PM asshattery

So that's why some men are dogs! :catroar:

Now the question: Who let them out?

Yes, that analogy works well on many levels. Not only am I clever, but I'm informative. :D

So, just like I'm clever and witty, I'm not a dog. But if I was, I'd be an elite, rugged as Yorkie or something. But like a manly one, you know? A badass Yorkie.

As to who let them out... It's like asking who let stray dogs out. No one LET them out, per se. They just are there. And sometimes they do funny things that we see as they are driving down the road. But mostly they are nuisance creatures, because they make messes and spread their germs everywhere.

And for the record, I'd be a more rugged dog than a Yorkie. I'd be something badass like a mastiff. But smart like a beagle. Maybe a combo. A mastiffeagle????
 
You ever notice how when you read their profile, when they have one, they say they're "55" or "65" and they attack our pm boxes like horny 18yr olds, makes me wonder how angry they would get if their wives, or daughters were assumed whores and cocksuckers..:rolleyes: Idiots.

Oddly from his posts, he was 60 in May, 61 in July, and is now 59 in Dec. He has suddenly become Benjamin Button or some bizarre shift in the space time continuum has occurred that I am unaware of.

snip
This had me rolling:

"I’m not saying I’m chivalrous, but I’m polite. Before anal sex I’ll be sure to put some nutella or peanut butter on your butthole and lick it up."

Not chivalrous?!?!? He's practically a knight in shining armour!!!!

Thanks for that link, Eilan. Never thought I'd say that. :)
That one was my favorite too. He is a truly a prince.

So that's why some men are dogs! :catroar:

Now the question: Who let them out?
Precisely why I am rapidly becoming a fan of the "catch, neuter, release" program--but never for manly Mastifeagles.

All this talk of dogs is making me sad. :(
 
I am loathe to click on any link E puts up, as she is the devil and tries to introduce my angel eyes to the vilest, most evil things of a sexual nature known to man, woman or beast. I was even more frightened as the name of this site looks like "anals of online dating". However, thanks to some other kind reviews from other posters who don't possess a forked tongue and a fiery trident, I clicked. And I'm glad I did. This had me rolling:

"I’m not saying I’m chivalrous, but I’m polite. Before anal sex I’ll be sure to put some nutella or peanut butter on your butthole and lick it up."

Not chivalrous?!?!? He's practically a knight in shining armour!!!!

Thanks for that link, Eilan. Never thought I'd say that. :)
:nana:
 
Yes, that analogy works well on many levels. Not only am I clever, but I'm informative. :D

So, just like I'm clever and witty, I'm not a dog. But if I was, I'd be an elite, rugged as Yorkie or something. But like a manly one, you know? A badass Yorkie.

As to who let them out... It's like asking who let stray dogs out. No one LET them out, per se. They just are there. And sometimes they do funny things that we see as they are driving down the road. But mostly they are nuisance creatures, because they make messes and spread their germs everywhere.

And for the record, I'd be a more rugged dog than a Yorkie. I'd be something badass like a mastiff. But smart like a beagle. Maybe a combo. A mastiffeagle????
Meagle.

Also, how the heck would that work? Theyre not even close to the same size.

...

Annnd now I need the brain bleach.
 
Sent by asshat: So your profile says you Bi-female but do you ever have sex with girls too?

LOL - Need some age restrictions on this site! ROFLMAO :)
 
Expect to see an increase in semi-literate leg-humpery now that many high schools and colleges are starting their holiday breaks.
 
Expect to see an increase in semi-literate leg-humpery now that many high schools and colleges are starting their holiday breaks.

True - we'll probably see some good one's over the next few weeks!


My favorite is when these guys come on wanting me to "teach" them how to seduce thier sisters!
 
OnceFuturePedo:

Title: Get your meds checked


Get your meds checked.

Over the last several months, your posts have become very emotional, and even somewhat irrational. There is also a monthly cycle discernible.

I used to look forward to reading what you had to say.


*********

Sure. I can tell you really used to be my biggest fan.

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Plus ten douchnugget points for the thinly veiled misogyny.
 
