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Old 08-28-2016, 01:49 PM   #1
RipperFish
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The Savage Shore Universe

I think this is the right place for this subject. If I am wrong, I'm sure someone will point me in the right direction.

Anyway, I am RipperFish, author of 'Upon a Savage Shore' and my new story, 'Storm World'. Several readers have asked for clarification on a few things, but mostly people want to know about the races in my stories and specifically what the different breeds of jZav'Etch look like. I have tried to give good descriptions in the text of my stories, but seem to have failed. Perhaps here I can do better.

jZav'Etch - Large, felinoid beings originating from the planet jZav. There are three breeds of jZav'Etch, though, in previous epochs there were more. Wars and disease as well as interbreeding resulted in the three remaining breeds. The jZav'Etch are actually a somewhat older race than Humans. Due to their social and evolutionary makeup, though, they started into space exploration later in their development than did the people of Earth. Their technology is roughly equivalent to that of the Conglomerated Planets (the largest Human political entity). jZav'Etch are more advanced in some areas and less so in others. The two races, therefore, are approximately in parity.

Breeds of jZav'Etch:
dTel'Qohar - The largest of the three surviving breeds, they are also the most populous. dTel'Qohar look like a blend of human anatomy and African lions without manes. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say their features are a blend of lions, cougars and common house cats and humans. They are a gender dimorphic breed with the males being larger than the females, though the females can be quite large. Their ancestors evolved on the planes and grasslands of jZav, hunting various herd animals.

dTel'Qohar, like all jZav'Etch, are covered in fur. This ranges in color from platinum to dark russet in color. Usually the tips of their extremities (tale, ears, fingers and toes) are a darker or lighter shade, often going to black or white. Some dTel'Qohar have what they call "day hunter" marks under their eyes which look like elongated apostrophes with the ball end at the corner of the eye nearest their muzzle and tapering off as the mark goes out towards side of their head. These marks are vestiges from pre-sentient times when the dTel'Qohar hunted primarily in the twilight hours or at night. Day hunters developed the markings under their eyes so that they were able to hunt more effectively in full daylight. The black marking absorbs UV light to take the haze off of what they see. (Similar markings can be found on Earthly cats if the reader wants a better idea of what they look like. Though, the markings on house cats tend to be confined at the corner of the eye.)

Average height of a dTel'Qohar male = 6'4"/1.9 meters
Average height of a dTel'Qohar female = 5'8"/1.7 meters

Thahn 'Den - The least populous of the three breeds, Thahn 'Den are not as large as dTel'Qohar and are generally not as robustly built. They are also less gender dimorphic with the males being only slightly larger than the females on average. Their physical appearance is more or less the same as dTel'Qohar, but they have pronounced manes and their fur is striped. Their ears also slightly pointed. Their base coats are a broad range of colors from leaf green to a dark burgundy that is nearly black. Most commonly their coats are of one of the red hues , though. Usually their manes are much darker than their base coat as are their stripes. Manes and stripes are never lighter than their base coats. Like dTel'Qohar, Thahn 'Den frequently have dark tips on their extremities. Additionally, they can have blazes of white on their chests or muzzles, though these markings are not common. Thahn 'Den evolved in the forest and jungle regions of jZav.

Average height of a Thahn 'Den male = 5'6"/1.67 meters
Average height of a Thahn 'Den female = 5'4"/1.62 meters

Pah'Tht - The smallest of the three breeds, Pah'Tht are not gender dimorphic, though, the males tend to be more muscular than the females. Pah'Tht have a blending of Human anatomy and that of Earthly lynx or wild cat. In stead of rounded ears like their larger cousins they have sharply pointed ears with small tufts of long hair at the tips of their ears. Also, their ears are slightly larger in proportion to their heads. Their fur is somewhat longer than the other breeds and is mottled. They usually have light colored fur on their chest and belly and the insides of their arms and legs. Most common coloration is grey and brown with some black spots for their summer coat and light grey and tan with dark grey spots for their winter coat. Some Pah'Tht have very light coloration. A pale yellow or whey color blended with a light brown with broad, slightly darker stripes is frequently seen among those native to regions where the winter lasts for more than half the year. Pah'Tht evolved in the hills, mountains and subarctic forests of jZav, therefore they prefer cold climates.

Average height of a Pah'Tht = 4'4"/1.3 meters

I think that just about covers the basics. If readers have more questions I will do my best to answer them here or in the stories.

RipperFish

Addendum: Some folks suggested I should add further details here rather than leave them for later in the thread.

