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Old 03-02-2017, 04:25 PM   #1
8letters
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Extended Author Notes for "Comforting My Little Sister"

These are for a story you can read here.

The story behind the story
One day, the image came to me of a woman being fucked from behind. Then she said that it was okay for him to fuck her because he was fucking her from behind. From that little kernel, the whole story idea flowed out. Fucking her from behind would be culmination of many activities where he was behind her. At first, those activities would be fairly innocent but they would get steadily more sexual until one day he penetrated her from behind. Ironically, the first fuck in the story doesn’t happen at all like I had originally envisioned it.

So the next task was coming up with why are the sister and brother in bed together with her facing away from him. I’m not sure where the idea came from of having the girl be coming out of an abusive relationship. I think for a romantic incest story to work, each of the characters have to be isolated. I had read enough to know abusers to do their best to isolate their partners. So the idea of a young woman coming out of an abusive having only her brother to turn to worked for me.

An abuser would tear the girl down, destroy her self-esteem. Then it came to me - give her a flat chest. In porn stories, the girl almost always has big tits. I had been scaling back on that. Small-titted girls deserve some love too. So a flat-chested heroine it was.

I had the premise. Now I need to work out how the story ramped up. I feel a story like this should start with something innocuous so the first scene is very tame - she tells him she’s broken up with her boyfriend. He comforts here by giving her a back rub. She almost falls asleep. Next night is a small step up - she tells him that her boyfriend was abusive to her and asks if she can sleep in the brother’s bed. From there, things slowly ramp up, typically in response to something Jared has done.

I like my stories to have at some point a “What would you do?” scene. What would you do if your sister’s ex-boyfriend sent you a link to lots of pictures of her having sex? Would you look at them? Would you download them? That was a fun scene for me to write.

As I was going to the bathroom to get ready to go to bed, I thought of the telemarketer scene. I had my vitamin and some water in my mouth when I started giggling about that scene so hard that I thought I was going to spit out my vitamin. Thinking about that scene cracked me up several times. I hope it comes across nearly as funny as I found it.

When it came time to come up with a description of Michelle’s looks, I tried to think of someone who was flat-chested and beautiful. Audrey Hepburn was the only person that came to mind. So I wrote the description of Michelle while looking at a picture of Audrey Hepburn.

I wrote the first version and sent it out to beta-readers. I got responses from nine people, some of it quite in-depth. With that in hand, I started re-writing the story. I made so many changes that I can’t list them all. One of the changes were the names - originally the two main characters where Sierra and Aaron. I wasn’t too wild about those names and someone complained that they were too weird. Michelle was the name of a character from a small scene. I cut the scene and gave her name to the main female character. I wanted a “typical” male name and hit upon Chris. The problem with Chris is that it is both a male and female name and I wanted it obvious from the get go that Chris was male. So I came up with the idea of his name being Christopher though only his family used his full name. Hopefully how Michelle said his name struck a chord with the reader.

I made tweaks to the first two-thirds of the story and then re-wrote most of the story from when Michelle catches Christopher looking at pictures of her to the final sex scene. In my first draft, Michelle liked the pictures as they remind her of the good times with Jared and gave Christopher permission to continue to look at them while jacking off. During the sex session while their parents are at the party, I had Christopher deciding he had to fuck Michelle and then taking her doggie-style. Once he buries himself in Michelle, I had her stop him and say she wasn’t ready to fuck. I felt it was too close to rape. And on the flip side - the first time they do something to give Christopher pleasure, Michelle stops it.

One of the problems with the re-write is that I set the story up for their first fuck to be doggie-style and then they never fuck doggie-style. I could have changed the final sex scene to being doggie-style or being her on top flowing into doggie-style. However, (1) sex scenes are hard to me to write so I wasn’t interested in writing a new one and (2) her on top flowing into doggie-style would have matched the way they fuck in “My Sister Set Me Up on a Blind Date”.

What happens next?
At the end of the story, Christopher and Michelle planned out the next couple of years. So they follow that plan and live happily together.

What do I particularly like about this story?
I like to write about current topics and this story had a lot about domestic abuse and cyberbullying. One thing I had never understood before writing this story is why a woman would ever go back to the man who abused her. After writing it, I think I can see why - while she’s away from her man, her self-esteem improves to the point that she thinks she can keep him in line the next time.

Another I liked about this story is that it featured a flat-chested girl. A girl doesn’t need big tits to be attractive. I can’t remember seeing a story on LitE that had a flat-chested girl as the female main character.

