

Quote:
If you don't want to be looked at that way, don't go out of your way to wave about the wares. I'll stare if I damn well please, if you dress to be stared at. Looking at things is not (yet) illegal as far as I know.
There is a distinction between "looking" and "staring", and there is a distinction between "not illegal" and "good manners".

Quote:
That doesn't extend to being touched or spoken to rudely. But dressing is visual and dictates a visual response.
Fucksake NO. Dressing is visual to you because you have chosen to make it so. That doesn't mean that every woman who goes to her wardrobe is crafting a message to you. You just aren't that important to her.

Quote:
I am not at all a fan of people dressing to trigger male responses and then trying to tell males where their eyes should be pointing.
I am not a fan of people who have such low expectations of men. I have met enough decent men to know that guys are quite capable of intelligence and self-control, should they choose to exercise it. I think it does a disservice to everybody to talk as if men can't see a female body without losing their minds. (Also somehow the guys who are so eager to talk about male limitations in this context never seem to do that in other contexts; I've never heard anybody declare that men shouldn't be doctors because they can't be trusted to look at a female patient without sleazing on her, etc. etc.)

Most of all, it reeks of laziness. It's like the guy who says "sorry darling, I just can't understand how to cook dinner or wash the dishes, so I guess you'd better do it all".
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Old 06-03-2017, 08:56 PM   #59
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Old 06-03-2017, 09:20 PM   #60
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This got long, and off topic...and I got drunk listening to Ben Harper.
Hope everyone is having a great Saturday night!

And yes chat=cat=pussy, but I wasn't sure the OP meant that.

Cat=kat in Dutch.

Sorry...little drunk...but fuck even when a little drunk I know Dutch and that makes me happy.

bad kamer is the most important thing you need to know in Dutch!
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Old 06-03-2017, 09:58 PM   #61
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Originally Posted by LeandraNyx View Post
OMG, I called it, ever since he recommended some of his work to me and I (thank god) clicked on his bio first. I didn't want to use the word "red piller" though, in case he hadn't yet discovered that cesspool of humanity. I mean, seriously? Roosh V, the dude that still lives in his mom's basement selling testosterone cream and thinks anorexia is awesome? You cannot make this shit up, lol.



True, but there's the distinction. There's a big, big difference between expecting staring and comments--because a surprising proportion of the population is just kinda shitty--and excusing or condoning that behavior. I know that when I go out for a jog in shorts and a tanktop--especially because my boobs are huge--that I'm gonna get hollered at. It happens at least once a week and sometimes I even get followed in a car. Doesn't mean I think the behavior is acceptable and should be brushed off.

Thank you, as well, for your insightful discussion points. I love talking about where sex and social issues meet. It's just fun.



Wait, so I'm confused. On the one hand, it's gross for an old man to leer at a child in jeans, but you still felt compelled to explain to your child that if someone leers at her while she's wearing jeans, it's her fault and she was asking for it? I am, literally, speechless.
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Old 06-04-2017, 12:46 AM   #62
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I can't imagine using the word "cunny"; it has pedo connotations to me, and I've never heard anyone use it in real life.
Hm, that one surprises me, never heard anyone associate it that way before. It's mostly struck me as just an archaism.
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Old 06-04-2017, 12:55 AM   #63
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Hm, that one surprises me, never heard anyone associate it that way before. It's mostly struck me as just an archaism.
I just thought "cunny" was either Aussie or a Briticism. I haven't seen it in a story and I haven't seen it used in a pedo context on the forum.
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Old 06-04-2017, 01:24 AM   #64
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Personally, I like my erotica without vulgarities, and encourage the writers in my various threads to avoid them.

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Old 06-04-2017, 01:33 AM   #65
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Personally, I like my erotica without vulgarities, and encourage the writers in my various threads to avoid them.

Yes, Ma'am. But I thought that this discussion was all about what we (variously) consider to be vulgarities. You may think that cunt is vulgar; I don't. It just has to be used in the right way and it the right context.
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Old 06-04-2017, 01:34 AM   #66
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Originally Posted by LeandraNyx View Post
Poor Noir, he just wants somebody to love him.
If "covfefe" jokes are putting a hat on a hat, I really have to wonder what kind of exercise is trying to turn a Trump typo into a weirdly clumsy homophobic slur.

