And the Bitch is gone....an exercise in writing.

The crossroads... Each direction leads to a different place.

North leads through a snowy forest - I don't need external cold: my heart is already frozen.

East leads to a busy city street - I really cannot face other people yet.

West leads to a deserted village - that's the way I've come!

South leads to the ocean; the limitless, heaving ocean; so huge that it can dwarf my own tragedy - and across it there may be a new life.

So South it must be. I have no other choice!

I turn right, dragging aching limbs to take me forward.

Night falls. Night? But it was evening when I returned to the village, finding it deserted; at least, inhabited only by corpses and ghosts, already tainted by the faint, sickly sweet smell of decay.

That's right: I'd spent the hours of darkness searching for survivors, then, when I'd visited every building and found that there were none, trying to dig a grave for my family, for my neighbours. I'd swung the pick, wielded the shovel until dawn. Daylight showed me how pathetic my efforts had been. Despite a red hot ache in my back and the scald of burst blisters on my hands the hole I'd dug wouldn't hold even my own loved ones.

I don't remember much of the time following my realisation of how pathetic my labours had been.

Until the crossroads.

Now, my eyes keep closing; my feet tricking me as they hit the ground.

Fuck! The ground was hard as it came up to meet me. I must sleep. I turn from the roadway and curl into a foetal position under the hedge.

...

Morning.

Stiff with cold, I awake to find the sun in my eyes. I'm still in shock, but the sun's rays are warm. There's a ditch. Why hadn't I fallen into it? My shoes witnessed that I hadn't escaped the mud, but providence...

Providence? After what I'd seen? No, sheer blind luck had been my saviour!

But the ditch does have running water. I carefully cup some in my hands and lift it to my lips. It tastes faintly of mud. It tastes like nectar.

A breeze blows gently in my face as I start to walk. A soft breeze that is so different to the wind from the North. I bend once more to the ditch and splash water on my face.

I'll never be the same again, but as the breeze dries me and the sun warms me, I start to walk South again...

Fifty5, loved it.......the whole feel of it, thank you.

ABSTRUSE said:

Fifty5, loved it.......the whole feel of it, thank you.

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Thank you.

This was the first time (I think) that I've used the present tense; which kept me on my toes trying to make the tenses right - present for a continuously changing 'now', with past for the memories (some of which happen after the story starts, so would have been in the future during para 1).

I also enjoyed getting a narative to work (I thought it did - and you seem to agree), despite leaving out ALL the significant info: how/why the masacre happened; wtf is going to happen next; who the hell is this guy; why didn't he die too; and how come he's able to simply walk away without doing anything at all about a village full of dead people?

It was fun.

I've also enjoyed reading all the other submissions - some upbeat, others downbeat, and ranging from fantastical to realistic.

Thanks again, Abs.

fifty5 said:

Thank you.

This was the first time (I think) that I've used the present tense; which kept me on my toes trying to make the tenses right - present for a continuously changing 'now', with past for the memories (some of which happen after the story starts, so would have been in the future during para 1).

I also enjoyed getting a narative to work (I thought it did - and you seem to agree), despite leaving out ALL the significant info: how/why the masacre happened; wtf is going to happen next; who the hell is this guy; why didn't he die too; and how come he's able to simply walk away without doing anything at all about a village full of dead people?

It was fun.

I've also enjoyed reading all the other submissions - some upbeat, others downbeat, and ranging from fantastical to realistic.

Thanks again, Abs.

Click to expand...

Thank you for contributing.
I think the deserted village gave us the chance to write that air of mystery...giving us the ability to make the reader question what is going on and wanting to know more...like a flytrap almost.
It was a stretch for me, each scenerio changed as I approached the writing.
Plus now I have ideas that will spring from the bits I've posted here.

Thanks again to all.

The crunch beneath my boots was mesmerizing as I trudged through the woods, pulling my sled behind me. I loved the grinding sound of snow compacting beneath my weight and chose my path according to which drifts I thought would accomodate my silly love for the noise. I wondered for the millionth time just what it was about the snow that had the ability to reduce me to a child every time I got out in it, smiling as I passed an untouched drift just made for tunneling. Memories of my childhood suddenly seemed lacking in the face of such beauty and utter fun as I scanned the snow covered forest floor. Sure, growing up in the south had its perks, but there was definitely something to be said for two feet of fresh powder whether you were eight or eighty.

Remembering my past brought a wide smile to my lips when I thought of what had brought me here. The life-changing event that pointed me North and happened to be what had me tromping that very direction just now, was just over the next hill. My lungs ached with the cold and pins and needles attacked my feet without mercy, but I couldn't help but stop. The silence that descended upon the forest as my feet grew still was so complete it gave the impression of sudden deafness. Was it possible for silence to have an edge? Possible for it to be sharp? I didn't know, but that's how it seemed to me tonight.

The only movement I could detect was the thick white cloud of my warm breath on the frigid night air. The moon was full, casting a stark white light on the bare trees surrounding me. Tall, black structures, skeletal in form but not frightening in the least, reached for the midnight sky. Snow-laden branches stood out, proud and strong with their purpose, portraying a strangely regal posture even in their nudity. I looked as far as my neck would allow on either side, remaining still so as not to break the spell of silence.

