Share your perspective on Switching

AlwaysFara said:

Interesting.

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You're surprised?

I'm switchy, too. But you knew that.

.....

Wild_Honey_66 said:

You said subbing. *giggles*

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Hehe...

To me, Tops & bottoms are a little different from Switches Dom's and subs. The first describes that person's role in a scene or relationship while the latter is who that person is beneath all the role play. I thought I was a switch for years but I just really like control and that fetish deluded me into thinking I was a switch. When I Dommed I would grow weary of it. It takes a lot of work. When I submitted to two Dom's in a row I knew

I like sweettalk's definition a lot. I can top from time to time and enjoy it. But the pleasure that gives me is primarily that of pleasing my partner. I could go my entire life without ever topping again. But the thought of never subbing again makes me extremely sad, because that is who I am underneath it all

Josie_03 said:

I'm one.

It depends on the man. I'm a very confident and assertive woman, it takes an confident and assertive man to be able to Dom me. Now, I respond better to a gentle dom, otherwise the Domme comes bursting out.

Im bratty and witty...

Buttons are buttons though, and my sub ones are strong.

That being said, I hate labels. Let me just be.

Puppies need not apply.

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What if i wanna be your puppy? *gives the big eyes*

Josie_03 said:

Oh please! You are anything but a puppy.

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Hehe

I can go either way. Dom or neutral is sort of the default state but everything depends on the dynamic that develops of course. Any hint of submissive stuff didn't come naturally, I had to teach myself to recognize and embrace my sub buttons- but it can feel very enriching.
I don't like the discussions of what constitutes a "true" dom/sub/bdsm practitioner, it just rings too much of gatekeeping.

LL88 said:

I like sweettalk's definition a lot. I can top from time to time and enjoy it. But the pleasure that gives me is primarily that of pleasing my partner. I could go my entire life without ever topping again. But the thought of never subbing again makes me extremely sad, because that is who I am underneath it all

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I like what you said.
I do like to Dom from time to time. but if I can be the sub that would be awful
I feel more fulfilled being the bottom person and giving up control to someone else

I think switching if you can is the best of both worlds, you can bounce off each other both mentally and physically and push each others envelope, exploring and edging each other forward, imo its also fun when the tables are turned.

I'm a switch although far more dominant. Getting into the sub space can take the right mood and a very alpha woman. I'm not sure about the viability within a relationship. I've topped in all mine except one. It seems like a headache to get right with two switches in a relationship.

Wild_Honey_66 said:

I find that my chemistry with each person is unique, and not dependent upon how they (or I) identify. I've met some Domly Doms who I'd like to Domme the shit out of, and some submissive women whose feet I'd be happy to curl myself around. I don't understand it, I just try to roll with it.

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This is my experience as well.

The one hurdle I've hit so far was trying to be switch with the same person. I dommed her, and she had her own sub, and I tried to switch to be her sub during some of our play, it got awkward and weird. I think it was mostly because the dynamic worked for us with me as the dom, but just didn't work switching roles. She was a great dom to her sub, and I've been the best sub in the world to other women, so that's my 2 cents.

My Dom and I both enjoy switching at times, and I love how cool he is with it and turned on when I do assert myself, but generally I prefer to be the Sub.

Switching with a switch never appealed to me until it happened, and it was terrific.

I absolutely love it, and luckily my current #1 and Dom, feels exactly the same way

Wild_Honey_66 said:

Switching with a switch never appealed to me until it happened, and it was terrific.

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I'm exceedingly jealous of this. My subby switch side rarely comes out because it's a rare woman dominant enough to top me and my wife is only theoretically a switch.

Collar_N_Cuffs said:

Kick started by the gentle Domme thread, let's talk about switching.

What is your perception of switching? Can people successfully both act as Dom(me) and sub? Top and bottom? Is it possible with the same person? Are different relationships required for the different functions? Does a switching partnership have more challenges than a static partnership or more rewards? How are switches regarded in a community largely defined by Dom(mes) and subs? Is it uncomfortable interacting with switches? Would you interact the same with someone regardless if they were Dom(me), sub or switch?

This is the thread to share any and all experiences, thoughts, feelings and questions on switching.

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Lots of questions and that is good. I tried both sides and learned from both too. I would often think that I was more submissive because I tended to lose interest in being dominant after awhile. I submitted to a Domme once who sort of handed me off to a Dom when she had to go away so I did not switch to dominant in my next relationship. He was very good and it was a bisexual relationship as well. He became involved and she did not want to share. As it happened my next relationship was with a Dom too and he feminized me. I was in total submission now with no thoughts of ever going back. But after a year and a half I had taken it as far as my inner switch would let me and I had to cut it off. I am having a wonderful Dominant relationship now and feel I am, after all this, truly a switch

I guess technically I'm a switch, I have dommed before, and found it to be quite pleasurable.

With my sub, when we met, the whole idea was that she was a starting-dom who wanted my help as a submissive, to teach her how to dominate better.

We met for dinner, and before I knew it, we were in her car making out. She fell into a submissive role, as much as I tried to be the submissive, she kept leaving decisions up to me. We went back to her place and I basically had to command her to command me to go down on her.

From that point, it became clear we had a connection and that she was submissive to me, so I used my experiences and lots of reading to become her dominant. We played once every couple of weeks. I collared her, bound her, spanked her, etc..

After a few months, I was frustrated with her constant attempts to top from the bottom, and I told her it was time to train her to be dominant.

It was a very mixed bag.

For starters, it's very hard to just switch like that. She wasn't comfortable domming me and it showed, but she did have some promise, so I figured it out after a few more sessions that she had feelings towards me - but those feelings were wrapped around my dominating her.. She couldn't fully accept me as a sub, or couldn't handle switching I guess. It was awkward for us both, for what that's worth.

That was the beginning of the end really.

I think that when you/we establish a relationship on a D/s scale with a clear dom and sub, that trying to change those boundaries will also unfortunately open up a realignment of the compatibility, and if you are already compatible in your roles, why risk incompatibility in changed roles? I think if you are both switch from the start, and practice both sides, then it would be better, but take it from this sub.. switching roles after time just didn't work out, and caused us to split after almost a year. In hindsight, I should have sought out a mistress or domina to satisfy my submissive needs and stuck with the status quo with my sub.

Yes it is very hard to change roles in an established relationship.

hah, I didn't realize I had posted in this thread before..

So much for mental focus :/

even dom's need some tlc now and then

I think everyone is different. I consider myself a Switch because I have done both. But it depends on who I am with and our relationship before I would consider Switching.

ES

I tried my hand a being Dom years ago and there was some enjoyment but not nearly as much as I get by being submissive.

I started out as Dom when I was younger. Then I met a women who was a experienced Dom and made me her sub. I realized I enjoyed be a sub a lot more than being a Dom. Since, that time I have not been a Dom again.

I find the even when she is being dominate I'm still the one in control. Not by choice but by her lack of confidence.