Newbie seeks editor for 3,400 word story: male POV m/f public/masturb/anal toy/oral

Hello Literoticans. I'm a newcomer to your sexy land and looking for assistance planting my flag.

I currently have a 3,400 word story I'd appreciate being looked over. Male POV, a chance encounter with a woman on on a bus leading to public exhibitionism, masturbation, a bit of anal toy play and oral action.

I'd like to think I'm ok in the spelling/grammar department (don't we all?), and would especially appreciate feedback on overall structure and hotness of content.

Should this work out, I have a couple more completed stories of similar length, and maybe a half-dozen more in various states of completion. Thematic content is somewhat different for each (light BDSM, medieval mythical creatures and forced public sex, modern-day fantasy scenarios...) so an editor with a variety of interests would be welcome.

I contacted someone yesterday via the VE search list, so I'm still holding out hope there. However, a few minutes perusal of these forums suggests this is the best method of obtaining an editor. It's a long weekend and I've got a lot of free time on my hands, so I'm hoping to hear from someone soon.

Here's the first four paragraphs of the story:

"Just one more inch. Just one... more... inch..." I prayed, repeating the mantra that had been on my lips for several delightfully agonizing minutes.

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I hadn't imagined anything like this would happen to me when I boarded the bus this morning. I'd gotten on at my usual stop, at the usual time, and found it nearly empty. As usual.

Today it was grouchy Mrs. Ritmeier in the front. I smiled and said hello. She only frowned and looked away; no growl meant she must be in a pretty good mood. Further back was Bill, lying across two seats and looking like he was nursing a pretty rough hangover. I didn't bother trying to greet him.

Up the steps to the back, and... there was someone in my seat. I wasn't about to complain, though. She was quite the looker, so I settled down in the opposite seat to admire the view: Blonde hair that just brushed her shoulders, a low-cut boho blouse that showed off a generous amount of cleavage, and a knee-length blue paisley skirt. Ahhh… An excellent start to the day.

Click to expand...

I have time on my hands, you can send it to me if you like - You can find my VE profile by searching "Fegg" under "Languages Accepted" - Message me via that and I'll reply with my email

Thanks, Bert_Fegg. I sent you a message through the VE system, hopefully it makes it though. If not, I have PMs turned on for my forum account.