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Old 01-28-2018, 02:07 PM   #1
ThomasPain
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The personal and the political

I had no idea how kinky my fantasies were until I started writing them down. I mean I knew i was a little kinky, but only as I started writing out a narrative or two did I realize how quickly I went into some pretty taboo, dark areas involving non-consensual sex, use of force as well as inappropriate age match ups. Not little kids, but the late teenager discovering sex with someone a little older. In real life, I am quite clear that these fantasies describe assaults that could traumatize someone. I have no interest in actually causing harm or molesting a teenager, but when I start writing this dark stuff seems to come out. Politically I want to undo structural inequalities that victimize women, while in my stories ... well, ... victimization occurs. I have been afraid to share much of this stuff, with well, anyone. I don't know if these fantasies are just an internalization of oppressive gender dynamics or something deeper. But once I start writing a story, I get obsessed and can't stop until i have lost sleep and had to change many pair of underwear. Should I share these stories or should I throw them on the trash heap as counterrevolutionary anathema? Its not as if there is a shortage of stories about people being overpowered and coerced and finding it a turn on. Am I going to add to the problem and cause harm by writing down these fantasies? I know ... I am asking this in a BDSM writers forum, and will probably get a slew of YKIOK responses ... but I don't really know who to talk to about this to get some clarity and I don't want to fuck up my personal or professional life with any of this.
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Old 01-28-2018, 02:19 PM   #2
Nezhul
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Well. Fantasies are fantasies. I have a lot of those that turn me on, but many of them I wouldn't ever want to come to fruition.
I'm currently writing heavy body modification non-con. As in, amputations and surgeries to make someone into a living sex-toy. This turns me on in my fantasy world, but would I ever want to see something like that in real life? No. In fact, I imagine I would be extremely turned off and sick in the stomach if any non-con stuff happened near me. I just don't find it sexual.

What I'm getting at, I think it's normal to fantasize about stuff. That's why we like Horror Movies - because they tickle our nerves, not because we actually want to take place of any of the characters.
Non-con genre is like Horror Erotica, and in fact many websites have a section for those kinds of stories and e-books.

That said, stuff like this tends to get many people triggered. You need to include very clear disclaimers that you do not endorse or condone such behaviors and that the story is written for the sake of fantasy and entertainment.

It will get people triggered.

Also, Non-con is not BDSM, and I think many people will frown upon this discussion in this thread. BDSM can only be consensual - if it isn't, then your story can include tags like Bondage, Submission, Sadism/Masochism. But if you include BDSM tag - you WILL get some people triggered big time.

Have fun!
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Old 01-28-2018, 02:25 PM   #3
Nezhul
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Oh yea, almost forgot.
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Should I share these stories or should I throw them on the trash heap as counterrevolutionary anathema?
Should definitely share. I would even suggest publishing them on Smashwords, if they are long enough.

On literotica... Well, first of all you mentioned late-teen, and this is like the biggest red flag here. Your stories may be removed, in fact even these posts may be removed just for mentioning this. You can try BDSMLibrary - things like that tolerated better there, also non-con and violence is more accepted too.

Quote:
I have been afraid to share much of this stuff, with well, anyone. I don't know if these fantasies are just an internalization of oppressive gender dynamics or something deeper.
Don't worry, your head is totally fine.
It's just that in literature and fantasy we tend to crank up everything to the extreme. That's why fairytale love stories are popular. That's why super-violent maniac movies are popular.
People tend to like extremes in media much more than realism. If it's gonna be an explosion, make it a big one - that kind of mentality.
In your case, you are just extrapolationg fantasies of dominance, submission and helplessness into extreme - which is non-con.
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Old 01-28-2018, 03:03 PM   #4
ThomasPain
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Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply and your insights. Interestingly enough, I think I would be terrified of some of the themes you mentioned.
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Old 01-28-2018, 05:01 PM   #5
cookiecat
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What Nezul said!!

Dark stuff is good to get out of your head by writing it down. Why do you think you'd cause harm?

Are you that obsessed it's affecting your day to day life? If not, you're probably ok.

I'll second Nezul's sentiment - just enjoy!
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Old 01-28-2018, 06:47 PM   #6
Farawyn
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As long as the ďwomenĒ are over 18 in your stories, itís all good.

As for your thoughts, as long as you arenít acting on them I would say they are fine.

Iím an RN. I worked in an OBGYN clinic for years, sending patients as young as 11 for rape kits. Iím a staunch feminist. I raised my boys to be loving and respectful young men. I know that rape is not a crime of sex, but a crime of violence and control. As we all do.

That being said, I almost exclusively read NonCon, and some of the hottest parts of my sexuality Iíve explored are related to force and/or rape play.
The control part of NonCon may loosely relate to BDSM, but like Nezhul said, BDSM is all about consent, trust and communication.

It feels icky in your head, yes? Which makes it hotter.

I would tweak your stories so everyone is over 18 and have fun.
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