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Old 07-17-2017, 03:42 PM   #51
ChloeTzang
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Originally Posted by NOIRTRASH View Post
Yesterday I looked at a book that opens with a guy filling a whisky bottle with gasoline, inserting a rag into the bottle, lighting the rag, then throwing the flaming bottle thru a window.

Every story you write starts with a girl plucking petals from daisoes and saying HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Wait till I finish my first run at a Noir love story James. There's at least one fireball so far when a meth lab goes up, my heroine guns down two bikers, fucks her boyfriends dad plus ..... "Lovecraft and my Grandpops" - a work in progress that's not quite he loves me he loves me not.....
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Old 07-17-2017, 09:37 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by ChloeTzang View Post
Wait till I finish my first run at a Noir love story James. There's at least one fireball so far when a meth lab goes up, my heroine guns down two bikers, fucks her boyfriends dad plus ..... "Lovecraft and my Grandpops" - a work in progress that's not quite he loves me he loves me not.....
Oh, come on! You know you want to have the heroine say it every time she pulls the trigger.

"He loves me." *Blam* "He loves me not." *Blam* With her eyes and the muzzle of the gun flickering around, she slips the tip of her tantō through the bindings on her lovers wrists. "You better fucking love me, bitch."

"Mmph." He peels the tape off his mouth as the pair move towards the door of the abandoned warehouse. "I can honestly say you've never been hotter, Chloe."
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Old 07-17-2017, 10:33 PM   #53
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Oh, come on! You know you want to have the heroine say it every time she pulls the trigger.

"He loves me." *Blam* "He loves me not." *Blam* With her eyes and the muzzle of the gun flickering around, she slips the tip of her tantō through the bindings on her lovers wrists. "You better fucking love me, bitch."

"Mmph." He peels the tape off his mouth as the pair move towards the door of the abandoned warehouse. "I can honestly say you've never been hotter, Chloe."
Here ya go PuckIt. PLenty of "Blam* s here. A humongously rough draft... Hopefully enough violence to tickle Noir as well. And dick's, altho they soon go the way of all flesh when it meets a 1911 round.

Dozer smiles, heís starting to move towards me and Pops training kicks in. Iím not going to be a victim. Iím not. The 1911 comes out from behind my butt, sweeps up, both hands, Iím not controlling my breathing, Iím holding my breath though as I aim with my extended arms and my body and the gun comes up and the front sight centers on Dozerís dick and I pull back on the trigger, fast, jerking the 1911. It doesnít matter, Iím aiming low.

ďBlamĒ and half his dick vanishes in a spray of blood.
ďBlamĒ and thereís a blossom of red in the center of his stomach.
ďBlamĒ and thereís another in his chest and heís stumbling backwards against Pepe whoís standing there frozen and my 1911 is riding up with every shot but it doesnít matter coz I started low the way Pops taught me.
ďBlamĒ and the bullet hits him dead between the eyes, eyes that are suddenly empty of life as he falls backwards through the doorway, disappearing into the night, leaving Pepe. A very surprised looking Pepe.

I move, the gun moving with me, aiming with my body and my arms. The sight. Lower center of bodymass and Iím right on target as I pull back on the trigger without thought. Just sheer blind terror. ďBlamĒ and Pepe looks down at the red hole in the center of his stomach but now Iím looking at his dick and I remember what he said and itís still hard and threatening, pointing at me like itís a fucking weapon.

ďBlam.Ē Well, that disarmed his dick, itís not a fucking weapon anymore and itís not going anywhere near me now either. No sewing that fucker back on. Pepe screams. Screams and takes a staggering step towards me.

ďBlam.Ē My 1911 rides up as I shoot again. A second blossom of red in the center of his stomach and heís standing there with both hands holding himself and heís looking at me and when I pull the trigger again it clicks on empty and Iíve used all seven rounds and Pepe sees that and takes a step towards me.

Thereís the second mag that Iíd stuck in my pocket and Pops taught me that fast reload and he drilled it into me again and again and I havenít forgotten. Muscle memory. I drop the empty mag and reload and as I jack a round in, Pepe screams, ďGonna kill you, bitchĒ and takes another step towards me and oh shit, heís reaching for me with blood stained hands and I donít want him anywhere near me and Iím screaming and bringing the gun up and his hands go for my throat as I push the barrel against his chest and pull the trigger again and again as fast as I can.

ďBlam ÖBlam Ö. Blam Ö Blam,Ē the 1911 is pressed against his body with every shot and every shot hits him and pushes him back as he reaches for me, blossoms of red flowering again and again until he crashes to the floor at my feet and ďBlam Ö Blam Ö BlamĒ Iím still shooting down into him coz heís moving, he keeps moving as the bullets hit him and Iím not stopping until he stops moving but he wonít stop, heís jerking around on the floor and I shoot until thereís a click and no blam.

I keep pulling the trigger though. Iím still aiming at him where heís lying on the floor at my feet and Iím pulling the trigger and itís clicking and clicking and Iím screaming and screaming when thereís a flurry of shots outside and a cop comes through the door with his gun in his hand and puts another couple in to Pepe, bouncing him around on the floor some more and now I drop my gun and just scream and scream and scream and thereís a siren outside thatís screaming even more loudly than I am...

Last edited by ChloeTzang : 07-18-2017 at 02:22 AM.
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Old 07-17-2017, 11:51 PM   #54
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Chloe, you forgot da rules - work not seen by Laurel is not meant to be published except maybe 3-4 paras tops. This might get cut when the Mod drops by....
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Old 07-18-2017, 12:09 AM   #55
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For everyanyoneandmyself.
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Old 07-18-2017, 02:13 AM   #56
ChloeTzang
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Originally Posted by electricblue66 View Post
Chloe, you forgot da rules - work not seen by Laurel is not meant to be published except maybe 3-4 paras tops. This might get cut when the Mod drops by....
Oops. I did forget. Thx for the reminder. I shall go and self police.

Not sure if you saw the original, Noir, before I cut it back, but that's near the end of the blam blam blam scene.

Last edited by ChloeTzang : 07-18-2017 at 04:40 AM.
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Old 07-18-2017, 07:26 AM   #57
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We need a lame writing thread. To encourage mediocre writers to go for inane.
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Old 07-18-2017, 08:01 AM   #58
ChloeTzang
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Originally Posted by NOIRTRASH View Post
We need a lame writing thread. To encourage mediocre writers to go for inane.
Oooooooh. lol. You remind me so much of both my granddads. Xoxoxo and you have a great day, okay🌹
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Old 07-18-2017, 08:26 AM   #59
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Oooooooh. lol. You remind me so much of both my granddads. Xoxoxo and you have a great day, okay🌹
I am a grabdfather. I'm congruent.

Bruce Jenner just came with a new perfume he calls Mystery.

I wanted to get some for TEX but know he's drink it and complain about its flavor. His favorite flavor is Public Urenil Bouquet.
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Last edited by NOIRTRASH : 07-18-2017 at 08:32 AM.
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Old 07-18-2017, 10:50 AM   #60
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We need a lame writing thread. To encourage mediocre writers to go for inane.
We did an Authors' Hangout Worst Chain Story Ever some years ago. The writing was lame, inane, and awful...
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