Old 01-23-2015, 07:36 PM   #1
annikasfury
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Two for flinching

Does anybody else have a hard time holding still during a flogging or whipping if you're not tied down? Being told to hold still is so much worse for me than being tied up, which I guess is the point. I get aroused, dripping wet I swear, but I cringe like a sissy when he swings his weapon of choice, and he doesn't like it. Is it just me? Just curious.
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Old 01-23-2015, 07:42 PM   #2
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No. That's more of a submissive thing.
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Old 01-23-2015, 07:50 PM   #3
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My experience is different, we don't do flogging and whipping. I think that naturally you're going to flinch if you know it's about to happen (it's a human thing). I have, however, experienced times when it was necessary to stay still. It's difficult to do so and there are reflexes that are just going to happen. Perhaps you should talk with him about this. Maybe you can both work together to build up your tolerance? I don't really know how that works. Maybe someone with more experience will come along. ^_^;
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Old 01-24-2015, 11:18 AM   #4
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My experience is different, we don't do flogging and whipping. I think that naturally you're going to flinch if you know it's about to happen (it's a human thing). I have, however, experienced times when it was necessary to stay still. It's difficult to do so and there are reflexes that are just going to happen. Perhaps you should talk with him about this. Maybe you can both work together to build up your tolerance? I don't really know how that works. Maybe someone with more experience will come along. ^_^;
I'm going to try and compromise and have him only work my breasts and clit when I've got a blindfold for awhile, if my hands are free so I can't see it coming He's pretty receptive, I think he'll allow it. And yes, we need to build my tolerance back up, I used to be able to take a lot more, but we've been sort of taking a break because we had a baby last year and she just recently started sleeping through the night. Thanks
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Old 01-24-2015, 11:32 AM   #5
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Perhaps it would help if you have something to hold onto, like the headboard, a sturdy pieceof furniture or something like that?
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Old 01-24-2015, 06:17 PM   #6
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Stress and pain release endorphins into the body. They're a natural pain killer. If your Dom knows what he's doing, he'll work in slowly. I'd say the issue you're running into is that it's too much too soon. Ask him if he could slow down for you a bit. By taking time, the submissive's or bottom's, endorphin levels build which allows more intensity. Now, if you're a masochist and your top is a Sadist, then you wouldn't be asking this question.
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Old 01-24-2015, 06:23 PM   #7
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I suggest calling the cops on him, then going out and finding an actual dom not a sadist.

I wonder if he'll flinch when they beat his sissy ass in prison?
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Old 01-24-2015, 08:12 PM   #8
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I suggest calling the cops on him, then going out and finding an actual dom not a sadist.

I wonder if he'll flinch when they beat his sissy ass in prison?
Not cool, dude.

AF up there clearly has someone she trusts, just has issues sitting still for.
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Old 01-24-2015, 08:53 PM   #9
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Old 01-24-2015, 11:33 PM   #10
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Now, if you're a masochist and your top is a Sadist, then you wouldn't be asking this question.
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Not necessarily. Masochists have reflexes too.

I do agree, though, that it's a lot easier to hold still if the top doesn't push too hard too soon.

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Old 01-25-2015, 03:06 AM   #11
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Not necessarily. Masochists have reflexes too.

I do agree, though, that it's a lot easier to hold still if the top doesn't push too hard too soon.
Yup, this.
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Old 01-25-2015, 03:11 AM   #12
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I suggest calling the cops on him, then going out and finding an actual dom not a sadist.

I wonder if he'll flinch when they beat his sissy ass in prison?
False dichotomy.
Also, flinching doesn't mean you dislike sadists.
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Old 01-25-2015, 05:48 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by annikasfury View Post
Does anybody else have a hard time holding still during a flogging or whipping if you're not tied down? Being told to hold still is so much worse for me than being tied up, which I guess is the point. I get aroused, dripping wet I swear, but I cringe like a sissy when he swings his weapon of choice, and he doesn't like it. Is it just me? Just curious.
It depends on my mindset. I'm far less likely to flinch if I'm calm, relaxed, and accepting of what's happening to me.
If, however, I have things on my mind which is interfering with that acceptance, then yes, I'll occasionally flinch. Also, as has been mentioned, if it's straight in with the serious impact then yes, I'll flinch too.
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Old 01-26-2015, 01:37 PM   #14
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Stress and pain release endorphins into the body. They're a natural pain killer. If your Dom knows what he's doing, he'll work in slowly. I'd say the issue you're running into is that it's too much too soon. Ask him if he could slow down for you a bit. By taking time, the submissive's or bottom's, endorphin levels build which allows more intensity. Now, if you're a masochist and your top is a Sadist, then you wouldn't be asking this question.