What do I think I might get grief about?
* I hope I presented a girl who had been in an abusive relationship in an realistic and sympathetic way. But I could have fallen into a stereotype without knowing it
* Great Ass and Frigid checks. I’m sure that some people will feel that it should be ‘Great Ass’ and ‘Frigid’ checks or “Great Ass” and “Frigid” checks. My editor wanted ‘Great Ass’ and ‘Frigid’ checks. I’ve researched the issue and I think no quotation marks is the correct way to go, but I’m sure that others will disagree
* I’m doubtful that Chris could have gone through the booking process with Jared, but the story worked a lot better with him hanging with Jared will Jared gets processed
* I hope that the story still comes across as a love story and not as an abuse recovery story

What were the inspirations for the sex scenes?
None. The details for the sex scenes flowed naturally from the story itself.

I’m looking for beta-readers
Particularly women. I think getting lots of different perspectives helped me greatly improve this story. I tried to incorporate all of the feedback I got. I’m not looking for suggestions; I’m looking for comments about what strikes the reader as wrong or weak.
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Last edited by 8letters : 03-13-2017 at 02:46 PM.
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Old 03-05-2017, 08:53 AM   #2
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Just putting it out there that this forum is for stories already posted to lit. This thread is about a yet to be released story and you're soliciting beta readers for it so it may still be a bit before it comes out it seems.

You should really wait until a story is published to start a thread about it. As for getting beta readers post in the editors forum or make a note on your home page, I'm sure some of your fans would jump at the chance to get a sneak peek at a story.
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Old 03-05-2017, 10:50 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovecraft68 View Post
Just putting it out there that this forum is for stories already posted to lit. This thread is about a yet to be released story and you're soliciting beta readers for it so it may still be a bit before it comes out it seems.

You should really wait until a story is published to start a thread about it. As for getting beta readers post in the editors forum or make a note on your home page, I'm sure some of your fans would jump at the chance to get a sneak peek at a story.
There's a link in the story to this thread. The only way I can create the link when I submit the story is to create this thread before the story is published.

The story will be published Monday morning.
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Old 03-12-2017, 01:27 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 8letters View Post
There's a link in the story to this thread. The only way I can create the link when I submit the story is to create this thread before the story is published.

The story will be published Monday morning.
You could have put the link in a comment on the story after it is published. You could even put a note at the top of the story telling readers there is (will be) a link in the first comment.
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Old 04-09-2017, 07:24 PM   #5
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I wanted to wait a month before I revisited this thread because I thought this would be a good example of reader apathy and unfortunately it is.

I forgot to check the story when it was on the 30 day top list so have no idea the vote total, but looking at some of the OP's other stories I'd hazard to guess it had at least several hundred perhaps more.

44 comments, 171 favs 84k views all pretty good numbers.

The OP linked this thread in his authors notes and....nothing. No reader interested in coming here to spend a minute or two typing something about an 8 page story written for free to entertain them.

Its really a crying shame what a one way relationship it is between authors and readers here.
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Old 04-09-2017, 07:59 PM   #6
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This thought on an author's part that readers are somehow obligated to comment on what they read is pretty much an author's wishful pipe dream. There's no basis for it in the real world of literature in any form. Authors need to let it go; it isn't going to change for them just because they want the strokes and they are only frustrating themselves needlessly.
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Old 04-10-2017, 12:00 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovecraft68 View Post
I wanted to wait a month before I revisited this thread because I thought this would be a good example of reader apathy and unfortunately it is.

I forgot to check the story when it was on the 30 day top list so have no idea the vote total, but looking at some of the OP's other stories I'd hazard to guess it had at least several hundred perhaps more.
1405 as of this morning.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovecraft68 View Post
44 comments, 171 favs 84k views all pretty good numbers.

The OP linked this thread in his authors notes and....nothing. No reader interested in coming here to spend a minute or two typing something about an 8 page story written for free to entertain them.

Its really a crying shame what a one way relationship it is between authors and readers here.
44 (now 45) comments in little over a month is to me very high for a story with this score. It's the fifth most commented on of my stories and will soon be number 4.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sr71plt View Post
This thought on an author's part that readers are somehow obligated to comment on what they read is pretty much an author's wishful pipe dream. There's no basis for it in the real world of literature in any form. Authors need to let it go; it isn't going to change for them just because they want the strokes and they are only frustrating themselves needlessly.
I write the extended author notes because I like telling people the story behind my stories. I personally find the-story-behind-the-story fascinating. I loved it when Helene Wecker did it for "The Golem and the Jinni". I wished my authors did it. I wished they did it for music videos. For example, the guy at the end of P!nk's video "So What" is her husband Carey Hart, who she was separated from at the time. The video makes a lot more since once you know that.