Character list for 'Storm World':

Females:

M`peth qHo – M`peth: Pronounced with the ‘M’ distinct from ‘peth’ (mm-peth). qHo: Pronounced like ‘co’ with a long ‘O’ like in ‘no’ or ‘go’.

Rank – Ne`M`el (nee-m-el) – Commander

Thahn `Den – Military Intelligence – Thirty years old. Shoulder length, blue/black mane, auburn fur with blue/black stripes and a diamond shaped white blaze on her chest starting on her throat and ending below her sternum, black tips on her fingers, toes, ears and tail. Dark gold eyes. 5’6”/167cm tall. 34/24/36. Small, firm breasts, trim waist, firm, well-shaped butt and good legs.

Liat`del Qha – Liat: Pronounced Lee-at. `del: Pronounced ‘del’, but the ‘D’ should be distinct from the ‘T’ in ‘Liat’. Qha: Pronounced ‘cha’ like in the phonetic form of ‘got you’ – ‘gotcha’.

Rank – Pilot (Interstellar) – Equivalent to a first lieutenant.

Pah`Tht – pilot – Twenty-five years old. Light brown, blonde and white fur mixed with silver-grey highlights. Crystal blue eyes. 4’3” tall. 34/25/35. Large, firm breasts, flat tummy, firm, round butt and shapely legs.

Tem l`eth tong – Tem: Pronounced ‘tem’. l`eth: Pronounced l-eth. ‘eth’ is pronounced distinctly from the ‘L’. tong: Pronounced ‘tong’.

dTel`Qohar – veteran weapons specialist – Thirty-six years old. Dark golden fur. Light green eyes with dark “day hunter” marks below her eyes. Fur on her muzzle has faded to lighter gold with age. 5’9” /175cm tall. 36/24/36. Very large, firm breasts, slim waist, nice butt and athletic legs. (Sustained a leg wound during the escape from the ship.)

Ty`em P`tral – Ty`em: Pronounced ‘tie-em’. P`tral: Pronounced ‘pah-trall’.

Thahn `Den – engineer – Twenty four years old. Thick, curly black mane, dark reddish tan fur with black stripes, black tips on her fingers, toes, ears and tail. 5’ 4” tall. 32/24/34. Small breasts, trim waist, tight butt and nice legs. (Broke her shoulder and fractured three ribs during the escape from the ship.)

Ima` Nef`Tn – Ima`: Pronounced ‘ima’ with a short ‘I’ (like in ‘him’ or ‘hit’) and an ‘a-h’ sound (like in the exclamation ‘ah!’). Nef: Pronounced ‘nef’. `Tn: Pronounced like ‘tin’ with no distinct ‘I’ sound. Strung together it is imah-nef-tin.

dTel`Qohar – weapons technician – Twenty-five years old. Red-gold fur, dark green eyes, white tips to her ears. 5’8” tall. 34/26/38. Firm breasts, flat tummy, big, firm butt and good legs.

Males:

Chep `Urt vEss - Chep: Pronounced 'chep'. `Urt: Pronounced 'ert' with an 'e' sound as in 'her'. vEss: Pronounced 'veeyss' with a long 'e' sound as in 'we'.

Rank – Gunner (Ship's Weapons) – Equivalent to first lieutenant.

dTel`Qohar – Gunnery Systems Specialist – Twenty-six years old. Tawny fur, golden eyes with black tufts on his ears and the tip of his tail. 6’8”/203cm tall. Muscular build.

TaH `Kiy mTh – TaH: Pronounced 'tah' with more of a breathy 'H' sound at the end. `Kiy: Pronounced 'key' with a very clipped 'K' sound at the beginning. mTh: Pronounced 'm-hith'.

Thahn `Den – engineer – Twenty-three years old. Red-orange fur with a very dark, nearly black mane, burgundy stripes and grey eyes. 5’7”/170cm tall. Trim build.

Last edited by RipperFish : 03-27-2017 at 12:19 PM. Reason: I want to add details and make things easier on my readers.
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Old 08-28-2016, 04:10 PM   #2
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Old 08-28-2016, 07:59 PM   #3
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Your readers would probably really appreciate a blog. Maybe on tumblr? I don't think most readers look at the boards, especially not the AH.
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Old 08-28-2016, 08:11 PM   #4
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Why would you try here instead of being more clear in your story...that's where it counts.
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Old 08-28-2016, 08:48 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jomar View Post
Why would you try here instead of being more clear in your story...that's where it counts.
Well, jomar, I was specifically asked to create something like a glossary. Better to do it here I thought. Also, in this thread I'll be able to address specific questions if the readers want to ask them.
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Old 08-28-2016, 09:01 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by RipperFish View Post
Well, jomar, I was specifically asked to create something like a glossary. Better to do it here I thought. Also, in this thread I'll be able to address specific questions if the readers want to ask them.
Ah. I guess you could drop it into an appendix in each story so readers could refer to it, but as a reader I think I'd prefer to learn about the races as we go along.


