Old 06-08-2014, 02:54 AM   #1
pensivepoet
Literotica Guru
 
pensivepoet is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 835
Love On Baker Street

limping round and round
not close to whirl,
the ceiling fan creaked
and clacked like a three legged dog, no longer caring
of it's tail.
"Mmmm....that was wonderful"
she lied, or perhaps, believed.
while on my back, hands
clenched behind my head,
I wondered
did she call me lover
because I was?
or because it was easier
than admitting names?
and from across the street
Wally's Tavern flashed code
upon our tombstone walls,
yellow, and green, and red
while a lone moth, scrambled
to decipher for all.
a wave from an Indonesian earthquake, i felt her stir,
rolling in my direction
and her cheap perfume
flooded my face.
You asleep? She purred
~the only question
you can lie to in silence.
and my mind, writing an epic
said simply, no.
sleep? with that damned clock
playing bass to the crippled fan
igniting a freight train
wild of tracks while Wally's
frantically signals
that a wreck is imminent?
I wished I had lied.
and i wanted to smell my fingers
to see if she was still there
but my head was using them,
and when i told my thigh
to keep its distance
I found it too uncaring
to escape.
In search of a felony, lights
and sirens screamed passed
the window, and the moth
flew to see.
In the shadow of street lights,
I saw her red panties
slung over the chair
and understood why bulls
dare the dagger.
Looking down at the wave
sliding lazily to Hawaii, i spoke
feeling price for the silence.
"you should sleep"
A half hour later, the
seas were calm
the clock and fan were
a marching band
and the sirens returned
still searching for the wreck
I held in cacaphonous quiet.
She wont miss me
in the morning
or hold it against me
next week
for this is the way
of lovers and moths
down on Baker Street
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-08-2014, 11:35 AM   #2
twelveoone
ground zero
 
twelveoone is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 5,737
and from across the street
Wally's Tavern flashed code
upon our tombstone walls,
yellow, and green, and red

wally has a sign in traffic sign colours?
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-08-2014, 12:37 PM   #3
pensivepoet
Literotica Guru
 
pensivepoet is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 835
Quote:
Originally Posted by twelveoone View Post
and from across the street
Wally's Tavern flashed code
upon our tombstone walls,
yellow, and green, and red

wally has a sign in traffic sign colours?

I wouldn't know.
I was taking a shit in a filthy bathroom, in a birmingham gas station.
It was scrawled on the wall. I copied it onto t/p, and brought it here for you to give it a proper burial.
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-08-2014, 01:09 PM   #4
twelveoone
ground zero
 
twelveoone is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 5,737
Quote:
Originally Posted by pensivepoet View Post
I wouldn't know.
I was taking a shit in a filthy bathroom, in a birmingham gas station.
It was scrawled on the wall. I copied it onto t/p, and brought it here for you to give it a proper burial.
must have been alabama, smells like alabama, they have a baker street in alabama?
i bury nothing, not my job
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-08-2014, 01:20 PM   #5
Tsotha
donnyQ
 
Tsotha's Avatar
 
Tsotha is offline
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,460
1) It's pretty awesome that all that was on a bathroom stall.

2) If you wrote that on tp, I imagine someone was left without, later.
__________________
derpity derp herp derp
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-08-2014, 02:12 PM   #6
pensivepoet
Literotica Guru
 
pensivepoet is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 835
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsotha View Post
1) It's pretty awesome that all that was on a bathroom stall.

2) If you wrote that on tp, I imagine someone was left without, later.

What? You think i'm inconsiderate? I edited it to save ass wipe.
It's still longer than Scream's face.
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-08-2014, 03:11 PM   #7
twelveoone
ground zero
 
twelveoone is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 5,737
Quote:
Originally Posted by pensivepoet View Post
What? You think i'm inconsiderate? I edited it to save ass wipe.
It's still longer than Scream's face.
that is a problem writing off the top of your head
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-08-2014, 06:17 PM   #8
HarryHill
butter favored
 
HarryHill's Avatar
 
HarryHill is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: 7 miles from Backwater
Posts: 3,097
Shit, I had to log in two things you must always remember.
carry a roll of tp in your bag for emergencies n I forgot the other
__________________
"True glory consists in doing what deserves to be written; in writing what deserves to be read."- Pliny the Elder
"Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."- The Budda
"I'll never be a poet" - The Harry
"You are not the whim of a careless creator, experimenting in the laboratory of life... you were made with a purpose"."-Og Mandino
well buttered
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-12-2014, 10:11 AM   #9
pensivepoet
Literotica Guru
 
pensivepoet is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 835
But oh, how she played