I think where the extended author notes makes a difference is getting people to volunteer to be beta-readers. I had nine people read and give me feedback on the first draft. I really enjoy hearing from those people.
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Old 04-10-2017, 01:37 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by 8letters View Post
I write the extended author notes because I like telling people the story behind my stories. I personally find the-story-behind-the-story fascinating. I loved it when Helene Wecker did it for "The Golem and the Jinni". I wished my authors did it. I wished they did it for music videos. For example, the guy at the end of P!nk's video "So What" is her husband Carey Hart, who she was separated from at the time. The video makes a lot more since once you know that.

I think where the extended author notes makes a difference is getting people to volunteer to be beta-readers. I had nine people read and give me feedback on the first draft. I really enjoy hearing from those people.
I think writing extended notes for those interested in extended background and posting them here is a good idea--and there usually are people interested in that. I don't think that doing so solely for the purpose of ginning up readership and comments on the stories themselves is going to go much of anywhere, as the forum is disconnected from the story file. But your doing extended background notes and posting them here isn't what I my post was responding to.
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Old 11-22-2017, 10:04 PM   #9
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Well, I guess I'm the exception that proves the rule except that's probably not true as I write too, just not on Literotica. I came here from the story so I could see the author's notes because I'm always interested in how other writers put together a story and where their initial ideas come from. After all, not everybody can be like me and have voices in their heads that won't shut up unless you tell their stories.

I do like this story a great deal. And lovecraft68 is right that readers usually only comment when their comments are negative. Sad really, but that's the way it seems to be.

Oh, and one other thing. I believe that neither Frigid Check nor Great Ass Check should have been in quotes. The way Bletters used it was as a proper noun and so they should have been capitalized, but not in quotes. That would be grammatically incorrect.

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Old 11-27-2017, 07:01 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by KerrikWolf View Post
Well, I guess I'm the exception that proves the rule except that's probably not true as I write too, just not on Literotica. I came here from the story so I could see the author's notes because I'm always interested in how other writers put together a story and where their initial ideas come from. After all, not everybody can be like me and have voices in their heads that won't shut up unless you tell their stories.
Thanks for the post. I'm glad you enjoyed the extended author's notes. As I too like to know the story behind the story, I wish other authors would publish them. So far, it's just me.

Quote:
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I do like this story a great deal. And lovecraft68 is right that readers usually only comment when their comments are negative. Sad really, but that's the way it seems to be.
I think LC68's point is that the lack of comments on my extended author's notes is another sign of reader apathy. I don't take it that way. To me, there's no clear protocol on how readers should express appreciation for my extended author's notes. Probably most of the people reading them don't have a LitE account. I would guess that the vast majority have never posted on the forums before. Some people mention in a comment to a story that they enjoy my extended author's notes while others mention it in a PM. Those are the ways they are used to communicating with authors.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KerrikWolf View Post
Oh, and one other thing. I believe that neither Frigid Check nor Great Ass Check should have been in quotes. The way Bletters used it was as a proper noun and so they should have been capitalized, but not in quotes. That would be grammatically incorrect.
I went through this again with my latest story because "The Night" came up regularly. I used quotes there because my editor and another person with a strong grasp of grammar suggested doing so. I think you can make a case for either putting it in quotes and for capitalizing it.
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Old 12-25-2017, 03:40 AM   #11
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The backstory...

I love reading the backstory. If this forum works for that, then great. I don't think it will have a significant effect on readership though.

Another option one might consider is to add (sort of like an appendix) a final chapter called "Behind the Scenes" at the end of the story. Those not interested would simply skip reading that part. I don't know if that would be ok with the Lit moderators as I've never seen that in a Lit story.

Its just a thought...
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Old 12-27-2017, 01:24 PM   #12
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I love reading the backstory. If this forum works for that, then great. I don't think it will have a significant effect on readership though.
I started publishing extended author notes just because I wanted to share the backstory. I didn't do it to try to increase readership and I'd agree that it doesn't. It might help encourage people to be beta-readers, but I couldn't say for sure.

Quote:
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Another option one might consider is to add (sort of like an appendix) a final chapter called "Behind the Scenes" at the end of the story. Those not interested would simply skip reading that part.
It's an interesting idea. For most readers, I want them to go pretty directly from the end of the story to voting and comments. I'd be concerned that a big block of text, particularly if it spilled over to another page, would reduce the number of votes and comments. Also, I'm happy with my current system and it's what my readers expect. It would be interesting if some other author tried that out so they could compare their results with mine.
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