The Dragon Gambit

Discretion is the better part of Cowardice

From high up in the rafters, Fenegar spoke down, interjecting into the scintillating debate on the merits of being eaten by dragons. From his perspective, there were only two issues that entered into the matter. One: He was hired to find and rescue Princess Lolipop, or whatever her name was. Two: Dragons, from his admittingly spotty recollection of lore, typically kept hoards of gold. Next to those concerns, the problems with murdering a dragon became secondary, or possibly even tertiary. Goblins had done more for less.

"I can kind of see where the snake lady is coming from guys. If we're going to kill the giant unstoppable killing machine, lets try for an approach that goes beyond 'standing around with its food' as a plan. Cause I can only see that one turning out one way, and it ain't going to be a great moral victory for no one."


Dropping down from the ceiling on a line, Fenegar dropped into the group of adventurers, considering each in turn as he continued to talk, laying out what he personal felt was the best course of action for the matter. This sort of plotting was, after all, second nature to the Goblin.

"The way I see it, we don't even have to fight the dragon, least ways not at first. If, like Jola said, it has to go out and feed once a week, that means that its away from its lair while thats taking place. Now, if we wait for it to leave, and then step into its cave, we should be able to save the Princess, and be out of there before the dragon comes back. Heck, if you big strong warriors want to, you guys can keep it busy, while me an the snakelady get this shit locked down."

Fenegar grinned at his own plan, rubbing his hands together with no small amount of glee. Not only would this plan allow him to collect the princess, but it'd leave that hoard of gold just sitting there, just waiting for some poor, underpaid goblin to collect it. It was a perfect plan, at least as far as he could see.

Naturally the Paladin had to go and fuck things up.

How to Kill your Dragon

Koren listened as the small goblin spoke, laying out a typical goblin plan, where the greenskin got the rewards, and everyone else was in mortal peril. He would have loved to have objected to it, to have stated that it was a dishonorable course of action, but he knew Fenegar had a valid point.

It would be better to split up in this case. With Fenegar's plan it did not matter if they stopped the dragon or not, the princess would still be saved. Such an outcome would ensure that Koren's first duty, the protection of life, was maintained. Besides, between himself, the minotaur, and the mage, they should have as effective a force for dragon slaying as one could want. Two more would make little difference in such a pitched fight, and Fenegar was right that their talents were better suited to a subtle approach. Perhaps working thus, they could do what the people of the village had failed at, and finally stop the dragon.

"I find the goblin's plan to be plotting, underhanded, and somewhat repulsive...but it may work. What say you friends?"

Everyone nodded in agreement to the plan, as no one could think of a better one.

“The journey will be a long one. I think the best route is to hike out of these mountains in an easterly direction. Then we head over to Port Tyr. Going directly to Valoor village would require scaling the Arrset mountain range. It is too high and rugged. Lots of bad creatures live there. But if we head to Port Tyr … pick up a boat … it is a quick journey by sea … around the mountain range … then a hike inland and we will arrive at Valoor village. The party splits and we can execute the plan.” Chloe suggested.

Zarik nodded but added “I agree … but what of the pirates? I have been told there are lots of pirate along that sea route.”

Chloe nodded as well “Yes … we will need to figure out a way around them … maybe a few of my spells can help. But together I think we can get past them …” She answered his concerns.

Then Jola spoke up “You all realize we are following a plan a goblin thought up … don’t you think that … in and of itself is a good reason to reject it?”

The minotaur snorted “The little green folk …sometimes have good ideas” He commented.

“Name one” Jola challenged him.

“Well … mmmm … what about the time …oh no that one did not end so well. I can’t really think of any right now. But goblins are an advanced race with many accomplishments” Zarik concluded

“Advanced? … Shit! Their magic users are called shaman … they live in Stone Age like conditions …under the ground … give me a break!” Jola exclaimed. Then Chloe put her hand of Jola shoulder.

"We need to be a team ... if this is going to work" Chloe instructed.

Jola shut up after that except for a small whisper that everyone heard “this is a suicide mission” Jola grumbled.

