Isolated Blurt Thread

My FIL is in the hospital yet again. He had fluid in his stomach; he's been having fluid retention issues. They're keeping him overnight, running tests, etc. I feel bad for Mr. Penn; this has been ongoing with his dad for a while now and it's stressful for him not to be able to do anything.

I'm sure a lot of you know the feeling, I know we're hardly unique in having parents who need care.

PennLady said:

My FIL is in the hospital yet again. He had fluid in his stomach; he's been having fluid retention issues. They're keeping him overnight, running tests, etc. I feel bad for Mr. Penn; this has been ongoing with his dad for a while now and it's stressful for him not to be able to do anything.

I'm sure a lot of you know the feeling, I know we're hardly unique in having parents who need care.

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I really know that feeling. It's very stressful for all of you. Big hugs.

Thank you guys for the supportive words on the line manageress. I didn't manage to come back and say thank you properly, although I did read them and was cheered.

Well, I had an email from Senor Manager (as Shea calls him) and he asked if he could phone me, which was a bit ... as I wasn't one of the lecturers who had complained! So I sold Miss Thing down the river, including revealing that she had casually asked the most junior of our colleagues to take over managing the following weekend's teaching at six days' notice, in exchange for some of her teaching hours (although subsequently it emerged that owing to our telling the junior thing last year she must not sell herself short, she had stuck out for some proper payment to do it).

Next day we had a sad little email from the line manageress saying She had heard there were some issues with the day. She would be around for a couple of days, would anyone be willing to meet? She would do coffee? And cakes? I replied (copying all in) attempting to explain that to run a Day School requires that you get people together to discuss what they are all going to teach. Email from colleague saying Hear Hear. Email from Manageress saying: But I asked you all to fill in a form.

Gah, I despair.

Meanwhile I tootled over to Bristol (this is for a different and much better management team) in high winds, the Severn Bridge was shut so it was as well that I planned to take the train anyway. Mine was the only line out of Cardiff that was open as far as I could see! Cardiff - London: flooded, Cardiff - Swansea: knocked out, Cardiff - Valleys: impassible. Take Naoko to have biscuits with eager students keen to know all about the social sciences: Get That Train On the Move, Clear the fallen leaf off the track, go go go!

So-o-o I am going to email the Line Manageress again, offer to meet her for coffee - and cakes (she better be paying!). I will explain in words of one syllable that management is not about occasionally dropping in to get people to fill in a form; it's about enabling highly skilled professionals to do our effing job! Sometimes I thought I wouldn't bother. Everyone-else is keeping their head down and just having a good bitch when the LM is out of earshot. But I know that we all suffer from wondering what fabulous nonsense she will come up with next. Our families all suffer as we stress out on them. Her family probably suffers when we lash out at her. Maybe maybe, talking to her would get rid of all that stress! and we could all be happy bunnies dancing in the meadows of academe! Ha ha ha. I suppose it's worth one last effort. (Grumble grumble.)

thank you for your kind support, guys. I really appreciate it.

NaokoSmith said:

... I will explain in words of one syllable that management is not about occasionally dropping in to get people to fill in a form; it's about enabling highly skilled professionals to do our effing job!...

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I am currently involved with setting up yet another community group in our town. I'm trying to stay on the sidelines as an available resource, not as a lead person, but I wrote their constitution and rules of conduct for them within 24 hours of being asked.

We had a discussion about how to manage and appreciate volunteers, how to attract the good and how to deter the useless.

I offered the suggestion that we should talk to those running our local charity shops. Some are brilliant at managing volunteers and provide good training, great support and the volunteers are happy, willing and hard-working. Others are useless at it. They have volunteers but actually getting them to do anything is difficult.

There is one that is appalling. It isn't the quality of the volunteers. Some of them are great, particularly those who do the window displays and the stock placement. But typically they have a dozen volunteers when they are open yet no one is on the till to take money.

They are all downstairs supposedly sorting the donated stock = saving the best for themselves and their extended families, and drinking multiple cups of coffee while they treat the place as a social gathering place. If a customer wants to actually buy an item they have to shout downstairs to get someone to come to the till. Anyone who comes is usually grumbling about being taken away from their friends' conversation. The customer's impression is always that they are distracting the volunteers from something more important than taking money.