(I'd tell JBJ to stick to what he's good at if there was any sign of there being such a thing. Pity. I thought at least homophobic slurs might've qualified, but...)

Quote:
I think this is a great example of how you can write a good sex scene without having to use the word "cock" every two seconds, something I could use work on, myself. That could actually be a fun writing exercise: writing an entire sex scene without reference to the genitals! Maybe I'll give it a go someday.
You get scenes like this in literary fiction, sometimes. It's interesting, but what they mostly do -- with some honourable exceptions -- is make me think: "Wow, this person really does not want to mention genitals. That's weird; why are they writing a sex scene that's so phobic about genitals?" Better in small doses, maybe; I liked clistenova's example, too.
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Old 06-04-2017, 06:24 AM   #67
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If "covfefe" jokes are putting a hat on a hat, I really have to wonder what kind of exercise is trying to turn a Trump typo into a weirdly clumsy homophobic slur.

(I'd tell JBJ to stick to what he's good at if there was any sign of there being such a thing. Pity. I thought at least homophobic slurs might've qualified, but...)



You get scenes like this in literary fiction, sometimes. It's interesting, but what they mostly do -- with some honourable exceptions -- is make me think: "Wow, this person really does not want to mention genitals. That's weird; why are they writing a sex scene that's so phobic about genitals?" Better in small doses, maybe; I liked clistenova's example, too.
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Old 06-04-2017, 06:41 AM   #68
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I just thought "cunny" was either Aussie or a Briticism. I haven't seen it in a story and I haven't seen it used in a pedo context on the forum.
It's not modern Australian AFAIK. I've only ever seen it used in historical settings.
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Old 06-04-2017, 07:13 AM   #69
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Originally Posted by Bramblethorn View Post
It's not modern Australian AFAIK. I've only ever seen it used in historical settings.
Wikipedia:

By the 17th century a softer form of the word, "cunny", came into use. A well-known use of this derivation can be found in the 25 October 1668 entry of the diary of Samuel Pepys. He was discovered having an affair with Deborah Willet: he wrote that his wife "coming up suddenly, did find me imbracing the girl con [with] my hand sub [under] su [her] coats; and endeed I was with my main [hand] in her cunny. I was at a wonderful loss upon it and the girl also...."[
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Old 06-04-2017, 07:51 AM   #70
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I don't know if it falls under 'explicit' but on the occasions I find a story that refers to a woman's anatomy as a 'clam' that is an automatic click off. Just nasty...I'd rather see something stupid like "moist treasure box'
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Old 06-04-2017, 08:29 AM   #71
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I've come across clam a few times, pretty sure I stopped reading after that. Maybe it could work in a story about a mermaid.


Doing somewhat the opposite of writing a sex scene without directly referencing genitals could be fun, too. Try coming up with the most horrible and ridiculous way to write it. It could be a "please, don't ever actually put this in a story" list.




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Old 06-04-2017, 09:17 AM   #72
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I've seen "clam," "oyster" (involving the specific phrase "eat my smokey oyster," which I guess was memorably bad enough to stick with me, so that's something) and even "snapper" attested from time to time. Seafood references generally are a No for me, I'll admit; it's supposed to be smut, not a subliminal ad campaign for Red Lobster.
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Old 06-04-2017, 09:51 AM   #73
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Are we still in the dark about what ch*t refers to? I'm curious now. Maybe it was meant to be cl*t, but clit isn't exactly rude, right?
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Old 06-04-2017, 10:00 AM   #74
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Are we still in the dark about what ch*t refers to?
Many have speculated but we have yet to get a ruling from the OP, I think. Who perhaps is unwilling to clarify on account of its being apparently rude enough to censor in the first place. I have a feeling we may never know for sure what they had in mind.

Quote:
I'm curious now. Maybe it was meant to be cl*t, but clit isn't exactly rude, right?
I guess "clit" is mildly rude in being a slang shortening of a more clinical term? In the same way that "vag" is sort of mildly rude. I'm assuming both would qualify as the sort of vulgarities that wouldn't cut it in the court of EmpressJosephine.
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Old 06-04-2017, 12:14 PM   #75
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