So you know, readers don't come here so you won't be able to address their questions on the AH.
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Last edited by jomar : 08-28-2016 at 09:05 PM.
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Old 08-28-2016, 09:20 PM   #7
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If you need a backgrounder on your setting, it might be worth putting one up in NonErotic, maybe, that you can link people to when they ask?
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Old 08-28-2016, 09:53 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by jomar View Post
Ah. I guess you could drop it into an appendix in each story so readers could refer to it, but as a reader I think I'd prefer to learn about the races as we go along.


So you know, readers don't come here so you won't be able to address their questions on the AH.
I considered an appendix, but I would have to drop it into the first chapter which seems completely the wrong place for it. And I am trying to describe each character as I go along from the point of view of other characters. I've also been including general information about the different breeds without making a laundry list or an inventory. However, the specifics of the races as I've laid them out here would slow things down quite a bit. I'd rather focus on telling the story.

From your other statement am I to take it that readers are not allowed to post on this thread? I ask because I am directing them here with the intention of answering their questions when I can. Should I have created this thread elsewhere? Perhaps I misunderstood the purpose of the forum.
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Old 08-28-2016, 10:04 PM   #9
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There's no reason readers couldn't post here that I know of. I think jomar just meant it's uncommon to see them here.
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Old 08-29-2016, 03:41 AM   #10
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Another thing you could do is just put the information directly on your biography page. Readers would probably be more apt to find it there than here.

P.S. I read Savage Shore as it was coming out and really enjoyed it.
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Old 08-29-2016, 06:35 PM   #11
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There's no reason readers couldn't post here that I know of. I think jomar just meant it's uncommon to see them here.
Correct.
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Old 08-29-2016, 06:43 PM   #12
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I'm of the make it clear in the body of your story because the reader isn't going to go anywhere else for better clarification school of writing.
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Old 09-01-2016, 04:05 AM   #13
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Thanks for this, though I do think a separate 'story' entry with the info would be better.
If need be update and replace or add another entry.

I read Savage Shore as it came out, but didn't want to re-read it just to refresh who was what in my mind.
Yeah, I know that's being a lazy reader, but the sadder thing is I'm less lazy than the average reader.
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Old 09-01-2016, 07:52 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Tw0Cr0ws View Post
Thanks for this, though I do think a separate 'story' entry with the info would be better.
If need be update and replace or add another entry.

I read Savage Shore as it came out, but didn't want to re-read it just to refresh who was what in my mind.
Yeah, I know that's being a lazy reader, but the sadder thing is I'm less lazy than the average reader.
The problem with making an addition to one or both stories at this point is the amount of time it would take to convert my notes to something readers would be able to follow. Most of my notes are nothing more than short descriptions and sometimes they are pretty disjointed. They have no flow the way my stories do simply because they are notes to me and need serve only as reminders of my train of thought. Converting them would distract me from writing the story and delay the next chapter which is already in danger of being delayed due to RL issues and lack of sleep on my part. Maybe I will write a companion piece for the stories once I've finished with 'Storm World'. Perhaps I could even structure it like an intelligence report for the Conglomerated Planets High Command. That might even be fun for me to work on.

I don't really expect my readers to be energetic. I mean, most folks are reading in order to relax or distract themselves from their daily stresses. Those are two of the reasons I write, after all. I'm trying to apply what I learned from my experience of writing UaSS and include more details in the body of the text so people can follow along and enjoy the adventure without having to remember too much. That was one reason I limited the number of characters and maintained as simple a plot as I could with the first story. It's also why I spent so much time writing from Liam's and M'pel E'kmel's POVs and only later expanded to include more of Clot'ilda and Tem'Ma'tel. I got the impression that was only partly successful because several people wanted more from the latter two well before I had planned to expand on them.

