Old 11-30-2012, 07:07 PM   #249401
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Dynamite.
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:09 PM   #249402
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Originally Posted by islandman View Post
Laser.
Where's those lips?
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:09 PM   #249403
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Originally Posted by Tasty_Teaze View Post
I bought some Moonshine for the holidays. Anyone ever try it?

Oh, hell. Back in "Kolledge Days," the old frat boys used to host an annual grain alcohol party. Since the stuff was illegal in the state, a road trip across the border was required ( where it was legally obtainable ).

In order not to kill the unsuspecting, the untutored, the naive or other innocent bystanders, the brewmeisters diluted the stuff ( somewhat ) with fruit drinks and god-only-knows-what else. Three 50-gallon rubber garbage cans were employed as containers and the resulting noxious ( and lethal ) concoction was ladled out to all comers.

A story ( possibly apocryphal ) circulated for years: one fair young lady was asked if she was enjoying her punch. She smacked her lips, said "it's delicious," and promptly collapsed unconscious on the floor in an advanced state of alcoholic oblivion ( I hasten to add that— behaving as honorable gentlemen— no untoward advantage was taken of the lady's disability ).

For sentiment's sake, I saved one of those infamous bottles and have lugged it around through all the travels of my years. Empty and thirty-six years later, its potency remains; a lighted match dropped into the bottle will STILL ignite the residual vapors. The bottle sits beside me as I write; it reads:


Graves
Extra XXX Fine
Grain Alcohol
U.S.P. 190° Proof
This 190° proof Alcohol is especially suitable for medicinal and scientific use, and is of the same high quality as has been applied by us to Physicians, Hospitals and Pharmacists in bottles since 1860.
DISTILLED FROM GRAIN
Bottled by
C.H. Graves Distilling Co., Cambridge, Mass.


 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:12 PM   #249404
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I told them to take my television. I never get to watch it with the little bastards here all the time anyway.

Ugh. They're not even listening.
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:13 PM   #249405
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It's Saturday! No school. Let's watch cartoons! circa 1969 This old wench was in High School. 2012, and my things have changed....
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:17 PM   #249406
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Where's those lips?
MIA.

I can't seem to find that AV anywhere.


 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:17 PM   #249407
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There's a white guy on the NFL Network named Randy Moss.
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:19 PM   #249408
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Bet he never gets a credit card.
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:20 PM   #249409
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Pardon?
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:21 PM   #249410
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No, not cartoons. Nope, nope, nope.

Cricket.
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:22 PM   #249411
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How to build a bookshelf.
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They ventriloquise the fear of millions into a scream of fire in the crowded theatre of modernity where all the doors are locked, and then they watch the stampede, and they smile for the cameras.

Laurie Penny, Medium
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:24 PM   #249412
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The other Randy Moss forgets to pay his credit cards a lot. Nevermind, football snark. Continue on.

I'm hungry. I should probably do something about that.
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:26 PM   #249413
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Understood.

I bet if that guy can build a bookshelf with his penis, you can change the oil in your car with your boob.
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:28 PM   #249414
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Umm. No.



How many people do we piss off by having conversations in this thread? I hope it's a lot. Cunts.
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:28 PM   #249415
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Understood.

I bet if that guy can build a bookshelf with his penis, you can change the oil in your car with your boob.
It was the circular saw that made me cringe.
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They ventriloquise the fear of millions into a scream of fire in the crowded theatre of modernity where all the doors are locked, and then they watch the stampede, and they smile for the cameras.

Laurie Penny, Medium
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:28 PM   #249416
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That guy has way too much time on his hands.
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:32 PM   #249417
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Quote:
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It was the circular saw that made me cringe.
Me too, but then I decided that there's no way he would have put his penis that close to the blade.

I assumed a stunt-penis was used.
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:33 PM   #249418
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Cunts, cunts, everywhere.
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:33 PM   #249419
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gotsnowgotslush View Post
It's Saturday! No school. Let's watch cartoons! circa 1969 This old wench was in High School. 2012, and my things have changed....
Not here.

It's almost 5pm Friday.

The GB can get fun, now.

SeanH is eight hours ahead, and ought to be passing out at any moment.

The rest of us will be drinking and carrying on and pissing all over his unconscious body. Even the girls.

Then we will draw him new eyebrows and a goatee, and make sport of him.
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In the High School halls
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Conform or be cast out

In the basement bars
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Be cool or be cast out
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:34 PM   #249420
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Here a cunt.
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:35 PM   #249421
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E.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:36 PM   #249422
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How now, Malvolio?
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I am but mad north-north-west:
When the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.




In the High School halls
In the shopping malls
Conform or be cast out

In the basement bars
In the backs of cars
Be cool or be cast out
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:36 PM   #249423
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LAUREL!! I just want to be able to capitalize things in a row without using a stupid emoticon. Please give me that ability or I'm going to start putting STUPID embarrassed faces where they don't belong.
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:37 PM   #249424
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WingedKiss View Post
E.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.
In yellow stockings.
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I am but mad north-north-west:
When the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.




In the High School halls
In the shopping malls
Conform or be cast out

In the basement bars
In the backs of cars
Be cool or be cast out
 

Old 11-30-2012, 07:37 PM   #249425
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There a cunt.
 
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