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Old 10-27-2010, 12:21 AM   #1
Elaya
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How to.. better Sex! :) Help?

So.. scrolling through the beyond lovely blank manual.. which I've spent some hours with and looking forward to many more.. I see many lovely topics.

In depth on Oral of all types.. anal.. massage.. advice.. relationships.. breasts nipples ect... but ..
I'm looking for threads on the actual physical act of sex...making it better, more interesting. And I'm not meaning.. spicing it up with kink, or lubes.. or toys.. or.. trying new positions.. I mean.. during the old in out. Plain old vanilla sex, (or doggy in some cases mentioned below) man on top, and go from there. What is it you DO, or have done to you, during sex that makes it mind blowing? What things have set some partners above others that you enjoyed? The way someone moves.. but HOW is that someone moving different from another?

I, as a woman, want to know how to make it feel even better (for both parties) than.. here ya go.. "insert here and move". I especially would like to know what to do with hands! How to better use them? Guys, where do you like your womens hands? Are you even aware of them? (this might need it's own thread... )

I'll start off with the few things that I can think of that are ..well "action", besides lying on my back and taking it. Please add your thoughts and experiences!

I guess, my real request as you read this, is I'm interested in how to make it better for him, while the main action is going on. I'm curious as what others do.. what do you do with your hands? Aside from occasionally move them around their body.. pinch a nipple now and then.. rub neck/ear/hair... squeeze arm... .. I dunno. It just seems.. so.. kiddie play. Time to grow up?

Here's the few things I've figured out:

1. I don't lie flat on my back without moving, I have always kinda done the reverse of what the guy does.. rising up the meet his thrust with my pelvis, and pulling back. Is this common? Show of hands for anyone else that does this? Have variations? Or some other way of moving?

2. Thinking on this topic the other night.. I remember perhaps two instances with one guy, many years ago.. he was a bit longer than average, so I'm guessing this helped, but both in vanilla and in doggy, he somehow seemed to focus, perhaps by angling his thrusts, the "shaft rubbing" on a specific "tunnel wall" for a very good number of strokes repeatedly, either top/bottom/left/right. I remember that this was *fabulous*, and each wall/side felt completely different with concentrated direct pressure. I wouldn't have noticed it if it had been for just half a minute.. but the build up on one side.. was lovely! Entirely different type of orgasm. And I could feel him so much better.. when most of the time most women will say you don't feel much once it's in there.. it's the knocking that's going on at the front door with each thrust, the in and out right at the opening nerves, and the grinding action the clit and to some extent the labia sees, that is making her pant and moan. At least in my case. I wonder if it was because he'd found a certain.. ridge or something.. like scratching your back on that one spot on the tree... I had all but forgotten that experience, I"m glad I remembered it.

3. Pelvic Grind. Pubic bone to clit. Oh laa laa. I'm sure everyone does this one.

4. Kegels. I'm just starting to play with this. Aside from the fact that they exist, and you can clench/unclench, how do you use them? And how on earth do you focus on using them when your busy being pleasured? Do you make up squeezing rythyms? Or just keep em clenched the whole time? In my limited experience, I must wholly use my brain to make any use of them. Guys?? Have you had them used on you? In any particularly great fashion? Does it feel best on the push/thrust or the pull? Or having to push into tightened Kegels??

5. Teasing thrusts: this is a more at the gates thing: So you've done all your fooling around.. all the foreplay.. and now it's time to go deeper! I don't just rush into this.. I like the entrance of my super sensitive by now vag. to be teased with the tip of his cock.. tracing the opening as a finger would a circle, with light, then harder pressure. Do this a few times, and slowly, a second or two, put the first 1/2 inch in.. just so you can feel the stretch/tease... then back out, more tracing, or thrusting between my thighs, hitting the external anal nerves (not entering), then back to the opening, going perhaps 1 - 1.5 inches this time..maybe on the second lap add maybe two or three, no more mini thrusts with just the tip, same game.. few short teasing thrusts.. then back out...trace.. tease.. third and fourth time, little by little.. final time.. 2 or 3 partial thrusts.. again.. still teasing just the opening.. the nerves of the labia have been most ignores and a crying for attention.. so on now after 2 or 3 more teasing thrusts using no more than half the length, and the womans is next to screaming/begging for it, the final thrust goes in deep and strong... like a shock, and almost pauses a second or two once finally fully sheathed. Start your game off that way.. the rest has to be great! It's also nice to return to this technique somewhere in the middle of play as well.. I just love to be teased this way.

6. Pulling out at some point to rub the tip of cock hard, or very lightly, or alter, against clit. tracing it along the upper edge, down past the super sensitive peak to the underside.. back and forth. Though the downward stroke for me is much more powerful. I imaging that this is what equates to running fingers/tongue/lips over the sulcus on a man. I LOVE cock tip/meatus/clit contact.. there's rarely enough of that! Then again, there can only be so much as it's super sensitive.

