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Old 04-08-2014, 03:10 PM   #1
AMoveableBeast
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Pearls Before Swine

Everyone has some brilliant idea that they think is going to make "Blood Meridian" look like a spaghetti western starring Jean-Claude Van Damme. Good luck on the Pulitzer.

I don't care about that.

I want to hear your worst idea, something that you thought of and were, like, "Yeah, yeah, that's it. And what if the Ewoks ALL became Jedi's? Man, that would be so freakin' sweet."

But then, in the morning when you sobered up, you were all, "What? What is this shit? 'And then the Ewoks knew; the only way to defeat their enemy was to stand on each other's shoulders, higher and higher, one on top of the other, like a great fuzzy totem pole: but with lightsabers.' God, that's terrible. Where are those cyanide capsules I've been saving?"

Lay it on me.
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Old 04-08-2014, 03:19 PM   #2
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Naw, I write 'em all up if they don't fritter out of my mind before I got them stuffed into the computer.

Half the fun is working to make something interestingly different from something that starts off just plain weird.
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Old 04-08-2014, 03:24 PM   #3
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I beat them until the pieces fit.
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Old 04-08-2014, 03:48 PM   #4
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You never have just a truly awful idea? It doesn't have to be put to paper. What about at two in the morning when you can't sleep!

Personally speaking, I couldn't enumerate all of the literary abominations that I've been forced to abort over the years.
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Old 04-08-2014, 03:54 PM   #5
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Old 04-08-2014, 04:06 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AMoveableBeast View Post
You never have just a truly awful idea? It doesn't have to be put to paper. What about at two in the morning when you can't sleep!

Personally speaking, I couldn't enumerate all of the literary abominations that I've been forced to abort over the years.
I woke up with one revolving in my mind this morning, getting me up two hours before my alarm was set for--and faced with two guest rooms full of guests. It's written now. 4,000 words in two hours (after an hour of standing around on one foot and another waiting for guests to get on the road who assumed I'd still be in bed when they left), streaming right out from what my mind was putting together as I woke. I'll let it set and may tweak it, but it's essentially done, with no thought to whether it should be kept or not. It's already in a file for an anthology to publish sometime this summer.
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Old 04-08-2014, 05:13 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AMoveableBeast View Post
You never have just a truly awful idea? It doesn't have to be put to paper. What about at two in the morning when you can't sleep!

Personally speaking, I couldn't enumerate all of the literary abominations that I've been forced to abort over the years.
I don't get too many ideas. I have to use the ones I get. Valentines day snake mating, when I had already decided to write about seasonal affective disorder, for example. Or tarantulas, mermaids and lesbians. I just make it fit. Sometimes the result is readable, sometimes not so much.

The rest of my bad ideas are in notebooks, waiting to be beaten into a story. I don't get enough ideas to toss the bad ones.

(I don't mean to imply that all of my ideas are good or that they've all been completed. I just hoard them for later.)
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Old 04-08-2014, 05:33 PM   #8
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Something like "Brokeback Mountain", but Superman and Batman ?
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Old 04-08-2014, 05:36 PM   #9
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I once had one about Cockroaches taking over the world.

It's still a work in progress.

I don't think I will ever finish it.
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Old 04-08-2014, 05:41 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeb_Carter View Post
I once had one about Cockroaches taking over the world.

It's still a work in progress.

I don't think I will ever finish it.
Men in Black already did that.
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Old 04-08-2014, 05:43 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Handley_Page View Post
Something like "Brokeback Mountain", but Superman and Batman ?
Don't you mean incredible, HP? Also, Supes has to be the bottom in that relationship. He just has to.

*cuddling in the dark*
"Is that you, Bruce?"
"Of course. Who else would it be, Clark?"
"And you're Batman, right?"
"I am vengeance. I am the night."
"Really? Because with how quickly you finished there, I could have sworn you were The Flash."
"Don't make me get the kryptonite ball-gag."

Last edited by AMoveableBeast : 04-08-2014 at 05:59 PM.
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Old 04-08-2014, 05:44 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by patientlee View Post
Men in Black already did that.
No, they didn't.

My idea is completely different.

The cockroaches aren't that big and don't fly spaceships.

They do behave in a military manner, kind of like Army Ants.
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Old 04-08-2014, 05:45 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeb_Carter View Post
I once had one about Cockroaches taking over the world.

It's still a work in progress.

I don't think I will ever finish it.
That could be good. I think a political satire involving cockroaches in a post-apocalyptic world would offer some promise.

Or did you mean purely in a creeping wave of doom sort of way?
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Old 04-08-2014, 05:47 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AMoveableBeast View Post
That could be good. I think a political satire involving cockroaches in a post-apocalyptic world would offer some promise.

Or did you mean purely in a creeping wave of doom sort of way?
I think Kafka already wrote that one.
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Old 04-08-2014, 05:54 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeb_Carter View Post
No, they didn't.

My idea is completely different.

