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Old 07-10-2014, 03:53 AM   #1
stickygirl
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polite refusal

HDI politely refuse the offer of food on a camping trip from someone's mother whose cooking skills are awful? (Sorry this has nothing to do with sex but who knows I could get laid)
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Old 07-10-2014, 03:56 AM   #2
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Pretend you had a snack earlier and it upset your stomach, or that you drank some stream water and it did. Then promise that you will eat later-just don't say it will not be her food.
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Old 07-10-2014, 04:01 AM   #3
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Just say thank you but you've already pre-made or planned all the meals.
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Old 07-10-2014, 04:29 AM   #4
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Thanks both. What really worries me is that the proposal is that the food will be kept in a tent for 36hrs before being reheated… I think I might just say we have no way of storing it cool and it would be a 'shame if it went to waste'. After 36hrs, it's going to be walking away anyway!!
( PS we don't have bears in the UK so that's ok )
I just feel a bit put-upon and would prefer to make independent arrangements
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Old 07-10-2014, 04:37 AM   #5
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Eeew yes, that's not good.
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Old 07-10-2014, 04:39 AM   #6
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I always try to avoid lies if possible. Because I honestly dont like them and because the truth is easier to remember and prove.
I would just say "I dont eat that/dont like that" without much explanation. If they pushed it then I would probably go for upset stomach or a special diet. What wouldnt be so much of a lie since I am always on some special diet or another.
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Old 07-10-2014, 04:59 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stickygirl View Post
Thanks both. What really worries me is that the proposal is that the food will be kept in a tent for 36hrs before being reheated… I think I might just say we have no way of storing it cool and it would be a 'shame if it went to waste'. After 36hrs, it's going to be walking away anyway!!
( PS we don't have bears in the UK so that's ok )
I just feel a bit put-upon and would prefer to make independent arrangements
Uggh, that is gross, I couldn't eat that. I would find something to eat that actually made me sick, then go home, Lol.
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Old 07-10-2014, 05:00 AM   #8
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"Sorry, I am a vegan" - though StrayKat is right, don't lie "No fucking way am I going to eat your poisonous offerings. Blah YUK!!!" I think that will work.
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Old 07-10-2014, 06:38 AM   #9
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I have zero friends because I refuse to lie. A simple NO works for me.
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Old 07-10-2014, 06:39 AM   #10
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Quote:
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"Sorry, I am a vegan" - though StrayKat is right, don't lie "No fucking way am I going to eat your poisonous offerings. Blah YUK!!!" I think that will work.
Being eat up with carcinogenic flora isn't VEGAN.
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Old 07-10-2014, 07:11 AM   #11
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I find myself in this position frequently. Well, minus the camping, but definitely in the realm of not wanting to eat whatever this other person has made. I am quite particular in regards to my food, which people usually notice if they pay attention. I used to work hard to spare the preparer's feelings, give a valid reason, not quite a lie, you know. I've learned to just say, "No thanks." It works well. If pressed I may follow with a self-deprecating, "We'll, I just have a lot of quirks with food." But, I'm rarely pushed after simply saying no.
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Old 07-10-2014, 07:36 AM   #12
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I have zero friends because I refuse to lie. A simple NO works for me.
You have zero friends for so many more reasons than that, James.
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Old 07-10-2014, 07:39 AM   #13
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Like JtohisPB said, I find I usually have no problem by just saying, "No, thanks." If pressed, I just say, "Thank you, but I'm not hungry." Which isn't a lie, because the food being offered usually kills my appetite.
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Old 07-10-2014, 08:19 AM   #14
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I did a course in food safety a while ago, which means I know a dangerously small amount, but when I'm offered food I suspect might not be safe by national standards, I still find it difficult to say "Fuck no way - do you realise how frickin dangerous cold rice can be?".
Maybe I'll follow advice here and instead of saying "Actually, I looked in your fridge and happened to notice you have meat stored above fresh produce so, if it's all the same to you, I'll go hungry" I'll just say "No thanks"
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Old 07-10-2014, 08:40 AM   #15
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You have zero friends for so many more reasons than that, James.
I comply with all EEOC rules.
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Old 07-10-2014, 08:42 AM   #16
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I wont eat your food cuz I don't know where your fingers were before you handled the food. But no usually works.
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Old 07-10-2014, 08:43 AM   #17
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HDI politely refuse the offer of food on a camping trip from someone's mother whose cooking skills are awful? (Sorry this has nothing to do with sex but who knows I could get laid)
Tell her you're fasting for religious reasons. Even the Supreme Court buys that excuse.
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Old 07-10-2014, 09:30 AM   #18
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HDI politely refuse the offer of food on a camping trip from someone's mother whose cooking skills are awful? (Sorry this has nothing to do with sex but who knows I could get laid)
It sounds like you haven't pitched your tent yet. Why not offer to look after the meal component of the trip, or at least the meals you are concerned about. You can point out that you've taken a food safety course, make a bad ass trail mix, and would just like to treat. You don't have to say anything about the other's cooking at all.