It seems quite a few of these have been creeping out from under one lately.



my response:

Ah, I see, so you are calling me a slut then, just in an articulate manner.

*sigh*

You were dead wrong on a few points. I guess we both made some assumptions. Mine was that a man of your generation would exibit the manners to at least introduce himself before essentially jacking off into a strange woman's inbox. Clearly, my mistake.
Since the post was mine..I have a suggestion.Take your meds...your mental health is at stake.
 
Well since you outed yourself, let's just post parts 2 and 3 of the response you sent.

see above asshat part 2 said:
I assumed that a women who describes her footwear as"fuck you boots"might enjoy acting a little slutty now and again.My bad.BTW I never introduce myself in my first message.If the recipient responds then I introduce myself.So in your case no introduction will be sent.You have a very happy holiday

I do enjoy acting slutty sometimes--just not with some jackass who knows absolutely nothing about me.

and

see above asshat part 3 said:
I hate to disappoint but I do not jack off into a strange woman's inbox.But perhaps you do.

Hmmm, I don't send unsolicited pm's to women, but if I do decide to start, I will certainly make sure to take a page out of your book and be rude from the jump. I've seen how well that sort of thing works out all over this thread.

As for meds, I can see how you would think I'm the one with the mental health issues considering I sent you a rude pm out of the blue. . . oh wait. . .
 
I assumed that a women who's tagline is"come on in...the smut is fine"would be interested in reading some smut.I won't make that mistake again.
 
I assumed that a women who's tagline is"come on in...the smut is fine"would be interested in reading some smut.I won't make that mistake again.

Mr EmptybigD,

You say you will learn from your mistake. But I was wondering if you actually unlearn things as you reverse-age. You appear to be growing younger at the alarming rate of one year every three months or so.

Does the wisdom and amassed knowledge of a lifetime diminish along with your wrinkles and swollen prostate? Or are you in fact capable of learning from your mistakes, and becoming a better, more polite, and wiser fellow, even as your sad, dangly testes slowly inch back to their original scrotal glory?
 
This one's a beaut ...

Looking at you is a gift. You are simply stunning, beautiful, and very sexy...hopefully not to bold....but it is the TRUTH. You are fabulous; absolutely rock hard fabulous! That ass looks so delicious.

I can't help it anymore. I have to tell you whenever I look at your pictures or even when you just come across my mind, I get harder than I ever have before. I get really really hard and I get these thoughts about you; dirty thoughts of things I want to do with you. I want to kiss you and lick you from head to your toes, every inch. I want to kiss your lips, lick your tongue, your ears and your neck. I want to put my tongue inside your, you know where as deep as I can. I want to taste you.

Looking at you, I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas.... Xxx

**************

I have no idea how this asshat knows what my ass looks like since I've never had it photographed ... ever ... let alone have it posted online. :rolleyes:
 
Looking at you is a gift. You are simply stunning, beautiful, and very sexy...hopefully not to bold....but it is the TRUTH. You are fabulous; absolutely rock hard fabulous! That ass looks so delicious.

I can't help it anymore. I have to tell you whenever I look at your pictures or even when you just come across my mind, I get harder than I ever have before. I get really really hard and I get these thoughts about you; dirty thoughts of things I want to do with you. I want to kiss you and lick you from head to your toes, every inch. I want to kiss your lips, lick your tongue, your ears and your neck. I want to put my tongue inside your, you know where as deep as I can. I want to taste you.

Looking at you, I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas.... Xxx

**************

I have no idea how this asshat knows what my ass looks like since I've never had it photographed ... ever ... let alone have it posted online. :rolleyes:


He said "I want to put my tongue inside your, you know where"

LMFAO!!

Creepy that he feels he "knows" what your ass looks like..:eek:

These douchebags get more weird and more creepy..

Lit needs to add a yuck face to thier smiles catagory.
 
I like when they tell me they want to lick my ass and kiss me all over!
I'am not kissing anyone who has just licked my asshole!:eek:
I'm even thinking of removing my AV pic and putting up a fake - maybe the Pink Panther. :D
 
I'm not slamming any woman who fatansizes or has ever had an MFM threesome, but to be asked about one by some asshat out of the blue?