Pristine in its smooth surface, the snow was more than a blanket. It was a complete landscape, unique from day to day, but never any less permanent in my eyes. Funny that, as it changed behind me with every step I took on my trek to the North. Huh, I mused, I think I've been out here too long. My brain has frozen in some peculiar philosophical phase.

A strong smell filled my nose just then, causing me to snap my head up and squint in the direction of the hill. I actually turned so fast I almost lost my balance and fell. Perhaps it was because the forest seemed such a black hole for the senses that the aroma of wood-smoke nearly sent me reeling, but it affected me the way a stout sniff of smelling salts would have.

Romance. The first thing that came to mind every time I smelled wood-smoke was romance and a disturbingly clear image of a roaring fire overtook the gleaming snow-covered hill. Well, it took over until a heavy shiver wiggled its way down my body. Tightening my grip on the rope, I began again, breaking the silence with the zwip-zwip-zwip sound of my coat and the comforting crunch beneath my boots.

Every step up the hill brought a pulsing burn to my leg muscles, but I barely noticed as my excitement mounted. Over this hill was the one and only thing that could get me to smile about heading North. Almost there, I thought as my boots climbed ever higher, bringing my eyes within feet of cresting the hill standing between me and my North Star. It was an affectionate term I'd used before but found very fitting tonight.

I was almost there. Just two more steps and I could almost see the light, almost feel the heat that awaited me on the other side. I took a deep breath and could feel the beginnings of a smile as I took the final step, granting my eyes access to the shadowy roof line of a quaint little cottage. My next step revealed a soft orange glow through the front windows and I felt the urge to run. Anxious for the quick descent, I stepped forward but before my boot reached its footing on the downward slope a sudden sting of cold wetness blasted my face.

I yelped and reached up as though I'd been slapped, losing the visual on my next step and consequently tumbling head over heels down the hill. Damn! I thought. What the f... and then I heard it. The deep belly laugh of someone getting even in grand fashion broke the silence of the night and I knew exactly what had happened. Lying in a heap, covered in snow at the bottom of the hill, I shouted.

Vella!!!

The laughter rapidly grew louder and before I knew it, she was upon me. Not just kneeling beside me or offering to help me up, but falling atop me still laughing like a maniac. I wanted to be mad. I wanted to shake her and tell her that my face felt like it was covered in burning acid and that she was responsible. I wanted to piss and moan that snowball ambushes really sucked, but I never said a word.

I didn't get the chance. Blinded by the light of my North Star, I was capable of doing nothing more than returning her kiss. It was for the best. Nothing heals a stinging face and stinging pride like a kiss from the other half of your soul.

Oh, Lucky, that was lovely.

lucky-E-leven said:

... like a kiss from the other half of your soul.

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Oh, SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO true! TY, Lucky!

huge sappy smiles so early on a monday morning..
i loved it, gorgeous.

Lucky, that was awesome!!!!
You've captured the whole thing perfectly!
Thank you.


anymore folks???

bump and taunt

Lucky...

What Vella said!

*bump* just because it's worth it.

I find it interesting that the folks that whine about the AH not being "literary" enough seldom participate in any writing exercises or challenges that their fellow authors post.

One of those things that makes you go, "hmmm..."

Sherry Hawk said:

*bump* just because it's worth it.

I find it interesting that the folks that whine about the AH not being "literary" enough seldom participate in any writing exercises or challenges that their fellow authors post.

One of those things that makes you go, "hmmm..."

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Quite so, quite so.

Direction of bump: North.

shereads said:

Direction of bump: North.

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Isn't there a 750 word minimum?

minsue said:

Isn't there a 750 word minimum?

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It's more of a guideline than a rule.

cheerful_deviant said:

It's more of a guideline than a rule.

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minsue said:

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Min, is that Peking Duck you're making? I like it crispy too, but only on the outside.

He squinted at the immense snowy plains that stretched the horizon. The scenery was so peaceful that he wished he could stay here forever, yet he knew all too well that familiar itch in his legs that was telling him it was time to move on. But where should he go?

The voice of the prophet rang in his head:
“North leads through a snowy forest.
East leads to a busy city street.
West leads to a deserted village.
South leads to the ocean.”

He didn’t question the hidden meaning of these words as he was trying hard to make a choice. Suddenly a light flashed through his mind.

“Silly prophet” he said to himself. “At the north pole” he mused, “all directions lead south”.

*****
-J

Bumping for newbies...

Anyone remember this dinosaur?

I lost the writings I had put here in the crash, so I came in search of and started reading back through.

I loved reading everyones pieces and I was so in awe when I saw Sher and Min post a story, made my day.

Everyone had so many great interpretations and feelings so I thought I would bump it again for the newbies who may want to be in a no vote, no strings attached writing exercise.

Not sure if the voice thread challenge is still going to continue. (my apologies to Black Shanglan for non participation as it was the week my computer was suicidal)

I hoping someone will continue and some who have done previous stories will do some more.

So smack your muse and send us a bit.

Abs.

cheerful_deviant said:

I just had a ZORK flashback!

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MUD anyone?

VA

Since we are reviving the dead, for the newbies.

Oooo ... this is the one that resulted in San Diego Sunset!

impressive said:

Oooo ... this is the one that resulted in San Diego Sunset!

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Woohoo, now do another!