The cockroaches aren't that big and don't fly spaceships.

They do behave in a military manner, kind of like Army Ants.
I had a fleeting cockroach idea this morning. My bio teacher friend has Madagascar hissing cockroaches with about a hundred babies. (She feeds them to the bearded dragon). I didn't exactly reject it, but I wasn't too interested in it either. They behaved like cockroaches, which is why I wasn't too interested.
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Old 04-08-2014, 05:57 PM   #16
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I think Kafka already wrote that one.
I was thinking more "Animal Farm" with roaches. Still, fuck it. It's the decade of the remake. Get Michael Bay on the phone. We'll do up "The Metamorphosis" Hollywood-style. How do you feel about Optimus Prime as Gregor? And his family can be played by an ensemble cast from the WWE. And instead of being all socioeconomical and shit, it can be like a cage match or something, representing man's innate struggle against his natural need to prove useful to society and also his inability to escape big honking fucking cages that lock...FROM THE OUTSIDE!

Oh, I'm getting chills.
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Old 04-08-2014, 06:01 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by AMoveableBeast View Post
Don't you mean incredible, HP? Also, Supes has to be the bottom in that relationship. He just has to.

*cuddling in the dark*
"Is that you, Bruce?"
"Of course. Who else would it be, Clark?"
"And you're Batman, right?"
"I am vengeance. I am the night."
"Really? Because with how quickly you finished there, I could have sworn you were The Flash."
"Don't make me get the kryptonite ball-gag."
Works for me.
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Old 04-08-2014, 06:03 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AMoveableBeast View Post
That could be good. I think a political satire involving cockroaches in a post-apocalyptic world would offer some promise.

Or did you mean purely in a creeping wave of doom sort of way?
This would be current events kind of thing.
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Old 04-08-2014, 06:04 PM   #19
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Quote:
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I had a fleeting cockroach idea this morning. My bio teacher friend has Madagascar hissing cockroaches with about a hundred babies. (She feeds them to the bearded dragon). I didn't exactly reject it, but I wasn't too interested in it either. They behaved like cockroaches, which is why I wasn't too interested.
Which is why I will probably not pursue this idea. Although I probably have four or five word pages...I just drifted away from it.
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Old 04-08-2014, 06:20 PM   #20
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This would be current events kind of thing.
Like, "The Happening", except with cockroaches? Mark Wahlberg is sort of like a cockroach. He just won't go away, and he can survive, what with other actors would be, career-killing roles with nary a scratch.

Also, the idea suddenly comes to me for a character in an erotic story named The Cockroach, who is disgusting in every way--his behavior, his appearance--yet he always manages to find a way inside of a woman's house and into her bedroom. He sleeps all day, eats her food. Having no other choice, she eventually kills him with a block of poisoned cheese.

Is that one of the bad ones? Yes, I think it is.
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Old 04-08-2014, 08:26 PM   #21
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This was one of my bad ideas, as you can see from the PCs:

http://www.literotica.com/s/trapped-7

This one usually produces a WTF? response:

http://www.literotica.com/s/white-scut

And this one lived up to its title "The Worst Chain Story Ever Chapter 01"

http://www.literotica.com/s/the-wors...ory-ever-ch-01

That Chain Story was an Authors' Hangout collaboration. It met its theme perfectly. Some chapters didn't follow on from the previous ones, some were never written, and we all tried to write as badly as we could. I think we succeeded in creating "The Worst". But my Chapter One set such a low standard that other authors were struggling to reach a similar depth of awfulness.

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Old 04-08-2014, 08:37 PM   #22
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Old 04-08-2014, 08:55 PM   #23
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I read Heinlein's TIME FOR THE STARS and tried to write a story about a telepathic family of twins, triplets and quadruplets. I was young and stupid then. I must not be quite so stupid now, because I haven't thought about that lately. But hmmm, if they were incestuous...
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Old 04-08-2014, 09:09 PM   #24
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Quote:
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if they were incestuous...
You'd shoot to superstardom.
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Old 04-08-2014, 09:25 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by patientlee View Post
Valentines day snake mating, when I had already decided to write about seasonal affective disorder, for example.
That's sounds interesting, I'd give it a read just to see the story line.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Handley_Page View Post
Something like "Brokeback Mountain", but Superman and Batman ?
It's been done, there are some quite pornographic fan fic sites around.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeb_Carter View Post
I once had one about Cockroaches taking over the world.

It's still a work in progress.

I don't think I will ever finish it.
Made me think of "Joe's Apartment but on a much bigger scale. lol. I'd read it

As for me? Like Lee said I don't get enough good idea's so I have to keep the bad ones as well on virtual post its on my desk top until I tire of looking at them. Possible one of bad idea's that keep thinking about is ... how do you collar, brand or tattoo a water sprite (any sprite really) when they becomes a slave... lol something to think about again, and again, and yet again!

Yeah I like sci-fi fantasy...
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