Zarik looked to the Paladin, then back to everyone else “I believe the Knight should lead us …I’m ready to go … how about everyone else?” The minotaur asked. Jola, and Sir Koren Darkblade were ready as they were still carrying their traveling packs. Chloe said “I can be ready soon … 10 minutes.” Everyone looked at the goblin, as he had not said anything yet.

Send in the Dwarves!

Fenegar listened to the others with a casual ear, not bothering to refer the slander laid against his race. Goblins did indeed live in holes in the ground, that didn't make their homes any less comfortable than what Halfings or Dwarves sought as refuge. As to stone age technology...well that may have had a point, at least for some of his country cousins, but Fenegar's tribe had advanced to simple clock making, and even a few steam powered instruments, like his own crossbow. There was no reason to bring up such technology though, not when it was far better for outsiders to think them savages. After all, Goblins cultivated a savage reputation for a reason.

One point he did interject on though, was the sea mission. As much as he loathed it, he did have an option for that, which if it worked out, might provide them the transport they required, free from any concerns about piracy.

Assuming of course that the party in question didn't summarily execute him when next they met. Dwarves could really carry grudges...

"I might have an idea for Port Tyr. I know a guy, one hell of a swordsman, He works as a pirate hunter and such. He goes by Charr, Charr Redblade. I'm not going to say any more on that though. He does his own press well enough. Could talk the ears off a freakin Banshee."

What Fenegar tactfully neglected to mention is that the Dwarf in question had tried to take his head on their last encounter, mistaking an honest game of chance for some sort of conspiracy against him. You'd think the swashbuckler had never heard of cheating or something. Needless to say the goblin had needed to make his retreat quickly, and with some guile. He was mildly curious how the Dwarf had gotten out of that outhouse.

Fenegar was less than concerned though, one word about their great and epic quest, and the oaf would doubtless be begging to join in, just for the chance to add another princess save to his list of accomplishments. Charr kept a freaking diary of that kind of crap. His one goal in life was to die in glorious combat, and he hadn't managed the hat trick yet. As near as Fen could tell, Raven Queen was afraid to take him, for fear of spending eternity listening to his memoirs.

On the Road Again...

"If we must involve another, so be it. We should be away. There is much to be done, and little time to do it in. I fear for the princess if we're not able to find her quickly. Immortal or no, few last long in the grip of a greater wyrm."

There was an air of distaste to Koren's words as he spoke of the dragon. Wyrm, in this context meant a dragon of great evil, and it was very nearly the worst curse one of his race might bestow on an enemy. Dragonkind had spent millenia trying to overcome some dark eras of their history, and it upset him greatly to see one of them replayed again. He longed only for the chance to stop this monster, and set things right.

Stepping up to the high priestess, he bowed to her, and spoke humbly, as befitting his role as a paladin in her service.

"Milady, can you loan us the use of a cart? I know goblins are useless with horses, and we need all the speed that can be gained if we are to stop this menace. I will return it forthwith to the temple at Tyr."

Jola

“Excuse me .. Sir Drag-o-lot, but the cart might be useful for me too!” Jola added looking down at her snake body. Jola had actually ridden horses before. So she could do it … but generally the horse did not like her snake body wrapped around its mid-section. Riding in a cart was more practical.

The high priestess giggled at Jola nickname for Sir Darkblade. She leaned in closer to the draconian and whispered “How do you put up with her?” she asked him about Jola.

Then louder so all could hear. “Why of course … bring a cart at once, and put enough food and water in it for the trip to Port Tyr.” She commanded. As the items were readied for the trip, Zarik introduced himself to everyone. He even got down on one knee to shake Fenegar hand.

The cart being pulled by two horses soon arrived along with three extra horses. One horse for Sir Darkblade, Chloe, and Zarik each. Zarik rode the largest horse, a big Clydesdale, because of his size. The group was on the road in about an hour and headed down the opposite slope as Jola and Koren came up this morning. The path was not as steep, but it was single file. Thus there was no talking between the party members except for Jola and Fenegar, who sat side by side in the cart.

No one knew what those two were talking about … but at one point Jola pulled out a dagger and aimed at Fenegar’s crotch. This did not seem to stop the conversation as Fenegar only grew bolder after that.

