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Old 05-25-2017, 03:19 AM   #126
tryn2Bgood
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First, I can agree with the answers already given: It feels right. I just am. It's nice to hand over control to someone else so you don't have to make decisions. Being told what to do turns me on. It makes me feel special, important, loved, cherished, and taken care of. Feeling safe and protected...

But for me, the main reason is...its real and honest. It's pure, unaffected by social norms. It's liberating to just be who you are without being judged. It's exciting to explore things you might be nervous about but with the security of someone you undoubtedly trust. The vulnerability of opening up completely to someone can be intense but insanely intimate. Surrendering control to the one who can take you places you never imagined is extremely rewarding. And it's a feeling I can only get by truly submitting.

I've been in 'vanilla' relationships and had amazing sex, but it still felt like one or both of us was holding back...not doing something because the other person might not like it or might find it weird. Even outside the bedroom things are often censored...to protect the other's feelings or to maintain the illusion of the image you created. If you're suppressing some of your desires or part of who you are...it's not real and honest.
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Old 05-25-2017, 09:03 AM   #127
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Good answer..

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Originally Posted by tryn2Bgood View Post
First, I can agree with the answers already given: It feels right. I just am. It's nice to hand over control to someone else so you don't have to make decisions. Being told what to do turns me on. It makes me feel special, important, loved, cherished, and taken care of. Feeling safe and protected...

But for me, the main reason is...its real and honest. It's pure, unaffected by social norms. It's liberating to just be who you are without being judged. It's exciting to explore things you might be nervous about but with the security of someone you undoubtedly trust. The vulnerability of opening up completely to someone can be intense but insanely intimate. Surrendering control to the one who can take you places you never imagined is extremely rewarding. And it's a feeling I can only get by truly submitting.

I've been in 'vanilla' relationships and had amazing sex, but it still felt like one or both of us was holding back...not doing something because the other person might not like it or might find it weird. Even outside the bedroom things are often censored...to protect the other's feelings or to maintain the illusion of the image you created. If you're suppressing some of your desires or part of who you are...it's not real and honest.
Only one man has fucked me, love it. I know he is kind and wont hurt me. Its amazing how that helps his cock go into my willing ass. The first time he fucked it, it was difficult and didnt really work. Now its easy and fun and so swell when he cums in my faggot ass.
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Old 05-25-2017, 09:08 AM   #128
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Sub for a special man

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Originally Posted by FantasySlut View Post
Only one man has fucked me, and we are still lovers. He wont hurt me, and outside of the bedroom, we are just pals, we travel together, etc. He is cute, kind, and well educated. He could have anyone.

For Ruben: here's how I see it. Its not right to play with another's feelings. Maybe thats how it ends up, but to be a ball of clay for someone, not for me. If you enjoy playing with somebody else's heart, I hope I never meet you.
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Old 07-31-2017, 06:59 PM   #129
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Originally Posted by dacoach44 View Post
Only one man has fucked me, and we are still lovers. He wont hurt me, and outside of the bedroom, we are just pals, we travel together, etc. He is cute, kind, and well educated. He could have anyone.

For Ruben: here's how I see it. Its not right to play with another's feelings. Maybe thats how it ends up, but to be a ball of clay for someone, not for me. If you enjoy playing with somebody else's heart, I hope I never meet you.
Well, that was honest and charming! Thank you
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Old 07-31-2017, 09:30 PM   #130
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What do you feel when you are being /humiliated/dominated?
What is the feeling and the aim of being submissive to another person? How does it feel good?

Let's all share our feelings.
When a guy humiliates me, talks down to me, degrades me I first feel a flash of anger - How dare he? But that is soon followed by a long deep slow burn deep down inside as my body begins to respond.

I personally think its bread into us by thousands of years of being dependent on the male for our survival. The female that submitted enhanced her chances of surviving to pass on that trait to her female children.

Or who knows maybe I really AM just a slut. Who am I to say?
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Old 08-01-2017, 07:32 AM   #131
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Well Staci:

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Originally Posted by staciliv View Post
When a guy humiliates me, talks down to me, degrades me I first feel a flash of anger - How dare he? But that is soon followed by a long deep slow burn deep down inside as my body begins to respond.

I personally think its bread into us by thousands of years of being dependent on the male for our survival. The female that submitted enhanced her chances of surviving to pass on that trait to her female children.