7. Other random activities: bellies rubbing/touching, holding hands fingers interlaced, holding down upper arms, occasionally massaging/pinching/nipping/nipples, kissing, massaging head/neck/ears, kissing indent of throat,

8. Full deep thrust, so that his groin and balls makes full contact with labia ect.. no nerves left out! Inside is taken care of.. clit gets a nice grind and upwards push (that's a nice one.. using the guys groin to push down and UP on the clit/mons.. kinda like a plane coming in for landing, hitting the tarmack, and driving, skidding forward, pulling the flesh with it.

9. Pulling out for a few hard cock rubs along the t'aint/anus (but not in!).. switches up the nerves.. gives momentary rest/to the insides.. and excites the new areas. Actually, for those of you hoping to explore anus play, this would help bring awareness to the fact that there are some very nice nerves up there. Perhaps after a few months of this.. and her being comfortable that you're not trying to back door her... (yet.. don't mention it) after a few months, and awakened anus nerves.. you may find that she might ask about it, or be more open to a finger massage.. and again after a few months of that.. hey you never know.

K. So. That's it. I need more! I'm going to make another thread for making out.. cause I need some ideas/advice for that as well.... If I've forgotten anything.. I'll be adding it later.

Last edited by Elaya : 10-27-2010 at 08:55 PM.
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Old 10-27-2010, 03:12 AM   #2
SweetErika
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Honestly, I don't think about it that much at all. If we were breaking it down into the minutiae that you are, I doubt either of us would enjoy ourselves very much. Instead, we focus on enjoying what we're actually doing, and yeah, we try to spice up our time together with different activities (vs. questing to improve one act or a couple of basics ad nauseum).

Is it possible you're overthinking this to the extreme? It seems like you've already thought of/done many variations, so maybe you'd find more pleasure in such a basic act by just relaxing and going with what feels good at the time, rather than obsessing over whether or not there are other things you can change to make it better for your partner? Or is it possible your time would be better spent on figuring out how to spice your sex life up, rather than planning out missionary sex?

Are you actually looking for advice, or did you more intend to write a guide for others (your post reads like the latter, IMHO)?
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Old 10-27-2010, 03:43 AM   #3
NippleMuncher
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The fact that you're a responsive partner means a whole lot, at least to me it does. Nothing kills my mood more than a dead fish, if you know what I mean.

Having said that, when I'm doing the work, I try to switch things up, playing with all the right buttons and knobs, as it were, to give her the best experience I can, and hopefully give her that ever so coveted orgasm. What I'm looking for in response is that what I'm doing is pleasing to her, through body movement, or vocal and facial cues. The occasional feedback outside of the bedroom helps to improve my techniques.

When she's doing the work, I'm more focused on what I need to achieve the ever so coveted orgasm, so I'm watching her, massaging her breasts, playing with her hair, whatever the situation allows. By returning her thrusts, I can control my longevity to a certain degree, making both of our experiences better, but still, my focus is on my own pleasure, so there's not a whole lot of outside thinking or distraction going on. Again, feedback outside of the bedroom improves techniques of both parties.
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Old 10-27-2010, 09:09 PM   #4
Elaya
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Hi SweetErika,

I don't really worry about it at all during the act.. I've just been thinking about sex a lot lately. And to some extent, I am worries about being the dead fish. Or.. getting into a boring and predictable routine.. rub hair.. rub neck.. pinch nipple, kiss ear.... repeat.

When I started to read other topics, I wasnt' seeing much for during sex itself.. just.. other acts. I feel like.. I dunno. The act itself, without relying on different positions, or cuffs.. or anything.. I dunno, fancy, while nice.. is getting boring. I figure there HAS to be more out there that I havn't seen (actually very limited sexually.. but I do love to read about it! : ) )

So that's why I was asking. More things to play with. Again I don't really worry much about it in bed.. other than I do sometimes wonder if there was somehow I could be having/giving more enjoyment.

Sorry my post read like a manual.. it wasn't meant to. I guess I was hopping to show what it was I meant, what I was looking for, and hopefully get peoples creativity going? Or make them think about something they might not otherwise have thought about and post back with some ideas?
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Old 10-28-2010, 06:54 PM   #5
micky4play
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making it better

Hands are REALLY important...
A well executed handjob is heaven on earth...
Talk: "I like this....I want to do that..." 'course I'm a Gemini and I almost (ALMOST!) like talking about sex as much as having it
Enjoy yourself and express how much you're enjoying yourself - huge turn on
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Old 10-30-2010, 02:54 AM   #6
Vixandra
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Kegals can be very important. Especially if you're one of those women who can learn how to squeeze deep inside on purpose. It takes practice and can be a bit distracting if you're concentrating on it, but the look on his face is priceless.

Talk to your lover, communicate with them. Even it is as simple as, "I love how big you feel inside me!" If you're having to fight between gasps and moans to get the words out, all the better

I have issues with my hips, so while a position may be okay one day its painful the next. Some days its legs together with him holding onto them, other days it more standard missionary. Others we put a pillow beneath my hips to change the "approach angle" and that can do wonderful things.
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