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tiny_tits journal and random thoughts

tiny_tits said:
So my new dilemma is this:
There are things I want to experience sexually that won't happen with Kevin.
Talked about it with him, no go.
But I really really like (love?) being with him.
Do I:
(1) Forget the new experiences, stay with my man?
(2) Break up with Kevin and fulfill my fantasies?
(3) Have a secret weekend and don't tell him (yes... cheat)?
Click to expand...


Avoid #3 -- as exciting as it would be, it can only lead to guilt and heartbreak in the end, and only lamely avoids the inevitable.

#2 is probably the ultimate answer, unless Kevin changes -- and few people ever really change.

#1 is the temporary answer until you're ready for #2. While you're waiting things will slowly and painfully deteriorate. You will both feel it coming, but you won't really experience it together because you will have already separated emotionally.

I don't mean this to sound harsh or clinical, but there really isn't a lot of leeway in the way these things play out. Make the most of what you have together, but recognize that it is a temporary connection that will prepare each of you in some way for your separate futures. A lot of extraordinary moments await you. :kiss::kiss:
 
tiny_tits said:
So my new dilemma is this:
There are things I want to experience sexually that won't happen with Kevin.
Talked about it with him, no go.
But I really really like (love?) being with him.
Do I:
(1) Forget the new experiences, stay with my man?
(2) Break up with Kevin and fulfill my fantasies?
(3) Have a secret weekend and don't tell him (yes... cheat)?
Click to expand...

That's really a choice only you can make. I do find it hard to believe that he is unwilling to help you fulfil your fantasies. I don't pretend to know what they are but I would be willing to bet you would be willing to return the favor for him.
 
Some motherly advice.....:eek:! That makes me sound old.. :D

Stay with Kevin for the RIGHT reasons. If he really loves you, you him....he respects you...and his mother. Especially if you would like to get married some day. It sounds like he's already somewhat adventurous.

If youre not ready to settle down with one person yet, then dont. You're very young. Maybe you need to be single for a while and explore a bit.

WE ALL have fantasies. And they are called Fantasies because that's exactly what most of them are and should remain.

You may find that if you broke up with him to fulfill these fantasies, you may be giving up something good for a temporary fix. Only to find that you then have new fantasies that pop up.
 
tiny_tits said:
So my new dilemma is this:
There are things I want to experience sexually that won't happen with Kevin.
Talked about it with him, no go.
But I really really like (love?) being with him.
Do I:
(1) Forget the new experiences, stay with my man? Talk him into them
(2) Break up with Kevin and fulfill my fantasies? If you love the guy, not worth it
(3) Have a secret weekend and don't tell him (yes... cheat)?
Click to expand...
Generally a bad idea
 
tiny_tits said:
So my new dilemma is this:
There are things I want to experience sexually that won't happen with Kevin.
Talked about it with him, no go.
But I really really like (love?) being with him.
Do I:
(1) Forget the new experiences, stay with my man?
(2) Break up with Kevin and fulfill my fantasies?
(3) Have a secret weekend and don't tell him (yes... cheat)?
Click to expand...

You have a lot of time to experience these things if your relationship doesn't work out. If you think this may be something special with Kevin, and you end it just to experience your fantasies, you'll always wonder what you might have lost. As for cheating . . . you've already seen how much one blowjob can get into your head and fill it with guilt. I've cheated, and it ate me up enough that I told her about it. Do you believe you'd be able to live with the consequences of a secret weekend?

Another thing to consider . . . What happens if the people you pick for your weekend can't keep their mouth shut? The worst case scenario is him finding out about it due to someone else.
 
TT,

It has been a while since posting on your thread so bear with me. You seem to be asking for advice from people, no matter how well intentioned (including me), don't know you personally or at least for a long time. To me this shows you really aren't ready to make a serious commitment to anyone. If you were ready for that you wouldn't need help from casual acquaintances.

Everyone here has experienced the same doubts you have now. I think those who waited until they knew for sure showed more mature judgment. And, I don't mean that in a bad way.

Take your time. No need to rush one way or another. In time you might want to settle down, or experiment more. Only you can really answer that.
 