I respectfully disagree. I'm a gleeful masochist but I still flinch or wince or jump at times. The absolute worst thing I can possibly hear from Master is "don't move." I want to scream NOOOOOOO (sometimes do), and get that sexy evil chuckle. Thankfully he generally enjoys my wiggles, but there are times when he's just plain mean. LOL
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Old 01-26-2015, 11:23 PM   #15
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I respectfully disagree. I'm a gleeful masochist but I still flinch or wince or jump at times. The absolute worst thing I can possibly hear from Master is "don't move." I want to scream NOOOOOOO (sometimes do), and get that sexy evil chuckle. Thankfully he generally enjoys my wiggles, but there are times when he's just plain mean. LOL
I'm going to piggyback on what DS said as it closely reflects my experiences. Sir will, on occasion, tell me to not flinch or overreact, especially when abusing my pussy. I have the resolve not to flinch in anticipation and while I struggle not to "overreact" to a strike, I find that when I do remain still and in place, I am both proud of myself and the pain is that much more enjoyable. All things being equal, it's hard to say if I like being whipped while free or restrained more. But he does go much harder when I am restrained, so that would be my preference. Does that make sense?

Having said that in your case OP, if he will allow it, a blindfold may really help.
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Old 01-27-2015, 12:22 AM   #16
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I keep trying to write a longer reply, but literotica keeps going down, and I keep losing the posts. I have to get up early, so I'm going to deal with it later. Thanks so much for sharing all of your opinions and experiences. You've given me plenty to think about, and I plan on sharing back a little tomorrow.
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Old 01-29-2015, 08:19 PM   #17
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Yes, it does help to hold onto something solid. I have the hardest time when I have to stand in the middle of the room. And I should clarify, that it's not the flinching itself that gets me in trouble, it's just when I won't stay put. If I'm standing, I inevitably end up taking a step or two back.



Warming up a little more gradually is something we should work on together. Honestly it hadn't occurred to me, because I really like to get lost in the pain, but it's something to consider because my partner has a much higher pain threshold than I do. He can take staggering (to me at least) amounts of pain and it arouses him so much I barely have to touch him before I can make him come. Sometimes it surprises him when I yelp, when he didn't really mean for something to hurt. But I'm still having a good time when it hurts, and he's very careful with me. We've only had to use the safeword for pain maybe half a dozen times in four years. It's usually when we try something new, like fisting.



Also, I'm a twitchy person, loud noises make me flinch too, and sometimes sudden movements from people around me.



And my tolerance has been declining over the years. When I first figured out that I wanted this kind of sex, I had some wires crossed and my motivations were twisted. When I was a teenager I used to do crazy shit like brand myself with red hot coat hangers, because that's what I needed at the time, and when I started having sex, it was about feeling as much like shit as possible and getting hurt as much as possible, and hey, if somebody's doing it too you, it absolves you of some of the responsibility, or at least you can rationalize it that way. Anyway, the better I feel in general, and the more I get my life together, the less pain I crave. That's just me though!!! I don't think that everybody, or even anybody that likes to be punished in bed is working through tragic childhood clichés. I'm more into force and humiliation now, but I still enjoy whipping, flogging, spanking, fingernails and clothespins. All of those things get me wet and intensify my orgasms appreciably. Now when I have sex, when it's over, I feel both peaceful and cherished by my partner.



My tolerance changes when my needs change, but I still dig that endorphin buzz, I don't think I'll ever cut pain out of the bedroom entirely. I was just curious if everybody flinches, even if they like pain, or if it was just me because I'm so jumpy in general. Thanks for the responses, I really enjoy different perspectives.
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Old 03-06-2015, 12:06 AM   #18
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Try working on meeting it half way. Lean in to the object. He might like it because it will look like your wanting it more. It should over ride your brain and make you feel like your doing it yourself and be able to take more that way.
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Old 03-06-2015, 12:37 PM   #19
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You mentioned having a baby and one thing that can be affecting your pain threshold are hormones. I had a lot of hormonal shifts after each child and now that I am getting older my body's cycles are all over the map. There are certain days I am shocked my pain threshold is so low but I just communicate with Master and he spends more time warming me up.
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Old 03-09-2015, 11:13 PM   #20
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That's an idea I never considered, Chachi, thanks. And I'll try your suggestion Jtn.
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Old 03-10-2015, 08:51 AM   #21
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Everybody is different, I guess. I don't see a thing wrong with flinching, in fact I enjoy seeing it. It tells me I've hit the mark I was aiming for, causing the resulting pain.

I might say something like "if you don't stop flinching, I'll hit harder" or something like that, knowing it's impossible to stop flinching. It's a psychological thing, a mind fuck if you will, to tell someone to stop flinching when they can't.

Sure, you can use a warm up technique that allows them to produce the endorphins in their brain, and that can ease the reflex to flinch, but again, I enjoy seeing her squirm and flinch. It's part of the fun.
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