CluelessFucktard said:
I hv a fantasy to make love a woman while her man watches us.. he then joins us to give his wife the pleasure of being loved by 2 men.. 2 tongues 2 pair of lips and hands caressing her... and ofcourse to mention.. 2 dicks... does it turn u on?

MsQuote said:
Here's my fantasy ...

I meet a man who's interested in me as a person. We can talk enthusiastically about a number of things ... books, music, politics. He thinks I'm smart. He thinks I'm funny. He thinks I'm attractive.

Nervously, politely and coyishly, he asks for my phone number. He asks me out for drinks and dinner to get to know me better. He smiles. He's smitten. He sends flowers to my office.

After three or four dates, we definitely know there's chemistry and he's pretty sure he likes me, if not is starting to fall in love. We're having a wonderful dinner together, and he says, "I'd love to make love to you tonight."

I bet you never expected that coming from a woman on Literotica, did you? Or did you think we're all free, on-demand pornbots?
 
I know I've already spent too much time with this guy, but I couldn't be slightly amused by his cluelessness ...

CluelessFucktard said:
Well i always believe in expect the unexpected. I like your thoughts... and i dont believe that all are pornbots.


MsQuote said:
Not all? How about never making that assumption about any woman on Literortica or elsewhere?

Try reserving that fantasy for a woman you can treat well first and get to know very well second.
 
Funny how I gave this asshat the nom de plume CluelessFucktard right from the beginning ...

CluelessFucktard said:
Fair.. thought.. dont think you wana pursue this conversation further

MsQuote said:
If you know anything about proper PM protocol on Literotica, it's considered poor form to approach a woman you don't know directly via PM ... especially if the topic of conversation is explicit.

It's usually preferred that you start a rapport on one of the public boards. You'll see many of my posts here: PM asshattery
 
Funny how I gave this asshat the nom de plume CluelessFucktard right from the beginning ...

Well there goes my theory that he was going through all the ladies alphabetically, as M is after S.

Handled with style and grace as always MsQ
 
My favorite is when these guys come on wanting me to "teach" them how to seduce thier sisters!



Booze! Am I right?! :D



tumblr_lftgomgxUK1qzblv4.gif
 
Well there goes my theory that he was going through all the ladies alphabetically, as M is after S.

Handled with style and grace as always MsQ

Thank you, Saucy One, although I only wish I could be as cutting and as witty with comebacks as you!
 
MsQuote,

He said "not all"..of course :rolleyes: I hope he came here LoL
*sticking middle finger up* yeah you're an asshat!


You know though, we hit these idiots with concrete bricks, and i'm all about putting the scum in their places & humiliating them, it's fun to do & they do deserve it LoL :D

But, indeed, some of these ladies, are SO THIRSTY for any kind of attention and let these assclowns speak to them in that manner that they think it's okay for them to address all women like us the same way :rolleyes:
 
<snip>

But, indeed, some of these ladies, are SO THIRSTY for any kind of attention and let these assclowns speak to them in that manner that they think it's okay for them to address all women like us the same way :rolleyes:

It's too bad there are some women who are so damn horny that they don't realize asshats like the ones we expose are only focused on one thing ... their dicks.

Maybe it's my age. Maybe it's because I've been through so much bullshit with men in the past that I'd rather do without than settling.

Then again, sex chat/phone sex with men I don't know isn't my thing. Plus, I have the most wonderful man and lover in my life. I often joke with him that he should give lessons in being a gentleman, seduction, and being an awesome sex partner.
 
Then again, sex chat/phone sex with men I don't know isn't my thing. Plus, I have the most wonderful man and lover in my life. I often joke with him that he should give lessons in being a gentleman, seduction, and being an awesome sex partner.

I am 34 and my story tells it all. I put a link to it in my signature and they just can't seem to read.


Sig. quote: I don't exchange pic's. or role play.

Asshatt: Do you want to get together so I can lick your sweet ass?



Come on guys! Learn to read and learn some freakin' respect if you want girls to stay here! A little respect can go a long way and may keep you off of someones ignore list!
 
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