Lots of good advice on your new dilemma.

Thought I'd chip in my two cents... which probably isn't worth what I'm charging for it. :p

It's always been my perspective that people (in general more than specific) have to determine just how important their own sexuality is to them in regards to a relationship.

Any relationship, "romantic" or otherwise, is going to involve compromise. That's a given. We also each have things we are NOT willing to compromise about.

The question I would encourage you, or anyone, to ask themselves is just where on this continuum the dilemma of sexual experiences falls?

However, let me turn your dilemma back upon itself for a moment and ask you the same three questions, rephrased slightly.

1) If these new experiences that you crave are that alluring, can you be happy leaving them as unexplored fantasies to continue with your current partner?

2) If you did break up with your current partner to pursue these fantasies, how do you know they would be fulfilled?

3) Assuming you found a way to have your cake and eat it too, how would you feel if Kevin did the same? Perhaps indulged in his lifelong fantasy of a foursome with a charming blonde, brunette, and redhead (professional cheerleaders of course) on a secret weekend getaway?

And as the coda, I ask one final question in rephrase of my earlier one.

How happy/miserable could you be not fulfilling a given sexual fantasy?

I'm sorry I couldn't give a clear "answer". But, I think in about forty years or so, you'll see that I really was trying to help you find the one, the answer and regret, you could live with.
 
Have you concidered?

tiny_tits said:
But I don't feel like I'm progressing that much- which is why I'm here.
Click to expand...
Have you considered taking stripping lessons, or pole dancing class foe couples?? all female class lead by an instructor for woman to gain confidence, and exercise?? Giving Kevin a hall pass, which is also for you so you c both take a week or two to explore your fantacys apart, be true to yourself's and as a couple without breaking any confidences or hurting your relationship? You both take an agreed apon break and come back together, without remorse, no regrets, no "cheating" involved? I have no idea of what he want's to do <or you, well kind of I read ur thread> don't need to know what what these things are, but you both can do what you need to do, and still have a relationship of trust when the timer sounds. You could get the movie "hall Pass" and watch it as a couples nite, and sound him out on this, no pressure, and see a good movie. If be buck's, then you have the original problem, if a conversation starts, you breached the subject without starting a argument. Just a thought, hun.
 
A professional in the public business life.

A slut in the bedroom.

Just divorce the two in your mind.
 
tiny_tits said:
So my new dilemma is this:
There are things I want to experience sexually that won't happen with Kevin.
Talked about it with him, no go.
But I really really like (love?) being with him.
Do I:
(1) Forget the new experiences, stay with my man?
(2) Break up with Kevin and fulfill my fantasies?
(3) Have a secret weekend and don't tell him (yes... cheat)?
Click to expand...

Answer this...Which is more important to you, Kevin or the fantasies???
If you can honestly answer that your dilemma is solved.
 
tiny_tits said:
So my new dilemma is this:
There are things I want to experience sexually that won't happen with Kevin.
Talked about it with him, no go.
But I really really like (love?) being with him.
Do I:
(1) Forget the new experiences, stay with my man?
(2) Break up with Kevin and fulfill my fantasies?
(3) Have a secret weekend and don't tell him (yes... cheat)?
Click to expand...

Anything but 3. Search your heart, If you feel Kevin is a long haul guy go with one. If you feel you'd rather sow your wild pats, then 2. 3 is a bad choice...guilt can eat at you, and trust is #1 in any relationship. If you cheat and he finds out at any point in time, damage is inevitable. It sucks you're in this position,but we all have to make shitty choices.
 
Reading back, you were so excited about that first night you met Kevin just from the feel of your arms or legs brushing on the sofa..
the excitement led to some "firsts" - it's all very exciting.

The thing with relationships is.. they all eventually lose the excitement of "firsts" and you need to find things you appreciate that are more meaningful (and often more sexually fulfilling) than the hunt for the next big adventure. To walk that path with someone takes trust and patience. You seem to be in love with falling in love and only you can decide if your current relationship is fulfilling enough to deserve your entire focus.
 