Yet that charity shop has a full-time paid manageress. She is always downstairs with the coffee drinkers.

There is another charity shop that seems to run with one woman and a dog. If she isn't by the till, and doesn't come when a customer approaches, the dog will give a short discreet bark, and she appears smiling, to pat the dog and deal with the customer.

The charity bookshop, that I support as a back-room volunteer to price any books that the others aren't expert enough to value, is well run, is a happy place to work, and outperforms similar charity outlets.

It has had a few problems with volunteers.

There was one man who wanted to 'manage' everybody and would contradict the manager, rearrange shifts without consultation, disagree with almost anything and act as if he owned the shop. Although he did have useful skills, his attitude and actions poisoned the atmosphere. He was asked to leave.

There was a woman who has learning difficulties who wanted to volunteer. She was accepted for a trial. She enjoys working in the shop but cannot use the till because it is beyond her capabilities. She is happy helping with the things that she can do such as reordering books in alphabetical order when a customer has put them back in the wrong place, but she needs another till-trained volunteer with her. She cannot deal with any complex customer query beyond 'Where are the travel books'. But she is helping, her help is appreciated, and she enjoys being there - as do all the volunteers.

To get volunteers working together happily, cooperating, recognising that each has different strengths, and appreciating the work they do - takes management and participation. The manager is decades younger than most of the volunteers but is wise enough to realise that asking the volunteers about any problem is likely to produce a number of solutions from years of experience.

Managing specialists, experts, sesssional lecturers - is nearly as difficult as managing volunteers. The manager needs to be there, to listen, to ask for proposed solutions and consider openly which is best before deciding a way forward. If that way isn't working, the manager has to react, reconsider, adapt... It is a continuing and never ending process and it can only work with the co-operation of those managed. Those managed should know that the manager is doing their job, that their activities HELP those managed to achieve the goals of the organisation, and that the manager is defending their backs from unjust criticism.

If a manager isn't getting the results with the willing cooperation of those they manage, or the results are achieved despite the manager, they aren't doing their job.

It strikes me sometimes that the Myth of Management is that it Exists.

oggbashan said:

...
The manager needs to be there, to listen, to ask for proposed solutions and consider openly which is best before deciding a way forward. If that way isn't working, the manager has to react, reconsider, adapt... It is a continuing and never ending process and it can only work with the co-operation of those managed. Those managed should know that the manager is doing their job, that their activities HELP those managed to achieve the goals of the organisation, and that the manager is defending their backs from unjust criticism.

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Handley_Page said:

It strikes me sometimes that the Myth of Management is that it Exists.

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You could be right. I think it's about trust. Do you trust people to do a good job? If so, you talk to them about it and see what they need to get on with that job and give it to them. If not, you get them to fill in forms to show that you are doing a good job managing and they are the ones cacking it up.

In fact, the whole of academia is badly managed. Currently they are all obsessed with the Student Satisfaction Surveys - forms gone mad. They go and ask a lot of teenagers how they feel about the teaching they are experiencing - and bear in mind that these young inexperienced people have no knowledge of how any other university teaches by which to compare what they think about their own degree.

University managers do not look at the pass rates on their degree programmes - which surely is the ultimate proof of whether students are being taught well.

NaokoSmith said:

I really know that feeling. It's very stressful for all of you. Big hugs.

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Thanks. I get more stressed out on my husband's behalf, I think. He feels helpless that he can't be there doing anything, and I feel helpless because there's not much I can do to help him.

Handley_Page said:

It strikes me sometimes that the Myth of Management is that it Exists.

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It exists, but like Common Sense, it is rare, not common.

On the upside, they now know what my FIL has. On the downside, it's a bacterial infection called Clostridium difficile, or cdiff. Not sure what this means in terms of treatment, although it can be treated (at least according to wikipedia). Sigh.

PennLady said:

On the upside, they now know what my FIL has. On the downside, it's a bacterial infection called Clostridium difficile, or cdiff. Not sure what this means in terms of treatment, although it can be treated (at least according to wikipedia). Sigh.