Then Jola was overheard saying “If you want to compare … My lower body is one huge phallus symbol … so don’t tell how huge your thing is” Then, to make her point, her snake tail rose up next to Fenegar reaching the top of his head. “And the tip … moves” She added making her snake tip vibrate wildly.

Chloe

By late afternoon the path widened and the group entered a thick and wild forest. There were no major populated areas within one day’s travel, so they would need to have their wits about them. The forest could be a dangerous place even for a group as formidable as these 5. The trees grew thick and covered the path, making it feel as if they rode through a living plant tunnel. Only a small percentage of the light made it through the canopy of vegetation, so it became darker and more difficult to see. But the path was well kept, so they continued to make good progress.

This gave the group some time to talk amongst themselves. Although Chloe wanted to get to know the draconian knight better, she was riding nearest to the minotaur. So she started to talk to him first.

“Zarik, may I ask you a few questions?” Chloe asked the minotaur.

Zarik turned his black bull’s head to face her, the golden nose ring swinging from the motion.

“I shall do my best to answer” He said.

“Thanks … the minotaur race has remained isolated from the other races. I have never actually met one before. You are the first. Why? And what brought you to leave your lands?” Chloe asked hoping the questions did not offend the minotaur.

Zarik smiled … or what Chloe took to be a smile.

“Minotaurs … can be difficult to get along with. We are very good fighters, which can intimidate the lesser races. We have conquered many lands near our kingdom. They don’t tend to stay in the herd long however. But that is another story. Minotaurs tend to handle situations with dignity and self-control. But push a minotaur too far, we can suddenly turn into a raging bull, and once this happens, we are difficult to calm. And oh yes, lest I forget, Minotaurs are stubborn - the most stubborn of all the races. Once we form an opinion, we are immovable, and nothing will change our minds.” Zarik explained.

Chloe looked at the massive fighter dressed in his golden armor.

“I’m not sure I could sum up the human race so easily or so honestly, but please continue” Chloe commented.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, minotaurs are all different” Zarik explained “but at least for the males … those are pretty common traits. 9 out of 10 minotaurs are like that. It is why my race decided to stay away from the other races. Our arrogant and smug attitudes tend to make for bad race relations.

I’m presently on a mission, for my king. This mission forced me to leave our kingdom and journey through your lands. The disappearance of the princess was something foretold by the Oracle of Torozen. Thus I was in the right place at the right time.” Zarik finished.

“Thanks … that explains a lot” Chloe said … she had been curious of one thing so she decide to ask about it. “Off subject … But why is there a ring in your nose?” Chloe asked.

“It was a wedding present.” Zarik said with disgust in his voice. He could tell the female mage wanted to hear more “The tissue in a minotaur’s nose is very sensitive, so a light tug on the ring can be a powerful cue to the male minotaur.” Zarik added.

“So the female minotaurs … lead the bulls around by their noses!” She giggled.

“True … but it is not funny!” Zarik answered back.

Chloe nodded understand this was a sore subject for the male minotaurs.

“Thanks … and sorry for laughing” She said … but every time she thought of some smaller female minotaur leading Zarik around by his nose she wanted to laugh. So she rode up to Koren, who was at the front of the group.

“You won’t believe what the ring in Zarik’s nose is for …” She explained to the draconian. She also explained to him, where the eggs from the temple had been placed and how hard she had to work to prevent the goblin from being castrated. She ended the whole thing with a totally out of the blue question.

“I’m curious … Koren, but do Paladins take an oath of celibacy or anything like that?” She asked.

Azar

(at the same time ... in a cave 100 miles away this scene was playing out)

Azar walked in front of the imp. Her eyes glowed with a horrible evil. Milipix knew right away, he was in big trouble and something evil was going to happen to him.

"Mistress … have I done something wrong … I’m sorry … please don’t do this …” He begged.

Azar smiled “I love it when they beg like that …” She said to the metal monster behind her. She cast a spell and her hands glowed … She touched the Imp and suddenly the imp fell to the ground, out cold.

The metal Golem picked the small Imp up and chained him to the wall. As he came to moments later. He stared at the fire sprite. The sprite laughed at his un-asked question.

“You failed to find the princess … for that I plan to drain your soul away.” She explained. “I’m afraid …. This will destroy your mind … and kill you” She said with an evil smile.

