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Old 07-07-2014, 08:19 PM   #1
PaulScottBarbarasSon
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Having sex with Julie Andrews

It is fair enough that this may be considered old school . But ever since I saw Julie Andrews expose her boobs in the otherwise forgettable movie S.O.B. (1981), it has occurred to me that our former Mary Poppins and Maria Von Trapp is eminently fuckable. But I haven't found a celebrity story yet about fucking her! Won't someone rise to the occasion and describe what Julie might be like in the sack? All that sweet innocence turned to nympho lust!
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Old 07-07-2014, 08:26 PM   #2
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The prim and proper Ms. Andrews would be blushing from head to toe if she knew the impure thoughts you are having!
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Old 07-07-2014, 10:37 PM   #3
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Fucking Julie

If the 1960s-1980s Julie Andrews would hop a time machine to come and let me fuck her senseless, I'd be good with her blushing. Prim and proper is hot and sexy !
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Old 07-08-2014, 12:23 AM   #4
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Ah, good, the PR on Julie Andrews worked. She wasn't, in fact, a shrinking violet in RL.
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Old 07-08-2014, 11:42 AM   #5
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Bull whips and handcuffs and wide open snatches
Ball gags and butt plugs and shaved pubic patches
Big throbbing penises wearing cock rings
These are a few of my favorite things.
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Old 07-08-2014, 03:21 PM   #6
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Took me mum to see S.O.B. (which had some very funny lines mixed in with the non-brilliance -- I mean, hey, it's basically a PINK PANTHER film without Peter Sellers). She said, "Mine are better," and flashed the theater to prove it. She got applause.
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Old 07-08-2014, 07:48 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carnevil9 View Post
Bull whips and handcuffs and wide open snatches
Ball gags and butt plugs and shaved pubic patches
Big throbbing penises wearing cock rings
These are a few of my favorite things.
I enjoyed this. Did you write it?
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Old 07-10-2014, 12:34 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Totzman View Post
I enjoyed this. Did you write it?
Yes, parodies are a specialty. Glad you liked it!
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Old 07-11-2014, 12:02 PM   #9
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I generally try not to be negative here, but I feel compelled to tell my feelings about Julie Andrews...

The first movie I ever saw in a theater was The Sound of Music. Andrews' singing literally hurt my ears, and I hated the movie.

The second movie I ever saw in a a theater was Mary Poppins. Hated it too.

Just a few years later I realized that I just don't like Musicals, but my bad impressions of Julie Andrews from those first two movies seem to have stayed with me for many years. To my point, even though it wasn't a musical, I disliked the character played by Julie Andrews in the 2001 movie Princess Diaries .

It's funny how long first impressions can stick.
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Old 07-11-2014, 12:42 PM   #10
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......Just a few years later I realized that I just don't like Musicals......
Well at least we know you're not gay.



(not that there's anything wrong with that)
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Femme Fatale - Super Secret Agent meets a deadly Russian vixen bent on his sexual destruction!
Hand Job Slut 1: The Awakening - The saga begins!! And Ends!! All eleven thrilling episodes are now on-line.
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Old 07-11-2014, 03:58 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FantasyXY View Post
I generally try not to be negative here, but I feel compelled to tell my feelings about Julie Andrews...

The first movie I ever saw in a theater was The Sound of Music. Andrews' singing literally hurt my ears, and I hated the movie.

The second movie I ever saw in a a theater was Mary Poppins. Hated it too.

Just a few years later I realized that I just don't like Musicals, but my bad impressions of Julie Andrews from those first two movies seem to have stayed with me for many years. To my point, even though it wasn't a musical, I disliked the character played by Julie Andrews in the 2001 movie Princess Diaries .