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Well, that sounds encouraging. Anything which does not come over as a sentence of Death has to be beneficial (I speak as one who's been 'pretty close'). I hope all goes well with you all.

Handley_Page said:

Well, that sounds encouraging. Anything which does not come over as a sentence of Death has to be beneficial (I speak as one who's been 'pretty close'). I hope all goes well with you all.

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Thanks, HP. It's not going so well, though. We just spoke with my husband's oldest sister. She said essentially their father has congestive heart failure, and his liver and kidneys may be failing as well. Now, some of this may reverse a bit if they can treat the cdiff infection, but it's too early to tell. She also worries that my MIL may have this condition as well. I gather it's contagious and she has health issues as well so I imagine is at risk. OTOH, I don't think she was taking antibiotics, so that would cut one risk factor.

Thanks again, though, for the good wishes.

PennLady said:

Thanks, HP. It's not going so well, though. We just spoke with my husband's oldest sister. She said essentially their father has congestive heart failure, and his liver and kidneys may be failing as well. Now, some of this may reverse a bit if they can treat the cdiff infection, but it's too early to tell. She also worries that my MIL may have this condition as well. I gather it's contagious and she has health issues as well so I imagine is at risk. OTOH, I don't think she was taking antibiotics, so that would cut one risk factor.

Thanks again, though, for the good wishes.

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Keeping you in good thoughts.

johneb87 said:

Keeping you in good thoughts.

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Thanks, John. It's much appreciated. It's an odd situation where you want all the info you can get, but we're not in a position to do anything about or with the info.

On a lighter note....I may need to be carried home.

PennLady said:

Thanks, HP. It's not going so well, though. We just spoke with my husband's oldest sister. She said essentially their father has congestive heart failure, and his liver and kidneys may be failing as well. OTOH, I don't think she was taking antibiotics, so that would cut one risk factor.

Thanks again, though, for the good wishes.

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Fingers Crossed, PL.

PennLady said:

On the upside, they now know what my FIL has. On the downside, it's a bacterial infection called Clostridium difficile, or cdiff. Not sure what this means in terms of treatment, although it can be treated (at least according to wikipedia). Sigh.

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I know cdiff. Get him eating bananas on top of everything else if you can. There are only two antibiotics that kind of work for it. I am serious about bananas it seems to help the toxins not stick. Good luck! Cdiff is usually caught in hospitals. It seems to love alcohol hand cleaners so if you visit him wash your hands with soap and water.

Busy, busy day. Finished halter breaking a yearling heifer for class, took a delivery of a couple tons of hay, and moving firewood around. Loving this warm weather though!

JagFarlane said:

Busy, busy day. Finished halter breaking a yearling heifer for class, took a delivery of a couple tons of hay, and moving firewood around. Loving this warm weather though!

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You'll be needing some rain, I'm thinkin'.
Come and collect all you need.

Handley_Page said:

You'll be needing some rain, I'm thinkin'.
Come and collect all you need.

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Oh no no no lol. We got hit with the big snow storm and just had rain the last few mornings. The mud's quite thick here and since it's mostly clay it's got some good suction. Good enough that I came home last night to a horse missing a shoe cause the mud sucked it off him.

This is the never ending job.

Noor said:

I know cdiff. Get him eating bananas on top of everything else if you can. There are only two antibiotics that kind of work for it. I am serious about bananas it seems to help the toxins not stick. Good luck! Cdiff is usually caught in hospitals. It seems to love alcohol hand cleaners so if you visit him wash your hands with soap and water.

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Thanks, Noor. I can mention that, but it's hard enough to get him (or my MIL) to eat or drink as it is. Interesting note about the sanitary hand gels. Not sure we'll be visiting, as they're a few states and five hours away, but that'll be handy to know.

Ye gods; it's stopped raining!

Handley_Page said:

Ye gods; it's stopped raining!

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Yay!

We have sun and warmer temperatures, and hence a lot of melting snow. Which is requiring some bailing of our sump pump but not much else.

Oh boy, totally unprepared to host a party at the moment.

johneb87 said:

Oh boy, totally unprepared to host a party at the moment.

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Tell everybody to bring something, then it's potluck and less work for you.