A few months ago I decided to tell her I was going to do her when and how I wanted. I have donethings like bend her over without saying anything and doing her basically whenever I want. What advice do you have to help me continue. I am new to this and she is pretty willingly. Thanksin advance
taking control of wife
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MeekMe
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Well, the first thing you can do is TALK to her about it. She's pretty willing? Willing to do what? Seriously, have a conversation with your wife like an adult. Read the stickies at the top and look through the forum. Communication and consent are extremely important.
BDSM isn't one size fits all. So I suggest you look at what's out there (your wife, too) and decide what best fits in your relationship.
Felix_Jones
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Get a divorce. They're expensive because they are worth it.
MeekMe
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You have to do the research. No one here is in your relationship. If you have specific questions, we can help with that. But as it is, you and your wife decide what goes in your relationship. As I said, we have a ton of information in the stickies and throughout the board, so just take a look around.
DVS
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Exactly. If she has already consented to this, she's waiting for what you come up with, not for what we might suggest. She wants to know what's in your head...what you want to do to her body. She wants to know how kinky you are. If you give her things others suggest, she'll get the wrong impression.
Trust me, she'll love whatever you have in mind, as long as you came up with it. Once you do something, next time vary it a bit. Start out with the same thing but then switch to something else, to keep her confused. Sexually confused is always a fun feeling for a woman, if her confusion is caused by someone she's interested in.
IrisAlthea
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HussarVanburen
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It seems she's adapting fairly well to your manly control of her. I suggest continuing the course as it stands. Do as you please. She's obeying you like she should.
midwestyankee
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If you're having trouble continuing, I recommend Cialis. Lasts longer than Viagra, with fewer side effects.
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IrisAlthea
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*Snerk*
She does basically let me do what I want to her. I was just looking for advice on how to continue to the next level without freaking her out. I was thinking about public stuff next like dressing her slutty or making her do stuff in car. What you guys think.
CutieMouse
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Personally, those sorts of things (dressing slutty in public or being told to "do stuff" while in the car) would be A) yawn inducing and B) incompatibility issues.
Have you considered Googling a BDSM checklist for ideas, and going over it together? Order in Chinese food (pizza, whatever), open a bottle of wine and go over it individually and together. Laugh at stuff, find out what each other thinks sounds interesting, find out where the "hell no" buttons are (as well as the "huh... maybe?" buttons).
Ultimately, the only person who can tell you how to move forward without freaking her out, is your wife. She's probably one of the best resources you have.
Glycanthrope
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"We guys" think that the members of this forum are clueless as to what might "freak her out" respectively turn her on. Only your sub knows that, so try talking to her.
It's called "communication", and it is a very important ingredient in any relationship, both vanilla and BDSM,
so say it with me: com-mu-ni-ca-tion
When you get that new kinky idea - talk to her about it.
If she freaks out, then you're on the wrong wavelength.
When you plan a kinky session - mention it a few days in advance, and read her response - does the anticipation make her excited, or does she show signs of a potential "freak out" ?
When you have carried out your kinky session - talk it over how it went, and where you should go from there.
Once you've tried it, you'll get the hang of it.
Glycanthrope
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Damn! CutieMouse, you beat me to the reply 
midwestyankee
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In fantasyland, it seems quite the cool thing to make one's partner do kinky things in public. In realityland, no one outside of your relationship wants to be involuntarily involved in your shit. Besides, if you fuck up and go too far, the police might choose to take over the control of you and/or your wife. So unless that's your kink, lay off the public shit.
Those who have pointed out that only your wife knows what will trip her buttons - especially the ones linked to her personal nuclear launch codes - are right. Talk to her and not us. We. Don't. Know. Her. You might, though I'm beginning to wonder about this.
midwestyankee
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Then she's setting you up for failure. You - like every other human being - can't read her mind. She - like every other human being - has fantasies about how she'd love to be treated sexually. This combination guarantees that your experiments with BDSM will fail, at least in her eyes. You'll have to somehow make this clear to her. If she cares about the success of your relationship, she'll make an attempt to help you understand her desires. If she won't do that, she probably doesn't really care about either the desires or the relationship.
You'll just have to make her understand that she can't have both radio silence and a successful relationship, with or without the BDSM element.
Curious_in_Cali
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Truth.
KoPilot
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Can we sticky this post somehow?
Stella_Omega
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Presumably you are both adults, and understand that it's worthwhile doing things that are uncomfortable because the payoff is worth it?
Don't misunderstand me, I am STILL uncomfortable talking about it, some of the time. And I know for a fact that I'm missing out on some big fun because of it. That's on me, no one else.
Read MidwestYankee's reply about five more times, and make her read it too.