“No … please … the princess is with the dragon … in the dragon’s lair!” The imp squealed.

“Valoor, the terrible? That is a rumor the forest fey have started … but I think not. He would roast her and eat her if that was the case. No that is a trap … anyone dumb enough to try a rescue her will die … So where is the princess?”” The female sprite asked again.

“I … I have not found her yet!” The imp explained “I need more time … MORE TIME”

Azar hands suddenly crackled with lightning bolts … She place one on the imp crotch and another on his chest. The lightning leapt into imp’s body and sent pain shooting into him. Then Azar smiled even more evilly as electric current was turned up. Imp could not hold back and screamed in pain … as his soul was ripped from his body. The imp body went limp. He was dead.

Azar released the spell and said, “You don’t have any more TIME!”

Azar turned to the metal golem “Respect … that is all I ask … get another imp in here … and I want a report on the destruction of the temples dedicated to the good deities. I don’t want some dammed god getting in my WAY!”

Koren Darkblade

The road from the temple to the coast was a long and winding one, and for that Koren was grateful for the use of a strong horse, even if this particular one lacked a certain...panache. Older than some, the great horse moved at a slow, somber pace, unaffected by anything the dragonborn paladin might try to do. It was used to spiriting clerics across this path, and it clearly considered he no better.

Typical.

Still, the time they spent in transit was time that could be spent on the problem at hand. Contrary to the goblin's lighthearted plan, he knew that fighting a dragon, particularly an elder one such as this, was no laughing matter. In times past, dragon's had been a law unto themselves. It had only been recently that the great race had lost much of this power, thanks in no small part to the efforts of the temple of Bahamut. Despite often being called 'dragon lovers' the temple had never sided with dark dragons against mortals. They stood behind the great platinum Dragon Bahamut, whose goal was justice and unity, not tyranny. Tyranny was an anathema to the principles of the temple.

Fighting great wyrms was thus a part of Koren's responsibilities, though he himself had never undertaken such a mission. His purpose had largely been concerned with the protection of his temple, and the people within. There was little time for anything else. Even close relationships, like the one he had with Jola, were more the result of happenstance, than any intentional act on his part.

His thoughts were interrupted when Chloe rode up beside him, speaking cheerfully, her own steed obviously more spirited that his own. Perhaps his weight was a factor, though it was hard to tell with such pack animals. She laughed as she talked to him about the minotaur, explaining to him an esoteric practice of that unique breed. It didn't surprise him that greatly, dragonborn had their own unusual practices, though her was wary to speak of them with her. He was relieved by her admission that the eggs had been well cared for, and indifferent to her referral to the goblin's trouble making. He saw the greenskin as a continuing trial on his patience. Bahamut only knew what other troubles the little monster had caused.

When she asked about his vows though, that brought the dragonborn up short. Had he possessed such an ability, the paladin might have blushed at the question. In practice, these sorts of things were simply not discussed with outsiders. Paladins were expected to maintain a certain...distance from others, and such topics were unfit for discussion by the strictest interpretations of his order. Nonetheless, he was also intrigued by what the question could mean for him personally. Was she perhaps fishing for something more between them? Jola had already suggested such a possibility.

"Well...uhm....Paladins are not, strictly forbidden from...carnal liasons. It is not the purpose of our god to judge such actions. His providence is justice, not morality. That said, it is...well...frowned upon, for one of the cloth to seek casual liasons. It is felt that doing so would weaken his resolve to help all evenly."

(Part 2 coming soonish. Ran out of time this morning )

(Part 2)
Fenegar Lightfinger

Riding high in the wagon, Fenegar traded barbs with Jola while he focused his mind towards what was to come, and the prospect of the pay to come. Whereas his mind was usually sharp and hungry for such matters, it now took an effort for the goblin to bring his mind to its usual knife's edge. The pampering he had recieved over the last few days were uncommon for one of his kind, who typically worked tirelessly for food, drink, shelter, and women.

In contrast, Fenegar had not had to steal food the last three days, nor con or buy his way to wine or bed. Even his lodging had been free at the temple. One might have thought such richness would have spoiled him, but quite the contrary, he found himself anxious now to be away. He longed for a new con, the challenge of talking a comely lass into his bed, or the comparative merits of stealing booze.