What I'm trying to say, Tw0Cr0ws, is be as lazy as you like. I'm trying to make things easy on you and the other readers.
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Old 09-01-2016, 10:22 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by RipperFish View Post
Maybe I will write a companion piece for the stories once I've finished with 'Storm World'. Perhaps I could even structure it like an intelligence report for the Conglomerated Planets High Command. That might even be fun for me to work on.
That sounds like a good idea to me. It would be a good way for you to include any information you would like to help expand the UaSS universe and give us details that we might nit get from the story alone (as well as anything that may not be pertinent to the actual story), especially if it contains Intel reports from both sides.
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Old 09-04-2016, 12:45 PM   #16
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... especially if it contains Intel reports from both sides.
I had not thought of that. It's an interesting idea. It would be a way for me to give the jZav'Etch perspective of the CP and show how they interpret or misinterpret Human behavior. Thanks for the suggestion.
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Old 09-06-2016, 09:14 PM   #17
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I had not thought of that. It's an interesting idea. It would be a way for me to give the jZav'Etch perspective of the CP and show how they interpret or misinterpret Human behavior. Thanks for the suggestion.
Add me to the list of those that think it is a good idea.
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Old 09-12-2016, 02:44 AM   #18
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I have a question regarding the creation of the story. I've noticed a lack of speed in uploads. Is that because you were more enthused about writing UaSS? Or is this story just harder to write for?
Sorry if I seem b×tchy or ungrateful, I don't mean to come off as that. I just have a genuine interest in how writing this story has differed from writing your last story. (I realise this could be done through PM, but I think other people might be curious as well?)
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Old 09-12-2016, 03:34 PM   #19
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I have a question regarding the creation of the story. I've noticed a lack of speed in uploads. Is that because you were more enthused about writing UaSS? Or is this story just harder to write for?
Sorry if I seem b×tchy or ungrateful, I don't mean to come off as that. I just have a genuine interest in how writing this story has differed from writing your last story. (I realise this could be done through PM, but I think other people might be curious as well?)
Asking questions is what I started this thread for. I'm glad you're using it and I think you're correct about other people being interested in my answer.

As for the updates and new chapters- I have been submitting chapters every two weeks and will try to keep to that schedule. This week I'm a day behind because I ran into a plot hole and have taken some time to repair it. Actually, I ran into two plot holes and discovered an opportunity to advance the story by fixing one of them. I should be completing the edit this evening and submitting chapter three tonight. It should be available in three days. That seems to be the turn around time so far.

As to why this story is taking longer to post- I have a different work schedule than I did two years ago and my time writing is far more limited. Also, the work I am doing now is physically taxing and I often find myself too drained to be creative. And when I was writing UaSS everything was new and I could let the characters grow as I wrote. This time I am making an effort to keep the characters fresh and not simply have clones of my original four characters. I confess, Benjamin is somewhat difficult to write because he is a little off his rocker. I think as the action ramps up the chapters will come more easily to me, but I intend to maintain the two week interval until near the end of the story. I do not want to post a new chapter until I have at least two later chapters completed. That's a good buffer in case I discover plot holes and need to fix them. Right now I have chapter four fairly complete and a good start on chapter five with a pretty clear picture of what will happen in chapter six, so I'm going to go ahead and post chapter three.

Related to the schedule of updates- There has been a shake up at my company and I may need to put in some extra time there in the next couple of weeks. This might cause my next few chapters to be delayed. I will post an update on my profile to keep my readers informed.

Thanks for your interest and just to let you know, you didn't sound bitchy at all. At least, not to me.
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Old 09-17-2016, 07:55 AM   #20
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Thumbs up I am in agreement.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RipperFish View Post
I had not thought of that. It's an interesting idea. It would be a way for me to give the jZav'Etch perspective of the CP and show how they interpret or misinterpret Human behavior. Thanks for the suggestion.
I like this story line idea very much and would love to see how you run with it!
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Old 09-26-2016, 08:56 PM   #21
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Well, as I warned my readers I was caught up in the mess at my job and had to go out of town to deal with a particular situation. I tried to leave a post on my profile before I left but got interrupted and had to rush out. I didn't even get a chance to log off. Anyway, I'm back and hopefully won't need to disappear suddenly again. The upshot of the whole mess, at least in so far as it concerns my writing, is that chapter four is not complete, chapter five remains where it was when last I updated, and chapter six is still in the idea stage. So, most likely it will be another five days before I have something like a rough draft of chapter five and another five to ten before chapter six is roughed out. What I am planning to do write a detailed outline of the next three chapters and then post chapter four after an edit. I don't like posting a chapter unless I have the next two or three written, but I don't want to keep my readers waiting any longer than absolutely necessary.

