Anal

So my girlfriend is not keen on the whole anal thing but I realllllly want to do it more.
Apparently we've done it once when we were both extremely drunk but I don't remember at all so don't really count it.
Is there a way to ease into it? Any tips or tricks that could lead to doing it or is it just one of those things that I'll rarely get to do

So...you reallly want to do something...that your girlfriend isn't into?

A lot of guys...especially if they find they are not a very snug fit....fancy a snug fit.

Have you considered going gay for pay?...Lots of money in it...and all the ass you can man-handle.

Cumudgeonly said:

Have you considered going gay for pay?...Lots of money in it...and all the ass you can man-handle.

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Gay friends tell me that there is a shortage of tops in their circles.

It's just one of those things you'll rarely get to do. So my first suggestion is, accept this. Give up your dream. Take yourself out of the equation.

Ready? Done it? Okay, now it's time to solve the problem.

Next step: talk to her about it. And even more than that, talk with her about it. Anything that two people can argue about, they can also agree upon. So take her side on it. Don't start from the point of, "I want to do this, but she won't let me;" start from the point of, "She doesn't want to, and we need to compromise from there." That's why you need to take yourself out of the equation: that way your little head isn't driving the conversation. With the big head--and more importantly, a big heart--firmly in charge, ask her why she doesn't want to do it, ask her how you can make her more comfortable with it, ask her how you could slowly work your way up to it. Be accepting and honest. And have her back, one hundred percent. Maybe that'll help you have her backside too, in time.

There's also something to be said for spontaneity. My lady and I started out with probably the three most common positions--me on top, her on top, and doggie. When we tried spooning, it was very much a deliberate thing that we wanted to work up to... but since then everything we've added to our repertoire ("speed bump", reverse cowlgirl, "bulldog") has been spur-of-the-moment, "Let's try this" ideas. You'll want to have the conversation with your girlfriend so that you know what she needs, but the actual implementation of that knowledge can be spontaneous. As a downside, she doesn't have time to prepare... but as an upside, she doesn't have time to dread it either. You'll want to play this by ear, as I don't know if your girlfriend is Type A or Type B, but the point is there's power in both. And the heat of the moment can sway things in your favor.

And the central point is this: don't make it something you ask of her. Make it something she gives to you.

What CWatson said!!!

Anal isn't about you and what you want, it is about your partner, her fears, her needs, her desires, and how YOU accommodate those things. In a word, communication.

Talk with her about it, listen to what she tells you. Be understanding. And, finally, put yourself in her shoes, how would you like to be on the receiving end of what you are proposing for her?

From here you may be able to find a compromise, but you need to be just as accepting of nothing at all.

From the Blank manual...

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=354767

Wow top advice thanks everyone. Will have a good conversation and see how it goes.
I think it'll definitely be a spontaneous decision at some point down the track

cybercurious91 said:

So my girlfriend is not keen on the whole anal thing but I realllllly want to do it more.
Apparently we've done it once when we were both extremely drunk but I don't remember at all so don't really count it.
Is there a way to ease into it? Any tips or tricks that could lead to doing it or is it just one of those things that I'll rarely get to do

Click to expand...

Anal is not for everyone. You say that your girlfriend is not keen on it, but you didn't give us the reason why. Does she think it is too dirty, too painful, or a fear of disease? They are all legitimate concerns, so before you try to turn her into an anal loving slut, you need the answers to these questions first. You also didnt mention how long you and your girlfriend have been together. That could also play a role in her mind.

There are ways to ease her into anal play, but you have to make it all about her pleasure and not your own. Drunk anal sex is certainly not the way to go about it, so be a responsible adult first and foremost and know what your limit is (and especially hers as well) when it comes to drinking. The last thing you need is to do her harm. That is a sure way to defeat your purpose and possibly lose your girlfriend.

Since you and your girlfriend are already sexual, you should already be aware of her body pretty well. Not all women are the same size back there, so if she is obviously smaller than other women you have been with, it will definitely make a difference with what she can handle. Remember that she is your girlfriend and not some porn actress who gets paid to take it from behind.

Foreplay is always a great way to get her worked up, so use that to your advantage. Even women who enjoy anal may only crave it when they are really turned on, so putting her pleasure first, could make a difference. When she is really turned on, have her lay on her stomach and use your fingers and tongue to work your way from her calves, then her thighs and then her ass cheeks.

Gauge her reaction when you make it to her cheeks and if she is giving you the green light, then stimulate her anus without actually penetrating it with your fingers. Your goal is to leave her wanting more. Take things at a slow pace and if you prove to her that her pleasure is just as important as your own, then she will be more likely to allow you to take things further.

Yeah all this is ok but can tell you the first time I let a guy do me in the butt was simply because he wanted to and asked me

off-topic sorry! mod please delete

NippleMuncher said:

What CWatson said!!!

Anal isn't about you and what you want, it is about your partner, her fears, her needs, her desires, and how YOU accommodate those things. In a word, communication.

Talk with her about it, listen to what she tells you. Be understanding. And, finally, put yourself in her shoes, how would you like to be on the receiving end of what you are proposing for her?

From here you may be able to find a compromise, but you need to be just as accepting of nothing at all.

Click to expand...

Great advice. ^^

She will definitely need to be on side before you go there. Working her up with lots of sex play in advance may help. If you get her really worked up, use lots of lube and play 'around' her anus first, get her used to the sensation and then probe a bit. This may take a few rounds before she gets used to it. The skin around the anus is highly sensitive and it will probably take a bit of getting used to. Communication is key, talk to her while you play with her. I've found getting her on her knees on the bed, head down will give me great access to her pussy. Use a couple fingers in her pussy with one hand and play around her anus with your thumb (usually the other hand). (Note my wife ususally does an anal flush in anticipation of any anal play in advance, otherwise I dont even go there.)

When she's breathing heavy from stroking inside her pussy, slowly use your finger (again, lots of lube) and probe just inside her asshole. If she tightens up, stop. Let her adjust but continue stroking her pussy with your other hand. You should get to the point where you can slowly use a finger in her ass while you are still stroking her pussy. Use some variety to get her worked up but make sure you massage her g-spot as well to get her to orgasm.

Once she gets used to a finger in her ass, move up to your thumb. Keep stroking her pussy and get her off. After an orgasm, she'll loosen up more and proceed with your finger in her ass again. Lube more, slowly keep stroking inside her pussy and talk to her when you insert your thumb into her ass.

Make sure she's ok and if so, you can move up to lubing up your dick, get up on your knees (or I prefer standing on the floor and her kneeling at the edge of the bed) and slowly try to put your dick in. If she tightens again, stop, might have to do a bit more finger play in her ass and try again. If she sees that its not that uncomfortable, maybe even stimulating, she might be more accommodating.

Hope this helps.