StrongMaster7
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2004
- Posts
- 1,899
In a perfect world...
everyone would find their lifemate, soulmate, with whom they are perfectly compatible in every way. They would have identical sex drives and enjoy all the same things in the same ways with the same frequency. And if either of them changed or grew, the other would change and grow in lock-step with them. There would be no secrets, no disagreements, no surprises, no divorce. Let's all hold our breath until that world arrives.
In this world, people fall in love with whom they fall in love. Sometimes opposites attract. Sometimes people come from different backgrounds, have different histories, and grow and change and have independent thoughts, ideas, experiences. Sometimes one partner changes from who they were during courtship and dating to someone who has to run or help run a household, including kids AND work outside the home. Sometimes people have health problems, or emotional problems, or life events like the death of a parent, child, pet, or friend. Sometimes one partner has had a traumatic experience that causes them to be inhibited sexually. Their partner tries patiently to help them grow and explore, but it doesn't always work.
And for any of those circumstances or about a million others, one partner in a loving relationship may have a greater need for sexual release/variety/frequency than the other. So, aside from divorce, what are the options? Seek other sexual partners in secret. In my mind THAT is cheating, adultery, whatever you care to call it. Risks include STDs, being caught, being blackmailed, guilt, and more.
By comparison, watching online porn, posting on Lit, and masturbating in private (secretly) allows a partner to get rid of the physical need safely and avoids making the other loved partner feel inadequate.
I think that the less-driven partner compartmentalizes sex and chooses not to consider the needs of the more-driven partner, especially after some time. And if the more-driven partner can do online chat, exchange bulletin board posts, or otherwise have indirect, short-term electronic "contact" with others in similar situations that can make them feel less isolated, alone, and different, all the better.
I've been married 30 years. I've masturbated every day of that time. That's close to 11,000 times. I'd estimate my wife and I have had sex 1500-3000 times in that same 30 years. I've cum "with" some porn stars more than I have with my wife. So shame on me.
My wife and I have raised two kids through college graduation and into careers. We've kept a roof over our heads and food on the table. We love and support each other as best friends and lovers through good times and bad. She doesn't think less of me because I don't like gardening or chick flicks. And I don't think less of her because her sexual menu is smaller and her needs are less frequent.
So, sorry if we aren't doing "being a couple" right. It's not perfect, but it works for us.
everyone would find their lifemate, soulmate, with whom they are perfectly compatible in every way. They would have identical sex drives and enjoy all the same things in the same ways with the same frequency. And if either of them changed or grew, the other would change and grow in lock-step with them. There would be no secrets, no disagreements, no surprises, no divorce. Let's all hold our breath until that world arrives.
In this world, people fall in love with whom they fall in love. Sometimes opposites attract. Sometimes people come from different backgrounds, have different histories, and grow and change and have independent thoughts, ideas, experiences. Sometimes one partner changes from who they were during courtship and dating to someone who has to run or help run a household, including kids AND work outside the home. Sometimes people have health problems, or emotional problems, or life events like the death of a parent, child, pet, or friend. Sometimes one partner has had a traumatic experience that causes them to be inhibited sexually. Their partner tries patiently to help them grow and explore, but it doesn't always work.
And for any of those circumstances or about a million others, one partner in a loving relationship may have a greater need for sexual release/variety/frequency than the other. So, aside from divorce, what are the options? Seek other sexual partners in secret. In my mind THAT is cheating, adultery, whatever you care to call it. Risks include STDs, being caught, being blackmailed, guilt, and more.
By comparison, watching online porn, posting on Lit, and masturbating in private (secretly) allows a partner to get rid of the physical need safely and avoids making the other loved partner feel inadequate.
I think that the less-driven partner compartmentalizes sex and chooses not to consider the needs of the more-driven partner, especially after some time. And if the more-driven partner can do online chat, exchange bulletin board posts, or otherwise have indirect, short-term electronic "contact" with others in similar situations that can make them feel less isolated, alone, and different, all the better.
I've been married 30 years. I've masturbated every day of that time. That's close to 11,000 times. I'd estimate my wife and I have had sex 1500-3000 times in that same 30 years. I've cum "with" some porn stars more than I have with my wife. So shame on me.
My wife and I have raised two kids through college graduation and into careers. We've kept a roof over our heads and food on the table. We love and support each other as best friends and lovers through good times and bad. She doesn't think less of me because I don't like gardening or chick flicks. And I don't think less of her because her sexual menu is smaller and her needs are less frequent.
So, sorry if we aren't doing "being a couple" right. It's not perfect, but it works for us.