Sorry for the delay,
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Old 09-29-2016, 12:55 PM   #22
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Savage Shore Universe

Ripper,

Maybe I'm a little bit of a hard ass, but if a reader is not interested enough in a story to go back a bit and re-read for what may or may not be obscure info, then they don't really deserve your time. Let's face it, this Universe is your creation and the stories about it do not belong to the reader. Please advance at your own pace and in your own time. Also be comforted in the knowledge that a great deal of time and effort has already gone into the Savage Shore Universe and for that I am most thankful. Since you have made this universe so rich and detailed, anyone could miss a bit of description or skim over a dialog that impacts the story in later chapters. I'm concerned that you are stressing out trying to please everyone at their level of interest, but fear that is a losing proposition.

Just get on with your story, told the way you want it to be told, and be content that there are folks that are more than happy you are granting us the privilege of reading it.

By the way, I love the concept of the intelligence reports.

Keep up the good work.
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Old 09-29-2016, 09:07 PM   #23
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Thank you for your support, dhh37363. I don't think you are really being a hard ass. Perhaps a little blunt, but not a hard ass. I can be blunt also, as you will surely know if you've read my author's notes in UaSS. I took some flak for a couple of those, but I have not removed them. I said what I said and people do not have to agree with me.

Anyway, to your point about getting on with my story: I agree with you. That's actually one reason I chose to create this thread where readers can ask questions. In my stories I can't include laundry lists of details and still have them flow. And I assure you, my concern is not to please everyone. I can't and I know it. My concern is to tell a good story. A story I myself enjoy. I figure if I enjoy the story it will show in my writing and that will make it more enjoyable for the people reading it. My stress is actually being caused by forces unrelated to my writing. I do feel an obligation to those who are reading my stories which is why I am trying to keep people updated on my schedule.

Again, thank you for your support. I do appreciate it.
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Old 10-01-2016, 12:25 AM   #24
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I was wondering if you could clarify a few things for me.

Ka' chasck is a male's right to ask a female to submit to him after a battle

Chaq' Ka' shisk is a marriage proposal but can it be asked by a male, you've shown that it can be arranged or asked by a female but is this also the normal way for a male to get a mate?

Chisq' Kah' is casual sex or am I mistaken in this? The conversation in chapter 6 combined with a few other places has me a bit confused on what this is compared to the marriage proposal.

The other question refers to renaming females. I'm a bit confused on the dynamics of this, is it only related to Ka' chasck or is it done in general?

Looking forward to the rest of Storm World although I may only read it all once it's finished
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Old 10-01-2016, 04:59 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inevitable_ View Post
I was wondering if you could clarify a few things for me.

Ka' chasck is a male's right to ask a female to submit to him after a battle

Chaq' Ka' shisk is a marriage proposal but can it be asked by a male, you've shown that it can be arranged or asked by a female but is this also the normal way for a male to get a mate?

Chisq' Kah' is casual sex or am I mistaken in this? The conversation in chapter 6 combined with a few other places has me a bit confused on what this is compared to the marriage proposal.

The other question refers to renaming females. I'm a bit confused on the dynamics of this, is it only related to Ka' chasck or is it done in general?

Looking forward to the rest of Storm World although I may only read it all once it's finished
Ka' chasck - Essentially you are correct. However, it is more of a demand from a victor of the vanquished. Technically, a female could also make this demand. It would be atypical for a female to do this, though. Female jZav'Etch are geared towards preserving what they have rather than going after as much as they can get.

Chaq' Ka' shisk - Males or females can propose Chaq' Ka' shisk. There is no gender specific tradition on this.

Chisq' Kah' - Chisq' Kah is casual sex with no long term commitment implied. Usually males will show off or otherwise try to impress a female in hopes that she will offer Chisq' Kah, but a male might suggest it to a female if he feels she is interested enough. This is rarely communicated verbally, though. Think of couples hooking up at a party for a night of wantonness.

Name changing - It can be done whenever a female joins a male in what Humans would call marriage. It is less common than it was in the early days of jZav'Etch culture, but they still recognize it as legal and perfectly acceptable and honorable. The tradition comes from the same sort of tradition Humans have about brides taking the groom's last name. The female is joining the male's family and the change of the name signifies this. However, it was never a universal absolute. Not every female joining a male's family would have her name changed. It really depended on a lot of factors including the status of the male in the jZav'Etch social strata. You can also encounter the male who is a jerk getting married to a female who is very submissive and he changes her name just because he can. Such males are usually not respected by their peers, though.
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