Feedback for new story

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WendallBlaise

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Jan 27, 2016
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Hello, I'm looking for some feedback on this story. I have a few stories published now, and many more in progress, but am looking to get more connected. Any feedback would be great: general editing, theme or story structure, even armchair psychology is welcome and appreciated.

This story started from a writing prompt on submissive oral fetishes. Not sure I really grasp the sub/dom thing yet.

Thanks for reading.

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[Material prohibited per our forum guidelines]
 
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This story will get pulled from the thread. You're breaching the site's publishing guidelines.

This forum is for stories already posted on Lit, not new material that hasn't been submitted yet.
 
What electric blue said, but I'll add some comments. You spend a lot of time on what's happending as the story opens, it none on why it's happening. I get that theses two characters know each other, but without any hint of context, it's hard to get into.
 
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