Just stay there,
she said
don't move
while the maelstrom
pulled me under.
all around me, conflagration
as down the house fell
timber upon ash.
The rattlesnake steeled
poised to spring
while the bear ripped
sinew from bone.
If i had a voice, i
would've cried
just for a hand
i would've reached
but she sat there
with her sitar
cross legged beside me
playing, "don't move baby,
everything gonna be alright"
knowing damn well
It never would be.
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-12-2014, 12:25 PM   #10
Angeline
Poet Chick
 
Angeline's Avatar
 
Angeline is offline
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Dreamland
Posts: 24,224
Quote:
Originally Posted by pensivepoet View Post
Just stay there,
she said
don't move
while the maelstrom
pulled me under.
all around me, conflagration
as down the house fell
timber upon ash.
The rattlesnake steeled
poised to spring
while the bear ripped
sinew from bone.
If i had a voice, i
would've cried
just for a hand
i would've reached
but she sat there
with her sitar
cross legged beside me
playing, "don't move baby,
everything's gonna be alright"
knowing damn well
It never would be.
This is really good writing but I think it loses some punch when read because there are no line breaks and the inconsistent capitalization is distracting. Here's how I might break it up. Just my opinion of course and if you find any of it helpful, then good.

Just stay there,
she said
don't move
while the maelstrom
pulled me under.

All around me, conflagration
as down the house fell
timber upon ash.
The rattlesnake steeled
poised to spring
while the bear ripped
sinew from bone.

If i had a voice, I
would've cried
just for a hand
I would've reached

but she sat there
with her sitar,
cross legged beside me
playing, "don't move baby,
everything gonna be alright"

knowing damn well
It never would be.
__________________
Misterioso

Poems
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-12-2014, 12:54 PM   #11
pensivepoet
Literotica Guru
 
pensivepoet is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 835
Thanks Ange
I just rattle em off on my cheap unsmart phone, and it pretty much decides where the breaks will be.
And i never bother checkin em twice cuz i really don't expect anyone to read em.
I just write em to get em otta my head so i can move on.
Thanks again. Your revision was much better.
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-12-2014, 08:41 PM   #12
pensivepoet
Literotica Guru
 
pensivepoet is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 835
Straight Up

The other night
and certainly, just
by chance
I happened by Les Halles
and saw you through the window.
you were fingering your Vieilles
Vignes as if it were a diamond,
and nibbling golden baguettes
through your structured smile.
I smiled too, at the way
your leg swung neath the table,
the way you curled your hair
behind your ear, and the way
you saw right through him,
knowing he wouldn't notice.
I saw you again yesterday,
down at the grocery.
you were two ahead of me,
hair tucked behind ear
and i smiled
but said nothing.
cheap whiskey and France
are oceans apart.
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-16-2014, 01:00 PM   #13
pensivepoet
Literotica Guru
 
pensivepoet is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 835
In The Fire

Fuck you, cunt
in your dreams, dickwad
what a spoiled bitch
oh right, slurred the drunken bum
I hate you, like Hitler
hated jews
ha! you couldn't light the match
you've stolen my life
you never had a life to steal
oh yeah?
yeah. go ahead, hit me
you first
you aren't worth breaking a nail
tic tic tic...
kiss me harder. drive your tongue
I'm hungry for it
pull my hair. harder. like the way
I twisted your nipples
oh fuck! I love when you do that
to my balls
lick my pussy, bitch
lick it good
I think i'm cumming
me too
fuck me harder. do it now
oh God oh God
Jesus!
tic tic tic
wanna cook out?
if you'll run to the store
you're such a lazy bitch
I must be, if I'm with you
fuck off
no, you fuck off
tic tic tic....
here in Hell's kitchen
the kettle's
always on the boil.
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-16-2014, 07:06 PM   #14
twelveoone
ground zero
 
twelveoone is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 5,737
baby don't move
the maelstrom
baby don't start
a conflagration
just like hitler
loved the jews
Come on baby
pull my hair
Come on baby
gimme some nipple chews

