Would you?

Think I probably missed Will and Mollie too but I'm lost as to who has written what now. Who would have thought I would need a spreadsheet when I started this thread? :)

Butters your subject is Frottage on a packed train
Will your subject is Waking up next to a stranger
Mollie your subject is Making mayonnaise sexy

:eek: sorry! I only just spotted this in amongst the others. now I'm wishing I hadn't!!!!! better catch up on my homework!
 
:cool:

your poem came across as truth. no matter if it was or not, you made it so. and that means you made the write work. some people will share similar experiences to you, but will lack the ability to write it out.

the fact so many of us read the Narnia series as children, lost in the wonder and its magic, we'll invest readily in the piece, having fond memories we bring to the table. these will contrast so jarringly with the experience of the child in the poem, his reasons for escape, that we readily succumb to the gut-punch that follows with the destruction of the book and all it stands for. :rose:

That was my intent in the two stanzas if you ever got lost in that place or books in general then I was hoping that in those two frames I could get that imagery imbedded before tearing it all apart. That it actually happened is the real shit part.

The real concern those is that was a live write straight in the box
 
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<snip>
Champagne your subject is Write a poem that admits a dark secret of yours.<snip>

Confessions Into A Closet

Don't be misled, Mother dear, unlike my sibling
I'm not coming out
though I'm not sure why she ever thought
she was in, they've been married in their hearts
and mine since their love saved her life
But that isn't why I am compelled
to open this drawer of silky "nothings"
and to let you know that despite
all your illusions of my wholesome
goodness I sucked my first cock
long before I left home...
 
Confessions Into A Closet

Don't be misled, Mother dear, unlike my sibling
I'm not coming out
though I'm not sure why she ever thought
she was in, they've been married in their hearts
and mine since their love saved her life
But that isn't why I am compelled
to open this drawer of silky "nothings"
and to let you know that despite
all your illusions of my wholesome
goodness I sucked my first cock
long before I left home...

Ohhhhh!
 
*a true smile*

I thought I'd smiled in my life despite my
past, rife with pain and touches of insane

You found me, you were
shy, sheepish, sheltered,
would approach then turn away
months you chased while I never
had a way of knowing, till new
years eve, you gave your friend
permission to give me your
number, so cute like high school

You were nothin like any woman
I had ever met, so dainty, so proper
you covered your mouth when you
said shit.
We dated for weeks, didn't want to spoil
your innocence, my baggage, not for you
but you had found your bad boy
all dangerous and damaged, you dove in
kissed me, that kiss took my heart,
gave me a fresh start, for that I smiled
my first real smile, one that touched my eyes
a truth passed from your lips to mine

Two years later our daughter is born,
I was removed from the birth due to
complications, nearly got shot by a cop
so stressed was I, in that moment I
realised what you meant to me.
All calmed, police stood down,
anger and fear abated, you were fine
elated at the birth.

I met her,
my whole life crying was for pain
gained nothing from it no sympathy
no release from torment, had not wept
in years, peer down on this precious
princess, smile it fills my soul,
I am whole, tears stream,
Tears of happiness, who knew.

Smile, I do it daily
proper smiles, not ones miles from truth,
ones that beam out, tell the world this
man is fixed, he is happy.
Life makes me smile
family make me smile
 
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*a true smile*

I thought I'd smiled in my life despite my
past, rife with pain and touches of insane

You found me, you were
shy, sheepish, sheltered,
would approach then turn away
months you chased while I never
had a way of knowing, till new
years eve, you gave your friend
permission to give me your
number, so cute like high school

You were nothin like any woman
I had ever met, so dainty, so proper
you covered your mouth when you
said shit.
We dated for weeks, didn't want to spoil
your innocence, my baggage, not for you
but you had found your bad boy
all dangerous and damaged, you dove in
kissed me, that kiss took my heart,
gave me a fresh start, for that I smiled
my first real smile, one that touched my eyes
a truth passed from your lips to mine

Two years later our daughter is born,
I was removed from the birth due to
complications, nearly got shot by a cop
so stressed was I, in that moment I
realised what you meant to me.
All calmed, police stood down,
anger and fear abated, you were fine
elated at the birth.

