Old 04-16-2017, 07:41 AM   #1
Ask For More
Mystery Man
 
Ask For More's Avatar
 
Ask For More is offline
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The New World
Posts: 14,251
Puns

I have a great love of puns. So share your favourite puns here!

Let's start with one of my favourites:

__________________
See you, Space Cowboy

My twitter

Puns

SRP Profile
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-16-2017, 09:35 AM   #2
lesyex19
Literotica Guru
 
lesyex19's Avatar
 
lesyex19 is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,228
As the billy goat said to his wife, "You're kidding!"
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-16-2017, 09:43 AM   #3
Ask For More
Mystery Man
 
Ask For More's Avatar
 
Ask For More is offline
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The New World
Posts: 14,251
What do you get when you mix salmon and nutella?

Salmonella
__________________
See you, Space Cowboy

My twitter

Puns

SRP Profile
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-16-2017, 09:51 AM   #4
Ask For More
Mystery Man
 
Ask For More's Avatar
 
Ask For More is offline
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The New World
Posts: 14,251
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, and I can't put it down.
__________________
See you, Space Cowboy

My twitter

Puns

SRP Profile
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-16-2017, 10:36 AM   #5
lesyex19
Literotica Guru
 
lesyex19's Avatar
 
lesyex19 is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,228
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ask For More View Post
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, and I can't put it down.
It sounds really uplifting!
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-16-2017, 06:33 PM   #6
Ask For More
Mystery Man
 
Ask For More's Avatar
 
Ask For More is offline
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The New World
Posts: 14,251
Quote:
Originally Posted by lesyex19 View Post
It sounds really uplifting!
Something about it repels me, but in a good way.
__________________
See you, Space Cowboy

My twitter

Puns

SRP Profile
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-16-2017, 06:34 PM   #7
Ask For More
Mystery Man
 
Ask For More's Avatar
 
Ask For More is offline
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The New World
Posts: 14,251
__________________
See you, Space Cowboy

My twitter

Puns

SRP Profile
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-16-2017, 06:45 PM   #8
Ask For More
Mystery Man
 
Ask For More's Avatar
 
Ask For More is offline
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The New World
Posts: 14,251
__________________
See you, Space Cowboy

My twitter

Puns

SRP Profile
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-16-2017, 09:13 PM   #9
frustratedthoughts
Taking a Break
 
frustratedthoughts's Avatar
 
frustratedthoughts is offline
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: In the Wrong Place and Time
Posts: 3,430
__________________
Life is too damn short for mediocre sex and bad grammar.
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-16-2017, 11:17 PM   #10
lesyex19
Literotica Guru
 
lesyex19's Avatar
 
lesyex19 is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,228
Reading while sunbathing makes you ... well...red...
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-16-2017, 11:25 PM   #11
VIPER2121
Dealers choice
 
VIPER2121's Avatar
 
VIPER2121 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Lone Star State
Posts: 17,533
Seven days without a pun makes one weak
__________________
"We were inverted"

"Just because I'm a pervert doesn't mean im not a Southern Gentleman"

Seven days without a pun makes one weak
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-17-2017, 07:59 AM   #12
Ask For More
Mystery Man
 
Ask For More's Avatar
 
Ask For More is offline
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The New World
Posts: 14,251
I spent an hour deleting all the Germans from my phone contacts. My phone is now Hans free.
__________________
See you, Space Cowboy

My twitter

Puns

SRP Profile
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-17-2017, 09:50 AM   #13
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
 
done_got_old's Avatar
 
done_got_old is offline
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Lickadick
Posts: 209,238
The astronauts said their experience on the moon was out of this world.
__________________
The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

In dog years I'm dead!


  Reply With Quote

Old 04-17-2017, 10:07 AM   #14
Ask For More
Mystery Man
 
Ask For More's Avatar
 
Ask For More is offline
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The New World
Posts: 14,251
Never trust atoms. They make up everything.
__________________
See you, Space Cowboy

My twitter

Puns

SRP Profile
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-17-2017, 10:09 AM   #15
OldUncleJack
Hers
 
OldUncleJack's Avatar
 
OldUncleJack is offline
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: In her heart
Posts: 7,426
I used to run an origami supplies business - sadly it folded...
__________________
Kitten cuddling, and flirting as ever!
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-17-2017, 10:11 AM   #16
Ask For More
Mystery Man
 
Ask For More's Avatar
 
Ask For More is offline
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The New World
Posts: 14,251
Quote:
Originally Posted by OldUncleJack View Post
I used to run an origami supplies business - sadly it folded...
That reminds me, I wanted to watch the World Origami Championships on TV, but sadly it was on paper view.
__________________
See you, Space Cowboy

My twitter

Puns

SRP Profile
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-17-2017, 10:12 AM   #17
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
 
done_got_old's Avatar
 
done_got_old is offline
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Lickadick
Posts: 209,238
Did you hear of the logger nicknamed Barry the Hatchet?
__________________
The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

In dog years I'm dead!


  Reply With Quote

Old 04-17-2017, 10:13 AM   #18
OldUncleJack
Hers
 
OldUncleJack's Avatar
 
OldUncleJack is offline
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: In her heart
Posts: 7,426
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ask For More View Post
That reminds me, I wanted to watch the World Origami Championships on TV, but sadly it was on paper view.
I bought a newspaper shop after that - it blew away...
__________________
Kitten cuddling, and flirting as ever!
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-17-2017, 10:15 AM   #19
Ask For More
Mystery Man
 
Ask For More's Avatar
 
Ask For More is offline
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The New World
Posts: 14,251
Quote:
Originally Posted by OldUncleJack View Post
I bought a newspaper shop after that - it blew away...
I bet that was a major development.
__________________
See you, Space Cowboy

My twitter

Puns

SRP Profile
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-17-2017, 12:10 PM   #20
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
 
done_got_old's Avatar
 
done_got_old is offline
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Lickadick
Posts: 209,238
One-one was one racehorse: two-one was one too -- two-one won one race: one-one won one too.
__________________
The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

In dog years I'm dead!


  Reply With Quote

Old 04-18-2017, 11:15 AM   #21
lesyex19
Literotica Guru
 
lesyex19's Avatar
 
lesyex19 is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,228
I'm told Dwayne Johnson hates playing Rock, Paper, Scissors because Paper always beats the Rock
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-18-2017, 11:55 AM   #22
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
 
done_got_old's Avatar
 
done_got_old is offline
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Lickadick
Posts: 209,238
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
__________________
The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

In dog years I'm dead!


  Reply With Quote

Old 04-18-2017, 02:38 PM   #23
Ask For More
Mystery Man
 
Ask For More's Avatar
 
Ask For More is offline
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The New World
Posts: 14,251
I farted in my wallet because I needed some gas money.
__________________
See you, Space Cowboy

My twitter

Puns

SRP Profile
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-18-2017, 02:53 PM   #24
lesyex19
Literotica Guru
 
lesyex19's Avatar
 
lesyex19 is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,228
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ask For More View Post
I farted in my wallet because I needed some gas money.
*groan*

Her whine reminded him about the cost of the wine
  Reply With Quote

Old 04-18-2017, 03:15 PM   #25
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
 
done_got_old's Avatar
 
done_got_old is offline
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Lickadick
Posts: 209,238
What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)
__________________
The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

In dog years I'm dead!


  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:39 PM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.