yeh, I can see a nice blue oyster cult thing goin here
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-16-2014, 09:38 PM   #15
pensivepoet
Literotica Guru
 
pensivepoet is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 835
Quote:
Originally Posted by twelveoone View Post
baby don't move
the maelstrom
baby don't start
a conflagration
just like hitler
loved the jews
Come on baby
pull my hair
Come on baby
gimme some nipple chews

yeh, I can see a nice blue oyster cult thing goin here
Damn. I was shooting for Mantovani. Did he ever do fear the reaper?
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-16-2014, 10:04 PM   #16
twelveoone
ground zero
 
twelveoone is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 5,737
Quote:
Originally Posted by pensivepoet View Post
Damn. I was shooting for Mantovani. Did he ever do fear the reaper?
Mantovani was a man with no fear, men with vowels on the end of their names have no fear. Mantovani bored the reaper < notice r, the reaper feared Mantovani's taste (in food, not musuck)
twelveoone < notice vowel, i have no fear, notice implied apostrophe o', implies no taste in food, combined vowel on end and implied apostrophe means I have a good voice.
I sing in the shower, it is not a good idea to take a microphone in with you, just sayin'. Food, maybe. Seafood, it is like they are returning home. Clam shells make good castanets.
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-16-2014, 10:44 PM   #17
pensivepoet
Literotica Guru
 
pensivepoet is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 835
I'm glad you cleared that up, 1201'o. But it's ok, for years i thought BOC was singing~feel the reefer.
And i thought, well, duh!
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-17-2014, 10:29 AM   #18
thedarkestfairy
Really Experienced
 
thedarkestfairy's Avatar
 
thedarkestfairy is offline
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Lookin' Out My Back Door....
Posts: 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by pensivepoet View Post
Fuck you, cunt
in your dreams, dickwad
what a spoiled bitch
oh right, slurred the drunken bum
I hate you, like Hitler
hated jews
ha! you couldn't light the match
you've stolen my life
you never had a life to steal
oh yeah?
yeah. go ahead, hit me
you first
you aren't worth breaking a nail
tic tic tic...
kiss me harder. drive your tongue
I'm hungry for it
pull my hair. harder. like the way
I twisted your nipples
oh fuck! I love when you do that
to my balls
lick my pussy, bitch
lick it good
I think i'm cumming
me too
fuck me harder. do it now
oh God oh God
Jesus!
tic tic tic
wanna cook out?
if you'll run to the store
you're such a lazy bitch
I must be, if I'm with you
fuck off
no, you fuck off
tic tic tic....
here in Hell's kitchen
the kettle's
always on the boil.
Your words are amazing....Perhaps I have found a fellow sapiophile?!
__________________
"She's mad but she's magic~there's no lie in her fire!!" ~~Bukowski
~~Find what you love and let it kill you!!~~ Bukowski
"Assholes are strategically placed so the intelligent folk of this world must occasionally trip over one of them in order to remind us to be grateful for not being one of them....That one was one of the biggest I've encountered thus far!!
If all you want is to be a bitch stay away from me!! Fair warning
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-17-2014, 10:47 AM   #19
twelveoone
ground zero
 
twelveoone is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 5,737
Quote:
Originally Posted by thedarkestfairy View Post
Your words are amazing....Perhaps I have found a fellow sapiophile?!
and from another dimension a sapiophobe probe?
did you notice it, balls and cunt seem to appear on the same bitch?
pensive has raised the time honoured word salad to
phrase salad
w/o the dressing of course
of course i could be totally wrong it is a Schrodinger crit
open the box there might be a prize
there might not
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-17-2014, 11:45 AM   #20
twelveoone
ground zero
 
twelveoone is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 5,737
consider the possibilities
pensivepoet may be ironic
thedarkestfairy may be ironic
I may be ironic
if all of that is true, is (set )three ironies enough to make a hipster or just another marvel superhero?
enuff of this philosiphizin
the waters of poetry are green
and bubbling ???!!!!!
BUT what is really
really troubling!!!!????
is how do I!
get more punctuation in???!!!
should I drop some more
oxymorons in???