It's funny how long first impressions can stick.
I relate to not liking musicals and the sound of music. The singing was very operatic in that. :yawn:

Contrarily, I liked Mary Poppins (not the singing as much, but the story and the acting, yes). Julie was a cutie when she was young. Now if you ask about Carol Burnett, young or old, I'd pass. She has a better personality than Julie Andrews who lacks almost any personality, but there it is.
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Old 07-11-2014, 09:48 PM   #12
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Mary Poppins Parody Sequel

Fast forward about 12 years (because I figure the kids were say 6 and 7) and all is not well in the Banks household. Jane (19) and Michael (18) have forgotten the magical nanny of their childhood who filled them with joie de vivre - in fact they have convinced themselves that they made it all up - and are now listless layabouts.

There is also no harmony in the Banks master bedroom either. Mr Banks is spending increasingly long hours at the bank, and Mrs Banks life is dull and sexless, so she turns to erotica to add some colour. Getting into the swing of it, she writes her own fantasy (longhand on writing paper) in the form of a Help Wanted ad parodying the original, describing the type of lover she wants to hire to satisfy her and in an act of desperation she leaves it under a vase on the table for Mr Banks.

Mr Banks comes home, reads the letter, says something like PoppyCock and scalds Mrs Banks, tears up her letter and hurls it into the fire, where of course it blows up the chimney and over the park.

Soon Mary arrives (under what pretense I'm not sure) - she hasn't aged a day - and relives the interview scene with Mr Banks where she produces the taped-up letter and and mentally dominates him and then moves in and wields her magical wiles on first Mrs Banks and then Jane and Michael. Bert may even have a cameo performance.

I see lots of fantasy/magic fucking, such as weightless/flying over Victorian London, under the sea, Mary + Bert + Jane + Michael going to a swingers or nudist carnival (with a magical merry-go-round of course) and their clothing magically changes to suit. Use your imagination.

Belinda
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Old 07-17-2014, 12:32 AM   #13
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I have fapped to the ending of SOB.
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Old 07-17-2014, 02:58 PM   #14
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Thought up a few more verses! Hit it, Julie!!


Slow cunnilingus and all-night cock sucking
Felching and flogging and fisting and fucking
Rough anal pounding until my ass stings
These are a few of my favorite things.

Riding some gigantic cock like a jockey
Flat on my back for some ten-man bukkake
Cum dripping off me in long, gooey strings
These are a few of my favorite things.
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Think you’ve conquered your gag reflex? Read my latest drivel!

Newest Story! - The Mermaid - How DO you fuck a creature without a pussy?
Porn With The Wind - Plantation owner's daughter jonesing for some hot Slave Cock!
Pee Party! - Urine for some fun now!!
Femme Fatale - Super Secret Agent meets a deadly Russian vixen bent on his sexual destruction!
Hand Job Slut 1: The Awakening - The saga begins!! And Ends!! All eleven thrilling episodes are now on-line.
An Hour Before The Wedding - She's not married just yet, and isn't wasting a minute of time

And all the REST of my crap!

Discuss my stories (or suggest new ones) at my new Carnevil9 Tumblr page! Now with PICTURES!!!
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Old 07-17-2014, 04:45 PM   #15
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I have fapped to the ending of SOB.
Sick bastard.



I'll admit that my fave scene is where someone accuses the Feelgood Doctor (Robert Preston) of being a shyster. He replies, "Sir, a shyster is a dishonest and unethical lawyer. I, sir, am a QUACK!"

I also like that great singer-songwriter Bob (Hamilton) Camp had a role in the film, some years before he was cast as the bull Ferengi. As his former partner Bob Gibson wrote in song, "Even a living legend's gotta live". (Gibson & Camp inspired the Kingston Trio, Brothers Four, Peter Paul & Mary, and many other groups of the Folk Revival era.)
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Story of my Fucking Life (LW) - "change you name from Hypoxia to DOA, you died on acid moron. borrow a gun and do the world a favor. I'll give you 5 stars after you commit suicide." -Anon
What Is Cheating? (essay) - "Rumblin', stumblin', bumblin' BARF! I don't think an editor would help this mess. Was there a point? There certainly didn't seem to be a storyline." -Anon

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Old 07-17-2014, 05:40 PM   #16
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I could have sworn that I had made a post on this thread awhile back...weird.
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