I met her,
my whole life crying was for pain
gained nothing from it no sympathy
no release from torment, had not wept
in years, peer down on this precious
princess, smile it fills my soul,
I am whole, tears stream down
Tears of happiness, who knew.

Smile, I do it daily
proper smiles, not ones miles from truth,
ones that beam out, tell the world this
man is fixed, he is happy.
Life makes me smile
family make me smile
..
you had me with the first two lines.
..
proper smiles :)
 
Ghost.

No rattle of chains or evil deeds
just a gentle reminder of what I was
in limbo following ancient creeds
to be felt or heard without the cause.

It's a gentle reminder of what I was
a shadow of my previous form
to be felt or heard without the cause
a vague remembrance of the norm.

A shadow of my previous form
a sound, a sigh, perhaps a thought
a vague remembrance of the norm
a situation never sought.

A sound, a sigh, perhaps a thought
a sob so soft, so full of sorrow
a situation never sought
an emptiness of No Tomorrow.

No rattle of chains or evil deeds
a sob so soft, so full of sorrow
in limbo following ancient creeds
an emptiness of No Tomorrow.

Just wanted to re-visit this, I think you chose the perfect way to represent the ghost, due to the "ghosting" effect of the pantoum it highlights your swinging lines and doubles the punch of the sorrow rife within. I picture your poor ghost so very clear and ethereal I love it.
 
I'll have a go at one please.

A year or so back a group of friends played a similar game and the subject I drew was "Miss Beatrice Shilling's Orifice" My effort was hopeless, perhaps you would like to have a crack yourself - or give it a flick pass to someone else. :)
 
Tess your subject is Watching thunderstorms

On those hot, still days
when pillows of white
piled up on the horizon
and grew gigantic
closing in
blocking sun
stiff breezes driven
ahead as warning
we wait for the sound

Distant at first
one hippopotamus two
hippopotamus three
until it stopped at one
and the flash and crack
simultaneous
we'd scream delightedly.

Often the rain came
in sheets drenching
our sun-brown skin
filling gutters to
torrent down the road
where we'd dance
the dance of summer savages

In Switzerland
they fired cannons
at approaching electricity
it never seemed to work
the glass roof of Thun station
shattered over us
hail as big as golf balls
bounced at out feet.

Now I lie at night
watch the flash or streak
and count the seconds
until the throaty rumble
of the gods' bowling ball
roll across the heavens.
 
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On those hot, still days
when pillows of white
piled up on the horizon
and grew gigantic
closing in
blocking sun
stiff breezes driven
ahead as warning
we wait for the sound

Distant at first
one hippopotamus two
hippopotamus three
until it stopped at one
and the flash and crack
simultaneous
we'd scream delightedly.

Often the rain came
in sheets drenching
our sun-brown skin
filling gutters to
torrent down the road
where we'd dance
the dance of summer savages

In Switzerland
they fired cannons
at approaching electricity
it never seemed to work
the glass roof of Thun station
shattered over us
hail as big as golf balls
bounced at out feet.

Now I lie at night
watch the flash or streak
and count the seconds
until the throaty rumble
of the gods' bowling ball
roll across the heavens.

Fabulous I still do the counting only for us it was God moving furniture :)
 
I'll have a go at one please.

A year or so back a group of friends played a similar game and the subject I drew was "Miss Beatrice Shilling's Orifice" My effort was hopeless, perhaps you would like to have a crack yourself - or give it a flick pass to someone else. :)

Ishtat your subject is Running out of coffee ....... I'll give Miss Beatrice a thought lol
 
Miss Beatrice Shilling's orifice
has never known a man,
but she has experimented with
buzzing phallic appliances.
Only at the entrance you understand,
any more would be a sacrilege
at the sacred altar of her womanhood
saved for 'the one' who never came.
 
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