This would ensure you are not consuming bacteria burgers, won't have you foraging for berries while everyone is complaining about upset tummies, and may improve the odds (in your favour) of you getting laid.
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Old 07-10-2014, 09:41 AM   #19
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Thanks Emerson, for considering the getting laid thing. I'm surprised that no one had mentioned eating raw meat yet, but it's early still
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Old 07-10-2014, 10:38 AM   #20
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Thanks Emerson, for considering the getting laid thing. I'm surprised that no one had mentioned eating raw meat yet, but it's early still
Well, you did say you don't have bears in the UK . . .

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HDI politely refuse the offer of food on a camping trip from someone's mother whose cooking skills are awful? (Sorry this has nothing to do with sex but who knows I could get laid)
You own nothing to nobody. A simple, "no thanks, I'm good." will suffice. If they ask again, just repeat yourself, "no thanks, I'm good." Few people will force you to eat when you don't want too, much less press for an explanation. FWIW, I use this phrase all the time with people whom don't have the same level of cleanliness as I do when it comes to preparing and caring for food.
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Old 07-10-2014, 10:38 AM   #21
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Premise: Presumably, you are talking about food being offered for a lengthy time together and not just a one-time meal, therefore you have to set a precedent that establishes that this will be a recurring issue.

How I would politely refuse, is the way I normally handle the situation (because this is an issue for me). I quietly mention
"I have certain peculiar (pause) sensitivities to the way food is prepared. While I am sure the food can be made properly by yourself, the length of the list of how it is preparation is rather lengthy and full of subtleties that it might be easier if I was to prepare it myself."
It could go in either of two ways from that, they might agree or they might graciously refuse, insisting that they can prepare it for you, provided you let them know the particulars.

At which point I would simply say "I'm so intrinsic used to them, it's hard to spell out the whole list and if one subtlety is missed..." you might want to vary this, but I would try to suggest an implied gross factor being politely omitted with an embarrassed, pained expression "...you would not want to come withing fifty feet of me a couple hours after I've eaten."

Most rational people will understand that pressing for more information will result in something highly vile and descriptively gross being offered to explain 'why,' and that it might be better to accept the refusal of their preparing your food.

Your motivation: If you don't sell it well enough, you WILL have to eat her prepared food.

You might want to say this was something that a doctor had ordered you to do to avoid an unnecessary and messy situation.
This isn't an outright lie. Doctors have long supported that proper food preparation is essential to avoid dire and sometimes life threatening food borne illness.

Avoid mentioning this as being recent. If you HAVE had food prepared by her recently, you could say you were trying to be painfully polite by accepting her food. That you don't mind the consequences when you have to deal with the aftermath yourself, but you would be put off that anybody else would have to suffer with it by being near you.

I added this last in case they are also belligerently gracious. Key words are "aftermath" and "suffer."

It's key that you don't let her watch you preparing your food. She will see through your lie. If she noses around while you are preparing the food, just tell her "it makes me nervous when someone watches, and if I forget something important because of that nervousness..."
Most people get the hint at that point.
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Old 07-10-2014, 10:40 AM   #22
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I have zero friends because I refuse to lie. A simple NO works for me.
you have zero friends because you're a cunt.

...you cunt.
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Old 07-10-2014, 10:48 AM   #23
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you have zero friends because you're a cunt.

...you cunt.
Now you have gone and made the old dear smile - see what you have done?
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Old 07-10-2014, 10:56 AM   #24
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You own nothing to nobody. A simple, "no thanks, I'm good." will suffice. If they ask again, just repeat yourself, "no thanks, I'm good." Few people will force you to eat when you don't want too, much less press for an explanation. FWIW, I use this phrase all the time with people whom don't have the same level of cleanliness as I do when it comes to preparing and caring for food.







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Old 07-10-2014, 11:10 AM   #25
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You might also temper this, if she says she is going to prepare breakfast (which on a camping trip might mean something like cold cereal).

If she asks you if you need to prepare breakfast, counter her question with a question like "what is breakfast going to be?"

If she answers with cold cereal, then you could say "That isn't something you need to worry about, and you'd be happy to have what she serves." This makes the polite refusal for her cooking as not being wholly unreasonable and not personal against her.
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