As he thought of this, he also recognized that his chances to indulge these passions were sharply reduced in present company. Other races were so tirelessly predictable with their morality, ignoring common sense in favor of dusty philosophies. Goblins were a young race, unhampered by such thinking. One who reached forty was considered an old man, while one beyond sixty might find themselves cast out. Such a society held little value in principles. Value was in what one could hold in their hands, never mind how one came by it.

Of course, some things were universal between races, and Jola had a very nice pair of universal constants to offer, dipping and swaying with the movements of the cart as they rode. Fenegar, gentleman that he was, could not have helped but comment upon them. After all, it'd be rude not to compliment such perfection of nature.

"Nice tits ya got there love, gotta say they're a bit nicer ta look at swaying at like that, than being stuffed in yer face till ya suffocate. Not that I'm complaining, mind. "

Jola

Jola smiled … this horny goblin just did not give up. It was actually kind of charming. She was considering sleeping with him. If only to verify or refute his implications about how “good in bed” he was.

“Fenegar I need a warm place to sleep tonight … how about we share a tent? Now can you please change the subject … I want to know more about you. Where are you from, what is your story? Why are you looking for the princess … and please don’t tell me someone told you she was a good fuck” Jola said.

Chloe

Chloe listened carefully as Koren answered her question.

"Well...uhm....Paladins are not, strictly forbidden from...carnal liasons. It is not the purpose of our god to judge such actions. His providence is justice, not morality. That said, it is...well...frowned upon, for one of the cloth to seek casual liasons. It is felt that doing so would weaken his resolve to help all evenly." He told her.

“But what if the help that a person needs is sex. I can imagine a situation where a certain female would need some sex … maybe to restore her self-confidence in her ability to attract men let’s say. Would you not need to help only her … in a carnal kind of way?’ Chloe asked.

She could not believe she had just said that. She did not know what it was about this dragonborn Paladin, but she was wanted to get in his pants in a bad way. She normally was very reserved. Although, there was that teacher back at her magic school she had a crush on. In that case there was a strict rule against teachers and students having sex. She never did have sex with him. Now that she thought about it …she must have made his life difficult. She noticed the pattern between the two crushes right away. She chased after men that were difficult or hard to get! This Dragonborn Paladin … she did not even know how dragonborn made love? And he was a Paladin. Not impossible … but most certainly difficult.

Understanding her behavior did not change it. As she waited for his answers she thrust her massive chest out just a bit more. Making sure he could see the size and dimensions of her two best assets.

Trouble Ahead

Lurking in the hills among the trees and below the traveling group … was a group of goblin and hobgoblin bandits. They made it a habit to menace travelers, rob them, and when in an extra bad mood … kill them. This particular group had seen the travelers approaching their location and they had licked their gnarled teeth.

The group’s sadistic leader, a hobgoblin named Bagpuss One Eye, was huge, at over six feet tall, with powerful muscles, and a horrible scar across one eye. He fingered the grip of his rusty mace. He could not believe his luck.

“Greenskin brothers, in a little bit, we’ll have us some minotaur, dragonborn, and snake to kill and eat.” He pointed in the distance to the human mage “Keep her alive I want to fuck her … before we eat her.” He chuckled “I’m not sure which part of me is more excited my cock or my belly!”

“Ahh Boss … what about the goblin riding with them?” A goblin asked.

“Fenegar Lightfinger! OH keep him alive too … I going to enjoy pulling each of his fingers off … one by one! Then pull his cock off … then his arms … and then his head!” Bagpuss One Eye growled.

“You are going to pull on his cock … that is really gay boss” the goblin said. Bagpuss thumped him with his mace … sending the goblin flying into the bushes. The group was quiet for a moment.

“Is he the goblin that … took your eye?” another goblin asked bravely.

There was silence … and then a short one word answer from Bagpuss “Yes”

The group of goblins and hobgoblins moved into position. They had dragged a fallen branch across the road. The group would stop to clear it for the wagon … then the bandits would fire their arrows … and it would be all over except for the fucking, pulling and eating.

They quietly crept into a good ambush position and waited.