Or who knows maybe I really AM just a slut. Who am I to say?
I learned 50 years ago in school that what counts most in the affairs of people is the concept of human dignity. If you know that your lover likes humiliation, thats one thing. But to intentionally hurt another human, that's cruel. You dont need him in your life. My daughters would never stand for that. Thats how I raised all of my kids. There's room for teasing and RP, but only when you really know the other. In evolutionary terms, women were sub for lots of reasons. Today, they dont have to be.
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Old 08-02-2017, 09:36 PM   #132
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I learned 50 years ago in school that what counts most in the affairs of people is the concept of human dignity. If you know that your lover likes humiliation, thats one thing. But to intentionally hurt another human, that's cruel. You dont need him in your life. My daughters would never stand for that. Thats how I raised all of my kids. There's room for teasing and RP, but only when you really know the other. In evolutionary terms, women were sub for lots of reasons. Today, they dont have to be.
But we WANT to be subs. All of us, every one, although some of us don't know it or don't acknowledge it.
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Old 08-03-2017, 07:12 AM   #133
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That's fair

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Originally Posted by staciliv View Post
But we WANT to be subs. All of us, every one, although some of us don't know it or don't acknowledge it.
If you an adult who has thought it through. I hope it doesnt lead to victimhood and disappointment.
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Old 08-03-2017, 07:42 AM   #134
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Originally Posted by staciliv View Post
But we WANT to be subs. All of us, every one, although some of us don't know it or don't acknowledge it.
Uh.
What about dominatrixes?
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Old 08-03-2017, 10:46 AM   #135
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I learned 50 years ago in school that what counts most in the affairs of people is the concept of human dignity. If you know that your lover likes humiliation, thats one thing. But to intentionally hurt another human, that's cruel. You dont need him in your life. My daughters would never stand for that. Thats how I raised all of my kids. There's room for teasing and RP, but only when you really know the other. In evolutionary terms, women were sub for lots of reasons. Today, they dont have to be.
I like this.
You are talking about feminism, and the difference between forced submission by society and a submissive relationship. I struggled with this until fairly recently.
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Old 08-03-2017, 10:51 AM   #136
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I see that.

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I like this.
You are talking about feminism, and the difference between forced submission by society and a submissive relationship. I struggled with this until fairly recently.
Its just that I am SOOO old, and very protective of my two girls. Nothing wrong if you wanna be a sub. I do it with my gay cock, but just in the bedroom. I am curious about this side of a romance. He is gentle and affectionate. But on the street, we are just pals.

Forced submission by society is shit I wont have. All of us Southern-types are naturally rebellious, and dont care for anyone else having a vote on our conduct. Yet I was in the Army for 23 years, and know all about being ordered around.

I suppose this evolves, but the basics of human nature and dignity remain for me.
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Old 08-03-2017, 10:59 AM   #137
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Exactly...it's the fact that He's completely taken over my being, and has a direct connection to what's going on in my head, and with a look can send shivers through my body. It's the fact that I *want* Him to know me completely, and at my most vulnerable. I have met a few people who were submissive solely in the bedroom, but for me it's beyond that. Of course I derive pleasure from being submissive sexually, but I also get extreme pleasure knowing that I've done something to make Him happy outside of the bedroom.

Again...so hard to put into words, because it's not something that can really be explained (at least not for me...) it's mostly the connection, and the feeling I get...it's a natural groove that we both fit into....
Oh, I think you expressed yourself with great depth. You took the words right out of my mouth
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Old 08-03-2017, 11:05 AM   #138
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True, RopeBunz

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Oh, I think you expressed yourself with great depth. You took the words right out of my mouth
Its interesting to be totally vulnerable, to put that sort of trust in another. I think we all need that, at some level. If for nothing else, to remind us that we are NOT alone.
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Old 08-03-2017, 11:18 AM   #139
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Uh.
What about dominatrixes?
I always feel like the kind of thing expressed in that one's post is all about shame. They feel shame that they like being submissive so they take that and apply it to "all." It's like the women that join male supremacist groups and egg them on and wish that women had no rights. Thinking with the cunt much? Anyway, instead of just enjoying that they like submitting they come up with these crazy schemes to explain that they aren't the abnormal ones, everyone of their gender is like them and they just don't know it and as soon as society changes to reflect this it will all be as it should.

