The GLBT Currently Masturbating Thread

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I'm currently in negotiations with my dick. He's going on about how the bacon and eggs I had for breakfast affects him emotionally (some nonsense about how, if I cared about him, I'd care about my "heart health"), and I'm all, like, Come, on, baby, give me a little sump'n, and tomorrow morning I'll have oatmeal. Oh, how I hate the games he plays with me.
 
Hard and horny and stroking for so long. Could use some company. Anyone want to phone or skype?
 
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