er sorry for wrecking your thread pensivepoet, but while you have a cheap unsmart phone, I have a cheap unsmart mind and it pretty much decides what the fuck I do.
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-17-2014, 11:54 AM   #21
thedarkestfairy
Really Experienced
 
thedarkestfairy's Avatar
 
thedarkestfairy is offline
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Lookin' Out My Back Door....
Posts: 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by twelveoone View Post
consider the possibilities
pensivepoet may be ironic
thedarkestfairy may be ironic
I may be ironic
if all of that is true, is (set )three ironies enough to make a hipster or just another marvel superhero?
enuff of this philosiphizin
the waters of poetry are green
and bubbling ???!!!!!
BUT what is really
really troubling!!!!????
is how do I!
get more punctuation in???!!!
should I drop some more
oxymorons in???

er sorry for wrecking your thread pensivepoet, but while you have a cheap unsmart phone, I have a cheap unsmart mind and it pretty much decides what the fuck I do.
I like this lol Humor and sarcasm are the most necessary spices in this life!!
__________________
"She's mad but she's magic~there's no lie in her fire!!" ~~Bukowski
~~Find what you love and let it kill you!!~~ Bukowski
"Assholes are strategically placed so the intelligent folk of this world must occasionally trip over one of them in order to remind us to be grateful for not being one of them....That one was one of the biggest I've encountered thus far!!
If all you want is to be a bitch stay away from me!! Fair warning
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-17-2014, 12:57 PM   #22
pensivepoet
Literotica Guru
 
pensivepoet is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 835
1201, why does my mind keep seeing you walking around your kitchen in dress socks, boxers, and a cowboy hat as you rant to a puzzled cat wanting only more kibbles n bits.
That's a compliment!?
Well, you wanted more punc with your irony.
Thanks DF. I'll look up the word and see if we are. I seem to be everything else.

Last edited by pensivepoet : 06-17-2014 at 01:08 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-17-2014, 01:11 PM   #23
thedarkestfairy
Really Experienced
 
thedarkestfairy's Avatar
 
thedarkestfairy is offline
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Lookin' Out My Back Door....
Posts: 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by pensivepoet View Post
1201, why does my mind keep seeing you walking around your kitchen in dress socks, boxers, and a cowboy hat as you rant to a puzzled cat wanting only more kibbles n bits.
That's a compliment!?
Well, you wanted more punc with your irony.
Thanks DF. I'll look up the word and see if we are. I seem to be everything else.
Ha!! Maybe I'll share some of my stuff with you....Maybe You could offer some constructive criticism....You are seriously amazing with Your words....Just saying
__________________
"She's mad but she's magic~there's no lie in her fire!!" ~~Bukowski
~~Find what you love and let it kill you!!~~ Bukowski
"Assholes are strategically placed so the intelligent folk of this world must occasionally trip over one of them in order to remind us to be grateful for not being one of them....That one was one of the biggest I've encountered thus far!!
If all you want is to be a bitch stay away from me!! Fair warning
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-17-2014, 02:23 PM   #24
pensivepoet
Literotica Guru
 
pensivepoet is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 835
Quote:
Originally Posted by thedarkestfairy View Post
Ha!! Maybe I'll share some of my stuff with you....Maybe You could offer some constructive criticism....You are seriously amazing with Your words....Just saying
I'd love to read your stuff, DF. Feel free to post here if you like.
Just remember, this is baker street~not primrose lane.
No roses grow here.
Old newspapers blow down the street like tumbleweeds. The streetlamps are shot out, windows boarded and barred.
And that shitty music from the old juke box wafts out of Wally's open door. Pretty rough.
As for constructive criticism, that job is taken, and i'm grossly under qualified.
Which reminds me, i erronoously made a reference to 1201 a comment ago. My bad~
I was confusing him with hunter thompson. Sorry dude.
  Reply With Quote

Old 06-18-2014, 09:11 AM   #25
twelveoone
ground zero
 
twelveoone is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 5,737
Quote:
Originally Posted by pensivepoet View Post
1201, why does my mind keep seeing you walking around your kitchen in dress socks, boxers, and a cowboy hat as you rant to a puzzled cat wanting only more kibbles n bits.
That's a compliment!?
Well, you wanted more punc with your irony.
Thanks DF. I'll look up the word and see if we are. I seem to be everything else.
nobody, but nobody wears a cowboy hat with boxers, just isn't done. it is unamerican.
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:26 PM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.