I really wish they would get it through their heads that we don't give a damn about how submissive they are and they can just go off and be slaves to men if they want but leave the rest of us alone.
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Old 08-03-2017, 09:47 PM   #140
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Uh.
What about dominatrixes?
They do it for money. I once worked in a dungeon in Atlanta (one evening a week and I gave all my earnings to charity). It was fun when a guy paid $200 to suck my toes for an hour - but none of it really turned me on.
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Old 08-03-2017, 10:36 PM   #141
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Quote:
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Uh.
What about dominatrixes?
Quote:
Originally Posted by staciliv View Post
They do it for money. I once worked in a dungeon in Atlanta (one evening a week and I gave all my earnings to charity). It was fun when a guy paid $200 to suck my toes for an hour - but none of it really turned me on.
Maybe some do it for money, but not all. You don't really think that, do you?
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Old 08-03-2017, 11:17 PM   #142
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Maybe being submissive is something you are born with ..male or female..
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Old 08-04-2017, 07:28 AM   #143
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Meek...

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Originally Posted by MeekMe View Post
I always feel like the kind of thing expressed in that one's post is all about shame. They feel shame that they like being submissive so they take that and apply it to "all." It's like the women that join male supremacist groups and egg them on and wish that women had no rights. Thinking with the cunt much? Anyway, instead of just enjoying that they like submitting they come up with these crazy schemes to explain that they aren't the abnormal ones, everyone of their gender is like them and they just don't know it and as soon as society changes to reflect this it will all be as it should.

I really wish they would get it through their heads that we don't give a damn about how submissive they are and they can just go off and be slaves to men if they want but leave the rest of us alone.
That's hilarious. I dont think its normal to be uber submissive; but I play that role with my gay lover, just for a lark. Out of the bed, we are 50-50, laff like buddies just out for a stroll. I dont brag or go on about it; I do it, for now anyway, out of curiousity. Its only with sex.
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Old 08-04-2017, 12:59 PM   #144
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Quote:
Originally Posted by staciliv View Post
When a guy humiliates me, talks down to me, degrades me I first feel a flash of anger - How dare he? But that is soon followed by a long deep slow burn deep down inside as my body begins to respond.

I personally think its bread into us by thousands of years of being dependent on the male for our survival. The female that submitted enhanced her chances of surviving to pass on that trait to her female children.

Or who knows maybe I really AM just a slut. Who am I to say?
But you're our slut, staciliv!

Now heel!
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Old 08-04-2017, 05:15 PM   #145
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That's hilarious. I dont think its normal to be uber submissive; but I play that role with my gay lover, just for a lark. Out of the bed, we are 50-50, laff like buddies just out for a stroll. I dont brag or go on about it; I do it, for now anyway, out of curiousity. Its only with sex.
Coach, I've always just used the term "bedroom games" for this kind of stuff. For most, I think there is a natural bent one way or the other. But it's not hyper Dom or super Sub...just a natural tendency one feels inside. (and some, like me and I think you, tend to switch it around) But these natural tendencies get to be brought out in flames of glory in the "bedroom games"...for an hour or so. Then, it's back to a normal life. (not to say that everyone is like this. Obviously, there are some who do desire it full time...but not most people)
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Old 08-04-2017, 08:23 PM   #146
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I always feel like the kind of thing expressed in that one's post is all about shame. They feel shame that they like being submissive so they take that and apply it to "all." It's like the women that join male supremacist groups and egg them on and wish that women had no rights. Thinking with the cunt much? Anyway, instead of just enjoying that they like submitting they come up with these crazy schemes to explain that they aren't the abnormal ones, everyone of their gender is like them and they just don't know it and as soon as society changes to reflect this it will all be as it should.

I really wish they would get it through their heads that we don't give a damn about how submissive they are and they can just go off and be slaves to men if they want but leave the rest of us alone.
Hahah. Exactly.

It's part of a popular movement: you're not doing it right.
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Old 08-05-2017, 04:38 PM   #147
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It's like floating on my back in a pool with my arms outstretched and my eyes closed, and he is the water beneath me.

I am untethered, I am entirely vulnerable. And yet, he holds me.


Wow that's exactly it
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Old 08-31-2017, 01:44 AM   #148
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When with the right person, it's an amazing thing. There's a freedom in being controlled, a strength in being vulnerable. Its in the safety of being his that I can play and explore. It's in the safety of being his where I am who I am and who I can be.
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Old 08-31-2017, 02:18 PM   #149
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When with the right person, it's an amazing thing. There's a freedom in being controlled, a strength in being vulnerable. Its in the safety of being his that I can play and explore. It's in the safety of being his where I am who I am and who I can be.
Wonderful thoughts!
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Old 09-03-2017, 06:09 PM   #150
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When with the right person, it's an amazing thing. There's a freedom in being controlled, a strength in being vulnerable. Its in the safety of being his that I can play and explore. It's in the safety of being his where I am who I am and who I can be.
I would like to try this sometime. Letting go and letting someone else control me sounds amazing.
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