Wow.
First, a sincere thanks to all of you.
Each reply was deeply heartfelt, a few even tearjerkers.

General consensus is
(1) best option until a definite decision is made
(2) only if (1) cannot be maintained
(3) slap yo face bitch ;)

:rose::kiss::rose:
 
I think the correct response to option 3 is 'only if you spend that weekend with me'. :rolleyes:
 
Speaking of cheating, do you think it is cheating to post naked pics and discuss my sex life here without his knowledge?

Or, again, are there degrees of cheating?
 
tiny_tits said:
Speaking of cheating, do you think it is cheating to post naked pics and discuss my sex life here without his knowledge?

Or, again, are there degrees of cheating?
Click to expand...

Might not be 100% acceptable to everyone but a lesser event then going off and having another man. Another woman would be lesser in my opinion.
 
tiny_tits said:
So my new dilemma is this:
There are things I want to experience sexually that won't happen with Kevin.
Talked about it with him, no go.
But I really really like (love?) being with him.
Do I:
(1) Forget the new experiences, stay with my man?
(2) Break up with Kevin and fulfill my fantasies?
(3) Have a secret weekend and don't tell him (yes... cheat)?
Click to expand...

Did you get PM...my wife added."just take control if like most older men they will pick up the fun and enjoy"
 
tiny_tits said:
So my new dilemma is this:
There are things I want to experience sexually that won't happen with Kevin.
Talked about it with him, no go.
But I really really like (love?) being with him.
Do I:
(1) Forget the new experiences, stay with my man?
(2) Break up with Kevin and fulfill my fantasies?
(3) Have a secret weekend and don't tell him (yes... cheat)?
Click to expand...

If you really love him, doing this, whatever it is, will be something that you will probably regret. If you really don't love him, go for it...but I would at least break up with him first. My two cents...
 
tiny_tits said:
Speaking of cheating, do you think it is cheating to post naked pics and discuss my sex life here without his knowledge?

Or, again, are there degrees of cheating?
Click to expand...

Yes and no...but ultimately, I think if you're getting some kind of emotional fulfillment from doing this, or sexual, that you're not getting from Kevin, then yes it is...or if you're getting off here rather than having sex with him, then yes it is cheating.
 
sexywriterfla said:
Yes and no...but ultimately, I think if you're getting some kind of emotional fulfillment from doing this, or sexual, that you're not getting from Kevin, then yes it is...or if you're getting off here rather than having sex with him, then yes it is cheating.
Click to expand...

He probably wouldn't have even met me if I never found and posted on Lit.
I would still be sulking back in Dallas.

<rationalization much?:rolleyes:>
 
sexywriterfla said:
Yes and no...but ultimately, I think if you're getting some kind of emotional fulfillment from doing this, or sexual, that you're not getting from Kevin, then yes it is...or if you're getting off here rather than having sex with him, then yes it is cheating.
Click to expand...

Let's break that down.
I get emotional fulfillment from being able to discuss anything, no matter how bad, and not keep it bottled up. Can I do that with K? No, but nobody IRL either.

Get off sexually? Hells yea! But not 'rather than him'.

But probably the bigger point...
Keeping a part of my life a secret from him? (Posting my issues and naked pics here)
Guilty.
 
tiny_tits said:
He probably wouldn't have even met me if I never found and posted on Lit.
I would still be sulking back in Dallas.

<rationalization much?:rolleyes:>
Click to expand...

Perhaps...it is always interesting when you consider how certain things lead us one way down a path, as opposed to another...but I get how you feel, TT. No one particularly digs keeping secrets. I can relate, in a sense...
 
tiny_tits said:
Let's break that down.
I get emotional fulfillment from being able to discuss anything, no matter how bad, and not keep it bottled up. Can I do that with K? No, but nobody IRL either.

Get off sexually? Hells yea! But not 'rather than him'.

But probably the bigger point...
Keeping a part of my life a secret from him? (Posting my issues and naked pics here)
Guilty.
Click to expand...

Okay, which is what I figured...and it makes sense, your reasoning. You have to either live with the guilt...or not. There isn't really another option.
 
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