Mindfondler
Kinkster
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2010
- Posts
- 4,071
(For those with a low boredom threshold, you can go directly to my separate advert as referenced at the bottom of this posting. For those who would first like to understand my core fantasy to see how my advert has arisen, please read on!)
My Lit Name (and what it means)
When I joined the Lit forum more than six years ago, I devised the name "Mindfondler" without really understanding why. It's now clear to me that my then-buried kinky aspect was a subconscious influence. Although I enjoy physical sex and BDSM play, I find both meaningless without a strong emotional and mental connection. Even in my long dry period before I was married, I was never tempted to seek a fuck buddy. My ongoing sexual needs have long since been happily satisfied, but my kinky aspect has remained an itch that wants to be scratched in different ways.
My Core BDSM Fantasy
I realise now that my BDSM fantasies tend to revolve around one concept: enabling spirited women to play out in their heads some fantasies of their own that they secretly enjoy but that make them outwardly uncomfortable. In this D/s play context, I use the power transferred to me by the sub to "force" her to confront her fantasy, giving her my "permission" to enjoy it. This liberates her from any feelings of guilt and allows her to immerse herself unequivocally and fully into the experience, as she can pretend that she doesn't have any choice.
An example might be a woman secured to a Saint Andrew's Cross, blindfolded and completely vulnerable to my influences. We have pre-negotiated about a fantasy that embarrasses her but that she yearns to explore. I tease her gradually about the fantasy, using spoken instructions and other sensual stimuli to guide her through it. If she tries to resist, then I may "punish" her in various physical ways to make her compliant. Alternatively, I might turn up the heat using further suggestions that cruelly expose her desires. The power is in all my hands, and I'm able to express myself creatively through it, but in an ultimately well-intentioned manner. I've done this many times with Mrs MF (and, most recently, with another play partner) and I've always found myself in a calm and controlled headspace, albeit with a tinge of euphoria.
The big "kick" for me is being entrusted to take the power offered by the woman and to use it benevolently and caringly to give her what she desires. For me, that's a huge rush to the head from BDSM play that's independent of a sexual context. It satisfies my deep yearning to nurture and heal (not a surprise, as my Myers-Briggs personality Type Indicator is INFP, which is widely characterised as "Healer/Idealist"). Obviously, though, this level of trust and connection isn't possible with a casual play partner.
My Search
With Mrs MF's blessing, I've been searching for a regular play partner with complementary needs. Specifically, I'm looking for a non-exclusive, "no sex" female BDSM play partner with submissive tendencies (age unimportant), ideally in or around London, UK. I'm in this for the long haul — I'm seeking compatibility rather than a quick fix.
You can find full information (covering all of the sensible stuff as well) in my separate detailed personals advert <-- click link. I think it's unlikely that a suitable person will stumble across this advert without prompting, so if you're reading this and happen to have someone in mind, then please could you do me an enormous favour and pass on the link to them!
Also, if anyone has any constructive feedback on this advert (for example, how I can improve it) then I'll be delighted to receive it. I'd also love to hear that it presses the right buttons for some people, even if the circumstances aren't right. I promise to treat all replies with the respect that they deserve and on the terms that they indicate.
Thank you for reading this far! I hope it was worth it.
.
My Lit Name (and what it means)
When I joined the Lit forum more than six years ago, I devised the name "Mindfondler" without really understanding why. It's now clear to me that my then-buried kinky aspect was a subconscious influence. Although I enjoy physical sex and BDSM play, I find both meaningless without a strong emotional and mental connection. Even in my long dry period before I was married, I was never tempted to seek a fuck buddy. My ongoing sexual needs have long since been happily satisfied, but my kinky aspect has remained an itch that wants to be scratched in different ways.
My Core BDSM Fantasy
I realise now that my BDSM fantasies tend to revolve around one concept: enabling spirited women to play out in their heads some fantasies of their own that they secretly enjoy but that make them outwardly uncomfortable. In this D/s play context, I use the power transferred to me by the sub to "force" her to confront her fantasy, giving her my "permission" to enjoy it. This liberates her from any feelings of guilt and allows her to immerse herself unequivocally and fully into the experience, as she can pretend that she doesn't have any choice.
An example might be a woman secured to a Saint Andrew's Cross, blindfolded and completely vulnerable to my influences. We have pre-negotiated about a fantasy that embarrasses her but that she yearns to explore. I tease her gradually about the fantasy, using spoken instructions and other sensual stimuli to guide her through it. If she tries to resist, then I may "punish" her in various physical ways to make her compliant. Alternatively, I might turn up the heat using further suggestions that cruelly expose her desires. The power is in all my hands, and I'm able to express myself creatively through it, but in an ultimately well-intentioned manner. I've done this many times with Mrs MF (and, most recently, with another play partner) and I've always found myself in a calm and controlled headspace, albeit with a tinge of euphoria.
The big "kick" for me is being entrusted to take the power offered by the woman and to use it benevolently and caringly to give her what she desires. For me, that's a huge rush to the head from BDSM play that's independent of a sexual context. It satisfies my deep yearning to nurture and heal (not a surprise, as my Myers-Briggs personality Type Indicator is INFP, which is widely characterised as "Healer/Idealist"). Obviously, though, this level of trust and connection isn't possible with a casual play partner.
My Search
With Mrs MF's blessing, I've been searching for a regular play partner with complementary needs. Specifically, I'm looking for a non-exclusive, "no sex" female BDSM play partner with submissive tendencies (age unimportant), ideally in or around London, UK. I'm in this for the long haul — I'm seeking compatibility rather than a quick fix.
You can find full information (covering all of the sensible stuff as well) in my separate detailed personals advert <-- click link. I think it's unlikely that a suitable person will stumble across this advert without prompting, so if you're reading this and happen to have someone in mind, then please could you do me an enormous favour and pass on the link to them!
Also, if anyone has any constructive feedback on this advert (for example, how I can improve it) then I'll be delighted to receive it. I'd also love to hear that it presses the right buttons for some people, even if the circumstances aren't right. I promise to treat all replies with the respect that they deserve and on the terms that they indicate.
Thank you for reading this far! I hope it was worth it.
.
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